I missed you guys a lot! :)
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Clarissa POV
"But tell me how did you fall in love? Where did you two meet? How come you accepted him? How come he accepted you? And are you comfortable with him drinking your blood?" her last question squeezed the life out of me. I was appalled as I looked at her without blinking. My face went pale and the cold air hugged my body tightly.
"What...?" I shuddered at her words.
Drink my blood?! My face went pale as I looked at her. She continued looking at me curiously for answers but then her eyes widened at my shocked expression and her mouth wide opened in exclamation "Don't tell me you didn't know about it?!" her voice high-pitched and surprised.
I was too startled to listen to her as I felt waves of shiver coursing through my length of body and I was lost in my own world of fear.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked at the person surprised "Are you okay?" she asked concerned but I immediately turned away from her and gulped in huge breaths, trying to calm myself down.
She kept asking me whether I was alright or not but I could only hum in response. I was too startled and scared at her words. My blood? I have been living with him for so many years without any fear or caution that one day when he might be hungry, he might attack me. I was too reckless all the time angering him and behaving absurd without even the slightest thought that he could kill me or worse drink my blood!
Panic rumbled in the pit of my stomach and the memories of the night when I first found out he was a vampire flashed before my eyes. The first time I saw him, his hunger was unimaginable and blood was dripping from his mouth and he looked like an animal when he chased after me. How did I forget that night ever happened? I remember that he is a vampire but I forget to realize that he can drink my blood any second and if he does drink my blood...
My whole body shivered at the thought.
I am really stupid and arrogant to believe that he would never hurt me!
...My eyes widened and my mind stopped accelerating more regrets when I understood something.
Masking my fear, I straightened myself and turned to look at her.
"I'm fine" I said in a blank tone.
There was a disappointed look on her face for a split second before she covered it up. Does she think I didn't catch that?
"O-Oh is that so? That's good then." She stammered and it was not because she was surprised or happy for me but because she was angry about it.
I could read the emotions on her face like the digest of werewolf anatomy.
"Is that disappointment that I hear in your words." She was alarmed at my words as she looked at me cautiously with a friendly smile and said "How can that be? I am genuinely happy for you."
A smirk lifted the corner of my lips as I folded my hands on my chest and looked at her "Ah so it's happiness. Stupid me to misinterpret your feelings for us. How can you not be happy? After all, you're his sister-in-law?" I emphasized the word sister-in-law and from the corner of my eyes I could see her clenching her hands into fists.
"Y-Yeah" she faked a smile but I know what she was planning to do by asking me such type of a question now.
I disdainfully stared at her. How was I so stupid to forget that she has been trying to tear down our relationship ever since the first moment she saw me. She hates me but I was blinded by the good times we shared in these last few days. She did it all on purpose! She intentionally developed a good relationship with me to win my trust and waited for a good opportunity to strike!
I now understand why Mr. Sylvester was repeatedly fuzzing about being vigilant around them.
There was a palpitating silence in the air, she was evidently afraid that she had been seen through but still pulled up a confident face like nothing in the world can harm her.
"You disappointed me" I spoke looking straight into her eyes. She was surprised at my words.
"I thought you finally accepted us but you're still hung up on your hatred for me and still wants to break us apart." I looked at her teary eyed like I was hurt by her behavior.
She was appalled and she immediately went on to decline saying "No, no, no! You misunderstood me! I just wanted to ask whether you two have deepened your relationship to that level or not." She was eagerly trying to save the conversation but I couldn't see a bit of sincerity in her words.
"If we did, you would have already smelled it but you still asked me. Do you want to hurt me by saying that he hasn't drank my blood yet even though we are engaged and are going to get married soon?" I was in full victim mode now, trying to make myself look as vulnerable as possible and this surely got her panicked.
"I thought you were my friend" this was the last straw.
Her face went pale and I didn't look at her again before turning back to walk away when I heard her shouting.
"I am your friend that's why I am worried about you!" I stopped in my tracks. I knew she would say something like this and I was waiting for her performance and she did continue "I agree I asked you about him drinking your blood intentionally and I also agree that I was happy when I came to know he didn't because that is the only way you'll remain safe!" her words hit me in the back like a sharp knife.
I was waiting for some lame excuses but she openly agreed to her schemes. What is she plotting now?
I turned around to look at her but goosebumps rode my flesh and my eyes widened in shock when I looked at her terrible state. Tears of blood rolled down her cheeks while her eyes remained opened like there was no light in them, they looked dull and tired. Her face looked paler and her appearance broke my heart.
"Are you alright? What happened?!" I asked rushing to her side, worried and scared.
In reply, she laughed as she wiped the tear from her cheeks and looked at her finger while saying "We drink blood, we bleed blood and we cry blood yet we're not alive. We breathe, we smell, we taste, we see, we feel like every other being on this planet yet people are scared of us. We have fangs but wolves have claws yet people call us savages for our food needs but call your instincts as natural. We vampires have long been hated by other kinds yet we tolerate but tell me Kasdeya is it our fault that when we drink blood from other's we accidentally harm them?" her words and her question at the end put me in a dilemma.
