A few weeks have passed and I'm somewhat getting used to life as an alpha. For most part not much has changed. I'm still the same person I've always been... haha. Totally the same... it's just that I'm stronger, a little taller, get angry a lot easier, can smell alphas and omegas, accidentally use my commanding alpha voice to order people around, bite my tongue all the time because my fangs are growing out, become possessive of everything I own, am more competitive over mundane things, have a lot less patience for everything, and not to mention that my sexual desires have skyrocketed and gotten harder to deal with. Literally harder to deal with.
I'd do anything to be normal like the others. Even though they don't say anything about it I know they think I'm annoying, and personally I know how much of an asshole I am most of the time even though I try to keep it in. I used to look down on alphas who were mean and greedy, but I realize now how difficult it is to control yourself. Of course it's not an excuse, but it's part of the reason.
The one good think I can think of that's happened since I presented as an alpha is that I've caught up to everyone else on the swimming team. I gain muscle mass easier and it's improved my performance. Too bad it's also made me a sore loser every time someone is better than me, especially since most of them are alphas.
I'm thankful that my hyungs are betas because that means I don't have to deal with any scents or competitions at home. Technically I'm the head of the pack since I'm the only alpha, but it's already been quietly decided years ago that Namjoon is the leader. I don't want to start any fights, and I don't even want to be a leader in the first place but my instincts make me do and think things I don't actually agree with.
I've started meditating and spending more and more time alone so that I don't mess with people on accident. The meditation helps me calm my nerves and clear my head. In time I'll hopefully be able to regain the control over myself and become who I used to be again.
I'm in the middle of a meditation session on the couch when I suddenly hear loud swearing from the bathroom.
"FUCK. FUCK. FUCK." From the sound of it it's Seokjin.
I take a deep breath and get up to see what's going on. I knock gently on the door and the cursing stops abruptly.
"Jin-hyung, are you alright?" I ask.
A painful silence ensues after my question, and just as I begin to panic that something bad actually happened Seokjin answers.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing for you to worry about," he says dismissively.
"OK, if you say so," I reply, but I'm still not convinced.
Although I know it wrong and frankly a bit creepy, I pretend to walk away only to quietly sneak back and put my ear against the door. It's quiet aside from Seokjin's heavy breathing. I'm about to accept that he's just taking a dump or something, but right then a hushed voice starts speaking on the other side of the door.
"Hello? Yes, it's me. I'm all out."
There's a short silence where both Seokjin and I are listening intensely, until he starts talking again, sounding pretty desperate but still remembering to keep his voice down.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?! I don't care about the time limits! We've already passed it years ago either way! How am I supposed to life my life without it?! I have a future to think about, also don't you know that I'm living with-"
I press my ear harder against the door when Seokjin goes quiet. What is he talking about and who is he talking to?
"Exactly. It's dangerous either way. Prolong the prescription and make sure I get them as soon as humanly possible. We'll both be in trouble if you don't."
The conversation Seokjin was having apparently ends there and I hurry away before I get busted with eavesdropping. I throw myself down on the couch again and pretend to look at my phone when Seokjin comes out of the bathroom. I feel his wary eyes on me before he walks into his room.
I didn't realize I was so tense until I relax after hearing the door close. I don't know what to make out of what I just heard. Is Seokjin in danger? What prescription was he talking about? I can't remember seeing him eat any type of medicine except when he's sick. He sounded so angry too... could it be? No, Seokjin would never be doing drugs, right? But it's clearly something that he doesn't want anyone to know about so there is a possibility. If that's the case then I will make sure I stop whatever he's doing, but first I need to make sure if it's actually medicine or drugs that I'm dealing with.
⩶ΑβΩ⩶
Seokjin seems to be acting normal when we all sit down to eat the takeout that we ordered for dinner so my worries are stilled for the time being. He doesn't look sick in any way either so that's reassuring as well.
I reach over the table to grab some more water and when I do that a sweet scent tickles my nose. I stop halfway over the table to try and figure out what it could be. It's very faint but it seems to be coming from Seokjin.
"Hyung, did you get a new perfume?" I ask casually as I sit back down with the water in hand.
Seokjin's eyes grow wider from the sudden question but he continues eating his food in a calm manner.
"No, but I did use a new shampoo earlier. Why do you ask?"
I shrug and sip on my water.
"Just thought you smelled nice."
Taehyung who's sitting next to Seokjin leans over and smells his hair.
"Yeah it does smell a little fruity, like strawberry," he says after a few sniffs.
"Strawberry? I'd say it smells more like vanilla or something."
"Vanilla?" Taehyung huffs. "Bro, you're crazy. He doesn't smell like vanilla at all."
"Ok, can we stop talking about Jin-hyung's hair now?" Hoseok intervenes. "I'm trying to enjoy the food here."
