-noah-
"I'm okay," I heard Ellen mutter from the bathroom. "This is fine, I'm fine."
I tilted my head slightly to the left, confused. It was November first, and I thought that everyone else was asleep, but evidently I was wrong.
Kate was reclined on the armchair, taking dainty little breaths as she slept. I could hear Logan lightly snoring from the back bedroom- I didn't know if he slept on the bed or the floor, but he was in there every night.
The bathroom of the RV was inbetween the bedroom and living room, so I could hear Ellen perfectly. It was about three AM- she was usually asleep by now.
All of a sudden, Ellen dropped something and it clattered to the ground.
"Shit," she whispered. Then she left the bathroom in a hurry, not noticing me staring directly at her.
• • •
The next morning, Ellen woke me up by dropping a mug on the ground. It shattered and she gasped, then started crying.
"El?" I mumbled blearily. "You okay?"
"Yeah, yeah," she blubbered. "I'm fine, go back to sleep."
I glanced out of the kitchen window- the sun had just begun to peer at us above the trees, and it couldn't have been before nine AM.
I heaved myself off of the couch and padded over to go help her pick up the shards. It turned out to be one of her least favorite mugs, actually, a light pink one with flowers. I couldn't understand why she was so upset about it, but I wordlessly helped her pick up the mess anyway.
She collected the broken shards and started picking them up, sniffling and making a ton of rather unattractive crying noises.
"Hey, El, are you sure you're okay?"
She looked up at me and furrowed her eyebrows. "Yeah, Noah, I'm sure."
I looked her in the eye and replied, "And you know I love you?"
Ellen nodded, mouth set into a thin line. "I love you too, Noah," she whispered. Then she turned around and headed back to the bedroom, casting a fleeting glance at me over her shoulder.
I sighed and shook some hair out of my eyes, then headed back to the couch and pulled a blanket over myself.
"You know, she's having some unfounded crying spells lately," Kate murmured tiredly from the armchair.
I chuckled. "That sounds like something out of a textbook."
"Because it is," Kate retorted. "I took a psychology class in high school, remember? Unfounded crying spells, that's the fourth sign of depression- after overeating, oversleeping, and skipping responsibilities like class or work."
"Oh," I replied. "Well, that's some useful information."
"Yeah, it is." Kate pulled an eye mask out from under the armchair and slipped it over her face. "I'm going back to sleep, night."
"Night," I muttered.
Since I was awake, I figured that there was no time to waste. I made myself some toast and yogurt, and headed up to the driver's seat to hit the road again.
If I didn't make any stops, I could make it through Nebraska and probably Iowa today. But Ellen's bucket list was suffering serious abandonment, and I figured we could try to get a couple more things knocked off of it.
I took a bite of my toast and started driving. I was hoping for a little bit of alone time, something I hadn't gotten much of in the past couple of days.
Instead, Ellen showed up and quietly sat down in the passenger seat, barely making a sound.
"What's up?" I asked.
She sighed and twirled a piece of hair around her finger. "I don't know. I'm tired."
"Then sleep," I replied with a shrug.
"No, you don't understand," she sighed. "It's not the kind of tired that sleep can fix. I'm tired of everything, tired of nothing, I'm just tired of living and feeling."
"Oh," I replied, dumbfounded. After a long pause, I said, "That sucks."
"Yeah," she mumbled. "It does."
Then, after about a minute and a half of silence, Ellen got up and left. I heard her clattering around in the kitchen, dropping things and slamming cupboards.
"Can you please be a little quieter?" Kate grumbled, barely awake.
"Sorry," Ellen replied venomously.
I sighed and focused on the road. It was a back road of some sort, very picturesque. The right side was lined with trees, dotted with a house every now and then. To my left was a lake, vast and wide.
It was very serene, actually. Though I could hear the girls arguing behind me- and even from opposite ends of the RV, Logan's snoring was audible- I had a sense of peace and happiness, like maybe everything would be okay. Maybe I would end up with Kate. Maybe Ellen and her would finally get along. Maybe Logan would stop being so annoying. Maybe we would all live together in Monday. Maybe.
But then again, the odds of those things happening were slim. Kate and I could end up together, sure, but that's risking Ellen's friendship, something I wasn't sure if I was willing to do. Kate and Ellen would never stop hating each other, I was almost sure of that. They had no good reason either- it just seemed like a bad habit they'd never grow out of.
