The weekend passed too quickly for my liking, and I was dreading going to school on Monday. There was no doubt that what happened at the party had been spread through the entire school and I didn't want to be the centre of attention, especially in my second week at school. I had been avoiding my mum all weekend, knowing that if she saw what had happened to me she would never let me out of her sight again. I partially blamed myself for what had happened at the party - if I didn't get so drunk it probably would've never happened. On Monday morning I woke up at five thirty I'm the morning, needing more time than usual to get ready for school. I showered and washed my long hair, still scrubbing at my skin to get the feeling of dirtiness off me. I felt tainted, even though he didn't get as far as he wanted. I felt used, damaged. I felt horrible. I left my hair down, hoping to hide the scar that was forming on my neck. I attempted to cover it with makeup, but it was useless. The purple mark was still visible under copious layers of foundation and concealer, and I eventually just gave up. I used concealer to hide the bruises on my wrists, piling bracelets onto each arm in hopes to distract them even more.
One thing that makeup definitely couldn't hide was the fact that I hadn't slept. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and the dark circles under my eyes were visible under my makeup. I kept crying, thinking of what could've happened if I hadn't managed to get him off me. What could've happened if he had gotten what he wanted.
I got off the bus at school, thanking the bus driver quietly. I walked aimlessly around the school before pulling out my timetable to check what my first lesson was. Music. My heart rate instantly increased and I started to hyperventilate. I could feel a panic attack setting in and I was standing in the middle of the school playground, surrounded by strangers. My eyes welled with tears and I began to shake. I couldn't handle seeing Luke. Not yet. Not ever.
An arm grabbed me, pulling me to the girls bathrooms. I didn't fight it. It felt soft, warm, friendly. I was in no state to question anything and I was gasping for air. I couldn't breathe as my panic attack was taking over my body in full force. I was forced into a cubicle and sat down on the toilet. The person knelt down in front of me, grabbing my face in their soft hands. My eyes were glazed over, my anxiety prohibiting me from seeing anything that was going on right now.
"Ash, breathe..." the calm voice said. It was Bailey.
Her voice was soothing and I instantly felt air fill my lungs as my breathing eased. She held my hands tightly, stroking her thumb against mine as I calmed down from my panic attack.
"Music..." I managed to say, a tear falling from my eye as I shook with terror.
"Trust me, he won't be in school today," she told me.
"How do you - ?" I asked, but she cut me off.
"Just trust me, he won't be here for a while," she replied. I looked down at her hands holding mine, and saw her knuckles were bruised and busted, one hand wrapped in a bandage. I remembered what Mollie had said about Bailey punching Luke in the face and I decided I didn't want to know anything else.
"Your hand..." I whispered, taking it in mine and examining it. She flinched slightly as I held it.
"It's nothing, you should see his face," Bailey said with a dry smile.
I brushed my fingers lightly over the bandage, my wrists still aching from Saturday nights events.
"Are you okay?" Bailey asked me.
"I don't know..." I confessed to her, not looking into her eyes. My breathing had returned to normal and I had stopped shaking, my hands continuing to hold hers steadily. The bell rang and I jumped, scared by the sudden noise.
"Go to music Ash, he won't be there. I'll see you in Modern," Bailey said, standing up from in front of me and walking out.
Music wasn't as terrible as I had expected it to be. I assumed that a lot of people wouldn't like me after Saturday nights events, but I was wrong. Everyone seemed so concerned for my wellbeing, asking me if I was okay. I was worried that people would hate me for causing drama with the most popular guy in our grade. I spent the lesson composing a new song that I had started to write back in Adelaide. My wrists ached but I carried on, not wanting to bring more attention to myself.
At recess I sat with the girls. My stomach was churning from stress and I wasn't able to eat. The girls tried to act casually but their worried glances ruined their cover.
"Seriously guys, I'm okay. Luke isn't here today. I think Bailey really hurt him," I told them, giving them what I hoped was a reassuring smile.
"She was really laying into him Asha, I've never seen her so angry before. And believe me, I've seen her in some moods. We grew up on the same street so I've known her forever, and not once have I seen her react like that," Mollie told me. It felt as if a fire inside me had ignited, one that I thought Luke had extinguished forever. The fact that Bailey so willingly did that for me... what did that mean?
The bell rang, snapping me out of my thoughts. It was time for Modern History and I smiled knowing that I would be seeing Bailey again. I walked into the classroom and sat down at our desk, Bailey coming in shortly after. She pulled out the chair with her 'less injured' hand, and sat down next to me. The teacher began the lesson straight away, not giving us a chance to talk.
"Now, I want you to write down these notes please!" the teacher called out.
"Uh...Miss?" Bailey spoke suddenly, raising her injured hand, "I can't really write, I broke my hand..."
What? She broke her hand? Fuck, now I felt terrible.