We quiet down and start talking about other things, but I can't get the thought out of my head. I'm certain Seokjin smelled more like vanilla, I can feel it even now. Am I imagining it? Why wouldn't Taehyung be able to smell it if he's sitting right next to him? If I'm the only one who can feel it then is it the smell of an alpha or omega? But that's impossible because Seokjin hasn't left the building all day...
A sharp pain in my tongue brings me back to reality and when I feel the taste of blood I realize I bit myself again.
"Fuck..." I mutter as I stick my tongue out in hopes of getting rid of the pain.
"Language," Namjoon warns.
"Did you bite yourself again?" Jimin asks teasingly and pats my back. "Keep doing that and one day you'll end up mating yourself," he says with a chuckle.
"Ha ha, very funny, Hyung. I'm in pain, but go ahead, keep making fun of me."
Here I am being an asshole again. I can't even take a joke. It's so annoying.
A drop of blood drips down on the table and I grab a piece of tissue to wipe it up and try and stop the bleeding.
"Woah, they're actually pretty prominent now," Taehyung points out while not so discreetly staring into my mouth to check out the teeth. "No wonder you keep biting yourself when you have fangs like that."
The rest of the crew gather around to get a better look and Jimin even forces my mouth open.
"Damn, what are you a vampire?" Yoongi teases. "Maybe you bite yourself unconsciously to get a taste of blood?"
Aside from me and Seokjin they all laugh at Yoongi's joke. I look up at Seokjin who's standing a bit further away to try and figure out why he isn't making fun of me like the rest, but to my surprise he looks a bit... scared? Is it because of the teeth?
"Alright that's enough clowning for one day," I say and shake them off, accidentally scratching Jimin's thumb with the tip of my tooth.
Jimin shouts dramatically and holds his hand as if it's about to fall off.
"Oh no, he bit me! Am I his mate now? What if my blood is so delicious he'll come back for more?"
"Hyung..." I sigh while the rest are laughing loudly.
They don't seem to be planning on stopping anytime soon so my patience finally runs out.
"Ok, that's it! I'm done with you guys messing with me!"
I get up from the table and start heading out to the hallway. Maybe I should go to the pool to swim for a bit.
"Kookie, wait. We were just joking!" Jimin yells after me. "Come back! You still have food left on your plate."
I stop and look back into the kitchen with a pout, wondering if I should go back or not. My stomach growls and I decide to at least finish my food.
"Aw, look, our little vampire's back! Perhaps he's here for blood," Hoseok laughs.
"The only blood he gets is from his own mouth," Namjoon adds.
Something snaps inside of me. Even if I know they mean well I've had enough of their teasing and it's time for them to stop.
"Can you just shut up and sit down?!" I yell at them while accidentally using my commanding alpha voice.
I haven't learned to control it yet and might have used it a bit too harshly because they all freeze with their knees half bent as if they're about to sit down and stare at me without a word. At least they do until Seokjin falls down to his knees on the floor with a loud thud. He looks as shocked as the rest of us as to what just happened and quickly gets back up on his feet.
"Hyung, are you Ok?" Hoseok asks worriedly.
"Yeah, I just got a bit startled and lost my balance," he replies while brushing off his knees.
I take a step forward but Seokjin notices and slides one foot backwards.
"I'm sorry, Hyung. I didn't mean to scare you. I still don't know how to control myself properly," I explain apologetically.
"No, it's fine. I'm probably just a bit tired," he says to try and end the conversation but I still find it strange, especially considering what I overheard earlier during the day.
I walk up to him and place a hand on his shoulder, definitely noticing the slight flinch it ensues. I gently massage the nape of his neck to try and calm him down.
"You sure that's it?" I ask.
Seokjin eyes me with what seems to be something more towards nervousness and it furthers my suspicions that he's definitely hiding something.
"Yes, of course I'm sure," he finally answers confidently, the nervousness gone from his eyes.
I reluctantly remove my hand, deciding it's best not to push him too hard, at least not in front of everyone else. I grab my chopsticks to finish my food, but as I bring my hand closer to my face the sweet scent of vanilla reaches my nose again. I take a second to sniff my hand that was on Seokjin's shoulder just moments ago and it makes my stomach turn in an oddly pleasing way. The scent is faint but it reminds me of home, safety and something more foreign and exciting too. It's really nice.
"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" Taehyung asks and I realize all six of them are staring at me in horror as I almost licked my hand.
I quickly wipe if off against my pants in case my tongue touched it.
"N-nothing. I thought I got some sauce on my hand, is all," I say and laugh awkwardly.
"Right..."
They seem suspicious but end up not asking anything else about it, which I very much appreciate. Did I really just try to lick my hand because it smelled nice? Gross! Control yourself, Jeon Jungkook!