My jaw nearly hit the floor. Had someone started landscaping in the entrance hall? A massive hill had suddenly appeared in the middle of the room, surrounded by an even bigger crowd of beaming and waving villagers, servants and assorted friends and family. Abruptly, they all broke into cheers and applause.
'What is this?' I demanded. 'What's going on here?'
'Well now, don't be so modest!' Amy slapped my back, nearly sending me flying down the stairs. 'Have you forgotten all about your wedding presents?'
'P-presents?'
Wide-eyed, I stared down into the entrance hall. Presents. Presents? Growing up with Uncle Bufford I'd never really experienced those fabled items that were said to exist in a mythical realm beyond my reach. And as for receiving them from my bridegroom...
Well, enough said.
Still, Amy was right. The hill that rose down there in the big hall was composed entirely of rectangular packages wrapped in shiny wrapping paper. They looked very much like the p-word. But there were so many! They couldn't possibly all be...
'For me?' I breathed. 'All for me?'
'That's the idea.' Adaira grinned. 'Unless of course you'd like to hurry on to your wedding ceremony and leave the presents to the rest of u—'
'Forget it!'
Weddings were one thing, but this...this was special!
With gleaming eyes, I raced down the steps and grabbed the first package in range. The wrapping paper was decorated in pretty blue flowers. And red ones. And pink, and white, and golden ones.
'Let me guess...' My eyes swept across my friends, finally settling on one. 'Flora?'
The girl's eyes went wide in total shock at my clairvoyance. 'How did you guess?'
'Err...Just a little hunch.'
Tearing open the paper, I revealed a neat, white carton package, and inside...
'Oh!' I smiled, unable to keep my face straight. 'Flora, how...original!'
'You like it?' Flora piped excitedly, picking the flower vase, decorated with colourful flowers, out of the carton and holding it up. 'I picked it out myself!'
'You don't say.'
Taking the vase out of her hand, I carried it over to the table in the very centre of the hall. Pushing aside the decorative arrangements of flowers in the middle, I placed the flowered vase here and, lifting the most beautiful flowers from the table, arranged them in the vase. When I turned back, I saw all my friends standing there, beaming at me.
'Mine next! Mine next!' Eve was hopping up and down like a deranged bunny. Suitable, considering the package she was holding was decorated in large, friendly, smiling long-ears. Pulling it open, I almost expected a, cute, live little rabbit inside. Instead...
My eyes went wide.
Cautiously, I reached inside and pulled out the humongous knife with the wickedly sharp blade. There were ten similar instruments in the package, all looking sharp enough to slice an ear off.
I blinked up at Eve.
She shrugged. 'Since you're forsaking the struggle for women's equality and are all set on becoming a housewife, I thought you might need knives. You know, for cooking.'
'Or for stabbing my husband if he misbehaves?' I enquired, cautiously probing the biggest knife's blade. 'Ouch!' Quickly, I stuck my finger into my mouth.
Eve's eyes danced. 'They're multi-purpose knives. The advertisement said so.'
'How wonderful.'
Patsy elbowed Eve aside. 'My turn!'
I took a precautionary step backward. She thrust forward the package in her hand that was decorated with...
Nothing?
'Let me guess. You couldn't find wrapping paper with 'votes for women' on it?'
Patsy grinned from ear to ear. 'You know me so well.'
Taking the package, I held it up and shook it. From inside came an ominous rattling. Dubiously, I glanced at Patsy, who was still standing there, grinning from ear to ear.
'What is it?' I enquired. 'A shotgun? A garrotte?'
'If only.' Patsy gave a sigh.
'Come on!' the others egged me on. 'Open it! Open it!'
Cautiously, I lifted the lid and...
'Oh, Patsy!' Eyes brimming with tears, I gazed down at the framed photograph of four girls under a banner extolling a very familiar motto. 'You...you are just...!'
I threw my arms around her and hugged her tightly. 'Don't lose touch! Not ever!'
'Of course not, silly.' Still grinning, Patsy whispered into my ears. 'Just you wait until I start badgering you to spend your husband's money for the feminist cause.'
I raised an eyebrow. 'Who says you'll have to badger me?'
Patsy's eyes went wide. 'Don't tell me you plan to...'
'Psht!' Raising a finger to my lips, I winked. 'Don't talk too loudly. I haven't managed to marry him yet.'
Delirious with happy dreams of future projects, Patsy danced off.
