5:02 p.m.
"A mistake"
Kiwi: this chat not active since Halloween
Kiwi: it 2020 already
Hell-Spiderman: G'DAY CUNT!!
Hell-Spiderman: Ya right Zea!! We gotta get a good ol' barbie party startin' in here!!
Kiwi: you literally barbie youself right now.
Hell-Spiderman: Ah well I sure diddely darn am!! Maybe only a party then, mates!!
Hell Spiderman: Imma get the good boomers in here and ol' mate Goon gon' get some amber fluid!!
Kiwi: tena pea kaore e tino kino, Aussie
Kiwi: @Deutschland
Fourth Reich: Yes, Neuseeland?
Kiwi: get fun here??
Fourth Reich: Who do you want me to add?
Spooky Scary Skeleton: WAIT
Fourth Reich: Yes?
Spooky Scary Skeleton: ZEA DOESNT EVEN HAVE TO BEG? WTF! IM UR PARTNER I NEED BOYFRIEND PRIVILEGEES!
Fourth Reich: Look at Neuseeland and tell me she has to beg to be heard from me.
Gulag: She has a point babe.
Spooky Scary Skeleton: ...
Spooky Scary Skeleton: u r right i guess...
Fourth Reich: Then, Zea, tell me who you want me to add.
Kiwi: i PM you. is surprise
Fourth Reich: Do that.
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: みなさん、こんにちは。
White Death: Oh god it's you.
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: どういう意味ですか？
Spooky Scary Skeleton: not everyone understands ya Japs'
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: My apologies, White Death and Spooky Scary Skeleton.
White Death: Uhhhhhhhm...
White Death: Japani you okay?
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: ...
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: Oh! All of you think I am 日本.
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: Oh heavens no, I am the 日本帝国.
Gulag: English please?
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: My apologies again. I am the Japanese Empire. Japan is my daughter. I will tell her you texted her though.
Spooky Scary Skeleton: WAIT
Spooky Scary Skeleton: J.E.?!
White Death: Gee America calm yo fucks.
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: Oh it's u fuckers lolz.
Hell-Spiderman: Huh
White Death: Hwat a change.
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: Had I known this chat was filled with u bastards I wouldn't have tried being friendly ._.
Spooky Scary Skeleton: wow.
Fourth Reich has added Großdeutsches Reich to "A mistake"
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: !!
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: REICH-SAN!!
Großdeutsches Reich: Grüß Gott, J.E.
Spooky Scary Skeleton: KIWI U ASKED GER TO PUT HIM HERE?!
Kiwi: āe
Großdeutsches Reich: Danke Kind. Ich habe nur darauf gewartet das jemand mich hier rein lässt.
Gulag: ...
Gulag: @Сою́з Сове́тских Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик
Red Army: Что тебе нужно Россия?
Großdeutsches Reich: Grüß Gott, Sowjet.
Red Army: Oh.
Red Army: Привет Рейх.
Red Army: You finally here?
Großdeutsches Reich: Indeed I am. I am mindly insulted that J.E. got here sooner than I though.
Gulag: He's not in the chat. He's on Japan's phone.
Großdeutsches Reich: Ah. Oh well then.
Can I into Space?: Third Reich, may I ask why you left so suddendly when we were answering Yahoo! questions?
Großdeutsches Reich: Oh. I felt uncomfortable answering questions about dogs.
Can I into Space?: But you love dogs?
Großdeutsches Reich: I also have bad memories with dogs. In the war, before I betrayed Soviet, I had two German Shepheards, Blitzkrieg and Anschluss. My leader shot them when they refused to let him into my house.
Can I into Space?: Oh...
Red Army: Reich, we play HOI4 together?
Großdeutsches Reich: Sure. Let's do an campaing where we switch ideologies.
Red Army: !! :)
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: I smell ship ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: Anyhow, Germany-chan, add me an Fa-Ita sometime soon! Imma begone thot myself now. Jap is searching her phone. bye bitches.
Fourth Reich: I will consider it. Goodbye.
2:51 p.m.
"A mistake"
Großdeutsches Reich: Deutschland is freaking out because she can't find the banana bread she just baked so now she thinks she imagened making it the entire time and that she is going mad when in reality, I stole the banana bread from the kitchen after it was done and now im currently eating it as she has a meltdown in the kitchen.
