Hayley
"I can't freaking believe this Hayley! Of all the guys in the world, your mate turns out to be mated!"
"Yes Sam, I know."
She winces, "Sorry, didn't mean to sound so unsympathetic. I'm just upset for you. When we were little we talked about our future mates. We worried they'd have smelly feet or fart a lot. Never did we imagine this."
She has a point. Sam arrived bright and early this morning wanting to know exactly what happened last night. To say she was shocked is an understatement.
"I still don't understand why," I say.
Sam comes over to hug me, "Me either babes."
"Hails, Nick and Slater are here," dad shouts from downstairs.
"Ok dad, we'll be down in five."
"You gonna tell them about Phoenix?" Sam asks.
I shrug my shoulders, "I don't really want to. You know how protective they can be. Cody and my dad don't even know yet. I asked my mom to let me talk to Phoenix first before we fill them in. There's no telling what they'll do."
"True. I guess the same goes for Nick and Slater. Tell them all at once. Like ripping a bandaid. One that's been on your leg that you haven't shaved for a couple days, and is practically glued to your skin."
"Wow, you're very descriptive," I say amused as always by my best friend.
It's her turn to shrug, "Eh, it's why I'm going to ace my creative writing elective this year."
I give her a mocking look, "And so modest too."
She pretends to pat herself on the back and we leave the room laughing. We meet mom at the bottom of the stairs and she whispers, "It's good to hear you laughing sweetheart."
"It's hard not to with Sam around," I say as I nudge my best friend in her side. "You need any help with brunch mom?"
"Not today. It's a simple breakfast casserole I prepared last night so all I have to do is pop it in the oven and make some biscuits. You girls go ahead and see what the boys are up to," mom shoos us in the direction of the game room.
Once there, we see everyone is lounging around on the couches that face the entertainment center. Nick and Hunter are on opposite couches while Slater and Hayden are camped out on the middle one, all of them focused on the tv.
"Right there Hayden, he ran into the bush," Nick tells my little brother.
"I know, I saw that guy but his teammate is building on the roof," Hayden responds, his fingers deftly flying over his controller.
I take the open spot between Slater and my brother as Sam lays on the couch where Nick is, resting her feet in his lap.
Gunfire is heard from the tv as the guys continue to shout suggestions. I lean my head against Slaters shoulder, still a little tired since I didn't sleep well. He leans back so I'll be more comfortable but continues to watch Hayden play.
I've always felt at ease to do things like this with both Slater and Nick. We've known each other since we were five. Both their fathers are enforcers for our Pack, so when our dads were busy with their duties we would hang out. They're basically adopted brothers to me. Kids at school always questioned our close relationships, wondering which one I'll end up with. It's never been like that for us though. Besides, it's hard to find an attraction to someone who ate dirt because you dared them to, then puked all over your favorite pink Converse shoes. Or stuck worms in your hair because you said Superman was better than Batman. Nick the former, Slater the latter.
Hunter leaves the room and I continue to watch Hayden as he builds a massive fort with his teammates. Fortnite is his favorite game and he'd play all day and night if mom let him. I tried to play once and he almost had a stroke watching me fumble through it. He kept shouting at me to build this and hide under that. It was like a mini drill sergeant possessed my little brother.
That was the first and last time I ever attempted it.
I'm so fascinated by the epic building going on that I don't realize the air has changed until it's too late. Looking over my shoulder I see the honeyed stare of Phoenix as he takes me in, silently fuming over my position on Slater.
At first I feel the sadness return, then irritation. Who is he to get upset by me leaning on a friend?
He's mated to his!
With that thought fresh in my mind I snub him and resume watching my brother play, though I don't for a minute believe I can forget him completely. I sense him there with every part of my being.
Feeling my body tense, Slater puts his arm around me in comfort. He has no clue what I'm going through but he's there for me nonetheless.
"Still not feeling well tiny tot?" He asks, though his eyes remain glued to the screen.
"Not really, but hopefully it's something I can get out of my system soon. The sooner the better."
I don't doubt Phoenix heard the hidden message in my reply, it's made evident by the way he practically stomps over to our couch to stand directly behind me.
"Can we talk?" He asks, surprising almost everyone in the room aside from Hayden who is still concentrating on his battle.
I look from him to Slater and can see the questions forming in his mind. He's quickly distracted when Hayden jumps up shouting that he got the last kill, winning the game for his team. I'm jostled a bit as Slater stands and lifts him up in congratulations, the other guys doing the same. Even Eric and Grayson get in on the action.
I guess these guys really love their Fortnite.
As they argue over who gets to play next, I walk around the couch and pass Phoenix trying desperately not to inhale his intoxicating scent. I motion for him to follow me.
I lead him down the hallway and out the front door. No words are spoken as he follows me to my grandmother's gazebo. It's white with bougainvillea flowers covering the pillars that hold it up. The top is dome shaped and provides just enough shade that we can sit on the swinging chair that hangs from it. I do just that while Phoenix makes himself comfortable leaning against the pillar directly across from me.
