Dedicated to jenztingz for making me fall in love with Jenzie again <3 She's amazing and pretty please go read her books X
✰ 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 ✰
I survey myself in the mirror, my green eyes standing out against my pale skin. I'm nervous. Extremely nervous. The pale skin, beating heart and clammy hands are a testament to that.
Should I wear the tux? Or is this date more casual than that? Does it look like I'm going to a funeral– or worse, like I'm a vampire? I thought the black tux with the white dress shirt underneath was perfect for a dinner date, but I can't help second guessing myself. I really want this date with Kenzie to go well.
I've been texting Kenzie on and off throughout the week, wanting to get to know her a little bit more before our date. One thing we did decide on was changing the venue from the beach to a restaurant I had suggested- the weather had packed it in for the week, and it had been raining non-stop for the last few days. It's calming down now, but I think both of us were eager to see each other instead of just cancelling and going another day.
Aside from that, I learnt that she was witty, had a sharp sense of humor, and her favorite emoji is a winking face.
My nerves returned, swelling in my belly like snakes writhing around in a pit. I couldn't seem to calm myself down; my heart kept banging around in my chest and I seemed to get paler and paler by the minute. Yes, I thought to myself, I did look too much like a vampire. Scrunching up my nose, I put my hand in my pocket to take out my phone and rang the only person I could count on to get advice for this sort of thing.
My Dad picked up on the second ring.
"Whats up, son?" He asked, voice cheerful.
"Hi. I have a dinner date in an hour, and I don't know what to wear."
I heard him laugh heartily. "How fancy is the restaurant? Was it your suggestion or hers?"
"Um, quite fancy. Actually, a lot fancy. And it was my suggestion."
"A tux, probably. That's what I wore on my first date with your Mother. She loved it." He was trying not to laugh at me, I could tell.
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, thanks."
"Who's the girl?" He asked slyly. "And who set you up this time? Lauren?"
"Uh..." I ran a hand through my hair, "I asked her actually, it wasn't set up. Well, to be fair, Lauren yelled at me and told me to do it, but I did it myself-"
"Are you... rambling? Like nervous rambling?" He interjected, and I stopped talking abruptly.
"Uh...yes?"
"My God, I never thought I'd live to see the day where you actually got serious about someone." His comment made me sound like a player, but I wasn't. I never formed any sort of attachment to girls simply because once they found out what was wrong with me they ran for the hills. He knew this, of course, and we didn't talk about it often, but he felt bad for me, and often took the blame for it.
"I really like her, Dad."
I could almost feel him smile through the phone. "Tell me about her."
"Her names Kenzie. Mackenzie. I met her on the train on the way home. She has a daughter who's five and a newborn son. She's nice, and funny, and... pretty. Her kids are cute."
"I hate to ask, but what about her kids Dad?" He was probably frowning into the phone, knowing him.
"She hasn't really told me, but she's not cheating on him. I think he's out of the picture. But I don't want to ask. I can wait until she tells me." I sigh.
"Well she sounds great. Just be yourself, son. You're a good guy, I can't see why she wouldn't like you. Remember that. Okay?"
My heart swells. "Thanks, Dad." I felt like I was sixteen again, not twenty six.
"That's okay. Call back tomorrow, let me know how it goes."
"I will."
"Can I tell your mother?"
"Tomorrow, don't want her getting her hopes up."
He laughed. "Okay, talk tomorrow."
"Yep, tomorrow. Bye." I smiled.
"Bye!" He replied, and I turned my phone off, surveying myself in the mirror one more time. I felt more confident now.
Before I chicken out, I swipe my keys off the counter and get into my car.
˚✧₊⁎༄
I'm halfway to the restaurant when my phone starts vibrating in my cupholder and spewing out my ringtone. Ever a good driver, I pull over to the side of the road to answer the call, and my heart stutters in my chest when I see that it's Kenzie ringing me. Please say she didn't get cold feet, I think to myself before sliding my finger across and accepting the call.
"Hello?" My voice sounds shrill even in my own ears.
