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By SinCircus_

4.8M 176K 115K

What's wrong with being a little chaotic? ... More

prologue
1 | the truth untold
2 | another early birthday gift
3 | unexpected customer
4 | touch yourself
5 | on your knees
6 | don't look at him
7 | go where
8 | backup plan
9 | across his lap
10 | change of plans
11 | a two way to pleasure part 1
12 | a two way to pleasure part 2
13 | nothing but a good fuck
14 | lip gloss, lipstick and a hug
15 | Jimin
16 | another (bossy) reminder
17 | go get him
18 | make a wish
19 | betrayal
20 | uncertainty
21 | the way he likes me
22 | hate me
23 | the last of me... us
24 | she left
25 | like a deer stuck in headlights
26 | special request
27 | are you a sub?
28 | a harmless walk
29 | thought you'd never come
30 | conditions, cherry lips and chardonnay
31 | a whole new perspective
32 | a silent promise
33 | i want candy
34 | morning wood
35 | dodging min yoongi
36 | getting to know each other over coffee and french toast
37 | deal
39 | texting him in the toilet
not an update
Q&A
40 | elastic girl receives an apology
41 | friends don't leave each other breathless
42 | reversed
43 | i was wrong
44 | first date
45 | trust is key
46 | stay
47 | game
48 | when the water drains... cum for me and we'll cuddle after
49 | tell me something random about you
50 | change
51 | boyfriend
52 | hater: min yoongi
53 | don't make a big deal out of this
54 | monopoly
55 | lights down low
56 | getting a taste of her world
57 | alone with you
58 | cloud 9
59 | vulnerable
60 | need to blow off some steam
61 | on the sidelines
62 | gone
63 | a toast
64 | chain of memories
65 | company
66 | wherever
67 | chain of memories part 2
68 | chain of memories part 3
69 | attached
70 | first fight
71 | chain of memories part 4
72 | chain of memories part 5
73 | realization
74 | false hope
75 | i'm sorry
76 | in the blink of an eye
77 | dance with me
78 | coming clean
79 | kiss in the rain
80 | outburst
81 | lightning
82 | disappointment
83 | i own you
84 | clusterfuck
85 | secrets
86 | release
87 | care
88 | uncovered
89 | lighter
90 | problematic
91 | you'll need a drink for this
92 | revelation
93 | falling
94 | hypocritical
95 | alligator eyes
96 | petrified
97 | sweet like candy
98 | epiphany
99 | showing you
100 | compulsion
101 | diplomatic
102 | finally telling him
let's spice things up shall we?
character q & a
103 | panic attack
104 | instinct
105 | the blackwoods
106 | alert
107 | the looking glass of her soul
108 | raging war inside
109 | lowlife
110 | little rat
111 | i love you
112 | highway to hell
113 | triumph
114 | scars and forgiveness
115 | our friends
116 | magnetic
117 | everything for you
118 | pointless
119 | new plan
120 | divide and conquer
121 | jeopardy
122 | trial and error
123 | opposite sides
final chapter
thank you
my plan...please read

38 | you are naive

43.5K 1.5K 505
By SinCircus_

Elena's POV

"Hold up. Are you fucking kidding me?" Joy exclaims clutching on the shamrock colored bottle of beer. I am currently in her place downtown, munching on barbeque flavored chips and dry nuts with cheese powder while enjoying my beer.

I sigh hopelessly after rewinding to the series of events that occured a week ago after my breakdown at the parking lot with Jungkook, the little incident with Jimin and Taehyung at the Empire Hotel and the life changing morning I spent with Jungkook at my very house.

"Elena you can't possibly be considering of starting a relationship with that whack job of man right?" My friend continues, her voice coming out in a hysteric shriek. Obviously she was still upset at Jungkook for kissing her against her will at my party. I was as stressed and upset as her for different reasons but we moved past that and Jungkook seems to actually make an effort of changing.

"I wouldn't say... a relationship Joy." I say defensively. "Right now we're just friends I guess." Okay, now the last part is a big fat lie. There's no way in hell that Jeon Jungkook would remain in such an enclosed space that only a small number deserves such as the friendzone. I have a feeling that if I even dared to tease him about it he would attempt to prove me wrong in say... an isolated classroom, or the restrooms. My teeth automatically tug on my bottom lip as I flash back at our heated kiss in my kitchen that fateful morning when we made French toast together. I remember how his lips moved across my skin, planting eager kisses and love bites all over my flesh. His veiny hands gripping my waist and then his long fingers tracing circles on my thighs. I melted like butter under his touch and out of panic I said that our makeout session was a test. Luckily, my spur of the moment acting skills were convincing and he surrendered.

In conclusion, being friends with Jungkook is definitely out of the question.

"Shut up, you clearly have the hots for this psycho." Joy fires aggressively. She slams her beer on the coffee table so hard I think the glass bottle will break from the harsh pressure she applied.

"I don't have the hots for Jungkook!" I lie through my teeth. "Calm down Joy! Please."

Joy points a finger at me. "You have any idea how violated I felt when that son of a bitch kissed me? Yeah sure it was one lame kiss and sure I'm not the most demure woman but the bastard was out of the fucking line. I was dancing with Yoongi when he cuts between us and fucking kisses me!" Joy's face is red and it seems that the alcohol is getting to her, but she's absolutely right for being mad at him. "Yoongi is a sweet fucking guy and I like him-like a lot. Then, your Jungkook demolished everything."

I never knew what happened afterwards when I left.

"Yoongi didn't make a fuss about it, but I felt so guilty about it despite the fact that I barely know the man." Joy proceeds and takes a sip from her beer. "He didn't blame me or anything. He took care of me afterwards, he caressed my head and asked me if I was okay. But me being the guilty person that I am, I couldn't even ask him for his number when he dropped me home. And now he will never see me again!"

