Erwin woke up the next morning, naked and alone. For a few seconds, it felt like he woke up from a dream, a beautiful dream where Aura was someone his subconscious had concocted to make up for his loneliness. He gave it a little while, rubbing his eyes, thinking about the beautiful night they just spent in each other's arms.
This had happened before. He had often woken up thinking his entire life was a dream. The frequency of such mornings had increased when they had been apart for the first time.
Aura's father had developed a psychological condition where he kept forgetting basic things about himself and the people around him. Even though she hated to do it, Lena had begged her daughter to come back and help.
Both their hearts were broken as she packed her stuff and moved back to Ehrmich. The night Erwin returned after helping her move, he could not sleep. His bed felt larger than usual, colder without Aura's warmth, his room was unhappy, his office was messy, his spirits were shattered on the floor. In less than a week, he had an expedition; he knew he had to pull himself together. He had dozed off around dawn and woken up in a couple of hours, his arm searching for his lover by his side.
When he couldn't find her, a loud twitch of remorse had hit his chest, telling him he had dreamt it all. He had rushed to his drawer to find the portrait of them Aura had convinced him to get made. The artist, Anne Sulee, was really talented. She had captured in the portrait, one particular moment when Erwin had made Aura laugh with a joke and looked adoringly at her laughing. He had held that picture to his thumping heart and sighed.
This morning, he found a note that confirmed his reality. It said,
"Hey, Commander Cinnamon Roll,
you looked so peaceful and gorgeous sleeping, that I couldn't wake you up. I have to go, collect Eren's CSF while being faced with Mikasa's raging eyes. I hope to be done before long, and I'll see you for breakfast.
~ Mrs. Smith
PS: DO NOT SHAVE."
Aura was down at the clinic, with Sherridan and Hange, preparing for Eren's spinal tap. Eren sat on the bed, in his hospital drapes, his knees close to his chest. Mikasa and Armin were there too.
"Eren," Mikasa addressed him, trying one last time to change his mind, "you can still back out. You don't have to do this." Aura was ready with the anaesthetic, and she stopped midair. She was so close to losing her calm, she was actually calm.
Sherridan could sense the palpable build-up of rage within her and chose to speak to Mikasa.
"Mikasa," she said, "it's alright. It's not really gonna paralyze Eren for the rest of his life or something. He'll be lying here for a couple of hours and then he'll be good to go. And, if Armin and you don't mind, I think it's better if Eren is alone here."
"I'm sorry, Doctor, I'm not gonna leave him alone."
"It's okay," Aura interrupted, "stay, but please don't interrupt. We need Eren to be calm during the procedure."
Eren did not reply to any of the conversation, and only waited for either of the doctors to address him. "Hey, Eren," Aura finally did, "I need you to maintain the same posture and lie down, on your side. Facing away from me. Yeah, good! You can speak to us, darling, if you want. Just nothing very exciting."
"How did you know my father?" he asked Aura, in a soft voice. She touched his lower back to assess the positions of his vertebrae. The Iodine tincture had already marked the septicized area, but she touched again just to be careful.
Aiming the needle of the anaesthetic at the desired position, she said, "I met him a long, long time ago. You should have been very young when I did.." "Gaahhh.." Eren winced in pain as she pushed in the needle.
"Eren!" Mikasa cried out too, "are you okay?"
"That's the only thing that's gonna hurt, Eren," Hange spoke to the boy. The seniors completely ignored Mikasa now. And, Armin did not even speak. He stood behind his friend and watched the procedure being performed.
"It was about 10 years ago," Aura continued speaking to Eren, "the Survey Corps were returning from an expedition and I wanted to visit them.."
Hange fake-coughed. "..to tell Erwin I love him.."
"Tch," Aura looked back at her friend, "so I went there, for.. whatever reason. And Dr. Jaeger was appointed for that night to provide them with any emergency care they needed. I met with him and spoke with him. He even asked us to visit your house, but the army was in a hurry to come back to the Colonith base. So I told him I'll visit the next time I'm in Shiganshina. However, I never really went there again in all these years."
"So you don't really know him?" Eren asked.