I look around, only then realizing Jeanette wasn't with them. As if knowing my thoughts, Phoenix says, "She's helping your mother in the kitchen."
I raise a brow, I thought mom didn't need help. Obviously she used her sneaky ways to give Phoenix and myself a chance talk.
"I hope that's okay, being this is your home" he states.
"Why wouldn't it be? Just because we're mates doesn't mean I'm going to forbid her from coming here. For one, I don't have the authority to do that and for another, there's no reason to. You obviously chose her as your mate. Who am I to say she's not allowed here just because you couldn't wait for me?" I try to keep up a false bravado, but the way my voice wobbles at the end is a dead giveaway how hard this is for me.
Phoenix takes a step forward as if he wants to comfort me, but my raised hand stops his movement. "I didn't choose her, Hayley. That's not what this is."
Getting frustrated and fighting the hurt that wants to rip me open I say, "Then tell me why you claimed her. What is so special about her that you couldn't wait for me? I can see she's a nice person, but what does she have that you thought your fated mate wouldn't? What would possess you to do something so heartless as to steal my true mate from me?"
He takes every word I say as a physical blow and I'm not ashamed to admit that I find pleasure in that. Let him feel some of the pain I've been feeling.
"It's not that I didn't want to wait for you. I'd basically given up on ever finding my mate. I traveled a good portion of the world and hadn't found her. It seemed hopeless," He says pained.
"Geez, kick a girl when she's down why don't you. It's nice to know I was given up on so easily," I snipe, not masking one bit of the pain or anger at what he just said.
"No, I may have wanted to give it up, but with time I know I would've tried again to find you. Unfortunately something happened before I could come to that realization."
It soothes my bruised heart a little to hear that. I motion for him to continue.
"Jeanettes already met her fated mate. She went through the proper claiming and I was happy for her."
I'm sure my face is shocked, I can't really tell because his admission just floored me.
"Unfortunately for her, he wasn't a good guy. He was very controlling and possessive. Wouldn't let her go anywhere or do anything without him."
Not liking where this story is going, I can't help but ask, "Did he hurt her?"
His face is drawn as he replies, "Not in the beginning, but one day when she went to the store alone he completely lost it on her. Beat her so bad he broke three of her ribs and fractured her jaw. I had just come back from our trip when I got the call from her. I rushed over right away, would've killed him if he was there, and got her out."
He takes a minute to compose himself before continuing, "It was bad. Jeanette and I have been each others only family since we were young. Seeing her broken and battered like that had my protective instincts on alert. I knew I needed to get her away from Calvin, but as long as they were mated he would always be able to find her through their link. As I cleaned her wounds and bandaged her ribs, I told her my plan. I would claim her as mine and Calvin would never be able to find her because our bond would sever their link."
My heart is breaking again, but not just for me this time. For Jeanette as well. No woman should ever have to go through anything like that. Especially not from their mate. He's the one person who is supposed to protect her at any and all costs, not be the person she needs protecting from.
Phoenix continues, lost in his memories, "She fought me on it at first. Didn't want me giving up on my happy ever after, her words exactly, but I was determined to keep her safe. So, I pushed the issue until she finally agreed. It was probably a mix of my insistence and the pain meds she was on, but that didn't matter. I was on a one track mission. I ran it by the guys and they offered their advice and concerns, but in the end it was my decision. I claimed her the next night."
I don't realize I'm crying until he crouches in front of me and wipes my tears away. I grip his wrists, intending to push him away, but freeze at the look on his face paired with the tingles where we connect.
His eyes burn into mine as he continues, "I thought I was doing the right thing, and then I met you and every decision I made before that seemed pointless. In that single moment when I saw your beautiful green eyes, I knew nothing else mattered but you, nothing else would ever be as important as you, and no one could ever compare to you."
He speaks so earnestly, and I want nothing more than to fall into his arms and hold him till we both stop shaking.
That's not what I do though.
Finding the strength I didn't know I possessed, I push his hands from my face and stand putting some much needed distance between us and lean against the pillar. He bows his head sadly before getting on to the swing, our positions now reversed.
"Those are really pretty words Phoenix, but they don't erase the fact that you mated with Jeanette. No one may matter, or be as important. Maybe no one will compare as you've said, but someone is already in your life and claimed by you. You've planned a future with her for crying out loud! I'm not sure we could get past something like this even if either of us had been willing to try," I explain honestly. " In fact, while giving that little speech you didn't once mention you were."
Phoenix hangs his head, his arms leaning heavily on this thighs. He's the epitome of defeat. I want so badly to comfort him, but that's not my job. That was taken from me when he claimed Jeanette. He may regret it, but he did it, and now we'll both have to suffer the consequences.
It may seem petty on my part, but I can't seem to get over the fact that he gave up so easily. I understand he had no clue I was his mate, it's not personal, but if he could give up so easily before we've even mated who's to say he would stick with me through the hard times that came in the future? Will the first struggle we face be the one that sends him running? Where would that leave me, and what if we had kids?
