Time skip, 1 month into the future. (HUGE TW )
Shores POV
To keep you updated, I had done quite a bit recently.
I got home to Doncaster and cried to Elijah. I got home and cried to Mrs Pinksocks. I got home and cried a lot.
I got all my shit and moved in with Elijah, but after a few weeks he helped me get a cheap apartment. Me and my puppy lived in a nice ish apartment.
Dominic went on tour, forgot I existed and left me broken. He was gonna be off tour in 2 weeks, and he had to come to mine to pick up his key. God I didn't want to see him.
Dominic's new song came out today, in a few minutes actually. It was abit of a random release, just a one off single. I presume it was something to do with me as he was never working on a song when I was still talking to him.
I was back to my old ways. Drinking, drugs, not eating a lot and I had seemed to relapsed. I barley left my bed. For days at a time I wouldn't leave.
Sadness had got the worst of me, I had lost everyone. I simply didn't want to be on this god forsaken earth anymore.
I was shook out of my thought by the sound of a guitar. Doms new song started playing on my screen.
(Play , XO by The Eden Project )
The words sang beautifully. I was okay until the core hit,
'Girl I don't think you knew me at all,
Cause I never thought I'd have to say it
No I don't love you, and I never did'
My heart sunk at the words. We're these aimed at me? Did he just admit he never loved me?
The worst got to my head.
He never loved me. He faked everything, and I fell for it? I really fell for it? Again?
I was led AGAIN? I fell for a boys trap AGAIN? I trusted someone, again...
-
I don't know how, but within a blink of an eye I was inside my bathtub. The water was flowing over the edges by every move I made. I was still fully clothed. I had got in the bath dazed.
My mind was only focused on one thing. The razors that sat on the bath side.
My hand moved shaken over to the blades. My fingers were close to them.
*ring ring*
My entire body jumped. I shook myself from the daze and grabbed my phone that was also on the bath side.
I picked up the phone.
"Shore!"
I heard Adams happy voice ring.
"Oh"
Is all I managed to get from my mouth.
"Shore are you okay"
Adam said as his voice became more serious.
"No"
I said as I started to cry. The reality of what I was doing hit.
"Oh baby what wrong"
Adam said. I went to speak.
"Fuck off dom"
Adam said. Was Dom listening in?
"Are you with Dom?"
I asked him.
"He's in the room"
Adam replied.
"Can he hear me?"
I asked.
"No"
Adam replied.
"Oh"
I said once again stuck for words.
"But shore what's wrong?"
Adam asked again.
"I- urm, I'm relapsing I think"
I said, struggling to get the words out.
"Relapsing on what?"
Adam said as he became a suddenly serious worried.
"Everything"
I said gently. I heard a small squabble over the phone and then it went quiet for a few seconds.
"Shore?!"
I heard Doms voice come through the phone.
"I don't want to speak to you"
I said.
"I don't care right now. Why are you relapsing!"
He asked sounding genuinely concerned. I went quiet for a few seconds completing on what I should say.
"Shore?"
He asked.
"It's you"
I said quietly.
"Me?"
He asked.
"Yeah you"
I said again. The mic went quiet once again.
"I'm sorry"
He said.
"Your a dick"
I said before hanging up the phone. I looked at my phone, Adam rang again.
Anger came threw my body. I threw my phone as hard as I could across the room. The ringing stopped and I heard my phone smash.
Why did Dom think he had the right to speak to me after everything? He didn't.
Now, well now I was laid in my posible death bed, my ex trying to speak to me and I was relapsing.
What the fuck has come of this shit hole of a life.
-
I got out of the bath. I couldn't let my thoughts get the better of me once again.
I dried myself and switched my clothes into some jeans and a top.
I needed to call Adam back.