"I might have been a little rude to turn you down twice." I said and we both let out a soft chuckle.
"5 weeks long, I doubted to ask you to be mine. All because you turned me down those two times. You made me feel so insecure because I was so afraid of losing you. You were already my longest relationship before I even made you my girlfriend and you were the first girl I ever loved. No longer a hook up or a short fling." He said while he reached for my hand again. I looked down at our hands for a mere second before looking at him again. "I still regret the way I asked you, you deserved so much more than that. You deserved a romantic date and so many more words about how you made me weak in the knees from the day we met."
"It was perfect Luke, you had me wrapped around your finger so I would have said yes, no matterhow you asked." I replied and he let out a soft laugh, at my use of words. I had fallen so deep for him that by the time he finally got the guts to ask me, there was not a single thought of doubt in my mind. I always tried to protect myself from getting hurt, to prevent the heartache that followed a break up but when he asked me that night, I knew my answer right away. I never gave my chaotic mind time to overthink it. To this day, I have no regrets of allowing him to hold my hand that day or for saying yes that evening.
—
"Good morning Alice" Luke said so cheerfull and eager the second I walked through my front door. I nodded at him before I went to the shed beside the house to take my bike. He patiently waited for me by the fence, already sitting on his bike and balancing himself by holding onto our fence. I walked over to him, my leather boots leaving prints in the thin layer of snow that was left on our front yard. "All roads have been cleared of snow so we should have no trouble to get to school." He said just as cheerfull as his goodmorning. I couldn't comprehend how he did it, how he always stayed so happy and how he had so much energy in the morning. I was his opposite in so many ways. I needed more time to wake up, I needed people to be quiet in the morning, I needed the city to be more quiet but I don't think I was getting any of those today.
I slipped on my gloves and hat before I got on my bike too. He let go of the fence and gave me a second to catch up before we went on with our usual, rather rapid pace.
"I know you're not the most friendly person in the morning but am I not even getting a hello?" He asked and when I looked at him to shot him a glare, he was grinning so widely and laughed when our eyes connected for a second. I tried so hard not to do it, but a small smile formed on my lips when I heard his loud laugh.
"Good morning Hemmings." I said and he seemed so satisfied with his good morning.
"So, I've got a question." He said and it changed so rapidly, his voice was shaking lightly and I could hear the nerves so clearly. He was looking down at the ground in front of him, unable to look at me.
"Shoot"
"Can I-" he said but he stopped his sentence again, even more nervous as before. "Can I hold your hand when we get to school? Like when we walk in the hallways or sit at lunch? We don't have to if you don't want to but it's been 5 weeks since I took you out on our first date. I just want to hold your hand and show you off."
"I'm not really worth showing off. It wouldn't be any good for your reputation." I replied now nervous too.
"Are you kidding me?" He asked as he pressed down on his brakes and made an abrupt stop, I stopped too and turned around to look at him.
"We're going to be late if we don't keep going." I said to him and he just shook his head.
"Do you really think you would bring down my reputation?" He asked and I gave him a soft nod and a 'yeah' which made him laugh. "Do you even see how people look at you when you walk through the hallway? Do you have any idea how many guys would want to be in my place? Did you not see that senior trying to hit on you last week? Do you not see any of that?" He sounded so in disbelieve that I didn't know. But how could I know how people look at me when all I do is stare at the ground right in front of me when I walk? How could I know how guys felt about me when I never talk to them?
"You know I'm not really good at social interactions." I said and I was getting impatient when he wouldn't move but he let out a laugh before starting to move forward again.
"So about the holding hands, can we do that? I'd like to be the one that gets to hold your hand?" He asked, nervous again and I looked at the road with a small smile while I thought it over. I was taking too much time to think about it according to Luke because I could see him becoming impatient.
"Holding hands is something couples do." I noted and he let go of his bike with one hand to scratch the back of his neck, something he always does when I ask him the questions that make him nervous. "We're not a couple."
"We could be." He mumbled and a smile formed on my face before I looked at him shortly.
"I atleast expected you to ask it during a date, maybe with like a promise ring or something." I said with a grin and it was fascinating how when he started to get nervous, I only got more confident. There was something about seeing him become nervous because of me, that made me feel good. It was new and refreshing to be the one that made the other nervous. I'm so used to it being the other way around.
"I- I'm so sorry, just ignore all I said and I'll do it right again. I'm so sorry Alice." He said so rushed and I let out a chuckle.
