11 Days to Halloween
"Good morning, sleepy head," Felecia greeted when Mazie finally descended the stairs ten minutes before she dipped out for school.
"Good morning, sleepy head!" Winter and Willow repeated with soft giggles hidden behind their sticky gooey hands from eating without forks.
Mazie ruffled their soft blonde hair as she passed but couldn't manage a simple smile. She was tired. Really tired.
"Coffee?" Felecia asked, waving an empty mug at her, standing beside the coffee maker.
Mazie nodded, fetching a granola bar from the pantry.
"Didn't sleep well?"
More like not enough. A tornado dropped into her life and wrecked everything, tossing about her normal schedule and wreaking havoc and chaos on her stability. The destruction ranged from teenage girls who were raped to boys who kissed her publicly and then didn't text her at all that night. Oh, and it might include her late night romping through the school for harmless pranks and illegal robbery. Altogether, it accounted for her loss of sleep and cranky morning mood.
"Travel mug please," Mazie stated, retrieving the creamer from the fridge and a strawberry banana yogurt.
"So I have a question," Felecia teeter tottered along, metaphorically dancing around the topic she really wanted to get to which wasn't much like Felecia at all.
Instead of engaging verbally, Mazie lifted her gaze, quirking an eyebrow curiously. Felecia smiled like she were about to break some bad news.
"So I heard...about something that happened at school," Fe said.
Mazie blinked.
"A prank," Felecia declared.
Feigning innocence, Mazie lifted the mug to her lips and took a sip after she added the proper amount of creamer. Thankfully, she was tired enough that she truly didn't have the energy to make any sort of facial expression.
"Mazie Oliver." Picking up a spatula which she used to flip pancakes, Fe pointed the utensil at her chest and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "I know what you did."
On some level, Felecia was obviously right. She knew that Mazie participated in a school prank. Mazie didn't know how Fe knew, but she did. However, there was a crucial piece of the puzzle she didn't even know was missing. Breaking and entering had nothing to do with the senior prank and a different goal entirely. And Mazie knew without a shadow of a doubt that Fe had no idea about that.
The fact that she knew but she didn't really know bolstered Mazie to lie. "What did I do?"
Glancing sideways at her children to ensure they weren't listening, Fe scooted closer and lowered her weapon. "I heard something in the middle of the night. I went to check on the kids and noticed your door was cracked open which you never do." True. "So I went to close it and noticed you weren't in your bedroom at all. And the bed was cold....so you had been gone for awhile."
Excellent sleuthing skills. Mazie was a little impressed. When it comes time for her kids to grow up and become teenagers, nothing will slide past her. Mazie almost cracked a smile at this but maintained her composure.
In the absence of her explanation, Fe continued, drilling Mazie with a hard stern glare. Mazie had never seen her like this before. "I waited until you got home. I saw you sneak in the back door."
Again, she casually sipped from her coffee. "You think I was off in the middle of the night doing this prank then."
Felecia tilted up her slender chin. "I know you were."
"How?" Felecia needed to state irrefutable evidence or Mazie would lie through her teeth about this for the sake of conserving the real issue.
"Because you came home with the neighbor boy, Christian. I saw you get out of his truck." From her clenched teeth to her tightened fists, Mazie guessed that Felecia was pretty angry. She didn't know why. Usually, Fe wasn't easily angered especially if Mazie was up to typical teenage girl things.
"So you're mad about this because...?" Mazie asked, leaving the end of the question open, expecting Fe to fill in the blanks to create a better level of understanding between the two of them.
Fe whacked her with the spatula and Chandler started screaming. Mazie startled, rubbing her hand soothingly up and down her arm. "Because you lied!"
"I did not lie!" Mazie whisper-yelled.
Whipping the spatula around, Fe advanced on Mazie as if she might wield it as a weapon again. "Lying by omission is the same thing as lying!"
"This is not a court of law!" Mazie defended, holding back her morning spunk which verged on the edge of total insanity due to sleep deprivation and the fact she couldn't keep food down because her stomach constantly tossed and turned with nervous energy because boys kissed her and didn't call her. Mostly, she was upset that she even cared that he didn't call or text her. She wasn't that type of girl.