I don't want to admit it but her words at some point are correct. I couldn't look at her dark dull eyes, I couldn't bear to look at the broken emotions on her face?
I gave her some water and tried to calm her down. I felt guilty for saying all those things to her, I shouldn't have said so. I was too quick to judge this time. I took her just like everyone who only knew to break my trust.
"I'm sorry." I whispered looking down.
"I shouldn't have said that. My words were too harsh." I said sitting next to her.
She turned to me almost immediately and rushed on to say "No, it's totally fine! I understand why you cannot trust me. I have hurt you before and ever since our first meeting we have been constantly at war with each other but what I said is really true." She said taking my hands in her and looked up at me concerned.
"You should go!" her grip on my hands tightened and her body shook as she looked at me desperately.
I was confused and worried at the same time. What happened to her? Why was she suddenly telling me to leave?
"O-Okay but aren't you coming with me? How can I leave you here in this state and-?"
"I mean run away! Go! Never come back here! Leave!!" she pushed me away. My eyes widened in shock at her disheveled behavior as she panted heavily and looked at me panicked.
"Wh-What do you mean?" I asked unsure.
"The fact that he hasn't drunk your blood means that you still have the chance to get as far away from him as possible! Run before it's too late! Hide yourself where he cannot find you and you'll remain safe!" her words puzzled me but the only thing I could understand is that him drinking my blood is more dangerous than I thought it would be. But what is this thing that she is scared most about!
But is she really saying the truth? Can I trust her? Does she really mean my safety? Or am I falling in her trap again?
She sobbed as she pushed me away and repeatedly yelled for me to go away before he gets too serious about me, that I still have the chance, that it will be dangerous once he gets serious.
But am I worried about that? We are not really in a relationship to begin with but I want to what is more dangerous than becoming a vampire that has got her so worked up?
But by saying all this she has filled me with doubt once again. I was questioning myself whom to trust. Her or Mr. Sylvester? And in that moment, I realized one thing and that is, the only person I can remember in this whole wide world is Ajax Sylvester, my trainer and a vampire.
I sat by her side saying nothing as she went on to say with tears pricking her eyes and body shrinking in memories "You do not know the dangers of loving a vampire. You do not know the dangers of loving Ezekiel!" She stressed on his name like he was the one she despised the most and I would have believed her if I had not witnessed that burning desire in her eyes for him.
"You cannot be here. You cannot be near any vampire, him especially! You do not know who he really is! How terribly he loves and how tormenting it is to bear every second with him." she inhaled sharply and took a moment before proceeding with her next words "He once told me that if a person admits to love someone then he must acquire that person either with their will or against it. He said that if a person cannot even acquire the person they claim to love then they have no right to proclaim their love." My fist clenched and she gritted her teeth in utter annoyance when she mentioned about their past.
I held in my anger and let her continue "I don't know your story but sooner or later you will suffer the same fate I did and I don't wish for someone else to go through the agony I once did." She wiped her tears as she immediately turned to me, took my hands in her eyes and begged me with her red teary eyes "Go, before it's too late. Run before he swears to never let you out of his sight and hide before he snatches your freedom to have feelings!" her voice held urgency and her words tasted bitter, it was like I was listening about a very different Mr. Sylvester here, one whom I have never noticed.
I have been seeing that man for the past five years, I have lived with him, I have travelled with him and I've been insulted and harmed by him but even with her genuine words I cannot bring myself to trust her when she says that this cold and detached man has such a cruel and merciless heart to force other people to be with him just because he loves them.
...
No!
Even with her sincerity I cannot believe her words.
Not a single word! I know him and I know he is not as ruthless as she declares him to be!
I remained silent and she looked at me expectedly waiting for me to say something or console her but I remained unmoved. I looked in her eyes one last time before grasping back on to her hand as I coldly asked "Is this what you say to all the girls who try to come near your beloved Zeke?" her eyes narrowed and she looked at me confused.
I smiled at her confusion and patted on her hand as I went on to say "Oh my dear Livia! I've heard you're a supermodel in the human's world but has anyone ever told you that you act rather excellently? Maybe you should consider becoming an actor. Don't you think so?" her eyes flared in anger and her lips thinned tightly as she tried to take her hands out of my grip but I didn't let her.
Fixing my eyes on her, I grabbed her tightly and wiped away a tear while she turned her face away but kept her glare on me as I rubbed her bloody tear on my fingers and said "Livia I do not know much about all those plots that vixens play at but please do enlighten me that don't you think what you just said sounded somewhat similar to a villainous character from a cliché love story who tries to infiltrate the poor protagonist's mind that whatever she believed his lover to be is not and that she knows him better than anyone and that she must run away to retain her safety and the dull minded girl listens to the vixens and with fear runs away, not even giving the chance to her lover to explain or to doubt and question whether the vixen had her own agenda where she would gain from tearing them apart."