"It's alright Luke. I'll hold your hand when we walk through the hallways and I'll sit by you in class and during lunch." I said and there was a moment of disbelieve in his face before it changed to pure happiness and the biggest smile.
"Okay" he said and the same smile stayed on his face before he became quiet. He started humming along to happy songs and I listened with a stupid smile that matched his and I waited until he would say something else but he stayed quiet. Quiet and happy.
We reached school not much later and as always, we were still rather early but he knows how important it is for me to be in time, to be there when the hallways aren't crowded yet. But most of all, I didn't want everyone to look at me when we walk in late, I didn't want them to look at me more than they already do.
We both placed our bikes in the stall before he looked at me, nervous but happy. "So you're really okay with us holding hands?" He asked again as he scratched the back of his neck again.
"Yeah, like couples do." I said again, now nervous too and he hestitated before walking towards me and taking my hand in his. "So what are we?" I asked as soon as we started walking towards the building entrance, his slightly sweaty hand around mine but he was holding onto me with just the right amount of pressure, giving me the comfort of holding his hand but not too much pressure.
"Will we go out after school tonight? I know a new good place." He asked and I laughed softly while I looked up at him.
"That's not an answer to my question." I replied while a laugh still left my lips and he smiled while shaking his head.
"I'm gonna do it the right way, so do you have time to go out tonight or not?"
"We have a literature test tomorrow, Luke. I still have to study." I said and he gave me a pout but I shook my head with a soft laugh, "And then we have geology the day after so we'll just see when it fits?"
"Yeah we'll figure it out." He said and I nodded before I released his hand for a second to put on my headphones before we walked into the hallways. I tried not to look down for once, I tried to see the way people looked at me, I tried not to crumble when people stopped their conversations and looked at us before looking at where our hands connected. But I couldn't do it, I looked back at my feet and the ground in front of me. When Luke noticed, he squeezed my hand softly and bumped his shoulder against mine. I smiled softly before looking up at him, my green eyes connecting with his blue ones and he smiled too. "You're so damn beautiful."
I felt my cheeks heat up instantly and looked back down to my feet to try and find the courage to say something back. "You're so damn handsome." I said back and he laughed softly before looking ahead of him with the biggest smile.
-
It was pitch black outside and even though it was nearly freezing, my window was open on a crack so I could hear Luke playing his guitar. My curtains were closed so I couldn't see him, but I knew perfectly how he was sitting. He always sat on the window sill, his back leaning against the side of the open window, his guitar partly hanging outside and his hair messed up because he would run his hand through his hair a thousand times while he messed around with lyrics and chords.
His music had stopped several minutes ago so I assumed he had went to bed, after all it was 11:45pm and he wasn't as interested with getting good grades as me.
"Alice." I heard Luke yell and I wanted to ignore it, I wanted to focus on getting my work done but when something kept hitting my window repeatedly, I got up from my chair and walked over to the window. I pulled open my curtains but was faced with a dark room. "Down here." He said and I looked down to see Luke standing there, holding a few small rocks in his hand that he probably got from his driveway.
"Were you throwing rocks at my window? It's almost midnight Luke." I whisper-shouted a little annoyed and he just had the biggest grin on his face. "You're going to wake my mom up."
"I was going to wait until you were done studying but I don't see that happening anytime soon sooo" he said before picking up the snowball he had laying beside him and throwing it to where a sensor was placed to turn on the lights. He missed it terribly the first time and I laughed softly while I leaned through the window and watched him. He was standing in the dark but his eyes were still shining and his smile was so contagious. "Give me a second." He said before he just ran over to activate the lights that lit up the two pathways next to our homes.
"What are you trying to do Luke?" I asked and he just pointed to where he was standing earlier and the biggest smile formed on my face.
'Will you be my girlfriend?' was written in the thin layer of snow and I looked at Luke who was waiting there so hopeful.
"Just give me a minute." I said to him before taking a step back and closing the window. I picked up my sweater and quickly threw it on before trying to make my way downstairs as quiet as possible. I took the keys from the kitchen table before going outside wearing a sweater too big and shoes that belonged to my brother.
"I thought you turned me down for a minute." Luke said with the biggest grin. I walked over to him to where our backyards met and he still seemed so nervous yet he knew my answer already.
"You would wake up my mom and brother if I didn't come down." I said and he laughed so softly while he nodded, "Yeah."
"Yeah what?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and a confused look on his face.
"Yeah I'd love to be your girlfriend."
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Writing this is so different compared to what I've written before but I love it a lot.
Let me know what you think so far ♥️