Mark stayed quiet for the rest of their patrol. When they finally ventured back to the RV, Mark left Zero to his watch outside. Quietly slipping back inside, he headed toward the bedroom in the dark. He had a lot to think about and none of it was pleasant. He felt like an ass. Had he been sheltering Sean? Removing his shoes, he crawled into the bed and huddled himself up in the covers. He felt so alone and yet he refused to let himself cry. Hugging one of the pillows to his chest, he tried to focus on taking deep breaths. He had to be the strong one, because if he wasn't... then who was he? Sleep was hard to come by. He tossed and turned throughout the rest of the night. Then just as a peaceful sleep managed to find him, Sean and Zero were getting up. At some point in the night, Zero had switched with Mari. Leaving Zero to sleep on the couch. Sean climbed down the ladder, waking Zero to ask him hopefully. "Hey, Zero. Can you teach me how to shoot a bow?" Zero sleepily nodded, slipping off the couch to walk him out.
Mark clenched his jaw, but quickly let the jealousy fade. He needed to let Sean go. Although, it was still so painful to feel like he wasn't enough to make Sean happy. Pulling his shoes back on, Mark ventured out to get breakfast. Mari climbed to her feet, bringing him coffee with a soft smile. Accepting it, he mumbled out to her with shame. "Thank you, Mari. I'm sorry for... the way I've been acting." Mari touched his cheek, gently asking him. "Are you ok? Did Zero say something to you?" Mark smirked, answering in a numb voice. "He told me what I needed to hear." Mark placed a hand on her head and ruffled her bangs a bit. Walking off toward the horses, he pet Barney's nose. Mari pulled Chica along as she followed him, asking him with concern. "Mark... Can I tell you something?" Mark sipped his coffee, giving her a shrug as he continued to pet Barney's neck. Mari moved a little closer, openly telling him. "Fighting won't win Sean's heart. He's not that kind of guy. So, maybe... be gentle with him? I know this world right now is cruel and hostile... but you shouldn't be that way with him."
Mark lowered his coffee cup but didn't answer. Mari pulled Chica back over to her chair, adding out sweetly. "We're gathering our supplies and moving closer to the lake. You wanna help me?" Mark finally looked in her direction, asking lightly. "I thought Zero and Jack were going to practice some archery." Mari rolled her eyes, grumbling out. "Oh, they did... Which is why I'm asking for your help. Please?" Mark finished his coffee and nodded. Mark retrieved Becky from the RV, before asking her casually. "Have we found a new RV yet?" Mari nodded, answering curtly. "Ya. Zero showed me before we changed shifts. It is much smaller than this one... but it will use less gas to travel." Mark helped her gather up the supplies that her and Zero used, following along behind her as they pulled them along in red garden wagons. When they arrived by the lake, Mark stopped to take it in. It was beautiful. The lake was surrounded by a natural rock wall that had a small waterfall. Beside the lake, Zero was with Sean helping him shoot at can targets.
Mark's heart twisted watching Zero step up beside Sean to help him aim better. Forcing himself to turn away, he told Mari nicely. "Hey, why don't you stay here with the RV and Chica. I'll bring over the rest myself." Mari raised an eyebrow, asking nervously. "You don't have to do that. I can help you." Mark patted her shoulder, telling her sweetly. "It's fine. I need the workout and... the distraction." Mari's eyes drifted straight to Sean, when she said softly. "Oh. Ok. Just don't over work yourself. I'll get to work putting away all the stuff you bring over." Mark took the wagons without another word and began the mind-numbing task of carting things back and forth. His spirit felt broken but working made him feel useful. As the sun rose higher in the sky, the heat beat down on him. Still he didn't stop. Even when Zero and Sean offered to help, he ignored them. He didn't trust himself to talk. His whole body was just going through the motions. Removing his shirt, he kept working until the sweat was running off him like water.