"Well, I did send him a couple of letters when my father got sick, and he replied, stating his opinions about the case. They stopped after the breach in Wall Maria, of course."
"Exactly. Where did he go?"
Aura looked up to meet Armin's eyes. They had the same angst in them as they had the day of the coronation. They still had not told Eren, and he seemed to be too dumb to figure it out himself. "Oh boy! That's a conversation for a different day," she said, tapping on his shoulder, "turn around and lay on your back now. You'll have to be like this for a few hours."
"Wait, it's done?" Eren looked at Hange for affirmation. She nodded. He looked at the doctors and saw them containing a colorless fluid in a jar. "I didn't even feel a thing," he said, looking at Mikasa, "see, I didn't even feel a thing."
"Okay, Eren," Aura spoke to him again, "you'll have to be like this until either of the three of us tell you otherwise. No training for you today, I'll speak to the Captain myself. And, drink lots of water. I'll go downstairs and send you a nice glass of milkshake, okay? Which flavor do you prefer?"
"Milkshake?" the boy looked at her dumbfounded.
"They're from Shiganshina," Hange reminded her, "they've never had milkshake, honey."
"Oh! And you've never given them any here either? Your seniors are so selfish, kids! You know what, I'll get milkshake for everyone today."
"Honey," Hange tried to bring her back to reality, "Erwin.. funds!"
"Erwin doesn't have to worry about it," she said, washing her hands, "it's on me."
She left, humming a tune, suddenly in a good mood. "Did you see that mood swing?" Hange asked Sherridan, "from pissed to focused to benevolent in 15 minutes. Huhh.. maybe she's gonna get her period soon. Armin, Mikasa..?" Something came over Sherridan, and she followed Aura out too, leaving Hange in the middle of her dialogue.
"Hey, Aura," she chased her in the hallway, "wait up."
"Hi, what's up, love?" Aura stopped on her quest to buying milkshake for everyone. "Are you okay?" her new friend asked, looking at her with concern in her eyes.
"Yeah," she smiled back, "why?"
"Nothing. Just.. umm.. do you mind if I chip in for the milkshakes? I mean.. it's not something you should get for everyone by yourself. And.. umm.. I'd also like to share the pet project, if that's okay with you?"
"Honey, it's okay. I can get it."
"I know you can. But, I'd love to help. Plus, with the wedding coming up and everything, you'll have a lot of spending anyway. Please.."
"Tch, okay," Aura surrendered, "you can chip in for the milkshakes. I don't even know why I'm getting it. I just felt like the kids should know what milkshake is, right?"
"Yes, yes," Sherridan squeezed her shoulder as she looked like she was about to cry, "are you supposed to get your period in a few days? Cause.. oh my God.. hormones!"
"I think so, yeah! Let's go, treat everyone.. for no reason at all."
A few mornings later, Aura and Sherridan were to travel to Ehrmich and Mitras to meet a few scientists and gather equipments for their project.
"I'm gonna miss you," he had told her as they lay in bed that night, sprawled, spent from all the lovemaking. "I'll be back within 3 days, gummy bear," she had replied, taking his face in her hands adoringly. She had kissed the top of his head as he rested it against her chest. "Yeah, 3 whole days," he said, and kissed her chest.
"Hey," he suddenly exclaimed, touching the top of her breast with his hand, "where did my hickey go?" "What?" Aura laughed out.
"I remember putting one here," he smoothed over the part he had nibbled a couple of nights ago.
"Oh, that one?" Aura remembered, "it was just a teethy gouge, honey. It healed."
"Oh, maybe I'll put another one tonight?" He smirked at her, but she shut him down.
"It's better not to, don't you think? With all these kids around, it's better not to wear marks of our personal lives in front of them. Isn't that right, Erwin?" "Well, it's not wrong," he got convinced easily.
"I'll miss you," Levi muttered the words to Sherridan just before giving her a coy yet warm hug in front of their friends. The blush on his face was evident of the fact that this was the first time he had put up his feelings for her before other people.
