-It was the end of a beautiful illusion-
Shocked, badly hurt and completely tangled, I stared at the giddy couple while hearing my heart completely crush into a pile of shattered pieces. Aliya was furiously mincing words of disgust and jealousy beside me; her hands clenching the window sill tightly, but her voice seemed mute to my soul that was caught in a loud storm created by deep betrayal and intense pain. This is what the ultimate pain and betrayal felt like.
His smile...the way his entire persona beamed as his world cracked a joke...it was excruciating. My nerves felt numb and broken. Too many thoughts...too many fears were jolting my heart. Had Meeran recovered from her amnesia? Was this the reason Demir was being so cold to me? It made sense for him to lose interest in me once his first wife returned. She had been his world...a huge part of his life, he wasn't going to let go of her.
I had been such a fool.
This was my punishment for being so selfish.
Now standing numb with thick tears brimming my ears, the pieces of my broken heart pierced more holes as I watched Demir and Meeran look so happy. That cliché moment...that in-sync happiness...was this what being with your soulmate looked like? Suddenly, I felt like I was the other woman...like my role was only there to distract Demir for some time until Meeran showed up.
"We can still fix this mess," Aliya turned towards me with dark jealousy and a determined fight echoing in her tone.
"I-I-"
"Meeran's return now means nothing. We can convince him to let go...have him move on," she pulled on my arm, dragging me away from the window. My feet; they felt so light and weightless like I could be pulled into any direction or be forced to face any storm. My senses seemed to have sunk into a sheer feeling of despair.
"You can guilt-trap him," she darkly planned, tightening her grip on my arm, making me look up at her with a hurt, confused and pale expression; my watery eyes round and wide with pain-induced dizziness.
"Wha-"
"I will drive you home, and then you can berate him for being out so late...forbid him forever going anywhere without you," she conspired, her voice edged hysteria and manic desperation. My skin felt like losing all colours as I slowly nodded.
"Okay," my voice sounded so tiny.
Hastily being dragged all the way to a black McLaren, I winced as Aliya pushed me towards the car's passenger seat door and then moved to sit in the driving seat, her heels clicking loudly against the grey gravel.
It was quiet as Aliya drove me down the empty streets grown cold under the night sky. There were just so many fears clouding both of our hearts. Meeran's arrival was a crushing nightmare we had avoided for so long. I felt further crushed by the simple thought of how Aliya still considered Meeran a bigger competition than me. Her emotions were enough to show how Demir's affection for me was never powerful enough to make her panic. It was his devotion to Meeran.
Sniffing back tears of intense fear and hurt, I heaved a deep sigh as Aliya finally reached my place-Demir's mansion.
"Just go inside and wait. Trust me, you got this..." she mused, pushing me out of the car. I gulped in nervousness.
Outside, the mansion seemed engulfed in sheer darkness. There was silent air quietly rustling the leaves of the gardens, as the mansion gates jolted before me. Suddenly, everything was looking so loud, big...and cold.
Wrapping arms around myself, I had the guards open the doors for me and stepped inside. The roaring echo of Aliya driving away from me finally allowed me to fully embrace my emotions. I was completely heartbroken. With too many fears and questions brimming my heart, I didn't know what to think or do.
Demir...somehow, I had expected more from him. Watching him secretly meet his first wife was like a thorn pierced deep into my heart. Albeit I had been selfish, all I ever knew was that I was deeply and madly obsessed with him. His laughs...they were lightened my entire world, and his pain...it made me desperate to make him smile and heal.
He was my everything...everything Meeran was to him, and it just hurt how uncertain I was suddenly feeling about our future.
Would he leave?
We had made progress. The past two years had been solid proof of how happy we could be together, but then again, I was never supposed to be a part of this fantasy. I had been a forced choice...someone forced to be adored...and I couldn't really compete with true bonds; Demir's adoration for Meeran was intense and deep-rooted.
Devastated and completely petrified, I slowly dragged my feet against the cold gravel and allowed the night sky to embrace my senses. The silent chirps of crickets felt like echoing in the lonely hollows of my heart. The air...wind...everything...they were making me feel so lonely. I felt so devastating tiny in the middle of the lit driveway. The huge mansion standing before me...it felt so daunting and huge, making me feel so entirely out of place. I didn't know where I belonged anymore.
I was just feeling so devastatingly alone.
Stepping inside the mansion, I had the house staff leave the premises early. Zara showed concern at my drained out behaviour, but I simply assured her that I was fine and sent her to her quarter. Moments like these were so tough...I had to keep calm before breaking down in isolation.