Pulling back from my grip, she questioned viciously with her fangs prolonged and her eyes red "And what will that be?"
I smirked coldly at her and said "Her former lover."
"She will get the chance to come back in his life once again and will whisper lies in his ears against his lover and when his heart will be broken at his beloved's lack of trust in him, she will take charge of picking those pieces of his heart again and will make him realize that she still cares for him, still loves him." a gasp left her lips at my words and she seemed shocked and her world shaken as she tried to get away from me. I chuckled at her state and whispered in her ear "No matter what you do, he will never want you back."
"Even if I run away from him, he will never even look at you!"
I smirked in her face and glared coldly at her "If you claim he is so tough on love then shouldn't I be not here? Shouldn't you not be with Ethan and shouldn't you be with him, your beloved Zeke? Or if we to picture it with what you said just now then shouldn't you be so scared of him that you should run to the hills as soon as you see him rather than trying to hit on him or pass seductive looks at his way? As far as I can see he wants nothing to do with you so why are you trying to ruin our lives and hurting your beloved along the way?" I said my final words but she was too speechless to say anything. I'm sure she wasn't expecting this.
Getting up, I gave her a hand to come back with me but she wasn't looking at me, she was staring on the ground, on the ground where her plans have her led her to be.
I turned my back on her and started marching back to his mansion trying to remain confident and resilient but I wanted to go back and look for him. I wanted him to make them go back to where they come from. I cannot withstand their poisonous thoughts anymore.
"Kasdeya wait!" I didn't stop at her frail words but then she yelled loudly for the whole forest to hear "I said stop, Kasdeya!" I didn't want to hear her disgusting words again and kept walking "Kasdeya stop now or you will regret it one day! Run before it's too late! Run before you can never run again! You will one day realize that what I said today is true and when that time comes it will be already too late." Her words send a shiver down my spine as I quickened my pace and ran back to his house, trying to ignore her screams, her horrendous words and the nightmare she was speaking of!
I stopped when his house was just before my sight and panted heavily as I hid myself behind the trees and looked at the daunting pillars of the house staring down at me. I felt a chill running down my spine and all of a sudden, this house, its people felt harmful. I felt someone behind me and when I looked back abruptly there was no one. Sweat drenched me wet and wind engulfed my cold body as my legs shook terribly with fear, I looked around my side to check whether someone was around and no matter how much I wanted to go and hide in his house, I felt that if I took a step in, I would face something I don't want to.
At this very moment, I only wanted to meet him.
I wanted him to be here besides me and tell me that all of her words were lies and all this fear is just an illusion but instead I felt someone closing on me behind my back, my face paled and my heart thumped loudly, I wanted to run away but I was frozen to the spot and as a hand grasped on the back of my neck and strangled me closer, I wriggled in its hold but when I felt the touch of two sharp canines on my neck and dark purple eyes staring down at me, I jolted in fear and a loud gasp penetrated the dark night.
A sudden hand on my shoulder made me jump so high that a shriek escaped my throat followed by another scream from the person. I stopped and looked at the person before me and I was for the first time relieved to see Ethan.
"Why are you screaming? You scared me!" Ethan asked in confusion.
Upon looking that it was only him, I took deep breaths to calm myself down.
"Are you alright?" he asked looking at my messy state.
"Yeah..." I answered without looking at him and was about to walk past him when he asked "Wait! Where is my beautiful beloved? Didn't you two go together?" at her mention, rage filled my bones but I held myself back and replied in a cold tone "I don't know" and walked away leaving him confused.
As soon as I entered his house, I frantically started searching for him.
I must see him!
I am so conceited that I didn't even know how much he was protecting me? How many efforts he has been putting in to keep me safe and away from every danger. I am always so rude to him and I even cursed him for declaring me as his fiancée before those vampires without my consent but I failed to understand that he was doing it all just for my sake.
Now, when Livia unveiled her true face, I realize how much I have been dependent on him and even before they were here he had been taking care of my every need without asking for anything in return. If not for him declaring me as his lover then those vampires...I don't dare to imagine what those vampires would have done to me!
I must apologize to him for not understanding his intentions earlier!
In the evening, I was harsh on him when he didn't even do anything. I have a lot to apologize to him. I just hope he will forgive me and not throw me out of his house because I don't know what I will do if he also rejects me. Tears brimmed my eyes but I wiped them away and checked his room, kitchen and everywhere he could be but I couldn't find him. I was so desperate that I even wanted to go out and find him wherever he was but then a thought struck my mind and, in a rush, I went for the hidden library. It was the last place where he could be.
As soon as I opened the door, a shiver went down my spine as cold air whisked my way and darkness greeted me.
He was definitely here.
Slowly walking around, I tried to locate where his presence was strong and I was not shocked to find him sitting in the darkest and most isolated place of the library. I gulped when I saw his half face lightly illuminated by shadows but his cold deep eyes made me step back a little.