I loved both of them, I did. Kate was always so bubbly and confident, I never had to worry about her. She didn't seem like a responsibility, and I was always excited to see her because her attitude was infectious. Besides that, she was a realist. She didn't see the bright side of things, or the dark side. She saw the real side, and that was one of many things I admired.
But then there was Ellen. She did feel like a responsibility lately, something I had to check up and keep tabs on. She used to be such a dreamer, so ambitious with everything she did. She didn't need friends, or people, or anyone because she was so independent.
Was.
I furrowed my eyebrows and gripped the steering wheel a little harder, trying to pin where it all went wrong. The last time I could remember Ellen being so vibrant was at the pool. Jumping in, skinny dipping.
After that, we had gotten in a fight and I had invited Kate on this trip. That.
I had no right to do that, I told myself. Ellen could kick all of us out if she wanted. This is hers, all of it.
I pulled over to the side of the road and stopped, covering my face with my hands. Ellen curiously walked over.
"What's the matter?" she asked in a tiny, timid voice.
"I fucked up," I moaned.
Ellen straightened up and a fire ignited in her eyes. For the first time in awhile, she seemed positively radiant.
"Yeah, you did," she said. "Now fix it."
I took a deep breath, understanding what she was talking about. Swallowing my pride and gathering my last ounces of dignity, I walked over to where Kate slept and shook her gently until she woke up.
"Huh?" she mumbled blearily. "This is like, the third time I've been woken up today. Can you people just let a girl get her beauty sleep?"
"Kate, you need to go," I said with a shaky voice. "C'mon, get your stuff."
Kate sat bolt upright, spine straight and stiff. "What?"
"You have to go," I repeated. "Pack up."
She looked confused, then crestfallen, then angry all at once. She threw her blanket off of her and stomped up to me, pointing an accusing finger in my face.
"You don't have the authority to make me go," she hissed. I remembered
"You're right. And I didn't have the authority to invite you, either." I turned around and gestured to Ellen. "She does, though."
Kate stood silent, and then squeezed her eyes shut. "Fine," she whispered. "But where are you going to leave me? Just on the street, huh?"
"No, we can take you to a bus station or a train depot or something. I'll even pay for the ticket," Ellen said with a grin.
"All right then," Kate whispered. She seemed sad, but not even that affected.
"You seem strangely okay with this," I said, tucking a piece of her hair behind her hair.
Kate shook her head and the hair just fell back out. "No, I'm not okay with any of it. But I'm not going to cry about it either."
After giving her a supportive squeeze, I headed back up to drive and programmed my GPS to take us to a train station. There was one about 100 miles out of our way, but I could have us there in an hour and a half, easily. I was getting pretty good at driving Jamie, anyway.
I shuffled through the CDs on the seat and then found the mix that I had made for Ellen, long forgotten. I smiled and popped it into the player as I hit the road again.
• • •
"Well, bye Kate. I'll miss ya," Ellen beamed as we stood outside the station later that day.
"No you won't," Kate sighed.
Ellen giggled. "Nope. Later!"
She hopped back inside the RV and shut the door behind her. I smiled and rolled my eyes- it was good to see her so happy again.
"Bye, Kate. It was nice getting to know you," Logan said as he pulled her in for a friendly and somewhat insincere hug.
"You too, Logan. Give Ellen hell for me, okay?" Kate asked, pulling him away so that she could look him in the eyes for me.
"No, I'm not going to do that," Logan said with a shake of his curly head. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something else, but instead just closed it and joined Ellen in the RV. It was just Kate and I then.
She looked at me and shook her head, hopeless. "Why did you let this happen?"
I kicked some dirt away with the toe of my shoe. "I didn't let this happen, Kate. You let this happen. Maybe if you made an effort to get along with Ellen, she wouldn't have kicked you off of this trip."
"That's not true," Kate replied harshly. "You know it's not. This was all your doing."
I shrugged. "Look, I'm sorry. I really do like you, but this was a mistake."
Kate took a few steps closer to me. Her hair was swaying ever so slightly in the wind, and she moved like a beauty queen going to accept her crown.
"This isn't the end for us," she said softly, looping her arms around my neck. "I'll see you again, Noah. And that's a promise."
"Okay," I whispered. We kissed one last time, urgent as a raging fire. Then she pulled away and gave me a long, steady look that seemed to carry so much.
"Goodbye, Noah."
"Bye, Kate."
(A/N) WHOOOO I GOT KATE OUT OF MY STORY! And this chapter is edited... holla
Thanks so much for reading! Hope y'all enjoyed!