"It might as well be! You live with a lawyer!"
"The pancakes are burning!"
Both of them huffing with fury and indignation, they took deep breaths to calm down before Fe pivoted to the stove and slapped the burnt pancakes on a plate. Sighing heavily from somewhere deep inside her chest where all her disappointment lie dormant, Fe tossed the spatula on the counter and plopped her hands on her hips. An inkling of remorse inched its way into Mazie's heart. She battled with safeguarding her secrets and wishing to please Fe with the truth.
She didn't want to lie. She didn't want to lie about anything. But people were missing - probably dying - while girls shot up drugs in the school bathroom because they were raped. The secrets piled so high that Mazie didn't even know how to sort through the truth. The sole reason she got roped into this was because her own family life was a mess - divorced parents, slutty dad, runaway mom. As if she somehow had something in common with Mary Ann McCormick and her jacked up situation. And a boy who sold drugs. Who kissed her at the Blue Bird Cafe.
Pouring small portions of pancake batter onto the skillet to finish off the task at hand, Fe visibly cooled down, shaking the tension out of her shoulders. "I'm...I'm not this person, Maze. I'm not your mom. We do have house rules and you are expected to abide by them as we would expect our own children to. But I'm not your parent. I'm not going to yell at you and punish you. I won't ground you." Lowering the temperature on the skillet, her aunt faced Mazie and pulled her in close while the kids screamed in the background. Fe lovingly placed her hand in the small of Mazie's back. "In exchange for this kind of set up, I only expect honesty from you. I might advise you not to do certain things but I can't stop you. You're almost eighteen. If you had intentions of doing a school prank - as long as it didn't break any laws other than the obvious - I would have preferred you told me. I wouldn't have said that you couldn't go."
Guilty ate her alive from the inside out. Why did Fe have to be such a good reasonable person? How could she argue with logic? Even Mazie understood and agreed with Fe's rationale. "I'm sorry," she apologized quietly. "In my defense, it wasn't planned. I literally got invited in the middle of the night."
Fe studied her humorlessly, a deadpan expression mimicking Mazie's own. "I forgive you. But that brings me to my next point. You are allowed to have boyfriends and go on dates and whatever the heck else you young people do these days. But I'd like a heads up please." She made pointed eye contact with her. "I care very much about your safety. If you're going to be running off with that boy, please tell me. Text me. Call me. Write a note. Send a carrier pigeon. I don't care. Just fill me in."
Mazie rolled her eyes. "We're not..."
Immediately, Fe cracked up laughing, flipping the pancakes to the other side to continue cooking. The tops were delectably browned to delicious perfection. "Spare me, honey. I'm not stupid."
Puffing about, Mazie gathered her breakfast into her arms along with her travel coffee mug and elbowed around the kitchen so that she could leave.
"Aw, did I upset you?" Fe's voice trailed after her.
Mazie couldn't properly place the irritation that warred inside of her. At this point, she thought it best to stop denying that something brewed between her and Christian. But she couldn't help herself. Maybe it was to protect herself, to expect the worst so that, when it happened, it wouldn't hurt so bad. It hit her all at once that she wasn't sure what was happening between the two of them but it unsettled her so to the point that it made her angry.
She had enough things in her life to make her angry that she really didn't need to add this to the equation.
"He's a nice boy! I like him!" Fe shouted from the kitchen.
Rolling her eyes so to the point that they almost reversed into the back of her head, Mazie stopped by the front door to shove her feet into her shoes impatiently. "I don't care!" Mazie yelled back.
"Should I tell your father?"
"Oh, like I should listen to anything he says concerning good partner choices?! Just call him divorcee of the year!" Mazie complained loudly, not caring if the kids overheard. If Fe wanted to holler across the house, so be it.
"Still your father!"
"Mommmmm, more juice!" One of the twins interjected.
"Still don't care!"
"You sound bitter!"
