The one thing on my mind as I drove home from school was not the little black book now present on my passenger seat, but the fact that Harry showed up at Louis' Friday night. He had to have. Where else would Johnny and Derrick have gone to have an altercation with him? To think, while Harry was getting punches thrown at him I was in the backyard having a soda and chatting around the fire. The thought was actually pretty unsettling. What I don’t understand is how Johnny and Derrick got so beat up with just Harry against them. The only evidence Harry has of the fight is a single purple mark where Johnny and Derrick had several.
Then there was Louis. He said it was too dark out front for him to see who they were fighting, but surely Johnny and Derrick would tell him, right? I can’t imagine they would keep their mouths shut unless they didn’t want people to know the class freak beat them up. Maybe he was telling the truth, but maybe he knew something I didn’t. Either way, I wanted to find out.
I waited until I was in the confines of my room to open up the book. I didn’t even know if there was going to be a response considering the writer did not have class today. Still, I found myself untying the strap and flipping to the most recent page. Sure enough, the narrow scrawl was printed between the lines of the paper.
If you are aiming to be the captivated that shortens the distance to the unknown then I would hope you are aware of what you are doing. If you are not afraid of the unknown or even slightly spooked by the knowledge that this entails then continue to try to shrink the distance.
I believe there is something beautiful in anonymity. It strips one of initial judgement. You do not know what I look like or how I talk. You don’t know if I live in velour jumpsuits or ridiculously tight jeans. For all you know, I could be one of those freshmen with a full beard and a thick Italian accent. For all I know, you are a six foot seven basketball god that draws to release the stress that comes from being the only person on the team that can dunk.
Anonymity allows for one to become comfortable with personality as opposed to the appearance judging we, as individuals, tend to do when we first meet someone. I wish to remain anonymous to keep us on a clean slate.
I must have reread the words at least four times. I believe there is something beautiful in anonymity. There was something about how beautifully the writer scripted the words that made me want to continue writing. I wanted to keep reading his or her opinions and seeing his or her humor play through the words. The words most certainly flowed from a creative writing student.
For some reason, I pictured the writer to be a boy. Maybe it was the sports reference or the facial hair remark or even the tall, neat script of the penmanship. Either way, I had a sneaking suspicion whoever etched their pen into the page besides me was a boy. Still, I was basing an inference off of a few sentences someone wrote down in a notebook.
I just stared at his response for the longest time, not knowing how to respond. Every time I brought my pen even remotely close to the paper, I immediately retracted it, not finding the words in my head to be worthy enough to convert to the pages. Finally, an idea popped into my head. I swiftly brought the pen down, the tip meeting the fresh page at last. I wrote in haste, not wanting my thought to escape.
Although your take on anonymity is appealing and I respect keeping aspects of our lives in the shadows, I can assure you I am not a six foot seven basketball god that draws to release the stress that comes from being the only person on the team that can dunk. I actually do not draw at all, those are mere sketches, something I do when I am bored.
I am a writer, a thinker, an observer, someone who takes what s/he sees, feels, or experiences in the outside world and converts it into words on paper.
I am all for continuing with the anonymous aspect of these messages, but I feel as if one anonymous writer should have some insight into the other, even if that insight is as minute as a grain of sand amidst one of the beaches here in Westbrook.
As far as I’m concerned, I will picture you as a velour jumpsuit-wearing bearded freshman with a thick Italian accent unless you write otherwise. :)
“What are you so smiley about?” my sister’s voice questioned from the doorway. I jumped slightly in my seat, not expecting someone to come in. When I tore my eyes away from the pages of the little black book, I found Emerson twirling a strand of her long hair that was fastened into a ponytail.
“No reason,” I replied, shutting the cover in fear she would be able to read something. It was ridiculous though considering she was feet away from where I was at the desk, but I couldn’t help it. As selfish as it may seem, I wanted to be the only one to read this anonymous writer’s words. “What do you need?” I asked, curious as to why she was standing in my doorway.
“I need a ride to practice,” she said. “Mom said you have to take me.”
“Okay, I’ll be down in a minute,” I told her. Emerson nodded before heading down the hallway. I quickly tucked the little black book at the very bottom of my desk drawer and followed her out to my car in the driveway.
