IZZIE HAD NEVER BEEN KISSED LIKE THIS BEFORE. Sure, Casey and her had kissed once, but there were many differences between their first kiss and the one they were sharing now.
Their first kiss, like many first kisses, had been soft. It was the sort of kiss where you're testing the waters, exploring a new and exciting thing. Overall, the kiss was gentle. It was a brand new feeling, but it just felt so right that it was familiar and comforting at the same time.
This time, Izzie knew how good it felt to kiss Casey. She remembered how perfectly their lips had melded together, and she never wanted to let go. When she had kissed the brunette the first time, she didn't know that they would get into a fight the same day. She didn't know that they would never kiss again for another week. Back then, she didn't know how easy it was to lose someone forever, and Izzie knew that if Casey hadn't kissed her this night, she probably wouldn't have ever kissed her again.
So Izzie treated this moment like it could never happen again. Although she had been a bit upset with Casey before, Izzie let her resentment wash away as she began to remember what was so amazing about the track star in the first place. She realized that nothing was worth losing Casey over and decided that she would definitely be forgiving her.
As she realized this, Izzie brought one hand to Casey's cheek and brought the other to the back of her neck, pulling her just a little closer. Casey was still soaking wet from walking from the rain, and Izzie could feel the water getting on her shirt, but that was the least of her worries. Izzie deepened the kiss, trying to make the magical moment last forever. There was a passion and fire in the kiss that Izzie had never experienced before. Not with Nate. Not with Sawyer.
After several long moments, Izzie pulled back slightly, bringing both of her arms and resting them on Casey's shoulders. Her hands met loosely behind Casey's neck. The brunette had both arms on Izzie's waist, even though it was a bit cumbersome for her to do so with her cast. Casey rested her forehead on Izzie's, and Izzie was immediately brought back to the night of their forehead promise. She felt the deja vu, but she was glad to know that this time, their moment wouldn't be interrupted.
The raven-haired girl stayed quiet for a few moments, just soaking in the moment. There they were, on her front porch, on a storming summer day. Izzie heard the booming thunder yet again from the distance, but she didn't care. She was here, with Casey. Casey was here. The track captain took in several short breaths, closing her eyes for a moment as she tried to catch her breath.
"Izzie?" Casey's voice finally broke the silence. It was barely above a whisper, but Izzie immediately opened her eyes and looked into Casey's. Meeting Casey's eyes sent shivers down her spine. "Do you still want me to go? The rain's supposed to lighten up... I can go now."
"No, no," Izzie shook her head slightly. "Stay, please stay."
Casey bit her lip, almost as if she was trying to keep herself from smiling. But Izzie could tell that she was brightening up. It made her happy to know that Casey was happy, even if she was trying to hide her emotions with a poker face.
"Are you sure?" the brunette questioned. "We can work it out later... I'm sure you didn't plan to have a house guest right now. And you must be still mad at me."
"Newton, I promise you, we're good," Izzie smiled slightly, placing a hand on Casey's chest. "I accept your apology, okay? Seriously, I know you were being sincere, and you just being here reminds me... Well, I just could never afford to lose you."
"Are you being real right now?" Casey asked, almost in disbelief.
"Yeah, dummy," the raven-haired girl giggled. "You mean so much to me, Case, and this week has only proven how much I missed you. I was just being a hard-ass who was too stubborn to admit that to you."
Casey reached her good arm and brushed a lock of Izzie's hair out of her face before pulling her into a brief kiss. "You mean so much to me, too," she admitted, her hand still on Izzie's cheek.
"Yeah?" Izzie replied, raising her eyebrows slightly. "Then why don't we go inside now? You're still totally drenched, and now I'm a bit soaked, too. I'll grab us a change of clothes and we can talk, sound good?"
"Sounds perfect," the brunette nodded, grasping Izzie's hand as she led them into the house.
***
Casey was finally dry. Izzie had let her go upstairs to change out of her soaked jacket and clothes into a pair of her sweats and her Clayton Track t-shirt. Just putting on Izzie's t-shirt was thrilling to Casey. The shirt smelt like Izzie's faint scent of vanilla, and though Casey had a shirt just like it at home, this shirt just felt like it fit better than hers. Wearing Izzie's shirt made Casey feel like she was Izzie's, and that made her feel good.