I was here in front of him finally but suddenly I didn't know what to say to him. He was staring out the window, he didn't look at me even though he must have felt my presence but he kept behaving like I wasn't there. Frightened and confused, I started fidgeting and I wanted to say something but whenever I opened my mouth, his ominous glare would flash right in my mind and I would shut up.
"Are you here to teach me again about what I should do and I should not?" his words as cold as ice and as sharp as blades.
"I..." I opened my mouth in a rush but then looked down at my feet as guilt struck me hard in the face and I whispered "...No"
The atmosphere went silent again but this silence was barely breathable. It was like there was a machete hanging over in the air above me waiting to strike me down as soon as I said something wrong.
The fear was not because I was afraid of his punishment but this time, I was afraid of something else.
I don't know why I get so impulsive and behave so strangely whenever he is around and get so frightened that he might push me away. I know I hate him then what is this? What has suddenly happened to me? I know I came here to find him, to apologize and explain for my strange behavior but what should I explain when I myself don't know what is wrong with me.
My throat chocked up in pain and my chest tightened with an unknown fear when I looked up at him, still ignoring me behaving as if I meant nothing to him. I felt moisture filling up my eyes and a sense of dread filling me up on the inside reminding me that I have nothing inside except this strange feeling.
I was so ashamed of myself my eyes automatically lowered towards the floor when I realized that he no longer wanted to look at me, when he defied my presence! I couldn't bear to bring myself to accept that and tears flowed down my cheeks like an erupting volcano and I suddenly had this fear that if I don't clear the misunderstandings now then it will stay irreparable and will only add on to the damages!
"I'm sorry!" I said loudly and hurriedly. I was convulsing in fear and shame that I was crying in front of him despite my promise to myself that I won't ever cry in front of him again yet I was here crying ashamedly.
"I-I shouldn't have talked to you so rudely before...I'm sorry..." I was trying my best to hide my tears but yet my voice trembled.
I kept my eyes glued to the floor as I didn't have the courage to look at his stony cold face. I waited for him to say something but he was as silent as a grave. Gathering up my courage I dared to look at him only to find him staring outside like he didn't hear me. My body shook badly and I felt a stab in the heart at his indifferent behavior.
I couldn't stop the sob breaking through so muffling my voice I said lowly "Ex-Excuse me!" and turned around to run away but a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me towards it as I fell on something roughly.
My hands gripped the surface I was on and I felt the flesh beneath my palm and I immediately knew where I was. My eyes slightly widened when a hand touched my head and another embraced my back. I was surprised and wanted to see his face but I couldn't and only heard a strong word "Cry."
My hands clutched onto his chest as I felt tears resurfacing my eyes hearing that word from him "Cry all you want but remember to never cry for the same thing twice." for a moment, I wanted to believe his words and sob in his embrace and I did exactly that.
I had so many things running in my mind that I couldn't distinguish what I was crying for. Was it because I felt guilty for him? Or was it because I learned something today that I should never have? But the only thing I would have never predicted was him encouraging me to cry.
His consoling added more to my guilt "I'm sorry" I sobbed on his chest feeling worse than ever. Despite of our hate for each other he is the only one I can turn to for support in the end and lean on him whenever I am about to break down and he despite his cold harsh words, is always there to catch me and to hold me.
I don't know when his hands started stroking my head gently while his other hand drew circles on my back to calm me down while I hiccupped. It was purely magical and mesmerizing to feel and experience that he was willingly being nice to me.
"I didn't raise you to be weak to apologize for the same thing twice." He said after a long silence. "Hold responsibility for the things you say, for the actions you commit and never ever regret." His words were true but they seemed unpractical especially for a person like me who regrets everything.
He kept stroking my hair lightly without saying anything else while I went into deep thought pondering over his words. Eventually, I stopped crying after a little while and even though I had relaxed from my hysteria he was still holding on to me and this made a smile appear on my face.
Just the thought of him forgiving me soothed my aching heart and calmed my stormy mind.
"Thank you." I muttered smiling. I don't know why but I felt good suddenly and felt like a burden was lifted from my soul.
He didn't say anything and continued stroking my head lightly and I was enjoying myself before this strange reality flips on the other side.
Silence had almost lulled me to sleep before I heard him say "Why were you crying?"
I looked at him surprised and at the same time a little bit excited "Are you worried about me?" I asked hopefully.
His eyes were still staring out the window and without looking back at me he said "No."
All my hopes were squashed into a puddle before he asked once again "What was it?"
My throat tightened up as the reality chased me down again. "I don't want to talk about it." I replied honestly.
"I'm so tired." I said wistfully. I'm tired of her hate for me, I'm tired of this act and I'm tired of this strange feeling which is eating me inside out.
"I'm so tired of everything and everyone. I just want to rebuild my life and live peacefully and not harm anyone in the process. But I don't understand why in this world there are people who speak harsh words about others when they do not even know what the other person is dealing with." I sighed leaning on his chest as I closed my eyes and recalled Livia's hurtful words.