"I'll miss you too," Sherridan replied, her fair cheeks turning completely red in a second. Aura gave Erwin a polite kiss before following her into the carriage. "Bye," Hange waved as the carriage left, "get all the nice microscopes." "Don't spend all your money," Erwin added, making Aura look out of the window and smile.
They returned a couple of days later than they were supposed to. The carriage that brought them back was full of boxes and cartons of many different things. Aura and Sherridan had bought two of the most developed microscopes of the time, one of which had a prototype light bulb fixed at the bottom for visual aid.
"Mr. Edison is still not confident about it though," Sherridan told Hange, "he said it may break if the current passed through the wire is more than necessary. He said he'd reimburse us if that happens. That's a good thing, right?"
She looked up at the gate of the central building and smiled, as she saw Levi coming out of it. He looked like he was initially running, but then slowed down because of the presence of other people.
Hange saw that too and decided to leave them alone for a while. "I'll go, help Aura," she said and walked up to her other friend.
She was standing in front of the carriage as a few recruits helped her by carrying the boxes inside. She meticulously ticked off a chart as the boxes went one by one, until there wasn't any left.
"Where's Erwin?" she asked Hange as she took her purse out to pay the chaffeur. "Historia is here," she was informed, "or should I say, the Queen! And, Commanders Pixis and Zachly. They're finalizing the Shiganshina Expedition dates and funds and, if there's any requirement for conscription."
"Conscription?" Aura was shocked.
"Erwin is going to deny the offer. There's enough of us for now. I.. umm.. well, Levi and I wanted to join and ask the seniors to ask Erwin to stay back. Apparently, that's not a good idea. What do you think?"
"Hange, he should go. If he doesn't, no matter what becomes of the expedition, he'll spend the rest of his life regretting. If you fail, he'll blame it on his absence. If you succeed, he'll wonder how it'd have felt to see Greisha's cellar for himself. He should go."
Hange's mouth zipped at the response. She was hoping Aura would want to convince the Commander to stay back. "Also, Han, you'll need him on the field," she continued, "how can you even think of an expedition without him guiding your every step? Hange, I know you can do it too. But, Erwin is exceptional. You know that."
"What if something happens to him? What if he.. he.. dies?"
Aura smiled at the ground. It was not a happy smile, or a proud smile. "I've lived long enough with this man to know that anything could happen to him at any point of time. He's in a room with three people now - people that everyone trusts. One of them could be a latent enemy of his and none of us will know. But, he will. That's the reason why he's exceptional. He'll know what to do. I trust him to make the right decision when the time comes. And, he's a soldier. If he thinks that.. for the greater picture.. he needs to.."
Before she could finish the sentence, Aura's entire body quivered with a wave of anti-peristalsis. Hange was completely taken aback, but quickly gained composure and held her hair back as she barfed on the street just outside the gates.
"What the fuck?" Levi and Sherridan had come and stood behind them as Aura continued to throw up. Sherridan rubbed her back as she finally recovered. "God, it's probably the ham sandwich from morning," she stood up, cleaning her face with a handkerchief, "I need to go clean up and change. I'll see you guys later."
"Hey, guys," Sherridan spoke to Levi and Hange as they stood perplexed, watching Aura leave, "don't tell anyone this - especially not Erwin - but I think she's pregnant." "Are you sure?" Hange asked, "it could be PMS?"
"Well, her expected period is still a week away. That's what she told me. Let's see."
"You'll keep me updated on this matter, right?" Levi looked at them coldly, "I'd like to know what's up." Having said that, he put his hands in his pockets, turned and left.
Aura washed her face and hands in the doctor's chamber and quietly went upstairs. She was still dazed from throwing up and she was not satisfied with the conclusion she came up with. She had had that ham sandwich for her entire life, and never had she faced an aversion towards it. She did not quite understand what caused the digestive breakdown.
The boxes she brought from the scientists were all in the lab, and the two she brought from home were outside Erwin's quarters. She took a look at them and gathered that the meeting was yet to be adjourned. She waited outside, pacing up and down the corridor with a book in her hand. Three pages down, she started feeling queasy again. She leaned against the wall and tried to calm herself down.