Whoa, Casey stopped her barreling train of thought. She was far from Izzie's right now. They were still supposed to talk it out right now, and she still didn't really know where they stood. After all, Izzie still had Sawyer. So Casey took in a few deep breaths, praying to a god she didn't fully believe in that this conversation would go well.
Casey walked out of the room to the staircase overhang, looking down to find Izzie all dry and changed as well, sitting on her living room couch while skimming through some fashion magazine. As she made her way down the steps, Casey almost felt like she was intruding on this picturesque scene. Izzie was so casually gorgeous, only wearing a sweatshirt and shorts, but still looking stunning as always. She held the magazine with some sort of regal poise, and with her legs crossed, Izzie practically looked like a model shooting some domestic scene for a magazine promotion.
Inadvertently, Casey started slowing down just to take in the moment. She felt like she was seeing a totally different side of Izzie. Izzie was normally pushing herself on the track, studying as hard as possible, taking care of her siblings, goofing off with Casey, etc. Casey barely could remember a moment where Izzie was alone and really just being herself. It was strange to see this side of Izzie, but it was comforting to know that Izzie was letting her see that side of her.
"You're breathtaking," Casey thought to herself.
"What?" Izzie looked up, setting the magazine down on a nearby table.
Casey's eyes widened. Had she said that out loud? She immediately began spluttering out a response while tripping over her words. "Oh- um... wha? Iz... nothing. I didn't say anything."
Izzie smiled mischievously, a knowing glint in her eye. "Right. Nothing at all."
The brunette rolled her eyes with a dumb grin on her face, walking down the final steps and coming over to sit right next to the raven-haired girl. Both girls stayed quiet for a bit, soaking up the energy of the room. Casey had so many thoughts running through her head, and she really did not know where to begin.
Luckily, Izzie broke the silence. "I've missed you," she admitted.
"I've missed you, too," Casey echoed, turning so that she could face the girl next to her. Izzie did the same. "You are just... so wonderful, and sweet, and gorgeous, and way too forgiving to me. This week has only reminded me of that."
"Don't sell yourself short, Case," Izzie said, reaching over to cup Casey's cheek. "You're absolutely amazing, too, you know? I remember, the night following, uh... the crash, I spent some time with your parents-"
"Oh, I swear to God. If Elsa said something embarrassing for me, it is over for her," Casey grumbled.
"No, no, not at all," Izzie giggled, putting her hand on Casey's shoulder. "I just remember how worried your parents were. And how your dad would always be asking for updates from the doctors he knew and how your mom was absolutely going insane waiting for the results. It was just unbelievable to me to know that you've touched their lives like that. Like, I get that they're your parents, but still, I don't think either of my parents would've ever done that for me. It's just crazy to me how much some people can mean to one another."
Casey's heart broke just a little bit, knowing that what Izzie said rang true in her life. Her parents were terrible and unappreciative of her, even though she was absolutely perfect. Casey wanted Izzie to know that she deserved the world, and she knew that it was going to be her new mission to do so.
"You mean so much to me, Iz," Casey insisted. "You've got to know that by now. You are such an important part of my life, okay? And I'm always reminding myself how lucky I am to just be here with you. So don't think you don't mean anything to anyone."
"Thanks, Case," Izzie smiled slightly. "You mean a lot to me, too, and I'm glad you came tonight. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Luckily, you don't have to know," Casey said smugly, punctuating the end of her sentence by pulling Izzie into a kiss. It had only been maybe half an hour since they had last kissed, but it still felt like eternity. Casey just had no patience when it came to Izzie. It felt like forever whenever they were apart, and now that they had kissed several times before, Casey just had to give in and kiss Izzie again.
Casey used her good arm to wrap around Izzie's neck, pulling the other girl in as their lips moved together in sync. They kissed deeply and passionately, and Casey felt the same passion that she had felt earlier. The kiss felt good. It felt right. So Casey decided that she would take it a step further. She bit slightly on Izzie's lip and pushed Izzie backwards so that she fell with her back onto the couch.