Next, I was accosted by a stream of servants and villagers, all their relatives and children in tow. Wide-eyed, they handed me small package after package, most of them filled with lovingly self-made household utensils. I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I had no bloody idea what most of them would be used for. Although the rolling pin might come in handy if, one day, I'd have a little disagreement with my future husband.
'Thanks so much!' Smiling broadly, I patted the shoulder of the little girl who had handed me the rolling pin. Her face turned as red as a tomato. 'This can be very useful to a married woman. You'll see one day.'
'Y-yes, My Lady. You're w-welcome, My Lady!'
Bursting with happiness, the little girl ran off, ready to tell all her friends about how much Her Ladyship loved rolling pins.
'I'm next!' announced Amy, pushing ahead of the next few villagers and handing me a slim package. 'Open! Open!'
I took the package warily. It was flat and light, covered in wrapping paper decorated with...
'Amy!' Hissing, I grabbed a cloth off the closest table and threw it over the wrapping paper. 'There are children present!'
'And, if ye let yourself be inspired by my wrapping paper,' Amy suggested jovially, 'there soon will be a few more.'
I wished I could grab another cloth and hide my burning face in it. Unfortunately, there were none left.
'What, exactly,' I demanded, lowering my voice to a whisper, 'is inside that thing?'
'Well...' Amy wiggled her eyebrows like the snake in the Garden of Eden. 'Let's just say it's something that should be very...helpful during your wedding night.'
Cora coughed.
Jenny snickered.
I wished for a bag to cover my head.
What did I do to deserve this? Why do I have these demons for friends?
Most people had a little devil sitting on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Wasn't it just my luck to have three devils instead?
Swallowing with apprehension, I opened the package, and—
'Amy!' Face tomato-red, I slapped the box shut and shoved it under the nearest table, out of sight—but unfortunately, most definitely not out of mind. I would need a month of meditation and several buckets of mental soap to wash that image from my mind. 'You...you...'
'Best friend ever?' she suggested.
I didn't disagree. Partly because I didn't know what to say and partly because a little voice at the back of my mind whispered that she might be right.
'Oh, and this one is from me!'
Elbowing Amy out of the way, Cora stepped forward and shoved her gift into my hands. Cautiously, I peeked inside—and instantly slammed it shut again. Quickly, I glanced around at the children, making sure they were at a safe distance.
'And here's mine!'
Jenny rushed towards me, arms extended. I took the package as if it might be about to explode at any moment. Taking a deep breath, I lifted the lid about a millimetre, and—
'Ah!'
The three girls burst into laughter as I covered my eyes with my hands and pressed the lid down.
'What is it?' Ella enquired, curiously, and stepped forward to take a look.
Never in my life had I moved so fast. Lunging forward, I threw myself on top of the package, protecting it with my very life.
'No!'
'What?' Ella blinked at me, looking slightly hurt. 'I was only going to look.'
Behind Ella, the three girls, damn them to the very deepest pits of hell, were rolling around on the floor laughing.
'Err...um...it's not that I don't...I mean...' Crap, crap, crap! How was I going to explain this to my little sister without shattering her happy, shiny world full of rainbows, bunnies and unicorns? 'Um...it's not that!' I smiled up at her desperately. 'It's just, there are so many presents left, and I don't want to be late for my wedding.'
Behind my back, I crossed my fingers. Please fall for that stupid excuse! Please fall for that stupid excuse!
'Oh.' Ella's angelic face broke into a beatific smile. 'Of course, if that's all...'
Oh dear. I really, really hoped that when she and her fiancé got married, she wouldn't take over the piano tuner shop. They'd be bankrupted by swindlers within a week.
'Well, anyway.' Her smile broadening, Ella handed me a small white package with a blue bow on top. 'Here is my present.'
'Oh.' Eagerly, I reached out. I had to admit, I was curious. What would my innocent little sister give as a wedding present? A handkerchief decorated with birds, because she didn't yet know bees were necessary too?
'Come on! Open it!' Ella urged. Behind her, the giggling ebbed, and Amy rose far enough from the ground to peek over Ella's shoulder. Apparently, I wasn't the only curious one. Tugging at the bow, I opened the little package, and—
Behind Ella, Amy's eyes went wide. A choking sound escaped from someone's throat. It took me a moment to realize the noise had come from me.
'What...what is that?'
Although I didn't really have to ask. I knew. But...it couldn't be! It just couldn't!
'Glove fingers,' Ella answered, merrily. 'I remembered how much trouble you had making those, and, well...now that you're getting married, you'll probably be doing more needlework, so I thought you could use these.'