Soon, with my heart beating loudly as minutes passed slowly, I began pacing anxiously pacing in the living room. Each minute seemed crucial...intense...I could feel my husband slipping through my grasp and just didn't know how to keep holding on to him. Each minute felt like I was losing, but I wasn't going to give up yet. Aliya...she said that I still had a chance. Ample time had passed. Demir...he wouldn't just leave me. Despite whatever, I had seen his gaze turn soft for me. I just hoped it was enough to make him stay.
Terrified by the horrors of what could happen...anguished with the memories of my husband's adoring smile as he dined with his first wife, I frantically chewed on my thumbnail. It was almost 9 p.m, and the booming sound of the mansion gates opening had still not echoed across the gardens; Demir was running super late today. My heart rolled in the sheer feeling of hurt and jealousy.
What if Meeran decided to tell him what happened-
Thud!
Listening to the mansion door now slam open, I quickly snapped out of my dreadful trail of thoughts and rushed towards the main hallway. The cold wind welcomed me as I anxiously paced towards my husband. He was already taking his black jacket off.
"Maya!" he beamed at my sight, his expression turning super excited and enthusiastic. My heart rang alarms of caution. A weird form of dread settled in its roots.
"Look whom I have brought home," he gushed, moving to one side. My pace visibly decreased at the announcement.
"Who-" my voice got caught in my throat, as the sound of heels immediately answered my question.
Stepping out from behind Demir was Meeran. My entire world...all emotions...immediately turned completely red and lost. This was my dreaded fear. Her coming back...him bringing her here...it was a nightmare come true. My entire soul lost its colour.
However, not wanting to show my husband how badly I was drowning in the havoc of emotions, I feigned a simple smile, my hands fidgeting in anxiety, and moved closer towards the happy couple.
"Who is this?" I feigned complete ignorance...pretending like this was the first time I had seen Meeran...first time I had met her gaze.
"Meeran," he beamed with excitement, his entire presence literally glowing with happiness. I had never seen him look this eager...this at peace. It was excruciating, igniting that harsh feeling of jealousy and insecurity.
"But I thought-"
"I know," he gushed, excitedly pulling on his locks. "At first, I didn't even believe the news of her surviving. It was such a big shocker," he chuckled, smirking as Meeran softly chuckled from beside him. Her presence...her confidence...she truly looked like his match, his type and his world.
"Umm...it's nice to meet you, Meeran," I hesitantly raised my hand towards her, wincing as she ignored my handshake and chose to press her cheek against mine, instead. Her tall height felt so intimidating and patronizing. I winced, feeling intensely uncomfortable.
Demir's gaze was fixated on the back of my head.
"Demir has told me so much about you. I already feel like I know you," she warmly greeted, her grip strong and confident. This was the woman I had thought I could compete against. I never had a chance.
"Likewise," I tried to keep up with my polite façade, even though I felt like breaking into bits.
"Umm...Maya," Demir then tapped my shoulder, smiling warmly. "Would you mind having the staff prepare tea for us? The weather is really cold outside, so we can really use some warm drinks."
"Course," I nodded.
***
Upon stepping inside the kitchen, I felt a huge wave of suppressed and shattered emotions weighing me towards the floor. Demir had brought her here...he had brought his first wife home. I couldn't believe what was happening...what was my husband thinking. Did he really think I would be okay with him returning back with his wife...his entire world?! It felt like my presence had suddenly turned so tiny and insignificant.
Feeling the shock of Demir bringing back Meeran keep me in a blanched state and turn my heartbeat frantic, I anxiously began rubbing my temples while pulling on random locks of the hair. Demir's foreign behaviour...him simply sending me off to prepare tea...had sent a piercing wave towards my heart.
I just didn't know what to make of this entire scenario...what to believe.
Why was my husband really going to flaunt his adoration for Meeran in front of me? Why is he really going to act so oblivious to my feelings?
I felt so scared...so jealous and so painfully confused.
What was going on?
With huge tears now brimming my eyes as sheer anxiety played with me, I headed towards the kitchen basket to look for a pot. My actions...my movements...they felt so numb, so painfully robotic that I couldn't help but take deep breaths. It felt like the ground had completely disappeared from under my feet.
My husband had the power to both break and heal my heart.
