The next morning, George meets me in the common room. I left a note for Angelina, asking her to make excuses for me throughout the day, along with Sirius's letter. That should explain everything to her.
"Ready, Ari?" George asks.
Last night, we ended up making a plan for the meeting. There is a secret passage to Hogsmeade on the third floor. It opens up in the cellar of Honeydukes. The twins learned about it from the Marauders Map. I will go through the secret passage alone, after George casts a Disillusionment charm on me. He will wait at its end, listening for any signs of a commotion that means Sirius or I have been caught.
I will exit Honeydukes and follow Sirius's instructions at the Hog's Head. After our meeting, I will recast the Disilusionment charm on myself and get back to Honeydukes.
We make our way to the third floor, dodging a few students that happen to be awake at eight o'clock on a Sunday. I have to fight the vomit that surges up my throat. Almost equally nervous beside me, George chatters in about the plan.
When we reach the third floor, we cast Disilusionment charms on each other and say the password to a statue in order to access the passage. Inside the passage is a hollow tunnel that smells like rain.
"What will you do while I'm gone?" I ask George as we make our way down the tunnel. "Other than worry yourself sick?"
He is deathly pale in the light of our wands. "I've brought my Charms homework and some diagrams for Fred and my inventions."
"I had better come back to some great ideas," I say, forcing a chuckle.
The passage gets warmer and less smelly as we reach the large staircase that leads to the trapdoor in the basement. We have been walking for almost an hour.
"I think I'll sit at the top of the stairs," George says. "That way I can hear everything in the cellar."
"I'll be fine," I say, but without conviction. Truly, I'm not worried about myself. Remus could be in danger, and I have to get to Sirius in order to find out.
George and I begin the climb to the giant staircase with great difficulty. We have been walking forever, and the steep staircase does not do our legs any favors. There is only silence during the climb. Both of us are boggled down with worry.
At the top, he sinks to a sitting position, putting his bag of diagrams and homework down. George pats the spot beside him, and I oblige.
"Aria," he says, "promise me you'll be careful. If Sirius is caught, he will be given the Dementor's Kiss. If you are caught with him, I suspect expulsion, or even Azkaban. If you think that you might be in danger, there is no shame in turning back. He will understand."
I nod, though I can think of no circumstance in which I would willingly leave Hogsmeade before hearing Sirius's information today. "I'll be careful. Promise."
George cups my face in his sweaty palm. "And know that we will fix whatever is wrong. We can get through this, Ari."
I lean up to give him a peck on the cheek. "Thank you so much, George. I'll see you soon."
He recasts the Disillusionment charm on me, and I peek out the trapdoor for any signs of life in Honeydukes cellar. No one is inside. I open the trapdoor and George lifts me up and through it. I give his hand a slight squeeze, and make my way up the stairs.
I open the door slowly, playing it off as a breeze, and step through. Thankfully, the candy shop is not very crowded at ten in the morning. I am able to sneak through patrons with ease, and wait by the door until it is opened.
The Disilusionment charm has almost worn off by the time I finish the trek to the Hog's Head. I tie a cloak around my shoulders and step inside the dodgy bar.
I wait at the front for the barkeep for several minutes. When he does arrive, he scurries through the unoccupied bar with a smelly goat at his heels.
"We're closed," he snaps.
I lift the hood off my head. "I am here on family business. Do you have a place for me?"
The barkeep huffs in annoyance. He picks a crumb or two out of his beard and turns on his heels. I follow him to a room in the back with no windows. He opens the door and shoves me inside. I can hear the locks engaging behind me.
No one is inside the room. I grip my wand, wondering if I am about to be kidnapped.
The room is small, with two wooden chairs and a small table in the corner. I sink down onto one chair, tapping my foot anxiously. Where is Sirius? Am I early?
I seem to wait forever before the door opens again. Sirius stands in the doorway, looking slightly disheveled. He steps aside to help a struggling figure into the room. Nick.
"Nick!" I cry, bounding forward to catch my gangly brother before he falls to the ground.
Sirius thanks the barkeep and closes the door behind him. "You made it. Good."
I sweep Nick's unruly hair out of his face, and pull his head into my lap. He is sweating profusely, and drifting in and out of consciousness, it seems.
"What's wrong with him?" I ask, patting Nick's hair softly.
Sirius sinks into a chair dejectedly. "What do you think?"
I sigh. "He's drinking again. I thought we got rid of everything." My nostrils flare. "Did you buy more?"