"Dr. Tubrey?" a faint voice shook her back to complete consciousness, "doctor, are you okay?" She opened her eyes to see Eren, concern etched on his face. "Hey, Eren," she greeted him, her voice still slurry and exhausted, "yeah, I'm fine. How are you doing? So sorry both Sherridan and I left. Did you face any problems afterwards? Was Hange there for you?"
"Don't worry, ma'am. I was fine. I had a slight headache once, but it was gone in a few hours. Are you sure you're fine? You don't look very fine."
"Yes, I am," Aura smiled at him, "just a little bit tired, maybe. What are you doing here?"
"I came to see Historia before she left."
As soon as Eren finished his sentence, the door to Erwin's office opened up. Out came Commanders Pixis and Zachly, followed by the young Queen Historia. "Historia," Eren called out, happy to see his friend again.
The attention of the trio was shifted to them and the old men seemed happy to see Aura. As Eren spoke to Historia, they came up to speak to her. "Congratulations, Aura," Pixis produced a hand to shake, but took her in a surprise embrace instead.
"We saw the ring," Darius Zackly said to her, "good choice, but are you sure you wouldn't have preferred a cock ring instead?"
"Darius!" Pixis let go of Aura and looked at his colleague in horror.
"Haha," he covered up, "I'm just kidding."
"No problem, Sir," Aura smiled politely at him, trying too hard to not laugh out, "and, thank you."
"Congratulations, Dr. Tubrey," Historia came up from behind them and beamed at her, "have you decided a date yet? What about a venue? Would you like the Royal Hall for the wedding? I could arrange that for you."
"Your Majesty.." Aura tried to keep her from overwhelming further, "Historia, thank you for the idea. But.. umm.. Erwin and I haven't decided anything yet. And, we have to take care of the budget too."
"I see there's another meeting here," they heard Erwin's voice before he came up from behind everyone and stood beside Aura. Aura's eyes widened at the sight of him. His facial hair had grown and just like she had asked, he hadn't shaved. His face looked full and nourished for a change and she couldn't help but smile at the sight.
"Commander," Eren addressed him, saluting, "Historia was just suggesting that you make use of the Royal Hall for your wedding."
"Yes, Erwin," Pixis joined in, looking at the Commander-in-chief for an agreement, "and we think it's a great idea."
"Umm.." Erwin hesitated and looked at Aura, trying to understand what she wanted, "we'll have to discuss about it. We don't know how much we can spend for a day."
"Oh, Commander," the Queen interrupted, "you don't have to book the hall or anything. You can just use it. The staff will decorate it too. Trust me, the guests would love it."
"That is it, Historia. We may not have enough guests to fill up the entire hall," Erwin smiled awkwardly.
"You're not inviting the entire Survey Corps?"
"The.. umm.." Erwin felt awkward, "we were hoping to have a small ceremony with our closest friends and family only. Right?" He looked at Aura, seeking for an agreement. She had been weirdly quiet for the entire time. "But.." she finally spoke, "what if the people we don't invite end up feeling dejected?"
Erwin's eyebrows elevated at her response. "Maybe we should talk about this later?" he said, questioning, trying to avoid the crowd in front of them. Pixis sensed his commotion and decided to lead the rest away.
"Hey, Eren," Erwin called the cadet as the rest walked away, "do you mind helping with the boxes, son?" "Yes, Sir," he exclaimed.
As he took the first box in, the young boy noticed his superior and the doctor sitting opposite to each other at the table, speaking. "Do you really want to invite everyone, honey?" he overheard Erwin. "No, no," she said, "I don't know what came over me back there. We should deduce the costs before deciding on anything. Eren, come here once."
Eren was about to leave after putting the boxes inside, when she stopped him. He went over to her and she took out a small packet of candies and handed it to him. "Have some," she smiled at him, "and, make sure to share it with your friends, okay?"
"What is up with you?" Erwin giggled at her after Eren left. "PMS," she stated as she got up to leave, "I'm a little tired. I think I'll take a nap. Can you wake me up in an hour, Erwin?" He nodded, looking very concerned about her.