Mari asked him to take a break, but he continued to work without complaint. Once everything had been brought over, Mark went back to simply sit beneath the tree that the horses had been tied too. The shade felt good. Yet, even as he sat there... he felt like he needed to do more. He didn't want to feel anything. He didn't want to think. Staring out at the blank horizon, he felt the tears finally roll down his cheeks. Pulling his legs up close to his chest, he bowed his head and let himself cry. He had tried so hard to keep himself together. He didn't want to let this world sink in. The feeling of loss was just so overwhelming. Everything he understood was gone. He didn't know who he was in this new world. All he knew was that he was alone. Running his hands through his hair, he scolded himself for thinking that he could even try to keep things the way they were before. Maybe he had been holding onto Sean as a way of keeping a piece of himself intact. He wanted things to go back to the way things were.
Back to when things made sense. The ground crunched softly nearby, causing him to jerk his head up and regain his composure. He even tried to wipe his cheeks, sniffling as quietly as possible as the figure walked around the tree. Mark expected to see Zero or Mari... but it was Sean. Sean held a bow across his thighs, asking him really worried. "Mark? Are you alright?" Mark wiped more tears from his eyes, mumbling out weakly. "Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm fine." Sean inched closer, crouching down to tell him in a loving voice. "Are you doing this because of what I said last night?" Mark shook his head, not meeting his eyes. Sean's hands anxiously gripped the bow, mumbling out nervously. "Mark, you're still my best friend. You can talk to me." Mark looked into his ocean blue eyes with his broken ones, mumbling out. "No. I can't. How am I supposed to open up to you about the things I feel about you... without hurting you? You can't be my lover and my best friend." Climbing to his feet, Mark started to walk away.
Sean followed him at a distance, uttering out bluntly. "Then what am I to you?" Mark stopped, grimly mumbling out. "You are whoever you want to be. Don't worry about what you are to me. Do what you want..." Sean jogged up to him to put a hand on his shoulder, before telling him sweetly. "Mark... I will always be your friend. That will not change." Sean removed his hand, prompting Mark to mutter over his shoulder. "Jack... Forgive me." Mark fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around himself as he burst into tears. Bowing his head, he strained out between gasps for air. "I'm so lost... I don't recognize this world... and I'm terrified... I can't lose you... I can't..." Mark covered his face, feeling like he wanted to crumple into a ball. He was so distraught that he didn't feel the arms wrap around his shoulders, until they pulled him back into a hug. Mark grabbed Sean's arms, holding them in a desperate grip. Shaking his head slightly, he told him in a broken voice. "Jack... I don't know who I am anymore... I can feel myself changing into someone else... and I'm scared."
Sean held him tight, whispering into his ear sweetly. "You're not going to lose me, Mark. I'm right here with you. I'm scared too, but I'll always watch your back." Mark shifted slightly to look at him, whispering out breathlessly. "I don't deserve you... but I can't help loving you. Sean, forgive me... I'm a mess... I know that... But my feelings for you have never changed. I still want us to start over... I'm just... afraid." Sean's hands moved to cup his face, his thumbs brushing away the tears. Mark sniffled, leaning into one of his hands. After a minute or two, Sean told him in a wholehearted voice. "I decide who deserves me... and that has always been you just as you are. I'm not perfect. So, I don't expect you to be. I'm scared too... but I've got your back." Mark shifted more to wrap Sean in a hug. Against his throat, Sean chuckled out playfully. "Damn, you're sweaty... Ugh, gross." Mark nuzzled into him more and Sean squealed as he tried to squirm away. Eventually, Mark let him go and Sean quickly staggered to his feet.
Snatching up his bow, Sean flashed him a playful grin and hopped away from him. Mark smirked, staggering to his feet to chase after him. Mark chased him across the RV park back to the lake. At the edge of the lake, Sean dropped his weapons and striped down to his underwear before jumping into the water. As Mark reached the edge of the lake, he did the same and jumped in after him. Sean splashed him, trying to escape him. Mark ducked beneath the clear surface, reaching out to grab his legs. Sean thrashed and squealed but let him pull him close. Holding Sean close as he breached the surface, Sean wrapped his arms around his neck. Mark pressed his forehead to Sean's, savoring this moment. Sean smiled brightly, asking him innocently. "Feeling better?" Mark nodded, then tilted his head to kiss Sean's lips. He felt like a huge weight had been pushed off his shoulders. Wrapping his arms around Sean's bare back, he whispered over his lips breathlessly. "Sean... Tonight will you bunk with me?"
