The minute I open my eyes, I curse under my breath.
The sight is all too familiar to me. White walls, white ceiling, persistent beeps of the machines - everything. What's new, though, is the machine hooked up next to me. It takes me a good ten seconds to realize that I was given a tube to breathe in and breathe out of. I struggle to sit up as I stare around the hospital room groggily. What happened? How did I end up here?
My eyes wander towards the nightstand next to my bed. A single paper rests on it, folded with creases on the edges. I bend over and grab it, slowly unfolding the paper. I read it once, twice, then three times. My eyes widen as they water. For what reason, I don't know. I shake my head, screaming, only finding out that I can't. All I hear is a hoarse whisper as I sob, "Nick."
My tears roll down my face and onto the paper, ruining it by messing up the ink. I furiously wipe away my tears as I hear footsteps which seem to become more audible. I quickly fold the note, and in case the doctor or whoever's coming and sees it, frantically find a place to hide it. Just as the door opens, I slip the note under my leg and lay back down on my bed.
"Kayla! Oh god, I was worried sick of you! Who did this to you? Oh, my baby..." I find myself being embraced by my mother. Even though I feel a bit weak, I hug her back softly and sob into her shoulder. My emotions seem to be flooding the dam I built inside of me.
Everything happens so fast, that I almost tell myself to sit down from the rush of things, even though I'm already in bed. I keep quiet the whole time as Mom tells me how much she missed me. I realize that nobody else came with her. I really want to see my siblings.
My mom has changed a lot in the past couple of months. She has more worry lines engraved in her face. Her hair is starting to gray - it must be from stress. She's rather young, hasn't reached her forties yet, so the fact that she's been so concerned about me makes me feel so guilty. I feel guilty for leaving her, even though she asked for it. I should have refused. Obviously, she didn't mean it. Parents, especially mothers, often say things to their children in which they don't mean to say. She must have said those things out of anger.
I still feel a little hurt. My heart hasn't been mended fully yet, after seeing my mom's shocked and disappointed face that day. And it doesn't help that while my mom's talking right now, I'm thinking about Nick and Harun.
"Huh?" I ask after I realize my mom is staring at me expectantly.
"Have you been crying lately? Don't lie to me, honey," she says softly.
I almost tell her yes, but then I'd have to go through explaining everything that has happened. She'll just call it "boy drama". She won't understand. After those horrific dreams/flashbacks I've had, I don't want to repeat the same things again.
"Have you?" I finally inquire.
She sighs. "Yet you're still stubborn." She smiles wholeheartedly, even though there's a hint of sadness in her eyes. "Yes, Kayla, I have. But now that I've found you, after so long, I'd get to take you home."
"Wait." She beckons to me to continue when she senses my hesitation. "Can I, um, say goodbye to everyone?" My voice is still yet hoarse, and I know I'm losing it, but all I wish for is to see every single person that I'm going to leave soon.
She nods slowly. "Of course. I'll drive you there once the doctors let you leave."
I groan. "I don't like staying in the hospital."
"I know, I know, but you have to bear with it." She pauses, looking at my forehead. My hand snakes up to it and I feel wet blood on my fingers, and quickly wipe it off the bandage around my head. I also realize I'm not wearing my hijab. The hospital had one job. "What happened?"
I shrug my shoulders. "I'm asking myself the same thing."
"What's the last thing you remember?"
"Waking up."
"Before you woke up, honey."
I rack my brain as I ponder over what happened. I start remembering bits and pieces. "Well, I didn't want to bother Ruwayda to-"
"Who's she?" she asks, her overprotective-mom-alert tone lacing her voice.
"One of the people who took me in. Anyways, she does so much around the house already, so I decided to take the city bus. I-"
"That's dangerous! Do you know what could have happened?'
The irony of the question almost makes me laugh. "Duh, Mom. Anyways, I saw these group of people all clad in black and leather and stuff, and I was thinking 'Oh my god, they're gonna kill me'. But that didn't happen, thankfully. So, school was just across the street, so I walked, and I heard footsteps, and I fell, I saw blood, a needle was stuck in my arm, and I wasn't freaking out, but now I am, and-" I look up at my mother's shocked face. "-I closed my eyes. And I think that's how I ended up here.
"But I think I know who injected me with that sleep syrum. It was this guy from school. He's always harassed me and..." I trail off, unable to finish the sentence.
My mom hugs me again, and this time she sobs. She cries so hard, I feel her body vibrating as she hiccups violently, ceasing to calm down. Her arms envelope around me tight, and I hug her back, and we just sit there, letting our emotions pour out, letting out all the pain that we've kept within ourselves to fall free, like mother and daughter.
