Chapter song: Cowboy in LA- LANY
"Kenny do you miss him." Livi snuck up behind me yanking on my shirt. I gave her a curious look but she just pointed across the room. "Because I miss him," she sighed dramatically.
Standing there amongst the chaos was Cal. In a plaid button-down with a beanie hiding his nappy curls. He was so caught up in the conversation he was having with the boys I didn't even think he had noticed us looking at him.
Part of my heart ached in a way as I looked at him. I couldn't help but try to figure out why.
Maybe because there was still something there between us that we haven't quite figured out yet. We may have talked things out but we decided on being just friends which was going surprisingly well. But there was still some part of me that aches every time I looked at him.
I wasn't over him. I don't think I'd ever be.
Tish likes to tell me that as a teenager we feel all our emotions ten times the normal amount. I hoped that she was right about it. Because then I'd be able to move past it.
I know during Halloween he said he couldn't be just friends with me, but we decided that friends were better than nothing. After all, he still had to prove that he could be honest, and I had to get over it. It was just complicated.
"Yeah but Livi he's still here," I sighed. "It's Cal he's always here. Besides he takes you for ice cream every time you ask."
"Yeah but it's different now. You're still sad," she rolled her eyes. "Plus he's always here with Liam again. He doesn't hang out with us anymore."
I couldn't help but laugh at her. She was so dramatic. It was true though about him being with Liam all the time. We didn't really hang out any more of course. Which meant he didn't see Livi as much as he used to.
"I am not sad." I gave her a nudge trying to brush it off.
"Whatever. Lie all you want Kenny I see right through it," she squinted at me. It was hard to keep a straight face.
We were still friends though. All of us hung out. We had a better understanding of each other after the weekend that was supposed to be the cabin. But it didn't mean that things still didn't suck at times.
"I'm sure if you asked him he would come over Liv. You know you're still his favorite," I smiled at her brushing a stray hair from her face.
"Really," she squealed. Her eyes lit up at the thought.
"There are my girls," my dad sighed happily wrapping his arms around us.
We both called him out on having a total dad move but hugged him back anyways. I gave them both a tight squeeze enjoying the moment.
"Uh excuse me are we having a father-daughter moment without me," Riley scoffed.
"Get in here goof," my dad smiled at her as I pulled her in. I loved that she was put, honorary family member.
We all stayed together until Liam and the guys came to dog-pile on all of us. Somehow we all ended up in a pile on top of the couch. Liv was squealing in delight because Mason and Liam began to tickle her while our dad held her down.
Riley and I were squished together against Cal and Ty who were holding us by our waists trying to tickle us.
I think Tish had rushed over with the camera but I couldn't tell for sure since there was so much going on. After a lot of begging and promising the guys pizza one night, they finally got off of us.
"Oh my god, what does coach feed you," Riley grumbled adjusting her outfit. I tried to tame my curls which didn't take much work since I had cut my hair.
"Oh c'mon Daniels you act like you can't eat as much pizza as I can," Cal taunted her.
"Whoever can't eat their weight in pizza are weak ducks," she crossed her arms.
"Weak ducks?" I rolled my eyes at her.
She was about to protest but Liam came over to us saying dad was letting us build a fire for everyone outside. That meant that the adults and kids could stay inside while we got time to hang out with everyone. I couldn't be mad about that.
"I'll go grab some stuff for s' mores," I told him already turning towards the kitchen.
As I was rummaging through the cabinets I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't bother turning around until I had a handful of goodies to shove in their arms. When I finally looked up I was a bit surprised to see who's arms got all the food.
"Surprised?" Ty's bright smile greeted me.
"Uh- a little. What's up?" I asked casually.
"I just wanted to say that I was sorry for everything last year."
"Okay." I nodded.
"I was an asshole and I really just wanted to see if he would actually do it. We all knew he had a thing for you. I just didn't think you actually liked him back," he admitted.
"Are you serious," I snorted.
"Yeah. But listen I'm sorry I didn't think it would actually have gotten that far. I also thought you figured it out."
"Well I didn't. I was in the dark the whole time," I pointed out with a glare. "Besides isn't this apology a little late?"
"Yeah, but it finally got both of you guys to admire your feelings for each other and for Liam to accept it". He shoved his hands into his pockets. "I figured I'd give you some time to get your feelings together. I didn't feel like getting punched in the face again." He tried to give me his usual Tyler grin.
"I guess you're right," I admitted uncomfortably. "Let's just drop it yeah?" I ushered him out towards the backyard to meet everyone.
"Yeah," he nodded. "Okay."
He was right, we did admit our feelings for each other. Even if it got ridiculously messy it happened and there was no going back.
Hayden caught my eye and gave me a small smile. Riley was leaning in close to him. They seemed all snuggly.
"What do you guys know?"
"Nothing at all," Riley cooed. She bit her lip as she did when she was always excited.
"You remember my date? His name is Wes. We've been on a few dates," Hayden shrugged.
"Why didn't you tell me," I swatted Hayden and glared at Riley.
"It's just a few dates but it's been fun so far," Hayden said.
"But he was telling me that Wes is also going to NYU," Riley grinned wickedly at me.
"Wait does that mean you heard from NYU?" I asked excitedly.
I watched as she but her lip some more and nodded up and down like a child. We began screaming and jumping around like a pair of crazy girls. I hugged her and hugged her until I finally realized she was going to be leaving.
"Wait, I just realized something," I said pulling away.
"What," she laughed wiping happy tears away.
"This is it," I looked around at everyone. I even looked at Natalie. "We only have a few months left with everyone before we all go."
"Yeah, but we'll be back Kenny. It's not the end for all of us," she assured me grabbing my hand.
" I know but I guess getting our acceptance letters and stuff finally is starting to make everything real," I sighed. My shoulders felt heavy all of a sudden.
"Have you heard back from Columbia," she asked. I shook my head towards her.
"Not until January, but I'm not too worried," I gave her a small smile.
The real application I was waiting on was something I was going to tell her tonight when everyone went home. I had told Liam earlier this week.
It was an abroad application to help get clean water in other countries. I would go for a year or more if I wanted.
If I didn't get into Columbia I was going to do this. Go for a year and come back and go to the University of Virginia. My dad was on board with it so now it was just a waiting game.
I didn't want to tell all of our friends yet because I wasn't sure if it was even going to happen. I didn't want to cause panic or any more questions I wasn't prepared to answer. Enjoying the moment with them was more important.
We all sat around the fire. I was between Riley and Mason. Across from me was Cal who kept making faces at me every so often. Natalie was trying to cuddle next to him but he was oblivious. Most guys were.
I couldn't help but smile at everyone. We were all eating s' mores. Throwing marshmallows back and forth. Mason kept trying to poke everyone with his hot stick. It was times like this that made me realize how good of people I had with me. How these were going to be the memories that mattered.
Liam kept looking towards Riley and Hayden's direction and rolling his eyes or scoffing. I sat there trying to figure out what was going on with him. Hayden hadn't done anything wrong at least from what I knew. He was acting so weird lately.
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