Doesn't matter any way. What's done is done, even though he would end their bond by claiming me, I'm not so sure I'd want that. Not sure I'd want him. I think he's an amazing friend and man for protecting Jeanette, but a stupid one for not trying to find another way.
A heart breaking thought hits me then, I was so thrown by our discovery last night that I didn't think. How is he supposed to keep Calvin away if he has sex with Jeanette?
Once again, accurately assessing my thoughts, Phoenix stands, "We haven't done that. We were, uh, going to wait till we were secure here. Make sure we were prepared to face Calvin if and when it happened."
I should be feeling relief that they haven't but it just guts me further to know that it's only been postponed. He still intends to complete their bond.
"I can't do this…" I whisper brokenly. "It hurts too damn much."
"Hayley, whatever you're thinking, that's not what's gonna happen."
"Really, because you basically just said you were waiting for the right time to have sex. Am I right?"
"Yes. No. That was before I found you. Everything's all messed up now."
"Is that so, well forgive me for complicating things," I purposely misunderstand him. I need to draw on the anger I feel or I'll crumble under the weight of my heart break.
Phoenix quickly protests, "That's not what I mean. Shit, this is coming out all wrong."
Mustering all the courage I can, I say, "Let me fix it then. I think we should stay away from one another. You're clearly confused about what you want and I don't have the time or patience to sit around waiting for you to decide. It's my last year of high school and it's supposed to be the best one yet. I don't see that happening if I'm constantly dealing with you, Jeanette, and this messed up triangle we're in."
He stares at me for a beat before replying, "I don't know if I can do that."
"Well too damn bad Phoenix! The situation sucks! Maybe it will suck a little less if we don't have to be around each other fighting our wolves all the time. Besides, I definitely don't need to constantly see the two of you all over one another. I'd rather stab my eyes out with a pencil than bare witness to that!"
I can see he wants to argue so I push on, "Phoenix, if you care for me at all you'll do this. Don't hurt me anymore than you already have."
My words hit their mark, the pain on his face mirroring my own. As he nods in agreement, two broken hearts lay shattered at our feet.
"Everything ok out here?" I hear Hunter ask from behind me.
I wipe what I'm hoping will be the last tears I shed over this depressing situation and turn to my brother, "Yup. All good. We figured it out and we're good."
Hunter looks at Phoenix, "That true?"
Phoenix nods, "Yeah. You're sister made it clear what she wants and I'm gonna make sure she gets it, even if it's not what I want."
He just had to add that on didn't he? I won't allow myself to feel guilty for the choice I'm making. I have to protect what's left of my heart, because he sure isn't going to.
Hunter looks like he wants to ask Phoenix to elaborate on that so I quickly distract him, "Did mom send you out here to find us? Is the food ready?"
I won't be able to hold off Hunter for long, but for now it does the trick. "Yeah. Everyone is sitting down now."
Sitting at a table with both Phoenix and Jeanette is going to be a challenge. I only hope my acting skills will be up to it, especially when it comes to my dad.
Hunter leads the way to the house and we follow. Just before we go in, Phoenix stops me with a tug on my hand. I look at him questioningly, "I'll give you what you want Hayley, but I'm going to figure this out while I'm doing it. I'll fix what I broke."
"Some things can't be fixed, Phoenix. Sometimes you just have to leave the broken pieces where they lay," I say sadly.
He looks into my eyes, the defeated look he just had is replaced with a determination I don't quite understand, "I've been doing that all my life. Leaving the broken pieces of myself behind in every foster home or situation that broke me. I'm not gonna do it anymore."
It hurts to hear he's suffered, but I still don't know where he's going with this. "If it's what you've always done, why stop now?"
He tucks a stray hair behind my ear, "Because for the first time I found something worth picking up those broken pieces and putting them back together. I finally found my home, and I'm not going to let my stupid mistake take it from me."
With that he kisses my forehead, nods at my brother and heads inside.
"Okay, what the hell just happened?" I ask aloud, completely confused. What exactly is he going to fix and what home has he found? Didn't we just agree to keep our distance from each other? Why does what he said have a foreboding feel to it and what the heck was with that kiss to my forehead? A kiss that soothed the hurt for a second. That's definitely not keeping his distance! I feel like we just did a one eighty and I'm still spinning.
"I don't know what you talked about, but he seems pretty determined," says Hunter.
Yes he did, but just what is he determined to do?
I'm torn from my thoughts as the rumble of a familiar Kawasaki Ninja can be heard making it's way up to our house. Austin spent two summers straight saving up to buy that bike second hand, and a third earning enough to fix and customize it. A minute later, my cousin removes his helmet revealing a head full of hair the color of sand and a mischievous smile. He saunters over to us, displaying all the cockiness of a seventeen year old male and asks, "Hey my two favorite cousins, what did I miss while I was gone?"
Oh nothing, Austin.
Just finding my mate, then realizing he's taken and now is determined to get that home he's always wanted.
Oh, and school hasn't even started yet.
Freakin fabulous!