The next several days were spent in agonizing work. Erwin spent his days perfecting his previously drawn strategies and coming up with new plans, and his evenings missing Aura. She, on the other hand, spent her entire day in the lab with Sherridan.
They worked hard on the cells of the spinal fluid collected from Eren, and subjecting them to the action of different enzymes for them to proliferate outside their natural habitat. Aura sometimes stayed at the lab for the entire night, observing the cell cultures. Erwin knew she liked being left alone when she worked, and did so. She even asked Sherridan and Hange to leave on some nights.
The next morning, however, the yield was somehow doubled and that convinced everyone that Aura worked better when she worked alone.
When she showed no signs of menstruation by the end of the next week, Sherridan was sure that her friend was pregnant. She wanted to tell her to not work so hard and she wanted to congratulate the Commander. But, something told her that Aura did not want that. She was a doctor herself, of course she knew what was going on with her own body.
One night, even though she was forbidden to go to the lab, she was compelled to. She had left her reading glasses there, and her nighttime reading would have been hindered without them. She regularly slept in Levi's room now, and she preferred reading her books after the love of her life had fallen asleep.
That night, she took a lone candlestand and proceeded towards the lab. Carefully, she treaded down the staircase. Levi's room was on the same floor as Erwin's, two floors above the lab and the infirmary. She had often heard myths from the nurses about peaceless souls of dead soldiers wandering in the corridors at night.
And although she never believed them, as she walked through the ground floor hallway, a sense of scare gripped her breath at her throat, sending chills through her bones, down her spine. An eerie company seemed to walk beside her as she proceeded. She shuddered the thought away as she finally reached the door to the lab.
She knocked on it once; she knew simply walking in on a busy Aura wasn't a good idea. When there was no response, she knocked again. After her third knock didn't work, she decided to walk in. The door squeaked with her push and she was thrown into the little science studio she had created with her friends.
But, Aura was nowhere in sight. Sherridan put down her candle and looked around. Aura was nowhere in the room, she was sure of it. The sedimentor had samples loaded and left inside, and it was unusual of her to do so.
"Maybe she went to the washroom?" Sherridan thought to herself. She decided she'll wait for a while. She grabbed her glasses from where she had left them and checked up on the records they have been maintaining for the last 10 days. In such a short period of time, they had come a long way with the experiments they were originally dubious about.
They had almost mass-produced the spinal fluid collected from Eren, and she could only thank the architect of the experiments for their success. Aura had worked tirelessly, day and night, in the hopes of finding a means to return her fiance his arm.
When it was longer than what it should have taken Aura to come back from the washroom, Sherridan was confused. Debating about where Aura could be, she picked up her candle again and walked out of the lab.
Something came over her and she walked into the doctor's chamber. She was only setting the candle down again, planning on waiting for a little longer, when a sound startled her. With the windows shut tight, it could not have been the wind. The sounds of dragging in and pushing out were suggestive of the action of deep breathing, and Sherridan had already pinpointed the direction it was coming from.
She almost dropped the lit candle when she saw the origin of the sound. She entered the treatment ward and there she was. Sleeping peacefully on her back, Aura was on one of the hospital beds, draped in a gown similar to the one they made Eren wear a few days ago. For a moment, she wanted to laugh out, thinking that she was only taking a nap. But why would she change into hospital drapes for a nap? It struck her as odd as she walked up to her friend.
She was only about to touch Aura's forehead, and wake her up, when all the equipments on the nearby stand caught her attention. Gasping, she took a step backward. The same instruments and reagents that were used to extract Eren's spinal fluid were on the surface. Along with them, a small vial - the same kind of vial as the one they collected Eren's sample in - filled with a fluid was kept too. She picked it up and held it lose to her eyes. In the light of a single candle, it looked nothing peculiar.
But, the tendency towards a pinker hue verified that it was not of a normal human, but that of a Titan shifter.
Sherridan looked back at her resting friend, with eyebrows that had almost proceeded towards the back of her forehead. She could see a lot of dots in her head, that she could not quite connect properly.