I had no idea that Joy liked Yoongi this much. "You know I can just arrange something with him right? We're best buds after all."

"How am I gonna fucking face him when you lied to him about me!" Joy booms and I freeze on the spot.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Oh, bite me." She mutters. "You told him I'm a fucking librarian and that I'm searching for a new job! It's like direct catfishing!"

I had to lie to him because with Joy I'm at risk of revealing my secret life. Yoongi can never find out that I'm a part time stripper. Who knows what he'll think of me. Or even worse he willq feel sorry for me and will want to help me out of my financial crisis. The last thing I want from my best friend is his pity.

"Okay, now giving him false information about your profession isn't catfishing Joy. He knows that you're actually an attractive woman instead of a seventy year old creep. " I say jokingly to lighten the mood and she flashes me a murderous look. It kind of scares me if I'm being honest.

"You're not telling me the whole story." Joy says. "This event at the Empire isn't even half of what is really going on. You're hidding something Elena and I don't like it."

"I'm not hiding anything." I say coolly. Maybe I didn't mention the fact that Jungkook knows my other identity. But that is only for the sake of keeping my secret safe. I can't have Joy confront Jungkook.

"Not revealing the truth is the same thing as lying Elena." Joy mutters, her eyes half closed. "I'm here for you, you know that right? You can tell me anything. You know I won't judge you. I work at a sex shop for crying out loud. " She adds her hand finding mine.

How I wish things could be that simple. "You're the best J."

"I know bitch." She grins. "Now tell me what you see in that creepy ass boyfriend of yours."

"He's not my boyfriend!" I shriek.

"Now you sound like a fourteen year old who's in denial." Joy says. "Do you know what you remind me?" She asks.

Dear lord. "What?"

Joy's brows furrow and she places the roof of her hand on her forehead. "Forget it. It's bullshit."

"Come on! Don't leave me hanging." I whine.

"You won't like what I have to say." She pipes. "Becides it's not even accurate."

"I'm gonna die of curiosity here!" I insist my fists pounding the floor wooden floor.

"Curiosity kills the cat." Joy fires back. "If you die at least do it quietly."

"Joy!"

She laughs and I let out a giggle at the funny comeback. "Well, when the abusive husband beats his wife and she continues to take his side despite the fact that he's being a total asshole. You're the unlucky wife Elena and I don't like what is going on with you and Jungkook. If you decide that you want to be in a relationship with someone as cruel and ruthless as him I can't do anything about it. It's your life. I can't tell you how to live. " When we were at the Empire Hotel I thought that he was acting differently because of the alcohol, but he proved me wrong the same night when he tucked me under the covers on the bed. That's when I knew I could trust him.

My heart sinks at my stomach at what she said. Jungkook wouldn't raise a hand at me. He isn't that kind of person.

"It's evident that you two are toxic as hell. Like, when we were all outside his house and Yoongi came in to hug you, Jungkook immediately dragged you away from him and kissed you. There's something wrong with that guy Elena I hope you're aware of that."

I stare at her aghast. I haven't told her half of the things Jungkook did to me in the Golden Closet or at uni and she managed to jump into that conclusion with such little information. Damn, that knife sharp intuition. There are times when I think that I wouldn't want to have Joy as an enemy. Don't get me wrong, she is the best friend anyone would wish for. Selfless, compassionate, caring, outgoing, a little shy and a total badass. But if someone betrays her trust the only thing left to do is run or face her wrath. If we were sworn enemies, Joy would make my life a living hell.

"At least Jungkook isn't abusive or I would have called the cops." Joy slurs as I nervously play with the hem of my shirt. He didn't abuse me physically but he did fuck up my mental state. At least right now he's trying to make up for it. Right?

"He gave me time to think about us." I say lowly. "He didn't press me."

"Maybe," She shrugs "but he did kiss you to prove a point."

That's true, but I evaded it.

"He's possessive over you Elena." Joy says. "To think that he made you not talk to Jimin-"

"He told me not to have sex with Jimin." I correct her.

"Same thing. Trust me, when he sees you interacting with Jimin he will tell you to steer clear from him sooner or later." Joy says.

Knowing Jungkook that could actually happen. He is indeed possessive, selfish and manipulative. But I'm sure there's a solid reason why his tenacity knows no bounds. When we were together in my kitchen last week, I saw a side in him I haver never witnessed before. Underneath that ice cold exterior I discovered a soft version of Jungkook. He is awkward and he's capable of feeling emotions deeply. The environment he grew up in was toxic since he was neglected by his father and abused by his stepmother. All of that pain in his childhood years created a permanent scar. He has suffered and he's damaged but I know that there's good in him. I can feel it. I don't want to give up on him, now that I know that there's more to the story. Jungkook opened up to me. He talked to me about one of the most excruciating moments of his life even though it was extremely hard. He trusted me and I'm willing to help him if he lets me.

"I know that you're telling me this for my own good." I say to Joy. "But when he's with me he's an entirely new person. He told me things about his fam-past. And there's a reason why he's the way he is."

"Elena..." Joy starts. "Let's say that Jungkook is indeed different around you. But what if its all an act? What if when you finally surrender, he alters back to the cruel persona he had in the beginning?"

I have considered that. I still don't trust Jungkook entirely but something deep inside me just knows that he is genuine.

"I'll be careful." I say.

"You better." Joy retorts and grabs a bag of chips from the coffee table. "You're naive Elena and vulnerable too and that makes it easy for other assholes to take advantage of you. You need to stop focusing on your emotions and start using your head. "

Tell me something I don't already know.

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