"Hi. I have a big problem. Like, a I-can't-come-to-dinner problem."
The hope I had in my chest deflates like a balloon. I run a hand through my hair, disheveling it. "What is it?" I ask, dreading her reply.
"My babysitter has bloody cancelled on me. Oliver's screaming again, he might be teething or something– I don't know what's up with him lately to be honest– but anyway, Evie's sick too and I just can't bring them out to dinner with us."
"Oh." Is all I can bring myself to say. It was silent for a bit.
"You could... um, come for dinner at mine though? I still want to hang out with you. I'll cook something nice, we could watch a movie or something?" She offers, somewhat nervously.
I smile warmly, relief flooding my veins. She doesn't want to raincheck.
"Yeah, that would be nice. Where abouts do you live?"
She rattles off the name of an apartment block that just falls short of where we were going for dinner.
"Oh, that's not to far from where I am now. I won't be far away then." I say, hoping that won't be a problem.
"Where are you now?" She asks curiously.
"Like, down the road from where we were going to have dinner?" I reply.
She gasps.
"What?" I ask.
"Oh, I just feel really bad!" She exclaims. "You're probably like all ready, and were looking forward to it, and here I am having mucked up our plans..."
I laugh at how distressed she sounds, like she genuinely cares that she's mucked up when it's not even her fault. "Oh shh you." I tell her. "Don't worry about it. We might even have more fun this way."
"Oh, that's kind of you, but I love dinner dates, and the beach-"
"We've got more than just tonight." I remind her. "We can take our time."
My smile resurfaces, but disappears when I remember that there's something wrong with me that she may not like.
When she replies, I can almost feel her blushing through the phone. "Okay. I'd like that." She says. "See you soon."
˚✧₊⁎༄
Five minutes later, I'm knocking on her apartment door, strangely calm. As I wait, I can hear what I presume is Evie running down the hall.
"Mom!" She yells in her adorable little-girl voice. "Johnny is here!"
I can see her waiting through the glass in the door, and I chuckle. Mackenzie opens the door a few seconds later, smiling like crazy. When her eyes fall on my outfit, and she takes in the flowers I bought for her on the way, her eyes widen.
"Hi." I smile boyishly.
"Hey. Welcome." She replies, grinning and ushering me in.
I step forward, holding out the flowers. "Thanks. You look very pretty in that dress."
A plain blue long sleeve dress is hugging her figure just enough to be child friendly- but it doesn't leave much to the imagination. As always, her clothing looks like she's stepped out of another decade– but it suits her. Her hair is damp, and falls over her shoulders in waves. She's barefoot and fresh-faced, somehow managing to look elegant and casual at the same time. She looks stunning, the epitome of beauty, even though it's clear all she had time to do was shower and change.
She laughs at me and accepts the flowers in my outstretched hand. "Says you. You look very fancy." She winks before bending down to her daughter. "Can you say hi to our guest please little E?"
"Hi." She offers me a small, shy smile.
"Hello Evie." I bend down to her height. "I hear you're a bit sick?"
She nods her head solemnly.
"That's no good." I reply. "Good thing I also brought a lollipop for you then, hey?"
Her face brightened. "Really?"
"Really." I reply, pulling it out of the top pocket of my shirt and offering it to her.
Her tiny little hand grasps it out of my own and she smiles at me before running off down the hall with her new treat, picking at the wrapper as she goes
Kenzie and I are both left crouching down on the ground. We make eye contact, and she smiles. We both straighten up, and I follow her inside as she shuts the door behind us.
"You didn't have to do that." She says.
"Maybe, maybe not. But I promised her ice-cream. A lollipop was the closest thing I could get on a day like this. Plus, little kids remember everything."
Mackenzie laughs. "They really do."
We head into her kitchen, passing cardboard boxes and extremely white walls as we go. No pictures hang on her walls, and currently the only decorations are a cluster of shoes spread out by the front door. The carpet is clean, aside from what I can only assume are Evie's toys occasionally scattered on the floor. This only furthers my theory about Mackenzie's ex-partner. He mustn't be very involved in her kids life.