He shakes his head. "No. He just got crafty. In the beginning, he tried to bribe Order members for some alcohol. Then he searched their coat pockets while we were in meetings. He even summoned nearby drinks to the porch. Once, he asked Molly to make him his favorite meal. Gave her the ingredients and everything. She stepped out of the kitchen to use the loo and he made his own concoction with the ingredients."
My jaw drops. Nick did all of that just to get a drink? The addiction is worse than I thought.
"I didn't know what to do..." Sirius murmurs. He resembles the very same man that broke down in the cottage after going to Marlene's house. That was the night he and Nick met.
"How could you keep this from me? How could Remus?"
He sighs. "Remus told me that you needed to focus on your studies, and that you would drop everything and fly to Grimmauld Place if you knew."
The hurt of his betrayal burns my chest. "He doesn't know you brought Nick here."
He nods, casting a mournful look at a stirring Nick. "I didn't know what to do. The Order voted that they would give him a week to show improvement before they kicked him out. Said that he was a danger to their secrecy. He can't leave Grimmauld Place, Aria."
"How could they do that? Didn't Remus stick up for him? Or Mrs. Weasley?"
Sirius puts his head in his hands, wiping a bit of sweat off his forehead. "Remus was disappointed with the outcome, but he told Nick that it was a product of his own choices. Molly was pretty quiet. I think she is still upset at him for tricking her. I did what I could, Aria, but he has to improve. If they kick him out-"
"I know," I whisper, heart racing in my chest. It is then that I see a flash of Nick in Sirius. That broken, passionate desire to save everyone sounds just like my brother.
"Mmmm, Aria?" Nick murmurs, eyes trying to focus on my face.
Sirius gets to his feet and begins to pace the length of the room. "He is suffering from withdrawal now. It's got him sick and messed up."
I wipe some sweat off of Nick's hot cheeks. "Nick, wake up. Hey, it's me."
His eyes narrow in on me, and everything is peaceful for about one second. Then he flips his head around to find Sirius.
"What the fuck, Sirius? I told you not to tell her. I-" Nick's neck slacks, and his head falls back into my lap. "She wasn't supposed to know! Sirius, I swear-"
"Hey!" I say sternly, reaching for his hand. "Sirius wanted to help you, Nick. He did a good thing by bringing you to me."
Nick rolls his eyes in response. His beard has grown considerably, and he smells as if he hasn't showered in weeks.
"What happened, Nick? Tell me."
He moans. "After you left, the nightmares were unbearable. I made it for about a month before I drank again. It was all too much."
I do the math in my head. That means Nick has been drinking for an entire month now. I glare at Sirius out of habit, who watches Nick sullenly.
"I kept seeing him touch you, Aria," Nick says softly. "I must have watched him hurt you dozens of times by now. And how I just stood by and watched... it's unforgivable."
Sirius shifts awkwardly between his feet. I begin to wonder how much Remus has told him.
I pat Nick's head. "It's alright, Nick. I know how hard it was to break away. You were in much deeper than I was. But everything with Crouch Jr. is over now. We can forget about it."
Nick huffs, but it sounds almost like a chuckle. "You're telling me you still don't have nightmares? That you don't think of him? Quit lying to me, Aria."
"Of course I think about it," I snap, before taking a deep breath. "But I'm working through it. You have to work through it too, Nick."
"I can't escape what I have done," he whispers. "Aria, I don't deserve to. Not only did I watch a pedophile molest my sister, but I helped him kill a man."
I picture Crouch Jr.'s disgusting hands pawing at me and shudder involuntarily. "So did I."
Nick lifts himself into a sitting position, casting a glare in Sirius's direction. He lets my hand go. "It is my fault, Aria. It's my fault you got dragged into this, it's my fault Crouch killed his father, and it's my fault that Cedric died and You-Know-Who returned. If I had come out of his control earlier, I could have-"
"But you didn't!" I half-shout. "And neither did I. We were too late. And that's on us. But part of it is on him, too. We can't change what happened to us, Nick, but we can make ourselves stronger. We can refuse to let something like this happen again. We can fight people like him."
He tucks his head into the crook of my neck. "I can't do this without you."
"You have to," I say firmly. "I can't come back with you. The Order has given you a week to show improvement. Please, Nick. You've got to stay sober."
"I can't."
"You have to. You said that you can't do this without me? I can't do this without you. I need my big brother. I need you." A tear from my eyes drops onto his pants.