"Great! Just what I was going for!" Mazie yelled in finality, sloughing her backpack onto her back, clutching her keys in a death grip, and vaulting out the door and down the porch steps before Fe decided to unload unnecessary parental advice that surely would go in one ear and out the other. Where, again, were her parents? Off living their lives as if they didn't have a kid at all. Maybe Fe needed reminding of that.
Mazie didn't overthink things so to the point that it upset her stomach.
But there was a before and an after.
Before her parents divorced. After her parents divorced.
She pretended to be the person that didn't care about the fact that her parents gave up on one another, moved across the country and forgot about their only daughter. In fact, she logically accepted that human beings were all inherently messed up one way or another. Her parents hated each other. No wonder they divorced. No wonder her mom moved away. Her dad - most of the time - acted like a dick, treated her mom pretty bad, and blamed her for all their problems even though he shut down long, long ago. Now, her dad lived in limbo in the midst of a midlife crises without really accepting the consequences of his actions.
Before her parents divorced, Mazie ignored anger. In fact, she pretended that it didn't even exist. Turmoil constantly swirled around her home. An unhealthy undercurrent of animosity and hatred sucked everyone into a vortex of harsh words and cold shoulders. Outside of her home, Mazie didn't get angry. She didn't get upset about stupid things. She didn't overthink simple actions.
After her parents divorced, Mazie found comfort in being angry. All along, she believed in the surety that her parents would give up on one another. She held onto that fact as comfort. Someday the fighting would stop. She knew they would divorce. But, for some reason, when it came, their separation hit her like a ton of bricks, crushing her under the impact. There was no time to recover before her mom disappeared and her dad gallivanted about town with a dozen different women. Meanwhile, her dad shipped her off to live with her aunt so that maybe they didn't totally upheaval her ENTIRE LIFE. Just most of it.
She stomped her feet particularly hard into the pavement as she rounded the rear of her Range and unlocked the doors, punching her finger furiously into the keys on the key fob. Slinging the door open, Mazie launched her backpack precariously into the passenger seat, slammed the coffee mug into the cup holder and flung herself into the driver's seat. Before she started the car, Mazie ripped open the wrapper around her granola bar and bit into it with veracity and...
She about choked on her granola bar, coughing painfully, when she spotted the bouquet of flowers on the hood of her car.
She slapped her hand on her chest, pushing the pain away, as her eyes welled up with tears. Chewing once or twice more, Mazie swallowed the lob of granola and oats and it settled in her belly like a rock.
Hiding on the interior of her mind, her anger and confusion masked what was right in front of her. Fumbling with the door handle, Mazie tumbled out of the car and reached around the door to pick up the flowers. She held them gingerly in both hands, standing there in the cold without a clue of what to do. Despite the fact that they surprised her, the flowers stunned her with their beauty. She smelled the eucalyptus leaves that sprouted throughout the bouquet that contrasted so sweetly with dark red dahlias, orange ranunculuses, deep pink spray roses, and blush white blooming flowers with long petals that she had never even seen before. This bouquet was clearly put together with the precision of a professional and the love of someone who grew up in field of wild flowers.
The bouquet was all wrapped up in brown butcher paper and tied tightly with a gorgeous burgundy ribbon. It took her breath away.
Of course, there was a note. Lace designs outlined the thick white parchment paper.
"I didn't plan it, but I'm glad I did it. - C"
She was touched, truly. But her hands sought the seams of the paper to rip the bouquet to shreds and throw it on the ground. Stupid flowers. Stupid love. Stupid boys. Stupid kissing in front of cafes.
She was running late so she ran inside, marching through the house to find a vase to store the flowers in.
"Oh my! Mazie, they're beautiful!" Fe gasped, covering her heart with her hands.
"It means nothing!" Mazie insisted, holding the bouquet away from her as if it were poisonous and if she breathed in their delectable scent, she would fall head over heels in love. It was worse than Cupid's arrow.
"I'll take it. Go to school." Fe collected the flowers and held them up to her nose like any normal would who delights at the special attention from a male prospect.
"It doesn't mean anything," Mazie repeated again for good measure while stomping out the door.
"Keep telling yourself that, kid!"