"New house?" I ask as the room opens out into the kitchen.
"How could you tell?" She sends me a warm smile and I flush a little.
"The boxes. The walls look freshly painted, and the carpet looks new too."
She whistles. "Your'e observant."
I shrug. "I'm an introvert. I think a lot."
"Well lucky for you, I'm an extrovert. We complement each other."
I grin at her obvious flirting, but can't think of a reply.
Mackenzie reaches up into a cabinet and brings down a vase. She fills it with water, and unwraps the plastic. She breathes in the flowers once they're settled, saying, "I love flowers."
"I'm glad." I reply sincerely. We're both quiet then.
Evie saves the day, rushing up to her Mom to hand her her lollipop wrapper. She looks at me, curiously. It's not uncommon for kids to stare at me, especially in my line of work. Kids are inquisitive little beings, and often just stare to try figure me out. She pops the lollipop into her mouth and gestures for Mackenzie to pick her up, which Mackenzie does. They whisper to each other, and I observe them, leaning back onto he kitchen counter.
"Evie wants to know why you are wearing a suit." Mackenzie stifles her giggles with the back of her hand.
"Can I whisper the answer to you?" I ask Evie softly, and she nods. Mackenzie sets her down again and she walks over to me.
"I'm trying to impress your Mother." I say, doing a terrible job at whispering for Mackenzies benefit. Understanding dawns in Evies eyes. She nods and runs away again.
Mackenzie is smiling at me when I straighten up. "She has a habit of doing that. Running away."
"Don't coax it out of her." I watch her as she starts to entertain herself in the living room. "It's cute."
Mackenzie nods at me. "Okay, right. Lets start dinner, yeah?"
"Sure. What are we making?"
"Well, I thought we could make homemade pizzas, because that's fun, and they're Evie's favorite. Unless, of course, you're vegetarian. Then we could make pasta." She replies, a question in her eyes.
"Pizzas sound fun, I've never done that before. And I'm not a vegetarian."
"Okay," She smiles, "Pizza it is."
For the half an hour or so we busy ourselves getting ingredients out of the fridge, chopping them up, and making them into piles. After that we pull out the pizza dough, kneading it, throwing it around and laughing. It's a busy, peaceful silence, where we work in unison, listening to the radio and the sounds of Evie playing with her dolls in the next room over. The sun streams through her windows, on it's way downhill as the day slowly comes to an end. It doesn't feel like the day is ending– I'm feeling more alive by the minute.
"I am sorry." Kenzie turns to me, leaning back against the bench, as she has finished grating the cheese. "About how you got dressed up, and everything, and we're not going out. Sometimes having kids means I have to sacrifice normal things like going out for a dinner date."
"Don't be. I understand completely." I tell her, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye.
She's tense, genuinely stressed about this. "I mean, here I am, having a shower and then just shrugging on a dress, and then you rock up looking like something out of a men's fashion magazine, looking fancy as hell in an expensive suit-"
"Are you done with this tomato paste?" I ask, interrupting her.
"I- um, yes, why?" She looks beyond confused.
I make brief eye contact and tip the paste down my shirt. On purpose.
She gasps. "Why... Why would you- what?"
"I've been looking for an excuse to get a new tux." I shrug.
"I can't tell if you're extremely stupid or extremely rich." She looks at me, narrowing her eyes, but I can tell that she sees the humor in the situation.
I grin, wider than I ever have in a long time, and start to laugh. "Both."
She snorts, which sets me off, and I laugh even harder. If anyone was to walk in on us, they'd think we were crazy– two grown adults struggling to breathe over some spilt pizza sauce.
"Clothes can be cleaned. Here. Do it. It will make you feel much better about the whole dinner date situation, I promise." I say, holding the almost empty bottle out to her, a challenge glinting in my eyes.
She grabs the bottle. "I can't believe I'm about to do this." She then laughs manically before tipping the remainder of the sauce all over the front of her dress.
She gasps at the cold temperature of it (it had been sitting in the fridge) and she looks up at me, shocked. I try not to laugh at her face, but I can't help it. I burst out laughing.