Emerson’s soccer practice was back at the high school and apparently the girls’ soccer team wasn’t the only team practicing today. When we pulled up all sorts of people were coming and going. The football team was practicing on the quad, the band marching on the cement pathway around them led by the flag team and danceline. I noticed the boys’ soccer team exiting the track as well. Several of the boys I had seen at Louis' party bounded out with Zayn and Louis leading the pack.
“Okay, bye,” Emerson said, slipping out of the car and slamming the door. She headed right up to a couple of boys that must have been in her grade, high-fiving them and chatting instantly. It wasn’t until I looked to the left of one of the boys she was talking to that I noticed Louis glancing between Emerson and my car. His eyes flicked back and forth, a grin spreading across his face. The next thing I knew, he was whispering something in Zayn’s ear and walking over to where I was parked.
“Little bird?” he wondered, bending down to get a peek through my windows. I gave a shy wave as I rolled down the window on the passengers side. Louis beamed, striding over and pulling the door open. He hopped right in, taking a seat where Emerson had just been. “This is a nice little car. I feel like I’m in a race car with these leather seats!”
“Thanks Lou,” I replied softly. Sometimes, his overly confident nature could be a bit overbearing. I suppose I just wasn’t used to people barging in and sitting in my car with me. “Do you need a ride home or to your car?” I asked seeing as it looked as if he was planning to stay awhile.
“Oh no, my car is right in that lot,” he said, pointing across me to the parking lot next to the cafeteria. “I just wanted to say ‘hello’. I didn’t know you had a sister or that she played soccer no less!”
“I guess I never mentioned it,” I shrugged. Louis laughed, adjusting the thick, black headband that held back his fringe.
“Are there any other secrets you’re hiding?” he teased, wiggling his eyebrows at me. Instantly, my thoughts from earlier popped into my head. Louis was the one hiding something, wasn’t he? What if he already knew what happened to Harry a few nights ago? I wanted to ask him, I wanted some answers, but I also didn’t want to damage any friendship Louis and I had because I was making absurd accusations.
“If I told you I’d have to kill you,” I replied, tossing my thoughts to the side.
“This is why I like you!” Louis remarked, happily. “Niall and I are heading to the beach tomorrow for some surfing. You should come, get to know the area a little more. I am a fantastic tour guide.”
“Maybe, if I don’t have too much to do,” I assured him. Louis smiled, pushing the passenger door open with his right hand on the handle.
“Just remember, little bird, I still have that deposit put down on the FBI,” he said, sending a wink my way before slipping out of the car. Louis shut the door behind him, jogging around the front of my car and across the road to where his Audi was parked. Zayn and some of the other soccer boys were still in the parking lot at well, giving the two of us curious looks as Louis turned on the ignition. I quickly drove out of the high school vicinity before the looks burned a hole in my window.
*****
“Are you coming to the beach today, Renn?” Niall asked me during lunch. My eyes tore away from Harry who was listening to music under the willow tree. He had a dark, navy blue sweatshirt on with a pair of blue jeans and white converse, a change from his usual black skinny jeans and rolled up t-shirt. I almost wished I sat with him today instead of sitting at my usual table. Conversation really wasn’t directed towards me until Niall just spoke up, seeming to notice my staring off in space.
“To the beach? Yeah. Am I meeting you two there?” I questioned, moving my pointer finger between Niall and Louis. Louis smirked, most likely at the fact I agreed to go.
“Niall has the surfboard rack on the top of his car, so we can follow you home and go from there? Is it alright if I leave my car at your house?” Louis inquired.
“Yeah, sure,” I said, my gaze drifting back to the willow tree. I wonder what kind of music he was listening to. I’m sure it was something old styled, like something not from our generation which would fit his personality to a T. I wonder if we like the same kind of music.
“We lost her again,” Louis muttered loud enough for me to hear. When I looked back at him, he was grinning again. “You keep gazing over to Mr. Enigma.”
“No I don’t,” I denied, looking down at the half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of me. My cheeks were definitely flushing pink, I could feel it.
“You do. Do you have a thing for Styles?” Zayn pestered.