***
I find out that I've been knocked out for around five days, and that Harun and his family constantly visited me during that span of time. Even Ali seemed so remorseful and empty, which I've been taken aback by. Harun was supposed to return back to Massachusetts a few days ago, but he got permission to stay until the end of this week.
Everyone was so relieved that I was okay. Blake, however, wasn't. I came to learn that Nick saved me from being abducted, yet again, by stabbing him in the stomach. Once he healed, he was taken into the police department along with Stephanie, their 'boss', and the other two morons who were part of that group. They were all interrogated and arrested, having their boss serving at least ten years for charges of abduction and selling drugs. All the others have been arrested for at least three years, without bail.
I now sit in my room (a.k.a. Hafsa's old room) and stare at Nick's note. I've been reading it so many times that I'm afraid I know every single word.
I spread it out in front of me and read it yet once again.
First of all, I want to let you know how sorry I am. I know that you might not probably forgive me for what I've done, but I promise, this is the last you'll see and hear of me.
I want to start by telling you what happened. I saw you get off a bus. I was walking with Blake - we just came back from a coffee shop - and he handed me a dagger, while he was holding a syringe in his hand. He ran, and injected you with it. I wasn't thinking. I stabbed him. You both fell, but all I was worried about was you.
One of you your friends saw what happened. She was horrified, and I couldn't stand how hurt she looked. During the midst of that, I heard police sirens. I looked across the street and saw Stephanie. I suddenly knew she called the police. I was confused. I knew she hated you. It didn't make sense.
I was taken in for interrogation, and fortunately, the police let me go, but I was still guilty regardless.
I don't know the anguish and pain you've been through - I really don't. But I know that I've caused you that anguish and pain. No amount of words can express how sorry and guilty I feel. I feel so miserable, seeing your wistful face.
I'm sorry I was never understanding.
I'm sorry that I've caused you so much pain.
I'm sorry that I was so stupid for thinking that things would always go my way.
I'm sorry for falling in love with you.
I'm sorry for walking into your life and ruining it.
That's why I've stepped out.
Bye Kayla."How long have you kept that note?"
I scream, bewildered and terrified by the sudden question piercing the silence. I jump up, breathing heavily, and feel Harun's arms on my shoulders. I shrug them off and back away. "Don't scare me like that again."
"How long?" he reiterates, his tone cold and hard. I flinch at his tone as his green eyes give me a patronizing stare.
"Why does it matter?" I question, fear crawling on my skin. I've seen him mad before, but now it's different. This side of Harun actually scares me.
He takes a step forward, and I take two backwards. "Just tell me."
"I would have told you if you weren't so harsh towards me."
His eyes soften only a few seconds before he returns back to his rigid composure. "Kayla, tell me before-"
"The wedding is going to be perfect! Maymunah and Harun are going to look so adorable together!" Ruwayda exclaims from across the hall. At first, I think she'll come here and see me and Harun alone, but she I hear her going downstairs.
My eyes sting as I stare at Harun. He seems confused, of course. He doesn't know. "I've had it for two days, okay?" I throw the note at him and sniff. "And congratulations. I'm happy for you." I leave the room, my tears falling faster than I'd like them to. I go outside to the patio, the breeze whipping my face. The tears fall profusely. My heart aches so bad, that I'm afraid it'll fail to beat again. How could I have been so stupid?
I told myself not to fall in love. But I've learned my lesson. There's no such thing as not loving someone. Your heart overpowers your brain. You want this to happen, but your heart does something else. It leads you to so much suffering and pain, that you wish that you haven't met the guy you have fell in love with so drastically and pathetically.
The back door opens. I quickly wipe away my tears as Ali looks at me. "Are you okay?'
"Give me the phone."
"Wh-"
"Just give it to me," I snap. I feel bad for Ali as he looks at me with wide eyes before getting the phone for me.
Once he returns and hands me the house phone, I ask him, "That day I ended up at the hospital... Why did you look so shocked?"
"What are you talking about?"
I sigh. "Ali."
"I found out that Harun proposed to Maymunah and I thought that you'd be really upset since you..." He trails off. "I'll go back inside." He leaves as quickly as he came.
Now I understand that the letter Harun wrote was supposed to end with Maymunah. Or maybe he meant to write it to her. But nonetheless, he's getting married to her anyways.
I told my mom to let me stay here a few more days before I leave this place forever. I've realized that it'd give me no benefit to be in this house for one more day, since I'll just go through more heartbreak. I dial my mom's number, wait for her to pick up, and say with certainty: "I'm ready to go home."
***
You: OHMYGOD YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN I'VE GONE THROUGH READING THIS. Fayfay, you're a disappointment. I'll hunt you down and DEMAND that Harun and Kayla get married right at this instant. #HK RULES!
Me: Hehehe plot twists are fun! And I thought "happy ever afters" only exist in fairy tales.
And that's why I CAN wait to see your comments.