She broke it all down. He is the only one I know in my life right now and I may hate him but I trust him blindly. I believe that he will never harm me but her words have pushed me into a corner.
Why?! Why does she have to say it when everything is going perfectly fine? Why does she have to remind me that he is a bloody vampire?! Why does she have to terrify me?
I felt his embrace tightening a bit as he said "One does not take into consideration of other's feelings and this is not some secret. People view others with their own eyes, their own experience so if their life is good, they think everything in the world is good but if someone does bad to them, they think everyone is bad. The world is full of such people and it depends on you whether you choose to let it affect you or ignore it. You must also be smart enough to see whether they are eyeing you because of a reason or not."
I looked up at him as I waited for him to continue "There may be many reasons but if the other person is one whose life is going through some troubles and he sees you happy then it must be jealousy." His glare directed out the window but then his sharp purple irises moved to look at me and I froze when he said "They do not have what you do and that is why they are jealous of you and you're stupid enough to take those vain words to heart."
I don't know why but I blushed. I immediately lowered my head and blinked rapidly as his words played in a loop in my head. The way he looked at me when he said that was electrifying. I still feel those jolts and for him to say that without even knowing what I was talking about was a little bit funny.
Livia is jealous because she doesn't have you? I looked up at him smiling at the stupid idea but then my smile faltered into a sad one when I realized what is there to be jealous of me because you're not really my fiancée.
I felt a finger underneath my chin lifting my face up and I looked at his handsome face before he coldly asked "Did Livia tell you anything?" a shiver went down my spine and I immediately moved my face away from his hand and looked anywhere but him as I replied "No, of course not!"
But he saw through my lies and forced me to look at him again this time glaring down at me, forcing me to say it and I sighed. He would get the truth out of me by hook or crook and I don't see any obligation to cover up for her either.
"Yeah. Actually, she did." I said looking away from him as I framed the sentence in mind before facing him "She advised me to run away before you get serious about me and drink my blood." I looked at him intently trying to judge his expressions but he was like a stone, he didn't say anything for a while nor reacted in any shocked or strange way.
"Oh, so what is your take on it?" he asked staring out the window again.
Damn! He was visibly angry but he was hiding it.
"I...umm... nothing actually!" I said conflicted but then continued when his expressions darkened "It's not like we are really in a relationship and there's nothing between us except hatred but she doesn't know it so there's no chance of you getting serious or of drinking my blood." I said the whole thing in one breath. I am so on edge with this issue especially with his unpredictable behavior.
"Oh, but what if I do?"
"I know that's crazy right?" I said almost immediately after him but when his words sunk in my mind, I asked stupefied "Wait! What?"
He moved in a flash as his hand on my waist tightened and brought me closer to him while his other hand that was on my head the whole time moved to the back of my neck and held me firmly while his face turned towards me with his fangs protruding out of his lips.
"I asked what if you should have listened to her advice and ran away?" I could feel my hands and legs shaking in fear but I didn't let the fear show on my face as I looked at him calmly and said "You wouldn't" there was uncertainty in my voice and he caught on to that and brought my face closer to his. I held back the gasp but I couldn't look in his red eyes and immediately continued "You would never hurt me."
"But what if I do?" he asked his lips nearing my neck but with shaky hands I held his face and made him look at me. He continued to stare at me coldly while my hands feared that they might burn under his scrutinizing gaze. Looking directly into his eyes I firmly said "I trust you" the words came out of my lips unhesitatingly.
He looked away sharply as he said "I don't need your trust."
I felt saddened by his words. I know he must be laughing in his mind thinking what a stupid fool I am but what can I do? My perspective towards him has changed lately and I have even started to believe that his words in the past were all words and whatever pain he inflicted on me was because of my own stupidity of provoking him every now and then.
My head lowered as I realized what a fool I have become, I want to laugh at myself. It must be because I have been lonely all my life that I have started to have illusions about everyone who acts kindly to me even once.
There was a looming silence over us and I itched to get away from him so that I can clear my head and get out all these rubbish thoughts off my head but the headache was getting worse. I was feeling dizzy with all the crying and all the exhaustion of these past few days. I am tired of pretending and dealing with these feelings at the same time. Looks like I have really forgotten the line between reality and acting.
I let my head hit his chest as I tried to keep myself awake but his embrace was so comforting that I couldn't keep my eyes open.
As if reading my mind, he hugged me tightly to his chest and said "Rest" as if I was only waiting for his confirmation that I closed my eyes and gave in to the sweet trap of sleep.
Under the heavy influence I felt something gracing my cheeks as I heard a soft voice whisper disappointed "You don't need to fret over her words because even if I want to, I can never bite you 'cause you are not my...".
###$$$###
I don't know what is wrong with the vampires living in this house. I don't know why I am even tolerating them? Yeah, I remember for the sake of training. That Mr. Sylvester sure is a hateful man.
The couple have arranged yet another outing and this time it's a club. To hell with them!