Witchy France: Zut...
Großdeutsches Reich: Update: Half of the bread is gone and so is all of Deutschland's dignity.
God Save the Queen: It looks like Germany has gone
God Save the Queen: bananas.
Witchy France: Did you just-
Red Army: Да.
Red Army: Да, он сделал.
8:34 p.m.
"A mistake"
Großdeutsches Reich: My daughter left me home alone with her boyfriends and one of their dads to go out drinking with her friends. A lesser man might whine a complain, but instead I'm just playing Cumbawamba's 1997 hit "Tubthumping" over and over and over. On the jukebox at their bar. Using the TouchTunes app.
Fourth Reich: THAT'S YOU?!
That other Russia: MISSION ABORD
Big-Tiddy-Goth-GF: ILL HOLD HER BACK RUN REICH-SAMA
Großdeutsches Reich: This brings back memories.
2:23 a.m.
"A mistake"
An Angel: i have a question.
Gulag: Shoot.
An Angel: who is @Großdeutsches Reich?
Großdeutsches Reich: My name's Third Reich and I fuck shit up professionally. So your ex is getting married? I'll crash that shit. You're boss fired you before their companies picnick? I'll show up with tequila and throw hands. Got someone you hate and just wanna fuck their day up? I'm all over that shit. Serving all situations where we customize your service to your liking. Email me for pricing. Services guaranteed with video.
An Angel: oh..
Spooky Scary Skeleton: I AM WHEEZING HPLAY FUJKCING HELK
An Angel: don't forget to breathe!
Großdeutsches Reich: No.
Großdeutsches Reich: Please DO forget to breathe. I'll have fun turning your body into a candle.
5:36 a.m.
"A mistake"
Fourth Reich: Vater and I are currently in Switzerland in the Alps.
Fourth Reich: He needed new medication but Switzerland didn't have it at this moment in time so they offered us to stay in a cabin near their house.
Fourth Reich: It's very snowy and the drive way is often blocked by all that frost/snow.
Fourth Reich: At freaking 3 a.m. I hear Vater searching through the closet. I stand up to look what he is up to.
Fourth Reich: And he just whips out a freaking FLAMETHROWER, looks at me and goes: "I have to de-snow the drive way."
God Save the Queen: WHAT?!
Fourth Reich: A few winters before he originally died, he learned that using his flamethrower was more "efficient" than, oh I don't know, A FREAKING SNOWBLOWER, when it comes to cleaning the driveway. So after every snow fall, he's out there melting the snow with a flamethrower that mind you, has a range of 15 meters. Long story short, the mailman stopped delivering our mail to our old house.
Red Army: Удивительный.
Witchy France: The Germans, always looking for more efficient ways.
5:19 p.m.
"A mistake"
Großdeutsches Reich: I failed my safety course today.
Can I into Nordic?: what happened? :0
Großdeutsches Reich: Well, one of the questions was: "In case of a fire, what steps do you take?"
Can I into Nordic?: and?
Großdeutsches Reich: Apperently, "Fucking large ones.", wasn't the right answer.
Full of DETERMINATION: WHAT A MOOD!!
4:50 p.m.
"A mistake"
Gulag: Pocky game: exists
Gulag: Third Reich: I'm about to ruin this biscuit's career-
Can I into Space?: Co on zrobił???
Spooky Scary Skeleton: I WAS PLAYING THE POCKY GAME WITH GER
Gulag: Reich literally came out of nowhere and chooped that pocky in half with his hand.
Gulag: While they where playing. I have it on camera if you want it, Польша.
Can I into Space?: PM it to me.
Witchy France: Moi aussi!!
Gulag: Сделаю.
11:07 a.m.
"A mistake"
Witchy France: Reich and me were talking in French and this old white bitch in a wheelchair said: "We're in America why don't you speak English", and Reich told her: "You have legs why don't you walk".
Witchy France: I nearly died. I bought him coffee and chocolate.
God Save the Queen: I don't even know how to comment-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Greetings all,
First of, you might be wondering why suddendly, the chapters don't have dates anymore, only times and why they will never have dates ever again.