"This has got to be the weirdest date I have ever been on." I say.
"Oh yeah?" She asks, giving me a sly grin. "It's about to get weirder."
Grabbing a handful of flour that we'd been using for the pizza dough, she throws it at me, turning me into Jack Frost. I gape at her as clouds of flour billow in front of me, and cough as it all gets in my mouth.
"You said you wanted a new tux." She says innocently.
"That's it." I reach past her and grab a handful of the cheese she'd been grating. "You're asking for it now."
She tries to dart away as I throw it at her, but doesn't quite manage to. All the cheese sticks to the sauce, looking bizarrely like some sort of weird pasta clinging to her stomach. I laugh at the thought, and she starts pinging pieces of ham at me. When a piece of ham lands squarely in the middle of my forehead, she yells out with delight, throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Headshot!"
I get her then, with a handful of flour, and she shouts out again, sounding frustrated but yet gleeful at the same time. Our hands touch as we both delve into the container of flour, and we throw flour into each others faces. I laugh as her eyebrows quickly turn white, and the flour settles in her hair, making her look like she has an extreme case of dandruff. I try to tell her through my laughter but only manag to splutter and cough.
Grabbing a handful of more cheese, I try to cover her in it but she darts away again, running around the kitchen island to the other side. She pelts pepper, onion and olives at me as I duck under the counter sporadically, trying to pick my next weapon. Eventually I just swipe her glass of water off the bench and douse her in it, watching as it had almost happened in slow motion.
She screams with laughter at the cold water, grabbing my own glass off the bench and trying to run around the other side of the island and get me. I was backing up when she slipped on some extra tomato paste, and fortunately grabbed her before she hit the wooden floor too hard, like I had with Evie on the subway.
We made eye contact with wide grins on our faces, me still clutching onto her arm, before we began to laugh.
Really hard.
Like a I-can't-breathe-and-my-stomach-hurts-laugh.
I fell back onto the floor, elbow hitting the wood, tipped my head back, and laughed my head off. Every time one of us would peter out, the other would start laughing again, and the cycle would repeat.
"What are you doing?" Evie ran into the room and kept asking the same question over and over again.
"I don't know." Mackenzie finally said after calming down, tears in her eyes. "I don't know. You wanna hug, Evie?"
Evie made a face, but Mackenzie grabbed her, laughing, as Evie shrieked and tried to wriggle away. I smiled at the cute family scene unfolding before me. Evie eventually shook free of her Mother's clutches and ran away once again.
"Right." Mackenzie said after a while. "As much as I'd like to sit here and laugh, I really do need to change."
I looked down at my own outfit with a questioning look.
She wrinkled her nose. "Okay, yes, you too. Follow me, I'll probably have something somewhere. I'll give you a house tour too."
"Rightyo." I stood up, offering my hands.
She took them, nodding as a thanks.
I followed her as she briefly showed me all of the rooms; the kitchen and lounge I already knew, but we poked in the doors of the bathroom, Evie's room (which was very pink), Oliver's room (we were quiet, he'd only just managed to go to sleep before I came) and her own room, which was the smallest and yet coziest of them all.
A plain white duvet adorned her bed, along with a couple of red throw blankets. There were bedside tables that held lamps and a variety of other random items, as well as window seat which had a stack of old books and some cushions resting at the head. On the far wall she had a wardrobe, which she opened and multiple things fell out.
She screwed up her nose, an action I was starting to adore, and said "I kinda just shoved everything in after we moved, and now it's coming back to bit me in the ass."
I laughed as she rifled through her clothes to find something suitable. Picking out a faded yellow long-sleeve and leggings, she threw them on the bed.
"Right, now you. Ummm..." She trailed off, thinking. "How bad is it?" She asked, coming up close to survey the damage.
I looked down. "Quite bad."
"Okay. Take it off." She said, waving a hand and turning back to her wardrobe.
I did, shrugging out of my jacket and button up, holding them in my hands when done.