“No, we’re just friends,” I said. Are we friends though? Does Harry consider me his friend?
“Oh, stop it, boys! I think it’s cute!” Perrie gushed. My cheeks were absolutely pink now. Hell, they were probably the color of tomatoes!
“Hey, if she can get Harry Styles to talk to her, then good for her!” Eleanor commended. “He’s super cute!” El and Perrie continued to gush about Harry and I while I kept my eyes locked on my sandwich. Zayn and Louis luckily dropped the conversation, finding the upcoming soccer game much more interesting. I dared to lift my eyes from my food to take a glance at Harry. When I did, my eyes were met with his.
I could spot the concern in his eyes from all the way over where I was sitting. They watched me carefully for a few moments before his lips curved into a shy smile. I smiled back, praying not to regain attention from my friends, and sent him a small wave. Harry shifted in his spot a little bit, lifting his hand slightly to brush his hair out of his face.
“Are you okay?” he mouthed. I smiled lightly, breaking our gaze to look down at my food again before looking back up.
“I’m fine,” I replied. Harry smiled, nodded and returned to whatever music was emanating from his phone.
*****
“Where did you go?” Louis asked as I made my way over to my car. He and Niall moved closer to where I was parked, considering the majority of the students had already left.
“Nowhere, I just ran into my sister,” I lied, tugging at the straps of my backpack. I really went to go get the little black book from the Creative Writing room, but I couldn’t tell them that. What would I say?
“You have a sister?” Niall wondered in disbelief.
“I know, man. I only found out yesterday!” Louis said, leading me to roll my eyes.
“That doesn’t matter,” I dismissed, unlocking my car and tossing my backpack on the back seat. “You’re following me home, yeah?”
“After you, my lady!” Louis exclaimed with a bow as he hopped into his Audi, Niall following suit in his beat up Range Rover. Two surf boards were already secured to the roof rack of the car, ready for the waves at Westbrook Town Beach.
I slipped into the front seat of my own car, turning on the ignition before pulling out of the parking lot. Niall and Louis trailed behind, following my car as it turned down a few streets and raced on to the main road. I prayed that my parents wouldn’t be home. The last thing I needed was to explain why I was going surfing with two boys, no less that they were coming over the house.
Luckily, when I pulled into my driveway, neither of my parents’ cars were there. My dad must still be at work and Emerson must have had practice. I put the car in park just outside the garage door, Louis parking behind me and Niall parking in the other driveway.
“This is your house?” Louis asked, looking for more of a confirmation.
“Yep,” I said, popping the ‘p’. “Do you guys want to come inside for a minute? Do I need to wear a bathing suit or something?”
“Sure!” Louis cheered. “And only if you want. The water is still very warm.” I nodded, leading the way to the front door.
“Just excuse the mess,” I said as I turned the door handle, “we’re not quite done unpacking.” Louis and Niall both shook their heads indicating they didn’t mind before I pushed the door open. “You can make yourselves at home. I’ll be quick!” I said as I raced up the stairs to my room. I could hear the sound of the T.V. being turned on in the living room as I did so.
When I reached my closet, I cursed myself for not fully unpacking. My bathing suits were most definitely in one of the boxes I hadn’t touched yet, not expecting to go swimming any time after the start of school. That never happened back in Boston. Quickly, I pulled at the box labeled ‘Summer’, rummaging through all of the folded tank tops and flowy shirts until my hand glided over the bag of bathing suits at the bottom. I pulled out the little Life Is Good bag with a sense of victory for having found it so fast.
A plain black bikini was sitting right on the top when I opened the bag, which was good enough for me. I tied the suit up, slipping a pair of athletic shorts over the bottoms and a lightweight sweater over the top.
“Ready!” I called, running down the stairs. I could hear the T.V. shut off before I reached the bottom, the couch creaking at the movement of Niall and Louis getting up.
“Let’s go before all the good waves are taken!” Louis shouted, racing out the door, leaving Niall and I behind. I giggled at his excitement, Niall shaking his head with a grin plastered on his face.
“Are you surfing too?” I asked while we walked to the Range Rover where Louis was already buckled in the passenger’s seat.
“No, can’t,” he said, “bad knee, remember? I’ll probably still go for a swim though.”