The reason for that is that I'm not doing that good mentally at the moment. I feel stressed because this is my graduation year. I have to really push myself and work as hard as I can for my plans to work out and to feel ready for the world. This makes me feel stressed, nervous 24/7 and overwhelmed. I've been very prone to mental breakdowns and panic attacks recently. To make writing the Chat Fic easier and not have you guys wait until breaks for another chapter, I decided to take out the dates in every chapter. That way, I don't have to stress over catching up to our current date and can adress things that happen in the world right now.
The second thing I want to explain is my choice to add Third Reich and the other two Axis (+ the USSR). I don't want to explain why I added them but rather why I choose to write them as I do. The simple answer is that this shitshow is supposed to be lighthearted. If I would put the Axis in, but have them follow their "canon" personality traits, there would be too much negativity here and I would simply cease to have fun writing this.
I always strive to give even the baddest, evilest, most unredeemable characters traits, that make them relatable and even likeable. Especially with the Axis, I feel like they deserve to have some likeable traits too. I feel like, if the Axis don't deserve likeable traits, no country does. Every country has done something unbelievably disgusting/revolting or even just a bad thing in their history, no matter if it is colonizing, genociding or simply oppressing other cultures and people. There simply is no country that hasn't done something that makes them not bad in a way.
Countryhumans are not only representing the governments and leaders, but also the people, so we can't just decide to make some countries represent both while some represent just one of them. As bad and horrible as it sounds, the Axis do not represent only their government, but also the people of their nationality. We have to remember that the first people those governments repressed and hurt, were their own. It's why I give them such likeable traits. Because it's the traits of their people or just how I imagine them when not acting for their governments.
It's unfair to put down America and make him represent the people only, ignoring the shit Trump does.
It's unfair to put down the Axis and make them represent the government, ignoring the things their people did.
It's unfair to put down the UK and make him represent both sides of his country.
We have to make all countries represent all people of their nationality. Otherwise, this fandom won't make sense.
I know that I made myself a lot of enemies with saying this. I know and I myself don't like me for saying this but it's the bitter truth. Hate me or love me. We have to finally decide if the countries represent people or government. We have to make it equal.
(Damn I feel ashamed for saying that...)
Third Reich is honestly my most developed CH in terms of headcanons. I really wanna use the more silly headcanons I made and get new ones for the other three big bad baddies of the apocalypse.
Of course, I have traits for them that are... questionable and I can assure you that the Third Reich already has a backstory and I am currently working on one for all other three. Not sure if I'm gonna mention the full backstory here, definitely parts of it.
Thank you for your understanding.
How about something lighter after this... bitter truth of mine?
I wanna give some credit here! The part with Third Reich using a flamethrower instead of a snowblower was inspired by Bluebunny2017's CH book called "Another country humans high school fanfic (what do you expect?)". I've had it in my attic since the moment I read it and was like: "If I ever add Reich, this is what he does.", sooooo shoutout out to them! (Damn I still don't know Blues gender...)
Anyway, I'll see you next chapter!
Sincerely, Exe.
VOCABULARY USED:
tena pea kaore e tino kino, Aussie (Maori) - Maybe not so extreme, Aussie.
āe (Maori) - Yes
Deutschland (GER) - Germany
Neuseeland (GER) - New Zealand
Großdeutsches Reich (GER) - Greater German Reich
Grüß Gott (GER) - Greetings
Danke Kind. Ich habe nur darauf gewartet das jemand mich hier rein lässt. (GER) - Thanks, kid. I have just waited for someone to let me in here.
Grüß Gott, Sowjet. (GER) - Greetings, Soviet.
Vater (GER) - Father
みなさん、こんにちは。 (JPN) - Hello everyone.
どういう意味ですか？ (JPN) - What do you mean?
日本 (JPN) - Japan
日本帝国 (JPN) - Japanese Empire
Japani (FIN) - Japan
Сою́з Сове́тских Социалисти́ческих Респу́блик (RUS) - Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
Что тебе нужно Россия? (RUS) - What do you need Russia?
Привет Рейх. (RUS) - Hello Reich.
Да. (RUS) - Yes.
Да, он сделал. (RUS) - Yes he did.
Удивительный. (RUS) - Amazing.
Польша (RUS) - Poland
Сделаю. (RUS) - Will do.
Zut... (FRA) - Damn...
Moi aussi!! (FRA) - Me too!!
Co on zrobił??? (POL) - What did he do???