She turned around and went wide-eyed upon seeing me shirtless. I was honestly beginning to love how easily her emotions showed on her face. I tried very hard not to smirk and raise an eyebrow at her.
She gulped. "Oh. We're going to need to find you a shirt."
I smirked and raised my eyebrow.
"Oh shut it." She threw a cushion at me. "You'd be the same if I took my dress off–"
I raised the other eyebrow.
"–Which I'm not going to do, by the way." She huffed, and I laughed.
"Wait there!" She then demanded.
I saluted, and she grinned, dress whirling out behind her as she went.
I sat down on her window seat and waited, careful to not get any stray bits of food on it.
It would be very hard for me not to fall in love with this girl; what with her charming demeanour and unfailing kindness.
A few seconds later she returned, wielding a cardboard box of old stuff. She set it all down with a huff, rifled through it and picked out a mens black shirt and shorts.
"Will these be okay? They might be a bit small, but they'll be better than your tux and your... current state."
"Of course." I replied. "Who's are they?" I couldn't help myself.
"Um, I'll talk to you later, about it. When Evie's in bed."
"Okay. What's for dinner now?" I deflected the conversation.
"I have an idea." Her eyes were glinting with amusement again. "Come down when you're changed."
I saluted again, and she swiped her own clothes off the bed, probably heading to the bathroom to get changed herself. She shut the door behind her.
I liked that. I liked that she didn't want to push the limits on what was technically our first date.
I got changed, and she was right, the clothes were too small. The shorts I could make do with, but the top was definitely a size too small. Thankfully it didn't ride up like a tank top, but it was tight. Oh well, there was nothing I could do, unless I wanted to wear my button up from our earlier food fight.
I walked back down to the kitchen, where I could see Mackenzie wiping tomato paste off the counter and picking up stray pieces of food. She was smiling to herself. I leaned against the fridge. "You need some help?" I asked.
"Mhm." She hummed. "Don't worry too much, I can clean the rest later."
"It's fine." I replied. "I can help."
We worked in a comfortable silence, wiping down all the surfaces that were dirty and putting all the random pieces of food in the bin. When we were done, she called Evie into the lounge.
"Hey little E." She greeted, sweeping her daughter up onto her hip. "I have a deal for you. How about, if you can go to the toilet and get into your jammies all by yourself, we'll have ice cream sundaes for dinner. Just because you've been great this afternoon."
"Yes please!" Evie looked delighted.
Mackenzie carried on. "And maybe if you're lucky, me and Johnny over here can read you some stories before bed."
Evie nodded her head furiously. Mackenzie and I laughed.
"Okay," Mackenzie set her down again, "You come back when you're done."
I turned to Mackenzie when Evie was gone. "Ice cream sundaes?"
She smiled. "Their our favourite."
"Uh, yeah, mine too." I laughed.
Mackenzie started stacking everything upon the counter; sauces, sprinkles, lollies and ice-cream. "We're just so compatible." She joked.
When Evie ran back into the room, successfully having been to the toilet and changed into pink and white polka-dot pyjamas, Mackenzie reached for some tall glasses and we started piling everything in. I went for chocolate ice-cream with caramel sauce, a classic, and Mackenzie went for a scoop of everything with lots and lots of lollies. Evie took about four teaspoons of vanilla icecream and absolutely covered hers in sprinkles. For the next few minutes, we all stuffed ourselves with ice-cream, and then went for another helping.
"I'm full." Evie announced from her chair, huffing.
"Same." Mackenzie agreed with a smile.
I reached over and gently brushed ice-cream off Mackenzie's top lip with my thumb. She blushed.
"Eat it!" Evie chanted, and we both laughed, not breaking eye contact.
"C'mon." Mackenzie said after a while. "Bedtime Evie. You go pick some stories, I'll be there in a minute. I'm just going to check on Oliver, I think he's probably awake now... Why don't you get Johnny to help you?"
Evie outstretched her little hand to me when I stood up. I took it, and followed her down the hall, sending Mackenzie a smile as I went. Evie let go of my hand once we were in her room and tottered over to her bookcase, sliding out a few books which I assumed we her favourites. She handed them to me, shyly.