I don't want to go with them not when she is going to be there too. But Ethan saw through us and even though from his talk this morning I could figure out that he didn't know what happened between us but like a 'good' person he is, he took it upon himself to resolve the fight between his beloved and sister-in-law. How good of him! He is a hateful man too!
I have never been to a club and I am going crazy over here thinking what the dress code of a club is! And at this time when I need him, his irritating presence is not around. I sat down on the bed exasperated but then I remembered what Ethan said about us.
It seems last night was indeed true, I slept while talking to him and found myself on the bed this morning with him nowhere to be found. Ethan told me that he had to rush out for some business and would be back before we depart for the club but he didn't miss out on the detail of how he saw him holding me tightly to his chest as he carried me in his arms gently and with his eyes on me the whole time and with a look that he didn't thought he would ever see in his eyes again. Although, he didn't describe what look he was talking about but the fact that he said gently got my whole face burning red.
So now here I sit contemplating whether the words I heard last night were my own imagination or something that he really said. But those words...if he really said it then- No! Shaking my head, I removed the thought out of my head immediately. It is just because I have been pretending to be his fiancée that I am starting to have these thoughts.
Yeah, that's the truth and everything else is a lie.
I sighed at my lonely mind creating illusions and walked forward to get ready. I settled upon my regular outfit and was just about to change when I heard a knock. Thinking it was Ethan I opened the door with a polite smile but my smile faltered when I saw his beloved.
"What do you want?" I asked coldly.
She didn't say anything and just gave me a mean look. She was back to behaving like she was when she first came here. Without saying anything else, I moved to close the door but she stuck her foot and I held back my growl. She was being annoying now.
She pushed open the door fully and walked into the room like an owner. I held back my anger as I asked her to leave but she ignored my words and went on to say "Even with you around this man's taste hasn't changed." She said looking around the room with her eyes momentarily stopping at the bed before turning back to look at me.
My eyes twitched at her words but I settled upon folding my hands and glaring at her coldly.
"I am here to apologize." I snorted at her words.
"Oh, and I should be forgiving?" I asked sarcastically.
"It's up to you" she answered with an attitude as she turned around before I could say something.
I was holding myself back but if she goes on like this, I can't promise I won't do anything rash.
"What are you wearing to the club tonight?" she said looking at the puddle of clothes lying around.
I decided to ignore her as I put the clothes I selected on to Mr. Sylvester's table and started putting other clothes back in the wardrobe when she made noise again "He doesn't like anything on his table" her words made me clench my fist but ignoring her comment I continued with my work.
When I was done and turned around, I flinched when I saw her comfortably sitting on the bed and eyeing me. I thought she left.
"Don't tell me you're wearing that to the club." I gave her a side eye as I picked up my clothes to go change but she grabbed the clothes out of my hands and pushed them into the wardrobe and closed it shut loudly.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked fuming. I was totally on my bottom line right now and her constant reminder of how she knows him better than anyone else here is pushing me over the edge already plus her attitude that she is above others make me sick.
"Saving you from committing a fashion disaster." She said blankly.
"I don't need your help. I am fine the way I am." I said slapping away her hand.
"You need me if you want to impress him." she said it so smoothly like she wasn't looking down at me.
"You-!" I pointed at her aggravated but then she cut me off my words as she continued composed "I am sorry for what I said last night." Her words made me forget what I was going to say to her as I looked at her startled.
"I shouldn't have said those words and I shouldn't have tried to breach your relationship. I am with Ethan now and I am very happy. I know I have hurt your feelings and for that I apologize." Her words sounded so sincere that I felt like I was reliving last night over again. She tried to fool me with the same emotions yesterday and I almost believed her but I can't fall for the same trap twice.
It is better to stay as far away from her as I possibly can. "Okay, okay, I forgive you. Now let me change and get ready." I tried to push her out the door but she was rather adamant as she said "I know you haven't forgiven me. You're just trying to get rid of me." She stated it plainly as she looked at me like I am the one who is the bad guy here.
Cracking a smile that I can hardly maintain, I spoke up quickly "No, you must have misunderstood my haste for my lack of sincerity but believe me I have really forgiven you. So, can you please go now and let me get ready for the club."
"I will only believe you if you'll allow me to get you ready for the club." Why am I so unlucky?
I want her to be far away from me but she insists on being closer to me. What sins have I committed in my last life for me to meet her.
With a headache rising at her words, I waved off my hand and agreed with her request after all she does hate my sense of dressing.
She gave me a small smile before she went back to her room and came back in a flash. I looked at her dizzy as she immediately handed me the dress and pushed me towards the changing room.
It's not like I don't have dresses but the ones we bought needed some alterations and they haven't come back from there yet so that is the reason why she gets to push me around. But still I can't trust her.
I looked at the royal green dress she gave me, it was modest just like I preferred but the length was a little short for my liking. Reluctantly I changed into it and looked at myself in the mirror and I dare say that I looked beautiful in the dress. The neck high full sleeves dress almost looked like a ball gown. I admired myself in the mirror as I went over the details on the neck embroidery and the sleeves. It was exquisite and royal.