"Asha, will you please rewrite the notes for Miss Lancaster when you're done?" the teacher requested simply before turning back to the board. I grabbed Bailey's book and slid it onto my side of the desk.
"It's broken?" I hissed in a whisper, "Why didn't you tell me!?"
"Because I knew you'd react like this," Bailey replied casually.
"Bailey, you didn't need to do that for me..." I whispered.
Bailey sighed, running her other hand through her hair.
"Yes, I did. I wasn't going to let him get away with that. I can't stand the thought of him hurting anyone, especially you..." she said. She closed her mouth suddenly after she finished talking and looked toward the board, as if she regretted what she had said.
"Especially me?" I wondered, looking at her curiously. Baileys eyes met mine briefly before flicking back to the board.
"Yeah, you know. You're new. You're vulnerable," Bailey muttered. My heart sank. I thought for a moment that she could've possibly had a soft spot for me, like I did for her. I wasn't sure what it was about her, but something made me want to get to know her. To spend time with her.
"Right, yeah..." I mumbled, going back to writing the notes in her workbook.
We remained silent, Bailey tapping her pencil on the desk as I continued to write. The silence wasn't awkward, but it wasn't comfortable either. There were so many things that I wanted to say but didn't know how. Before I knew it, words were spilling out of my mouth again.
"Um, thank you. For this morning, I mean..." I said awkwardly, hoping Bailey couldn't sense my embarrassment.
"It's okay, I understand. What happened on Saturday was fucked. You'd be crazy if you weren't affected..." Bailey said. I could feel her gaze on me but I refused to meet it.
"And I'm really sorry about what happened to your hand. I can pay for any medical expenses or - ," I began, but Bailey cut me off.
"Ash, don't be ridiculous. This isn't your fault. Not at all. So stop blaming yourself," Bailey said, almost....angrily? I muttered an apology, turning away from her nervously. I heard her sigh beside me, placing her hand on my wrist gently.
"Ash, please. It's okay. I'm just happy you're okay. Please stop worrying," she said. I could tell she didn't comfort people often as she looked way out of her element. She didn't exactly seem uncomfortable, but it seemed like the words felt foreign coming out of her mouth.
I gave her a grateful smile, finishing up the notes in her workbook before starting on my own. I wrote in silence until the teacher broke it once again, giving us our new assignment.
"Okay class, I'm handing out your assignment. It is worth 40% of your grade and you will be doing it in pairs. Now I don't want any scrambling and drama, so you'll be doing your assignment with the person sitting next to you..." the teacher said.
A few groans were heard throughout the classroom, but I didn't join in. I looked up at Bailey and saw she was already looking back at me, a smirk playing on her lips.
"Well, I hope you're good at Modern History...partner!" she chuckled, winking as she did so. My heart skipped a beat, her wink almost sending me into a frenzy. This girl was truly something else.
The teacher walked through the desks handing out the assignment sheet. She got to our table, dropping two pieces of paper in front of us. My stomach flipped, seeing the heading of the assignment.
'The Resistance'
The assignment directed us to identify three members of The Resistance against The Third Reich, research them, write an essay and give a presentation. This was something that I had practically done in my spare time and Bailey could sense my excitement.
"You seem a bit too happy seeing as we just got a huge assignment on a significantly morbid subject," she said curiously.
"Sorry, it's just...this is something I'm really interested in. I have so many books on the resistance, I could probably do this assignment in my sleep!" I gushed excitedly.
"Geez, I'm glad my last name is Lancaster, Lawrence..." she said with a laugh.
The teacher allowed us to discuss our assignment for the rest of the lesson, so Bailey and I organised to catch up after school that afternoon to work on it.
"We should probably go to my house...since I have all the books," I told her, and she nodded in agreement.
"Where do you live?" she asked me.
"Winterberry Lane, in Chadstone," I told her.
"No shit, really? My ex lived on that street," she said. A pang of jealousy surged through my body. Why? I didn't have feelings for her. What was going on with me.
"Oh, cool..." I responded. I didn't really know what else to say.
"Yeah, she was a real bitch though, glad she's gone honestly..." Bailey replied, spinning her pen around in her hand. I didn't reply, not knowing what to say. I felt like she was waiting for me to respond, but I never did, which left us in silence. When the bell rang I helped Bailey pack her things into her bag. We walked out of the classroom together and I pulled out my timetable, still not one hundred perfect familiar with my lesson schedule.
"Ugh, maths..." I sighed. Maths was my least favourite subject, and it didn't help that the teacher was a real bore.
"My condolences," Bailey laughed. "Meet me in the car park after school, we can ride to yours together!"
She winked at me again before walking off in the opposite direction, and I couldn't help but smile to myself. I was happy that Bailey and I were getting to know each other, and I hoped that our relationship continued to grow.