What was that fluid? Who did it come from? Why was Aura in hospital drapes? Why did it look like her spinal fluid was extracted? But that couldn't be, it was Shifter CSF, she was sure of it. If it was really Shifter CSF, where did it come from? Questions kept whizzing through her mind as she stood there, trying to grasp the circumstances.
She finally concluded after a moment's restitution of composure that she could not possibly solve that mystery alone. She decided to go upstairs to Levi's room and come back with him.
"Levi," she woke him up, panting. She had rushed to their room from the ground floor, her heart pounding and her mind constantly trying to join the different dots she could see in front of herself. "Levi, wake up," she called him again, as he only shifted in bed. A little more nudging and he was up on the bed, looking at her with surprise. "What's up?" he asked.
"I really don't know," she replied, sitting down, still processing her thoughts.
He looked at her for a while, before choosing to fall back to bed.
"No no no," she stood up again, trying to wake him up, "wake up. Something's up, okay? Something's up. I just don't.. listen, I need you to come downstairs with me."
"Sherry, I'd like to go see the scientific unfolding of the mystery of Titans, by Aura and yourself. But please, not now."
"It's something else."
"You've formulated the medicine for regeneration? Great. I'll check it out tomorrow."
"Stop being a jerk, Ackerman! If it was so simple, I'd have dealt with it myself. It's a matter of serious concern and you'll come downstairs and help me deal with it. No! No more words! Get out of bed and let's get going." Sherridan had never sounded so serious before. It was hard to go back to sleep anymore. Levi looked at her with concerned eyes and decided to get out of bed finally.
When he saw what she had to show him, he knew of nothing he could say. "What do you think this means?" he asked her, seeking for an answer for the absurd questions arising in his head.
"This.. this spinal fluid.. is.. Aura's," Sherridan stammered as she tried to voice out her thoughts, "which means that.. she must be a.. a.. Shifter? Like Eren, Annie, Reiner and Bertholdt? And.. she had been using the spinal fluid from herself to increase the production of the cell culture?"
"Hmm.." Levi answered, his fingers twitching at his chin, "that.. should explain the puking, I guess. That's supposed to happen the morning after this.. this extraction procedure, right?"
"Yes, but I still strongly believe that she's pregnant too. And I'm sure she knows so too."
"Being a Titan doesn't..? Tsk.. it's weird to even say it. There has to be a different explanation, Sherry."
"Really? Can you come up with something else? Remember the time she brushed her arm against this pin and there was a large wound? Next morning, there was nothing. I thought it was weird, but I could never think of this as a possibility."
"Yeah, but I remember Reiner could hold off the healing process. Why didn't Aura just slow it down, just to make it believable to us? I know she's smart like that "
"I don't know. Maybe she didn't have the chance to concentrate on that. She's been working her ass off, you know. She's given this her everything."
"I know, but.."
They stopped speaking to each other as Aura shifted in her bed. As she looked like she was about to wake up, the two of them gathered at the foot of the bed to greet her.
Aura's eyes dilated and lips parted as she noticed the two of them there. For a while, they all looked at each other in silence until Levi broke it.
"Do you have an explanation?" he asked, "cause, we think we got one."
"Umm.." she stammered, "just don't.."
"Tell Erwin? Yeah yeah.. we'll wait for him to figure it out himself. It's funnier that way. Now, you tell me. What were you thinking hiding this from us?"
"I didn't plan on hiding this forever."
"That's great. So, when were you gonna tell us? After this huge battle was done with? At the age of 70, on your deathbed?"
Aura scoffed. Getting out of the bed, she said, "that's the thing, Levi. I'm never getting to 70."
"What do you mean?" Sherridan asked as her friend walked past her.
"You think being a Titan is glorious? I can fight as much, then heal up and fight again. That must be great in your eyes, huh?"
"Tsk.. just get to the point!"
"Well.. I became a Shifter only a few months ago, when my father died. He was the bearer of the power of the War Hammer Titan before me. But his 13-year tenure was over and thus the power needed to be passed on. I didn't want a random child to be burdened by it, so I took it up. Now it has limited my lifetime to 13 more years only."
"What are you saying?"
