Curiosity.
Perhaps that's why I responded,
leading to common stories,
hobbies, and interests.
He was funny, not as funny as me,
but funny enough.
I decided to give him a chance.
He took it.
I see a future with you
It's been four days.
You're absolutely stunning
Am I anything else?
Every conversation brimmed the surface,
Desparation dripping from his
tongue.
Each attempt at flattery brought
unease,
yet a simple "thank you" was given
in return.
He was interested. I was
indifferent, Assessing.
"Please stop complimenting me so much"
How can I not compliment you, you're just so cute
Have you no control?
Just for a day, maybe.
He jokes as if I am too, my feelings invalid.
The unease, it's back.
"This isnt going to go anywhere"
I'm honestly not surprised.
"I'm sorry"
But I don’t know what for.
It’s okay, I’m used to it,
Each word dripping with
venomous self-pity.
I felt bad, I still don’t know why.
I stop telling stories, listening and not responding,
Not to the extent it was before.
I can tell you don’t want to talk to me anymore, so I’ll stop bothering you
What is there for me left to say?
I feel bad,
no one should feel like a burden or bothersome.
“ You aren’t bothering me, how are you?”
Drained, but I got the crying out of the way.
“I’m sorry”
I want to console him, but
I no longer feel bad.
You give my life meaning.
It’s been seven days.
I get it, I’m too much.
What am I apologizing for?
It’s not my fault my feelings are unmatched with his,
I shouldn’t feel bad, no one should.
You’re the only reason I ever smile anymore.
My compassion took advantage of me, his open expression of pain
pain he undoubtedly blames on me, brought guilt.
It shouldn’t