But before the kiss could go any further, a phone rang. Casey pulled away, distracted by the noise, and tried to collect herself. She sat up, bringing Izzie up with her. Izzie looked a bit frustrated, and honestly, Casey couldn't blame her. They were finally getting somewhere, and once again, someone had to interrupt.
"If that's Elsa, I am so sorry," Casey called out to Izzie as she set off to try to find the phone that was the culprit of the noise. "She really can't be three-for-three like this."
"It's not," Izzie said, looking distracted as she studied her phone in her hand. "It's Sawyer. I... I have to take this."
With that, Izzie briskly walked out of the room, leaving Casey alone with her thoughts, which were now completely filled with guilt. She had never wanted to be a homewrecker, but now she was one. She was tearing apart Izzie and Sawyer's relationship, and though she didn't know Sawyer all that well, Casey knew that she didn't deserve any of this. She wondered if this was how Nick felt.
So when Izzie returned from her call, Casey decided to tread lightly, much like she did that day in the hospital. She stood to meet Izzie as she came back into the room.
"Hey," Casey started, sweet and simple.
"Hey."
Casey furrowed her eyebrows. Izzie was there, in front of her, but she felt like something was off now. Her eyes were a bit vacant, and her words came out softly, like a whisper. Casey didn't really know how to handle it, so once again, she treaded lightly.
"So... what did Sawyer want?"
"Nothing, just checking in," Izzie shrugged it off. "We just haven't hung out in awhile, so I guess I could've expected her to call."
The brunette stayed silent, studying Izzie's facial features and trying to decipher the storminess behind them. She knew that there was little she could say to make it better, but she had to try. After all, she had caused all this.
"Izzie, are you okay?" Casey asked, hesitantly reaching out to grasp her hand. "I know I'm probably not the one you want to talk to about this. I'm probably the last person you'd wanna talk to about it. But I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. And I... I think I kinda know what it's like."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Like, when I was with Evan, every minute I spent with you just made me feel guiltier. And don't take it the wrong way, I loved spending time with you, which made it ten times worse, you know? Like, this was all like pre-crash, so I mean, I had no reason to not like him. He was really nice and great to me and all, and it was hard to accept that I somehow couldn't reciprocate all of that. And it made me feel so guilty that I only felt those things for someone else. So I get what you're feeling. I'm sorry for putting you in this place, Iz."
Izzie nodded, wiping a tear that had escaped from her eye. Casey pouted at the sight, reaching out and cupping Izzie's cheek. As another tear fell down, Casey pulled Izzie into a giant hug, letting the shorter girl bury her face in her shoulder.
"I just... I feel like such a terrible person," Izzie said in between deep breaths, as if she was trying to calm herself down.
"You're not, though," Casey insisted. "You're wonderful and amazing and sweet and awesome. I know we did a bad thing, but please don't let that define what you think about yourself. Because you aren't a terrible person. We just... made a mistake."
It hurt Casey to call the idea of her and Izzie a mistake, but she knew that, at the moment, it must've seemed like a mistake to Izzie. And she sympathized. When Izzie had come along, Casey had still been going strong with Evan, and the night of their forehead kiss, she had brushed it away as just a simple silly mistake or something. She had thought that it was nothing real, just a stupid, awkward moment that teen girls shared. But as Casey began to realize how real her feelings were for Izzie, it scared her, so she bottled them up deep away until they forced their way out. And though Casey was now finally ready to admit her true feelings to the world, she totally understood that Izzie wasn't ready.
"You're not a mistake, Newton," Izzie whispered. Casey barely heard what she said, but she heard nonetheless, and it made her smile secretly. "You're one of the best things in my life, and I'm sorry I have to put this on you. I just need a few days... I need to figure out how to tell Sawyer or something. Then, I promise, we can truly spend time together. Can you please give me just a few days?"
Casey hated the idea that Izzie and her would have to be put on the back burner for yet another period of time, but she wasn't going to let any stupid argument get in the way of them again. She had made the mistake of letting Izzie go far too many times, and she was not going to let anything take Izzie away from her again. She was determined to do anything to keep the raven-haired girl by her side.
So with a heavy heart, Casey nodded. "Of course, Iz. Take your time."
And even though Casey was dreading the thought of being apart from Izzie yet again, the smile that she got from Izzie in response just made all of her resentment wash away.