Nick sniffles.
"You will have Sirius to help you, and I can write letters to you every day. I can't promise that you'll get them every day, but I'll do my best. Promise me that you'll try, Nick. Promise me."
He sits up, wiping his tears quickly. "I suppose I can. I wouldn't want you falling apart on me."
I chuckle, and pull him in for a hug. "I suppose you wouldn't."
The door swings open, and Remus slams it behind him. He is wearing a tattered brown coat, and there are more scars on his face than ever. What has he been doing?
"Sirius, I told you not to involve Aria! And here you are, risking both your safety and her schooling! What the hell are you thinking?"
I have never seen Remus this angry before.
Sirius sighs. "Remus, I had to. He needed-"
"Don't," Remus snarls. "We are leaving, now. Dumbledore is furious."
I step in between my surrogate father and my biological father. "What the hell are you thinking, Remus? How could you keep this from me? My brother is drinking himself to death and you can't even send me a note? Instead you lie to me and let me believe everything is fine for an entire month? How could you?"
Remus's gaze softens, but only for a moment. "Not now, Ariana. We are wanted back at Headquarters."
"Were you really going to let them throw Nick out?" I ask quietly.
He glances from me to Nick to Sirius, then back to me again. I know that the answer is yes before he even opens his lips. "Ariana, Nick has been given many opportunities to change his ways. He is of age now, and that comes with responsibility. It is not my place to go against the Order."
"You used to fight for what was right. If only my mother could see you now. She'd never give up on someone she loved when they needed help. Least of all her family."
Remus steps backwards as if I have hit him. He takes a moment to compose himself. "I am sorry that you disagree with the Order's vote. I hope that you one day learn that not everything is a contest between right and wrong. One day, you will understand." He turns to Sirius and Nick. "We are leaving in three minutes. Say your goodbyes."
He crosses the room and closes the door behind him.
I turn to Nick, knees shaking with anger.
"Aria," Sirius says, "Remus isn't himself. He's been doing some undercover work for the Order. It has really taken a toll on him."
"Don't defend him," I snarl, moving into Nick's arms. I glance up at my brother, who is still crying. "Prove him wrong, Nick. Prove them all wrong. You can do this. I know you can. I'll see you at Christmastime, yeah?"
Nick kisses my forehead. "Yeah. Love you, Aria."
I break away and look at Sirius. "Thank you for bringing him to me. I know it wasn't an easy decision. Please be honest in your letters with me from now on. I'll be expecting an owl from you every day. You too, Nick."
Sirius opens the door and nods goodbye at me. I know he isn't sorry for being honest about Nick. He may be an insufferable git, but he tried to help Nick and I. Perhaps there is hope for Sirius Black after all.
"Goodbye, ma sœur," Nick says, giving my hand one last squeeze. Then he is gone.
***
I make it safely back to George, though not all in one piece. Tears are streaming down my face when he pulls me into a hug and my Disilusionment charm comes off.
"What happened? Is it Remus?"
I spring out of his arms and sink into the dirt wall of the tunnel. Grime seeps into my hair, but I can only think of my interaction with Remus, Nick, and Sirius.
George is talking but my heart is beating so loud. I can barely keep my head upright. My calves are retracting so heavily that I fear they will turn themselves inside out.
He reaches for my hand but I slap it away and leap to my feet with unforeseen energy. I start down the tunnel, head spinning. I think of poor Nick, listening to Sirius and Remus argue over telling me everything. It's like a child watching his parents fight for the first time. And I couldn't even be there for Nick, because of Remus. My Remus, who always does what is right, except when it comes to me. Then he would do anything to ensure my protection. This is no romantic notion, no powerful story of love between father and daughter. No. Remus kept me from helping Nick. Nick could have drank himself to death, and I would have never known.
"Aria, maybe we should slow down. You're not breathing right."
I shake my head, speeding further forward. Even as my heart races and my head pounds, I cannot stop. I have to get to Angelina. She'll know what to do. She always knows what to do.
"Aria, please talk to me. You're having a panic attack right? Let me help."
Crouch stirs, and my legs are suddenly moving toward him. One step after another, all while I am begging them to stop. I don't think this will end well for Crouch, and I won't be a part of it.
"Grab him." The man orders.
I stride over to the weakened old man and grab his shoulder, pulling him up to his knees. Nick takes his other shoulder, and we wait for more instruction.