'Y-yes, she d-definitely can!' Behind Ella, Amy was quivering with suppressed laughter. 'I b-bet she'll have plenty of opportunities to use th-them!'
'You think so?' Behind Ella, Edmund beamed proudly at his fiancée, then turned his smile towards me. 'I bought the thread, you know.'
Oh please, ground, swallow me now!
Amy convulsed, trying her best not to choke. I threw her a look dirtier than a mud monster, then smiled at Ella and Edmund. 'Err...thanks so much. That's a most, um...thoughtful gift.'
'You really think so?' Ella beamed. 'If you want, I can teach you how to use them any time. It can be a bit tricky to attach them to the base of the—'
Behind Ella, Amy fell over and landed on the floor with a thunk, as she tried to muffle her uncontrollable bursts of laughter by biting into her arm.
'Is something wrong with her?' Concerned, Ella turned around to gaze down at Amy. 'Is she sick?'
'No, no.' Still somehow managing to keep a smile on my face, I gestured to Jenny and Cora to get Amy under control. Unfortunately, they had collapsed onto a chaise longue, laughing their heads off. 'She's just, um...very happy for me.'
'Oh.' Stepping closer, Ella pulled me into a hug. 'So am I. So am I, Lil! Promise me that the two of you will be the happiest of all happy couples ever?'
Shaking my head, I hugged her tighter. That was so like Ella. 'I promise!'
'Really? Pinky promise?'
Behind Ella, I saw Amy mouth the word 'fingers' and once more collapse in laughter. I was going to strangle her!
'Pinky promise. Definitely.'
Snivelling and nearly dancing with happiness, Ella bustled off in search of a handkerchief. Behind her, the next well-wisher approached.
It was Lord John.
'Glnk!' said Cora, who was still collapsed in a disorderly heap on the chaise longue, her face turning a nice shade of embarrassment tomato.
Ha! Revenge is sweet!
'Lord John!' I beamed at the man. 'So nice of you to come! Cora has really been looking forward to seeing you again.'
'She...she has?' His gaze strayed to the prone, rumpled figure of Cora on the chaise longue, turning dreamy the moment his eyes fell on her bright red face. Oh boy. He had it bad.
'Oh yes.' I winked. 'Why don't you ask her to dance later on?'
'Do...do you think I could? Do you think she would be amenable?'
I grinned evilly. 'She will be.'
'Oh, thank you, Miss Linton! Thank you so much! Here is a little something I brought.' Smiling brightly, he handed me a slim book. 'I didn't have time to look into it, but the shopkeeper highly recommended it. He told me after he got a copy for his wife, their marriage developed a whole new level he had never considered before. I wish you a long and happy marriage, Miss Linton.'
I took the book, and looked at the title page that proclaimed in big, gold, cursive writing:
Guide for Newlywed Wives, by Mrs Louise Virginia Screwbottom
Dear Lord.
That was it. He and Cora were meant for each other.
With a bow and an innocent smile, Lord John disappeared in the direction of a certain chaise longue, and the next person stepped forward. The line of gift-givers had considerably diminished by now. Several more villagers arrived with gifts in hand, as did Lisbeth and Gertrude, both of whom hugged me warmly. Then...
'Congratulations,' Maria said, with a face as sweet as a bathtub full of vinegar, her teeth clenched together so hard it was difficult for words to fit through them. 'I hope you...will...be...very...happy.'
Reaching out, she gave me...
A handshake.
Well, really what had I expected?
Anne followed after her twin sister, also reaching out her hand—then changing her mind and withdrawing it promptly.
'Congratulations.' She inspected me through narrowed eyes. 'I give you about two weeks before it all goes to hell.'
Wasn't it wonderful to have loving siblings?
'Oh, get out of the way, you two!'
Elbowing Anne out of the way, my Sister From Another Mister stepped forward, beaming, her mother not far behind.
'Adaira! Lady Samantha!'
'Oh, Lilly dear!' Rushing forward, Lady Samantha took both my hands in hers. She was sniffling audibly. 'I'm so happy for you!' Slight worry swept over her face and, leaning forward, she whispered: 'Err...I hope you are happy, too?'
Her eyes flitted to the open doors, beyond which, somewhere, her son was waiting for me.
'Yes,' I assured her, trying very hard not to laugh. 'Yes, I'm very happy for myself, too.'
'Wonderful! Wonderful! Not that I ever doubted it, really. Ricky is a wonderful person, wonderful, it's just that sometimes he can be....well, ehem, anyway. Here, let me show you your present!'