“I don’t know how to surf,” I confessed, “so maybe I should stick to swimming too.”
“You should try it,” Niall encouraged, slipping into the driver’s seat. “Louis isn’t that good at it anyways.”
“Hey!” Louis whined, whacking Niall on the back of the head as he put the car in reverse down the driveway. Niall chuckled, merely turning up the music radiating from the speakers as we drove. The road to the beach was peaceful, traffic moving swiftly. People were riding their bikes along the water side, kids were jumping off a little bridge into the water below. Louis was singing loudly out the car window to everyone we passed. He actually wasn’t half bad, reminding me of Troy Bolton from the High School Musical movies; high school jock that doubles as a theatre kid that has a remarkable singing voice. Maybe I’ll call him Troy from now on…
“Okay, we’re here!” Niall exclaimed as we pulled into a sandy parking lot dotted with a few cars. Louis let out a little cheer before hopping out of the car and beginning to take the boards off the roof rack. He unhooked them with ease, passing one to Niall and tucking the other one under his arm. The beach had a fairly decent crowd. I assume most people were trying to get the most out of whatever nice weather was left of the summer. If winters here were anything like winters back in Boston, I would be doing the same thing.
Niall and Louis placed the boards down a few feet away from where the tide was coming in. Louis stripped his shirt immediately, seeming to have changed into his bathing suit before we came. He picked the surfboard right back up and jogged directly into the water. Niall picked up the other board as well, discarding his shirt alongside Louis' as I removed my sweater and athletic shorts.
“You ready?” he asked, looking from me to the water.
“Come on! Don’t be babies!” Louis shouted from where he was perched on his board, deep in the water. Niall chuckled, shaking his head. The two of us walked towards the water, the tide just skimming my feet. Louis was right, the water was very warm. We easily waded out to our waists without hesitation.
“Here,” Niall said, stopping and holding the surfboard on the water so it wouldn’t float away, “just sit with your legs on either side of the board and you can paddle out to where Lou is.”
I did as I was told, pushing myself up onto the board while Niall held it steady. He suggested that I lay against the board to paddle out, which was much easier than just leaving my legs to dangle and using my arms to propel me forward. Niall swam alongside me until we reached where Louis was sat on his board.
“Nice of you to join me,” Louis teased. Niall splashed a big wave of water at him with a huge laugh. Louis huffed, running his fingers through his now wet fringe.
“What do we do now?” I asked once Niall’s laughter died down.
“Now we wait for a big wave to come,” Louis explained. “I’ll have to paddle a little closer to shore if I want to catch anything, but you should be safe out here if you just want to float.”
“How big are the waves you usually catch?” I wondered, not realizing that Louis must be pretty decent at surfing if he claims to catch the big waves. Niall snickered beside me, causing my attention to drift to him.
“Don’t let him fool you, Renn. He’s not that good, he’s actually pretty shit at it. I would consider it more of ‘glorified boogy boarding’ than surfing!” he laughed.
“Okay, so I only started surfing a couple years ago. That doesn’t mean I’m bad at it!” Louis fired back, making me giggle at their teasing. “I just don’t stand up all the time.”
“Glorified boogy boarding,” Niall whispered, keeping eye contact with Louis.
“Fine, I’ll catch the next big wave then and stand up the whole way, all the way to the shore! You owe me a nice dinner if I do it,” Louis challenged.
“And when you don’t?” Niall wondered.
“And if on the off chance I don’t, then I will buy you the dinner,” Louis said, reaching out his right hand for Niall to shake.
“Deal,” Niall said. He met Lou's hand, making the bet official. Louis paddled a little bit closer to the shore where the waves were just beginning to curl. I could feel the next on was going to be rather big just from the way it rolled under my board. Louis could too as he paddled a little bit closer. We watched as the wave began to take form, curling up to crescent shape. His board was sucked into the curl a tad, allowing him to pop up off the board with ease. Louis only made it a couple of feet before the wave started to crash on his right. Before he could react, the crash caught up to him, pushing him down under the water. “Easiest free food I’ve ever gotten.” Niall smirked.
“I was so close!” Louis shouted when he appeared from the water.