"Once you become a Titan Shifter, you have only 13 more years to live. Then you have to either pass it on to an heir, or it just transfers to a random child, I think. I'm not entirely sure about the mechanics of.. whatever this is. My father got his power from his elder brother, who got it from my grandfather. In my family, this power typically resides with the men. But since my brother died, there was no more male heir to become the next War Hammer Titan."
"Is that why your father completely flipped out when your brother died?" Levi asked.
"Yes."
"God! I remember how he went on and on about how you killed Aaron on purpose."
"He wasn't wrong."
Levi's eyes widened again, as he stood stunned. All this new information was too much for him to take. "God, I need a cigarette to process all this," he scoffed, shuffling through his pockets for one.
"Levi," Sherridan tried to stop him, "maybe not here."
Aura chuckled a little. "So, you've figured out that too, huh? I gotta say.. I underestimate you, Sherridan. I'm sorry."
"So, let me get this straight," Sherridan completely ignored the compliment, "you are now a Shifter. Like Eren. You inherited this from your father.. who wanted your brother to do so. Which is why, you killed your brother? Because you wanted to be the heir to the Titan?"
"No, honey, nobody wanted to be a Titan. Especially, not my brother. My father thought he was going to do him some favor by making him the next War Hammer Titan. But it wasn't going to be a favor, or a blessing, or whatever he thought it would be. My brother had told me he'd stage an accident on his way to meet me and begged me to not save him when he'd be brought in. It killed me, you know that, Levi!"
"Why couldn't he just say no?" Levi asked, running his fingers through his hair. He looked desperately exasperated.
"You've seen my father. He wasn't a man of reason. He never gave a fuck about what we wanted. I became a doctor on my own accord. When Aaron met Erwin and decided he wanted to join the Scouts, our father made sure he felt guilty for not fulfilling his wishes. He made sure I felt guilty for inspiring my little brother to do that. Aaron felt like he had nothing to live for," Aura broke down into tears and sat back down on the bed, "I had to help him. He was my little brother. I wanted to send him away, far away from Father. But he had his men all around the nation, who could bring him back in a couple of days. I didn't want to kill him."
"Aura, you didn't kill him," Levi came forward and put his hand on her shoulder, "he was dead when he was brought in."
"I'm not sure I can accept that as an excuse."
"Hange had checked his pulse before you got to him," he said, "he was dead. I can assure because I was there."
He stood outside for a while, when Aura decided to change into her clothes. Sherridan stayed with her, trying to comfort her. "So listen," she asked, "when are you gonna tell Erwin about all this?"
Aura hesitated. "I was.. umm.. hoping to keep it from him for as long as possible. I can't tell him I'm gonna die in 13 years now, can I?"
"No, I mean, about the pregnancy?"
"Oh," she hesitated again, "I don't know if I should. I don't want to hold him back from the mission."
"Seriously?" Sherridan asked, looking just as exasperated as her boyfriend was, "you two need to stop with all this altruistic crap, okay? If you're going to start a family, start it properly. Care about yourselves and the child that's gonna be here in a few months. Did you confirm it? I was waiting for you to come to me which is why I didn't ask."
"I didn't want anyone to know before the expedition," Aura produced her hand to touch her shoulder, "I wanted to come to you, and Hange. And I want to tell Erwin. But, I shouldn't. It will change his mind instantly. Levi already changed his mind about the wedding. I can't alter the man any further, okay?"
Sherridan sighed. "Okay, Aura. Whenever you're ready then. Until then, we'll keep shut."
They walked back upstairs in silence. Aura and Sherridan had taken the samples out of the sedimentor and left them for next day's labor. The new batch cultured from Aura's freshly collected spinal tap would be the last batch of spinal fluid they prepare.
Hange had arranged for a chemist to come and help them prepare tablets and/or ointments out of the samples. Since they were not toxic to the animal samples and the tissue culture from Erwin's wound, the scientists had concluded that it was safe for use on Erwin and any other wounded soldier. Only the mode of delivery and rate of action was to be determined by the chemist.