Stepping closer, I pulled her into a tight hug. 'From you,' I whispered, 'I've already received the best wedding present I could possibly want. Thank you for him.'
'Oh, Lilly, my dear!' The dear woman hugged me back and, unlike so many times before, I didn't try to evade the flood of affection. I couldn't. And honestly, I didn't want to.
So...this must be what it feels like to have a mother.
A wide smile tugged at my lips. My new life on the horizon was looking better with every passing minute.
When Lady Samantha finally let go and stepped back, her face glowed with motherly pride. I pretended not to notice the sparkling drops on her cheeks.
'Thanks so much for saying that, dear. But still...I couldn't let this day pass without getting you a little something special.'
Reaching behind her, she pulled out a package wrapped in bright, shiny pink wrapping paper, with a golden bow on top. Carefully, I tugged at the bow and it fell open. Unwrapping the shiny paper, I opened the carton inside, and—
'Oh! Lady Samantha...!'
Her Ladyship smiled, eyes sparkling.
Breathless, I reached into the box lined in white velvet and lifted out the pearl necklace. Three elegant loops of white-golden pearls hung down from a central nexus at the back. At the front, at the very centre of the golden arcs, hung a delicate silver flower, its beautiful petals stretching out in every direction.
'My Lady!' I breathed. 'You can't mean...'
'I wore this at my own wedding.' The smile Lady Samantha gave me warmed my heart. 'Would you take it? It would make me so happy.'
'Your Ladyship, that's so generous, but...' My eyes flickered over at Adaira, Lady Samantha's daughter. Wouldn't she...?
Adaira grinned. 'Don't you worry,' she whispered, leaning over. 'This is a golden opportunity! Do you have any idea how many jewels my mother was weighed down by on her wedding day? If I'd have to wear all that, I'd need a crane to go down the aisle. Besides...' Her grin widened. 'I don't know why, but I have a feeling I might be eloping to distant lands when my time comes. I can't let myself be weighed down, now, can I?'
She glanced over her shoulder. I followed her gaze, and groaned inwardly as I saw Captain Carter.
And it's because of me they met. Mr Ambrose, Sir, forgive me.
'But that will still be a long way off,' Adaira continued. 'I'm not nearly ready to settle down yet. I want to learn to stand on my own two feet, to be independent.'
Lady Samantha's eyes widened, and she shuddered at her daughter's words. 'Don't mind her,' she whispered, trying to cover my ears. 'I have no idea where she gets those crazy ideas from!'
'Don't worry.' Stepping away, I patted her shoulder. 'Once the wedding is over, I'll have a good, long talk with her about the subject.'
'Would you?' She gave me a look of deep gratitude. 'Thank you so much!'
I wondered if she would still be thanking me if she were able to listen in on the pep talk I had in mind for her daughter.
'Here, let me help you put it on.' Eagerly flitting around me, Adaira took up the necklace and slung it around my neck. I felt my ears turn red as an 'Aaaw' went up from all the surrounding people.
Quickly flitting around to the front again, Adaira held something out. It took me a moment to realize that she, too, had prepared a present for me.
'Here.' Grinning, Adaira pressed the package into my hands. Pulling it open, I saw...
'Holy Moly! Adaira!' Two gorgeous pearl arm bands, matching the necklace exactly, sparkled and shimmered on the white velvet.
Adaira's grin widened. 'My mother is lousy at keeping secrets. So I had those made to match. I would have had earrings made, too, if I'd felt confident enough in my stealth skills to sneak into your room at night and punch holes into your ears.'
'I much prefer the armbands, thank you very much.'
'I thought you might. Can I?'
I held out my hands, and she wrapped the beautiful bands around my wrists. Another 'Aawww' went up from the crowd, especially the younger girls.
Giving me a firm hug, Adaira hurried away and, as she did, gave a smile and a wink to the next person in line. That alone was enough to tell me who it was. I raised my eyes.
'Ah. Hello, Captain Carter.'
'Miss Linton.' The captain bowed, giving me a warm, sincere smile. There was no jealousy or anger in his eyes. Thank goodness! He was truly over me. Had the South American rebels blown a hole in his head, through which his feelings for me had fluttered out and away?
Thank you, ruthless bloodthirsty guerrilla fighters! Thank you! And I forgive you for ruining my uncle's socks!
'You were right.' He lowered his voice. 'The two of us weren't right for each other. I wish you all the happiness in the world.'
'And I,' I told him, my eyes glancing past him towards Adaira, 'wish you the same.'