“You didn’t make it to shore though, man! You lose!” Niall yelled back.
“Whatever,” Louis grumbled, paddling back to us. Niall and I continued to float out where the waves didn’t crash as Louis took a few more waves in. He made it to the shore a couple of times, but never standing up. The curl of the wave almost always acted in a domino effect.
*****
“Why can’t I sit in the car?” Louis whined.
“You’re covered in sand!” Niall shouted, chuckling. He was right. Louis decided to head straight from the ocean to literally roll in the sand, claiming he ‘wanted to dry off’. Niall was making sure the surfboards were secured to the roof rack while Louis leaned up against the car door covered from head to toe in sand. I was leaning next to him, giggling at their banter. ‘You’re not getting in my car until you go hose off in the outdoor shower."
“What’s that going to do? I’ll be soaking wet and we’ll only be right back where we started,” Louis protested. Niall shot him a glare from over his shoulder as he wiggled the top surfboard to make sure it was steady. “Fine, fine!” Louis surrendered, holding his hands up in defense. “I’ll go rinse off! Hey, Renn, can you text El for me? Just tell her I’ll be home in a bit.”
“I don’t have her number,” I told him as he began to walk away. I don’t really have anyone’s numbers come to think of it. The only contacts in my phone out of my new friends is Louis and Soph.
“Just use my phone. It’s on the front seat,” he called over his shoulder as he jogged away.
“I’m just going to run to the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” Niall said before heading in the direction of the pavillion. I shrugged, pulling the car door open to where Louis was sitting on the ride to the beach. Sure enough, his sleek iPhone was resting on the seat.
I pressed the center button, waking up the screen, and swiped the little bar to unlock it. My fingers glided over the screen, tapping on the ‘Contacts’ button at the bottom. I scrolled down the list of names until I reached the ‘E’s. Eleanor was one of the first on the list, a little monkey emoji with it’s hands over it’s eyes following her name. My finger hovered over her contact, just about to press it when I noticed another name a couple of people down.
Harry Styles
Why did Louis have Harry's number? The thought I had earlier, about Louis knowing something I didn’t, presented itself clearer in my head. Maybe he was hiding something? I apprehensively tapped on Harry’s name, not wanting Louis to head back while I was sort of snooping on his phone. To my surprise, Louis even gave Harry a contact picture.
However, the picture he gave him surprised me even more. There, with an arm over each others shoulder, was Louis and Harry smiling happily at the camera, Harry beaming as if Louis had just said something funny.
The picture seemed to be a few years old. Harry’s face wasn’t as lean and his hair was a mop of curls that wasn’t nearly as long. His usual ankle boots were replaced by a pair of ratty purple shoes and a pair of looser jeans hung from his hips. Louis looked different as well, his fringe much straighter and almost Justin Bieber-esque.
I was just about to hit the ‘Call’ button, just to make sure the person on the other end of the phone number was Harry, but I spotted Niall and Louis laughing as they walked away from the pavillion. Quickly, I exited Harry’s contact and sent El the message Louis told me to send, actually pressing the send button right when the two boys approached me.
“Did you do it?” Louis asked, his freshly wet fringe hanging in a dripping mess. I watched him carefully as I handed the phone back to him. His usual cheeky, mischievous smile was present on his features, not showing any clear signs he was hiding something.
“Yeah, just sent it. Your phone was tucked between the center console and the seat,” I lied to cover up why it took me so long.
“Okay. Well, Niall, unless you enjoy damp seats, I hope you have a towel in that car of yours,” Louis teased, shaking out his wet hair. Niall retrieved a towel from the trunk, tossing it to Louis before we ventured back to my house. The 1975 played loudly in the car as we drove in near silence. I couldn’t get the image of Harry’s contact picture out of my mind. Were he and Louis friends?
I needed to find answers, but I didn’t know who to question. Surely Louis wouldn’t tell me anything if he hasn’t mentioned it thus far. Niall would probably tell me, but I don’t want to cause a rift in his friendship with Louis. Zayn does not like Harry at all, so he wouldn’t want to talk about him even in the slightest. I’m not really sure where Soph and Liam stand and El is too close to Louis. My best option would be to go straight to Perrie.