"I have a question," Levi said at the top of the stairs. The three of them stopped and he faced his best friend. "How were you able to finish all these experiments so quickly?" he asked, looking at her in the dim light of Sherridan's candle, "because, I've seen Hange doing her experiments. And I remember you doing experiments when you were here before. I don't think you've ever been successful in the first try ever."
"I thought it'd be Erwin who asks me this," Aura scoffed, "I even had a lie prepared. Anyway.. I have been trying to get this done ever since my father got morbidly ill. I had failed for over a year, before I finally learned how to do it. I couldn't make any from his fluid because he.. died. I tried making one from myself, and succeeded. But I couldn't just bring it to you people, without an explanation. So I told you I had a theory that I wanted to test on what Kenny gave you. I knew that would have worked. But you denied. So, I had to come up with the idea of working with Eren."
Aura had not expected everything to go down this way. All the while, she was so concentrated on hiding her truth from Erwin alone, that she did not consider the possibility of anyone else finding out. She was so close to finishing up the production without anyone knowing, she sort of hated Sherridan for forgetting her glasses at the lab. Yet she couldn't deny how light her heart felt after disclosing everything to Levi and her.
She never wanted to deal with this alone. She always wanted Erwin to know about her family's secret. Although she didn't know the entire truth and history of her clan, she was sure they were from beyond the walls. She just couldn't bring herself to tell Erwin without any solid proof of her suspicions. Her father never wanted her to know. Arthur was only ever concerned with transferring his powers to Aaron.
Erwin was fast asleep when she came into the room. His soft snores were audible beyond the door, and she smiled at the sound. She couldn't believe her fate. When she was finally ready to have her 'happily ever after', she was endowed with a power she never wanted in the first place.
A power that came with the cost of her life and sanity. But, what could she do? She knew her father had plans that wouldn't have been in the best interests of humanity. And there was no way to assure that the random child who'd have acquired the power after his passing, wouldn't do the same. At least, other than the way she took up.
She raised her right hand to the level of her eyes and looked closely at her ring. It was a very calm and soothing ring, exactly like Erwin's love for her. Nothing extraordinarily showy, or flashy. Just a simple, elegant ring that spoke a thousand words about how much she meant to him.
"You're back?" Erwin's voice startled her. She was so engrossed in admiring the ring, she couldn't hear his snores go off. He sat up on the mattress, rubbing his eyes for better vision.
"Yeah," she said, walking towards the bed, "Sherridan found me sleeping at my desk when she went to the lab to get her glasses. So she sent me away. I guess I'm really tired." Erwin extended his arm as she climbed onto the bed.
"Good," he said, drawing her closer, "get some sleep. You've been working really hard. On top of being sick in the first place." He kissed her forehead as she drew in a sharp breath and shut her eyes.
"You know.." he started to say and she laughed out. "You can't sleep anymore, can you?" she asked, looking up at his face.
"No.. umm.." he laughed too, "I have made a decision. I do need your opinion on this, but I'm almost certain I'm going to do this."
"What is it?" Aura asked, sitting up.
"I want to quit the Scouts after Shiganshina," he said, looking at her carefully, trying to gauge her reaction, "freedom to me has always been about knowing the truth. And I believe that if I can get to Jaeger's basement, that'll be done. And, Levi has been persistent about breaking my limbs if I don't quit. And, I will have you. We could settle somewhere around Ehrmich, or wherever you want. You could have a clinic and I could teach at the local school. Like my father did. How does that sound?"
"Are you sure it'd make you happy?" Aura looked concerned, "I mean, the Scouts have been your life for over two decades now.."
"You're everything to me now. My family would be everything to me now. We'll have a nice house by the river in Satis, or in Ehrmich, close to a school and in a nice neighborhood for the kids to have friends.."
"You've made a lot of plans, Mr. Smith." She smiled and fell back to the bed beside him, "aren't you supposed to be planning for the war?"
"I'm a multitasker, my love. And, these are just dreams. Plans would be sending your mom a letter, asking her to help us find good houses near her. Oh wait.. I did that too."
"Looks like you're serious about this, huh?"
"Yes, I am. It would make me happy to have a healthy and happy family with you."
"Then you should do it," she said, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.