Something about this feels right, like whatever is about to happen is what should happen, but I can't get myself to believe it.
"Avada kedavra." The man breathes, and I can almost see the sick smile upon his face as he drains the life from this shriveling old man.
Crouch's body slumps, and falls to the ground. I clamp my hands to my mouth, for once showing some outwardly sign of surprise. Nick doesn't even flinch.
I realize now that I am shaking. My hands are coated in blood, and I try to scrub it off feverishly.
"What are you doing?" George asks. "Is there something on your hands?"
The blood does not wipe off, and I feel my legs quivering beneath me. Nick and I helped kill Crouch. We didn't break the curse and he died as we held him down. Nick was right. We are killers.
The cold is striking in the tunnel, even as I near the end of the secret passage. From behind me, George casts a Disillusionment Charm on he and I. I sprint out of the passageway and up to Gryffindor Tower. Now he cannot call my name or even see me crumble.
I climb the stairs as quick as I am able. George's footsteps thunder behind me, and I step aside and let his invisible form past. Then I continue upward, trying to control my breathing.
Step. Breathe. Step. Breathe. Step-
The man laughs sickeningly as he picks up the bone with his hand. Tossing it in the air several times, he chuckles again. "Fetch!" He cries with glee, throwing the one a couple feet behind him.
My legs break into a sprint, and I dive for the bone. Now that I think about it, it looks like a dog bone. Then the rush of anger comes flooding in. Why did I retrieve this bone for him? Nick stands behind me, a nauseating smile on his face.
Step. Breathe. Step. Step. Breathe. Step.
Footsteps make dents in the grass as the invisible man makes his way over to me.
"Put it in your mouth, like a dog," he says, apparently not in a time crunch.
My cheeks burn, and my brows furrow. Of course I won't put it in my mouth. I'm not his pet. But a voice in my head tells me I am.
Step. Breathe. Step. Breathe. Step. Step. I am getting closer to the Tower, but my head is still spinning.
Put it in your mouth
No, I won't. This is ridiculous, how can he expect me to follow his every command? I won't do it! I won't.
My body seems to think that I will do it, because I lift the bone to my mouth and clamp my teeth around it, holding it like a brainwashed puppy. Disgusting. I am holding the dead body of someone I watched be murdered... in my mouth.
Step. Step. Step. Breathe. Step. Step. I am about to vomit.
He laughs a malicious sort of laughter, one you expect from the evil villains in books. "My own personal pet. What else can you do, pretty?"
While my heart swells at being called pretty for the first time in awhile, I feel as if I'm about to vomit. Then his hand is on my cheek, tracing its outline with a calloused finger. My blood runs cold, thinking of all of the terrible things that he could make me do.
I am running now, racing to Angelina.
Step. Step. Step. Breathe. Step. Step. Step. Step.
"I hear voices." Nick interrupts, glancing toward the east.
The man releases my face, and I'm left shaking at the thought of his touch. Shaking... I haven't been able to shake while under his control. Does that mean I am overcoming it? Perhaps he told me to shake.
"Go back to the carriage and modify both of your memories." The man says, but the sound of his voice travels toward Nick, not me.
I reach the portrait and follow a group of second years inside. Then I push past them and race up the stairs to my dormitory. But my head is moving quicker than my legs, and I crash and hit my chin on the stairs. The blood drips down my chin, but I get up and keep moving to Angelina.
I stand, and the man grabs my arm with two meaty fingers. That alone is enough to keep me still. I want to squirm, to scream, anything, but my mouth holds the bone and my body freezes.
He runs his finger along my chest, tracing my left breast. Then he finds the scar from the centaurs, scratching it enough to open the wound. I merely stare ahead, unable to physically react. At last, he lifts his finger to my mouth, grabbing the bone from it.
"I will see you later, pet."
I throw open the door to our dormitory and collapse on the ground, still shaking with chills. My Disillusionment charm is wearing off.
Angelina races over to me, a shocked expression on her face. Her hair is down in a braid, and she wears a baggy pair of Lee's sweatpants.
"Aria! I heard what happened. I am so, so sorry about everything."
How did she hear what happened? I blink, confused.
Then I see George peeking out from behind her. He also bears a look of worry, and seems close to vomiting.
Angelina kneels down in front of me, careful not to be too close. She cocks her head to the side, observing me with a watchful eye. "Aria?"
I let out a choked sob and wrap my arms around her. She lets me sob into her chest and pulls me close.