"These ones?" I asked for confirmation.
She nodded.
I gestured towards her bed. "Do you wanna hop in?"
She nodded again, pulling back the covers of her bed and jumping up and in. Still holding the books, I tucked her in with one hand and sat down on her bed, leaning against the wall. "Which one do you want first?"
"That one." She pointed to the one of top of the pile.
I replied with an okay, opened the book, took a deep breath and then began to read. The book was called Oh the Places You'll go by Dr Seuss. She giggled when I made the characters different voices, and it made my heart swell. Halfway through the book, I noticed her eyes began to flutter a little. She blinked, trying to keep her eyes open. I smiled at that. My heart swelled even more when we started the second book and she leaned her head on my shoulder.
Upon finishing the third and last book, I looked up to see Mackenzie in the doorway. She was smiling.
"Mom, Johnny is better at reading stories than you." Evie said sleepily, and all of us laughed.
"So do you just want him to come round every night and read stories then, is that how it is?"
"Yeah." Evie said, and we all laughed again.
"How's Oliver?" I asked, looking over at Mackenzie as she too sat on Evie's bed.
"Good. Asleep again– for now, anyway."
"Oliver's always sleeping." Evie tells me seriously. "Mom says I have to wait until he's older before he can play with me."
"Ohhh, I see." I nodded my head like I understood.
"Right, little E. It's time for sleep now, okay?" Mackenzie brushed the stray hair off Evie's forehead, a tender action that spoke of the connection they both had.
"Okay." Evie replied, blinking. Her eyes opened wide all of a sudden. "I didn't brush my teeth!"
Mackenzie smiled a motherly smile that made my heart hurt. "Just this once, I think the tooth fairy won't mind."
"Okay." Evie was reassured. She snuggled down into her blankets.
"Goodnight, love." Makenzie kissed her on the forehead. She then looked at me as if to say your turn.
"Night, little E." I said, testing it out.
Mackenzie grinned as if she approved.
"Night." Evie bid us, before closing her eyes. We snuck out of her room on tip toes.
˚✧₊⁎༄
After Evie goes to bed, Mackenzie leads me to the kitchen table. She pushes our discarded ice-cream bowls to the side
and gestures for me to sit next to her. I pull out both our chairs, and wait for her to talk.
Kenzie sits down, as do I, and doesn't make eye-contact when she starts to speak. She stares at the wall in front of her. "I said I'd tell you whose clothes you're wearing when Evie was in bed." Her voice was shaky.
I nodded and then realised that she wasn't looking at me so she wouldn't see me nod. I clear my throat. "Yeah, you did."
She sighs. "They're my ex fiancés clothes. Evie and Oliver's Dad."
"Oh." Is all I can bring myself to say.
With another deep breath, she pulls up the sleeves of her shirt, baring me her forearms. I gasp in shock, for her arms are covered in what looks like very severe burns. From the bottom of her palm to her elbow, her forearm is pinkish, twisted, scarred, and definitely still healing.
She has tears in her eyes when she sees the shock on my face.
"Mackenzie–" I begin, not knowing where the sentence was going or what the hell I was going to say. She'd rendered me speechless. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the burns.
She pushed on. "He was abusive and he didn't want kids. He hated Evie and I hated him for it. He was violent... used to throw things a lot. When I tried to break up with him, on multiple occasions, he raped me, and burned me. I was beyond scared. The nurses that treated me for the burns were the ones that also told me I was pregnant also... I had to get away after that, because I knew he would hate Oliver just as much as he hated Evie. The police got involved, and he went to trial, and has life in prison for what he did, but I still have these scars, these God-awful scars, and they'll always be a reminder of what happened and how scared I was."
She couldn't even look at me after her ramble.
"I'm just going to think for a bit. I want to articulate this right." I manage to choke out.
"Sorry. That was lots of information." She whispers back, still unable to make eye contact.