I went out of the washroom only to find her arranging things on a table that she got from another room with a mirror. Upon the click of the door she turned to look at me and even she loved the dress on me.
"You look gorgeous." I blushed at her comment as I looked down and walked towards her.
"Thank you I really like this dress but may I ask why is this so short?" I said pulling down the dress. Thankfully I have learned the technique of hiding marks because of my tattoo or else my scars would be visible as well, even though they have faded and one can only look if they stare closely but still, she is the enemy I don't want to put my guard down around her.
"Oh, this is actually a ball gown from generations ago. It is a custom hand-made gown gifted to me by someone but I never got the chance to wear it and I trimmed it later on according to my taste but I never had the heart to wear it so I'm now gifting it you because it looks fabulous on you!" I felt excited by knowing how traditional this dress is.
"Come let me do your hair" she said sitting me down on a chair and as she started doing her work, I realized that Alexa was the one who used to my hair and makeup for me.
She was quite fast at it as she made a half top bun and curled my hair before doing an extravagant makeup on me. She bid goodbye when she was done and told me that she was going to get ready herself and will meet in the living room.
I had tickling sensations, I felt butterflies in my stomach for some reason when I looked at myself in the mirror and still couldn't believe that it was me. I looked so beautiful that I wanted to cry but something else was making me nervous and excited at the same time as I hurriedly put on my heels and rushed to the living room to wait for him.
I am dying to see him. I want him to look at me and tell me how I look.
I wondered when he will come back. What will he say? What will he do? Oh my gosh, I am so nervous and happy at the same time. Ever since I met him, I have been a brat and always behaved unladylike but today when I am dolled up, I wonder what his reaction will be?
I was giggling by myself while sitting with Ethan and I would get his attention whenever I would laugh because we were currently watching a sports channel and he even distanced himself from me because of my creepiness. I was hardly paying attention to the channel because most of the time my eyes were either on the clock or either on the main door.
I can't wait for him to come back.
The thought had just crossed my mind when I heard the click of the door and I jumped to my feet with a beaming smile and turned myself towards the door as the knob twisted and the door opened and from the darkness of the night came a man into the lights and closed the door behind him. Without looking at us he put down a box wrapped in brown paper on the side table before he walked further in.
My heart thumped loudly and I couldn't keep my eyes at him as my lashes clouded my eyes and I looked down blushing.
I expected him to say something at least for the sake of us pretending or even a snide remark would do but I wanted him to react but all I heard was silence. Cold, dark palpable silence.
I couldn't wipe my smile when I moved my face up to look at him but I flinched back in terror when I saw the deadly look in his eyes. I took a few steps back as the aura around him got darker and darker.
Why is he angry? He wasn't this angry when he came in then what happened suddenly? Is he angry at me? I looked at him again and whimpered under his glare as he looked at me furiously.
I heard a click of a door and it must be Livia.
"I-I..." I didn't know what to say, his anger was directed at me but I don't know what I have done?!
Livia didn't know what happened so she asked confused "Why do you guys look so tensed?"
She looked at me but I didn't what happened either so I just shook my head as I clenched my fist in fear and looked at him afraid. His anger was lashing on me mercilessly and he still didn't say a word as he continued to glare at me.
Livia walked up to him and said "Zeke why are you so angry?" he didn't say anything and I also wanted to know the reason behind his sudden contempt but then she continued on "Oh, is it because of the dress?" she gasped.
Dress? What dress? Is she talking about the dress I am wearing?
I looked at him again and then at her. Is he angry because of this dress but why?
"Zeke let it be, please don't be angry at her, she didn't know it."
What? What is she talking about?
She moved closer to him and for a split-second I think I saw a smirk appear on her lips before it was replaced with her worried expression as she leaned into whisper in his ears loud enough for me to hear "She doesn't know it was the dress you gifted me for our proposal date."
It was like the land beneath my feet had shaken as my knees gave up and I stumbled back and crashed on to the sofa. Ethan rushed to help me but I was too heartbroken to pay attention to anybody else as I clenched my chest tightly while tears flowed down my eyes like a stream. I looked at him with misery as my chest hurt badly and I struggled to breathe.
I was such a fool to ignore the signs of the doom as Ethan had looked panicked the minute he saw me in the dress and even had a few words with Livia about it. No wonder he kept giving me tensed glances the whole time we were waiting for him to come back.
Here I was dreaming about how he will praise me while not even realizing that I got played again. He said it right that I'm a fool. I am an emotional fool! I even forgot that he still holds feeling for Livia and here I thought that our acting was bringing us closer, making us see each other in different light but I guess it was just me! It was just me!!
I cried loudly as I chocked on my thoughts and looked at him still glaring at me with hatred and venom. I wanted to tear this dress apart but I couldn't bring myself to ruin the thing he once cared for. He must have prepared this dress with full love but sadly it wasn't for me that he did it.