Sean blushed a deep red, mumbling out shyly. "But... what about Zero and Mari?" Mark moved his lips to Sean's ear, playfully growling into it. "What about them? Zero always takes first watch and Mari... Well, she'll sleep through it. Probably." Sean shook his head, embarrassed. Mark nibbled his ear, pleading softly. "The other RV then?" Sean shrugged, mumbling against his neck. "I'll think about it." From the edge of the lake, Mari called out to them with a chuckle. "You guys want dinner? Or are you skipping?" Sean slipped away from Mark, clearing his throat to answer. "We're on our way." Mark followed Sean out, slipping into his clothes before heading up to the RV. Outside the RV, Mari had a fire going and was cooking strips of meat from a fresh kill. Mark looked at the dead doe with slight worry, until Sean excitedly told him. "Impressed? Shot it myself." Mark genuinely looked at him with surprise. Sean set the bow down, telling Mari nicely. "Where is Zero?" Mari glanced around, mumbling to herself. "He was just here..."
Standing up, she called out a bit loud. "Zero?!" A loud 'THUD' came from the front of the RV, before a pained voice answered. "Fuck...! What?!" Mari gestured with a smile to the front, replying proudly. "There he is. I forgot. He said he was going to change a part out in the engine, my bad." Mark snorted, following Sean around to the front of the RV. As they got closer to the silver truck that was hitched to the RV trailer, they saw Zero leaning over the open hood. Zero glanced at them, asking a little distracted. "Is she ok?" Sean nodded, resting his hands on the truck as he asked sweetly. "Will she run?" Zero wiped his brow with his arm, replying casually. "I think so. I gave her a fresh starter and some motor oil that I found in a different trunk. I just need to syphon up some gas. The more we can load into the truck bed the better." Mark nodded, telling him politely. "So, you'll be leaving soon? It will be sad to see you go." Zero smeared more oil along his arms as he tried to wipe it off, retorting casually. "Actually, I've been thinking about that... Would you mind us tagging along with you? Just for a bit. Long enough to get the Sentries off your trail."
Mark glanced at the horses. He didn't want to slow them down. Zero practically read his mind, informing them both with a smile. "You can't ride that mare. You were fortunate to get her here. She needs time to eat and rest. Her baby needs to feed five times a day and sleep the other half. Plus... after falling into the corpse pit..." Mark interjected for him lightly. "They are limping a bit... Ya. I noticed." Zero nodded grimly but pointed across the RV park as he said. "There is another truck with a small horse trailer... I checked it out while Sean was hunting. It's in great shape and can hold your gear and more." Sean turned to face Mark, pleading with him nicely. "Mark, what do you think?" Mark shrugged, shuffling his feet a bit anxiously as he said. "I don't know... Trucks are loud. They can draw in hoards... and if we run out of gas... That's it." Zero stepped out for both of them to see him, informing him seriously. "True, but that hoard of Sentries are going to come back. Do you wanna try and get some distance on them? Or do you want to risk walking?"
Mark licked his lips, admitting reluctantly. "Ya. You're right. So, what do we do?" Zero smiled almost warmly, stating out excitedly. "Both these trucks have a CB radio. We'll use them to stay in contact. We won't make it if we try to leave tonight. The Sentries will attack the trucks... We'll leave in the morning. I suggest loading what we can into the trucks now." Mark nodded in agreement, watching Zero put his hand casually down on the truck. Mari skipped up to them, happily telling them. "Well, look at that. You all are talking like rational adults. I'm so proud." They all shared a casual chuckle, until Mari stepped in a gopher hole and grabbed the truck to keep from falling. It didn't work. She toppled into Sean, sending them both to the ground. Her hand clipping the hood support enough to send the lid slamming shut... onto Zero's hand. Zero bent over, trying to suppress an outburst of curses and wailing pain.
Yanking his hand back, he looked over his hand and grimly groaned out. "Oh, that is going to leave a wicked looking bruise... Mari..." Mari popped her head up, guiltily retorting back as she climbed off of Sean. "Oops... Sorry, Zero." To Be Continued...