"It's okay, Kenz." I start, the nickname slipping out before I can really think about it. "I'm so sorry that this ever happened to you. So sorry."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not. It's not okay. It's sick and disgusting and unfair and it's not okay."
It's quiet for a long time.
Eventually, I pluck up the courage to run my fingers up and down the burns gently. She shivers and finally turns to look at me, eyes brimming with tears. I look her right in the eye and bend myself down to kiss the burned skin.
Her tears spill over.
I put my hands over her own. "Don't you ever, ever think these scars are ugly. Because they're the opposite. They're a reminder of how brave and strong you are deep down. Don't you ever forget that."
She sniffs, and then I am crying too, and I am crying for her just imagining how much she had had to go through over the last few years of her life.
"Thank you." She finally says in a small voice. "It's not normally a first date revelation but since you asked about the clothes I couldn't think of what to tell you..."
"I'm glad I know the truth, Kenzie. It makes me trust you a lot more."
She nods, wiping at her eyes.
"Hug?" I ask gently, and she nods, tears brimming over again.
I close the gap between us and curl my arms around her waist, holding her tight. She buries her head in my shoulder and wraps her arms around my neck, gently stroking the hair at the nape of my neck as if I am the one that needs reassurance. As if I am the one that is hurting.
In a way, I am.
We pull away after a long time, and she puts her hand on top of mine this time.
I clear my throat. "I have something I want to tell you too."
"Okay." Short answers are all we can manage at the moment.
"I can't have kids." I blurt out.
Mackenzie looks momentarily stumped. "I– Can't or won't?" She asks.
"Can't." I swallow, hard. "I'm infertile."
Her lips part in shock as she waits for me to tell her more.
"I found out when I was nineteen. I don't have an actual medical condition, like I'm not missing any chromosomes and I don't have any diseases... My sperm is just basically shit at being sperm and doing what it's supposed to do and therefore I can't have kids."
I'm beyond embarrassed, but if Mackenzie can tell me about how she was raped, then I can do this for her.
"But... You can still, you know..." Mackenzis trails off, a question in her eyes.
"Have sex?" I fill in the gap, my mouth quirking up at the corners despite the serious tone of the conversation.
"Yeah." Her cheeks are red.
"Mhm." I say, half-smiling. "I can."
"Well that's great. I don't have to bother with contraception then." She shrugs.
I cough, cheeks reddening at what she's managed to insinuate. "You're not bothered by... it?"
She frowns. "Should I be?"
"My last two girlfriends broke up with me when they found out. I haven't dated in years because of this, Kenzie."
Her nose screws up in confusion. "Those girls must be extremely rude. That's incredibly insensitive and selfish. I can't imagine ever making someone feel like shit because of a physical imperfection."
And that's when I knew. That's when I knew that we were going to work. That's when I knew that she was the one. Because our different experiences meant that we had shared knowledge and an understanding of eachother that most couples couldn't compare to.
I nodded, acknowledging her statement. "It's why I became a paediatrician." I said somberly.
"I wasn't joking, when I said I wasn't bothered by it. All couples have their issues. All people have their issues. We just work through them together."
I nodded along, throat constricting. "That means a lot. Thanks."
She stood up and I did too. Without a word, we both enveloped each other in a hug. This time, it was different. This time, her head was tucked into my chest. This time, my hands ran up and down her forearms, as if I could smooth out the scars by my touch. This time, it felt like I was falling in love.
I kiss the top of her head.
"I can't comprehend how much I like you already." She mumbles into my shirt.
I smile, whispering back, "Same here."
˚✧₊⁎༄
AUTHORS NOTE
5880 words binchessss
i'm going to keep this short
but let me just tell you
i have been wanting to write this for a very long time
like,
a
very
long
time
anyways
please please please vote and leave a comment below, i'd really love some constructive criticism or any complements would be nice considering I spent like my whole afternoon writing this yesterday (literally) <3
also
PART 3 OR NEW ONESHOT??
COMMENT HERE
also
NEW ONESHOT COMES OUT AT 100 VOTES AND 100 COMMENTS
love you all so much and hope u enjoyeddddd xoxox