I don't think I was ready to see him even smile at his first wife. It would crush me, but I guess that was my punishment for being so selfishly obsessed with him. I shouldn't have kept Meeran's survival a secret from him...I shouldn't have taken part in that scheme, but I guess time corrected those mistakes for me. Demir was back with Meeran. The gleam in his eyes when he announced her arrival...I had never seen him look so happy or healed; my personal torture. I felt like because of my selfishness...I had lost the right to even feel betrayed, and that feeling itself was excruciating.
All I-I ever wanted was for Demir to adore me. I was willing to be a horrible person for him...even push my conscience to myself because my heart...it only knew how to wholeheartedly care for him. I wasn't well-trained about these emotions. I had watched my grandma obsess over my husband...watched her lose her self-esteem in the process. It was what apparently defined as caring about someone. I was willing to do the same.
Slowly sniffing back waves of hysteria, I then walked towards the main stove and began making tea. My heart...my soul...they were recalling Aliya's words, trying to force me to believe that I still had hope. This excruciating feeling of standing alone in the kitchen and prepare tea for the happy couple wasn't unbearable, but I was too scared to think of what was going to happen next.
Going outside...witnessing the happy couple...seemed like something my heart just wouldn't be able to deal with. I felt like I would break down in front of Demir and Meeran, and that is just something I didn't want. My emotions were unstable, but I didn't want Meeran to catch on to that weakness. She seemed so fancy...so regal. I couldn't have Demir comparing my flaws with her charm.
Soon, as the tea water started boiling, I moved to grab the electronic kettle. My heart...it had this annoying habit of trying to please those who made it feel inferior and insecure; it was its way of trying to redeem its worth. So, after I was done pouring tea water into the kettle, I moved to grab my favourite trolley from the side-kitchen cupboard. This was my vulnerable side acting out...my broken emotions making me turn into a people-pleaser.
"Maya," Demir now called out to me, his feet stepping inside the kitchen. I was busy setting the kettle on the trolley, keeping my back towards the kitchen door.
"What is going on? Where is the kitchen staff?" he spoke confused, stepping closer. I quickly straightened up, wiping residues of tears off my face.
"Oh, I sent them off early today," I turned towards him, faking a smile, but it came out to look so weak and shaky. My emotions...they really were unstable. It was long suppressed anxiety playing on my soul.
"Wait! You are preparing the tea for us?" he frowned, nearing the trolley. Thankfully, only the kitchen lamp was lit at the moment, or else the trail of some of the left-behind-tears would surely alert Demir.
"Yes," I meekly spoke, cringing as my voice depicted vulnerability. His ears immediately picked that.
"What the heck! Have you been crying? What's wrong?" he spoke anxiously, his voice filled with alarm and deep concern. It warmed me to see him act this way.
"I am fine. Nothing is wrong," I softly mused, tenderly smiling.
He raised one eyebrow in a stern eyebrow. "No, something is wrong. Tell me the truth, and why aren't you wearing the ring I gave you?" he mused, making me shake my head.
"Everything is fine," I lightly chuckled, moving to grab the trolley handle. "Just go outside. I will get the tea for you and our wonderful guest." I couldn't help but sound bitter when I said. Demir immediately caught on that. I hadn't really meant to sound malicious or mean. It was like my emotions were really messing up with my heart. It was infuriating.
"Okay, I know what's going on," he slightly smirked, expressions turned amused and knowing.
"What?" I feigned complete ignorance, nervously pushing a lock of hair behind my ear. My gaze desperately fought against revealing my secret. He simply shook his head in a bemused manner and suppressed a huge smile.
"Nothing," he slightly laughed, looking so strangely happy. "But let me assure me it's not how you think it is. Now come on," he grabbed the trolley handle from me. "You are going to have tea with me and our wonderful guest," he chuckled, stressing on 'wonderful' to tease me. I scowled in embarrassment.
Oh, he so did know what was going on.
Slowly smiling at my husband's antics, I then had him lead us out of the kitchen. He seemed in such a good mood that my heart couldn't help but feel healed.
A/N: Thank you so much for reading, commenting, sharing and...waiting. It truly means a lot.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Don't forget to vote and share.
What do you think? Leave in the comments what you think is going to happen next. Your comments are mean a lot.
Also, what do you think is going on with Demir? Is he going to leave Maya because Meeran-the girl who made him grieve for such a long time-is back
A lot to come in the next chapter. Be ready, and apologies for the late update. I will try to update the next chapter as soon as possible.
HAVE AN AWESOME...SUPER-DUPER DAY!
(ALSO: I know Maya is acting quite weak right now, but trust me she is really going to change.)