I looked at him once again but he was not looking at me anymore.
Hehe, this is what you get in the end Clarissa?
Haven't you become accustomed to it yet? The man you care about always has another woman in his heart.
With my sunken shoulders I wiped my face and the arguments of Ethan and Livia flew past my ears as I got up in low spirits. I didn't had energy nor any heart left to continue with this act or with this training.
I should just go.
I started dragging myself towards his room when I heard a loud "Wait" it was from the voice that I wanted to hear but it was not the thing I wanted to listen.
Laughing at my dread, I continued walking when a hand grabbed mine and turned me around. I looked at the person with hollow eyes and his eyes darkened at my empty expressions as he hugged me tightly to his chest taking me by surprise. I wanted to wrap my hands around him and question him why he was glaring at me so ruthlessly? I wanted to ask him if he still loves Livia but then my hands stopped mid-way and fell limp by my sides when I remembered we were just acting and this must be a part of this act too. He is hugging me just to ensure them and the questions that I want to ask, I never had any right to begin with. It was all just pretense and it was my fault to take pretense for reality.
Noticing my lack of action, he held me by my face and wiped my tears as he looked in my eyes softly and asked "Why are you crying? It is not your fault."
I know it's not my fault but the humiliation I suffered tonight was the greatest and it is not because of humiliation alone that I am dejected but because of your feelings for her.
"I am sorry" I croaked out without breaking down again.
Holding me tenderly he caressed my face gently and said "You don't need to be sorry. I was not angry at you."
My eyes widened at his words, not at me? Then who?
Putting a hand on my side to support me up, he turned us towards them.
"What do you have to say for yourself about this matter?" Mr. Sylvester asked Livia in a clenched angry tone.
She wasn't faking her smiles anymore as she glared at me repulsively and asked "What did I do wrong? Isn't she your fiancée? I just returned your gift to the right person. You should be thankful to me!" she said putting on high-airs and I clenched my hand in anger for believing her again.
"Thankful?! I will show you how thankful I am!" he was enraged beyond limit as he went to take a step towards her but Ethan came in front of her.
"Brother, please don't. She is my beloved." He requested him but Mr. Sylvester angrily yelled "And she is my fiancée!"
My whole body shook at his temper as I tried to hide myself but he kept a tight grip on me.
"She is innocent and therefore doesn't understands the vicious schemes your beloved plays at and in the end, she is the one who got hurt. What do you have to say about it?!" he pulled Ethan by his collar as he glared at him and said "I forgave you the last time just for the sake of our relationship but that was also the day when I broke off all my relations with you. I have been tolerating both of you just because of the King but bear this in mind if you hurt her again, I will burn both of you!" his words were fierce and unabated and both of them looked dead scared, even I was trembling at his anger. He threw him away and picking me up he walked us towards his bedroom.
Upon reaching his room he didn't put me down, he looked deep in thought and I didn't dare look at his face.
"Put me down" I muttered and he placed me on the bed and I immediately wrapped myself in the blanket. I don't want him to see me in this dress.
"Stay here. I will be right back." He said in his usual tone and I didn't look his way but the minute he walked out my eyes followed the door and a tear grazed my cheeks.
I wanted to cry but I don't have the right to. It was all my illusion, my confusion. But instead of crying I laughed at my situation. Just now when she was doing my makeup, I thought it was not Livia but Alexa and indeed it's her but she has now come back as Livia. I thought I left those people behind but I guess they will never let me go.
Walking towards the washroom I removed her dress and changed into my clothes and stood before the mirror to look at myself as I touched my reflection. This girl looked so happy just an hour ago but now she looks so dead and so ugly.
The memories of Livia befriending me just to hurt me flashed before my eyes. Her sincere apology, her sweet smile, giving me her dress, getting me ready, me waiting for Mr. Sylvester like a fool while she laughed behind me at my stupidity, her smirk and her words, it all made me lose my mind and I punched at the wall in frustration. As the throbbing pain pierced inside me and a stench of blood filled the room, I opened my eyes to look at the shards of mirror falling down and blood dripping from my hands just like my feelings were torn open ...again.
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Ladies and Gentlemen
My Dear Readers,
We finally meet again! I apologize for breaking my promise every damn time!
I promised you guys that I would update in a month when I updated you all about how I lost my things to virus and I did start writing again but you can call it disappointment, anger or frustration that no matter what I wrote I felt that it wasn't upto the mark of what I had written before. So after failing miserably I shut it down and didn't write anything for three-four months (I don't exactly remember) in hopes that I would forget the details of what I wrote.
I had enough of my failures so I wrote this again and I think at some point I wrote some parts better than the previous one, don't ask me about the other parts. I wanted you guys to read this for a pretty long time so I won't take much of your time and you can read other parts now.
Thank your for reading this rubbish note! ;)
Keep supporting this book, keep showing your love with likes, comments and shares.
Thank you everyone who is reading this and I love you all,
From EQ