And with luck, you'll not just be able to have your happiness, but keep your head as well.
Perhaps I should take Mr Ambrose on an extended tour of his faraway business interests.
'And here. This is for you.' Reaching into his pocket, he withdrew a small parcel wrapped in old newspapers. He gave me an apologetic smile. 'I had to rush here from Dover to be here in time for the wedding. I didn't really have time to wrap it properly.'
'Don't worry about it,' I told him, remembering Amy's idea of 'wrapping'. 'There are worse things than yesterday's newspaper.'
Particularly if it concealed such an intriguing form. Frowning, I started to unwrap the newspaper. It revealed something green and black and...weird. It appeared to be a small statuette of some South American deity, with a face half like a snake, half like a vulture, and slitted evil eyes that seemed to bore into me. I had never seen something like this before, yet it looked eerily familiar.
Still, even so....
I frowned up at Captain Carter. 'This? A wedding present?'
The captain smirked. 'Well, now that you're getting married, you'll be leaving your family behind, won't you? I thought this would remind you of home. Especially of—'
My face lit up. Of course! Now I knew why that sneaky, venomous face looked so familiar! 'Aunt Brank!'
'Yes? What is it, girl?'
Clamping my mouth shut, I looked up—only to come face to face with my dear aunt and uncle.
'Ah. Um. Ehem. Auntie! I'm so happy to see you.' My hand, still holding the statuette, swiftly disappeared behind my back.
Oh joy! My dear family! What beautiful, luxurious gifts would I receive now?
Then, beside Aunt Brank, I caught sight of Uncle Bufford.
So much for that.
'Here, girl!' he rumbled gruffly, and held out a slim package wrapped in kraft paper and tied with string.
I blinked. Suddenly, warmth the like of which I'd seldom felt rose up in my chest.
'You...you bought a present for me?'
'Bought? Don't be ridiculous, girl! This is just a little something I had lying around.'
'And which you decided to give to me. For free.'
Two bushy eyebrows drew together into a bristly hedge growing straight across his forehead. 'Don't overdo it, girl! Do you want it or not?'
Grinning like a loon, I reached out. The moment I had the present in my hands, I wanted to rip off the string and tear open the kraft paper—then, I glanced up at Uncle Bufford, who was carefully watching me. Smiling, I started to cautiously untie the string, unfold the paper, and handed both back to Uncle Bufford.
He nodded. 'Thank you.'
'You are welcome.'
Then I finally took a deep breath and directed my gaze on the precious gift in my hand. It was a slim volume. On the plain, black and white title page, were displayed the words How to Save Money and Live a Frugal Life—Ten Essential Rules, by Dr Dr Thaddeus Tightwad.
I felt a lump in my throat. Slowly, I raised my eyes to look at Uncle Bufford.
'Thank you,' I told him, meaning it like nothing ever before. 'Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have a feeling that this is going to be really helpful for a long, happy marriage.'
'Hm. It'd better be. Long-term investments are generally far more profitable.'
I couldn't stop the smile spreading on my face. 'I'll keep that in mind.'
Then I turned my smile on my dear auntie, who stood right next to my uncle with a complex expression on her face, like someone who had just received a favourite chocolate, only to find out it was positioned at the bottom of a bottle of castor oil.
She gestured towards the book in my hand. 'It's from both of us.'
'Why doesn't that surprise me?'
Her eyes narrowed. The castor oil apparently was more sour than the chocolate was sweet.
'When will you be throwing your first ball?' she demanded. 'Now that you've married well, it's your duty to see to it that your sisters find suitable husbands, you know.'
'Oh, I know.' My smile broadening, I glanced over at Anne and Maria. 'I believe I can definitely find some...interesting people.'
Holy Moly, this was going to be fun!
'Everyone! Everyone, it's time!' Waving her arms wildly, a beaming village girl rushed through the front door. 'The carriage is here!'
Everyone fell silent and turned towards me.
'Well?' Extending his arm towards me, Uncle Bufford raised a bushy eyebrow. 'What are you waiting for, girl? Do you want to waste time?'
Through the open door, I saw the silhouette of the church in the distance. I almost felt as if there were an invisible string, going from me all the way there. A connection that couldn't be broken. Firmly, I shook my head. 'Not another second.'
And I stepped outside, towards the church and my future.
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My dear Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen,
No time for an author's note today! I'm working hard on the spin-off of this series! In case you are wondering - yes, Amy's adventure will be posted here on Wattpad! Coming soon... ;)
Yours Truly
Sir Rob