*T.O.B.Y pov*
He gave me a small smile and grabbed my hand, throwing his sack of items over his shoulder, which I copied. We walked through the woods in a comforting silence, it was beautiful, the things we passed, a few flowers blooming from the ground, red and yellow leaves falling from trees and on the ground. Trees were seeping maple and ridding themselves of acorns and pinecones, the ground with soft soil that molded with our feet as we took another step. Birds chirping a melodic song that echoed as another began to sing it.
We walked for another couple of minutes until we stopped in an open meadow, so many different varieties of flowers sprouted from the ground and god, it was just beautiful. he let go of my hand and walked towards a giant rock in the near center of it. He placed down the bag and brought out a blanket and a few pillows before laying them out, setting a DVD player in front of it before gesturing me over. I tried to move, I just couldn't, my body was going through really weird sensations and I felt so touched. It's a new feeling, but I really like it, maybe I should just ignore it. But then he's never looked at me that way before.
He dusted off his sweats and grabbed my hands before leading me to the blanket where he sat down, propping himself against the pillows and the rock. I settled in between his legs, cuddling into his body, letting my head rest on his shoulder.
"What's his name?" I asked as he began to rub his fingertips along my scalp.
"Who's name?" He asked softly, causing me to sigh contently.
"Your ex, tell me about him, please,"
"For starters, his name is Ashton, I've known him since I was a sophomore in school. He was a new kid, from Ireland and I found his accent very alluring. If not for that, it would be his smile that I thought could make the world stop. I don't regret dating him, but I do regret not getting to know him before,"
"Why is that?" I asked curiously, isn't being in a relationship a perfect way to get to know someone?
"Because I wouldn't have dated him if I found out that even though he is beautiful, he is deceitful and ugly on the inside. He isn't loyal and he doesn't understand when to stop some of the things he does,"
"Sounds like me.." I muttered feeling my chest collapse on me a bit as I thought about it.
"No." He said catching my attention. "It doesn't sound like you at all, it's vice versa when it comes to you. You're putting up this front that you're some type of egotistical, asshole that doesn't listen or give a damn about anyone. But, you actually do on the inside, that's why you put up the front. If you were just you, Toby, you'd be the most beautiful person in the world in my eyes, because it takes a lot to try not to be what people want you to be. And for you to be you without that disguise and be proud of it? Wow," by the end of that I was blushing a whole lot, I leant up and kissed the corner of his mouth before returning to my spot and happily sighing out a thank you. This is it. He's letting me in.
"So, why do you do it? Why do you hide?" he asked me causing me to tense up a bit, nobody really knows this but Ray and Uncle Jay, they're the ones who had given me pointers and helped guide me through this whole process, much to their reluctance. But, I guess the best way of explaining is starting off with the perfect example.
"You've seen Roman, I'm so jealous of him, the way he doesn't care about who knows how submissive he is, how carefree he is. You saw what I did to him, I took advantage of his situation and used him till I was tired of him. I didn't want to go through that myself, so once freshman year began, out came the bad boy, I felt like I was the King of the World for the year. Then sophomore year came and so did Marcus, who caught me in a moment of weakness and has been prying at me ever since," The more I talked about it, the worse the feeling in my chest felt, like there was a weight sitting on me and I couldn't move it. "I do it to cover my extreme urge for submission, to show that I wasn't one to be taken advantage of, or one that anyone would want to hurt, but as each day goes by I just wanted to crawl into an abyss. I hate having to assert myself into situations. I dislike having to be the person to make the first move, always stand my ground when really I'm trembling and want to just accept the situation, I am absolutely exhausted of pretending I'm someone I'm not, but I'm so scared that once I stop pretending and accept myself, Marcus will swoop right in and force me to submit to him," I can't even stop my words anymore, this has been building up in my chest since Freshman year and now that I'm saying it, it all is coming out.
"Then this year came, I wasn't expecting someone to come in and crumble the walls I've built to keep myself safe. No matter how many times I try and build them back up, the moment I see him they fall right back down. He never once scared me or threatened me into submitting, I simply feel myself wanting to, and that's what scares me. Thankfully, I know he'll protect me, he's done it a couple of times before, yanno? I-I want to chase him, I've tried, but it doesn't really work, he distances himself from me when I get too close, so here I am trying to think if I'm simply his type before I attempt another chase," I finished, hoping he'd get the hint, that I was talking about him.
"Maybe, you should stop the chase-" oh. "because he himself is coming to realize he can't stop his feelings and wants to chase you. Maybe you should wait, and see if he will chase after you once he's ready to do so." He responded and my heart skipped a beat. Realize his feelings? He would chase me? I had to stop myself from hugging him and smiling widely, I might scare him off. So instead I bit my lip and played with my thumbs.
"What movie do you want to watch? I also brought TV shows, if you want to watch those instead," he said rummaging through the contents of his bag.
"You have Chicken Little?!" I gasped out snatching it from his hands and glancing up at him silently begging for him to let us watch it.
"I said you're the one who is supposed to pick silly, not the other way around," he chuckled nuzzling his nose in the crevasse of my neck causing my to giggle and move away.
"Stop, that tickles," he smiled down at me a little too innocently, which strangely reminded me of earlier today, but slowly I was becoming lost in his eyes again. His smile fell a little as we just stared at each other, feeling as if the world has stopped and I was stuck in a universe that was being held in his shining eyes. He was leaning towards me and my breath had hitched as earlier today replay in my head, we were so close, the way his lips hadn't even touched mine but still gave me the exhilaration and the burst of tickles in my stomach. His nose pressed against mine, nudging it up causing me to breathlessly laugh. I just want him to kiss me, right here in the perfect spot where we can just relax and be free. But all was once again ruined, because reality is a bitch and won't let me have perfect moments, which kinda sucks but hey, I learn my lesson don't I? Not really...
My phone was currently screaming at me 'Oh no! It's your dad is calling! What does he want? WHAT DOES HE WAAANT??'
Oh god. I could feel embarrassment rushing all the way up to the tips of my ears for this one, never in my life have I regretted anything more than choosing this ring-tone.
"Aren't you going to answer it?" He asked leaning back against the rock causing all hope of him kissing me at all to just vanish in thin air.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket before answering it.
"Yeah?" I answered irritably.
"Toby! Where are you? Officer Wanker-" I couldn't stop myself from busting out in a fit of giggles.
"Officer Wanker," I laughed out trying to calm down from it but I couldn't stop giggling.
"Toby, are you gay?" Well, that stopped me. "Wh-what?" I choked out. He asked the same question and panic raised in my body, how did he find out? Wait- Wanker? Fuck, that's Roman's last name, fucking little rat.
"D-dad! You're breaking up, I gotta go, bye!" I hung up feeling panicked, Roman told his dad something for John to have gone to my house. I'm royally screwed for the next few days and I feel really bad right now. I jumped when a pair of hands grabbed onto my waist.
"It's alright Toby, just put it on airplane mode and we can watch your movie, yeah?" he said rubbing my arms slowly, I nodded and relaxed against his body putting the disc in the DVD player and pressing play. His fingers returned to my hair and his head rested on the top side of mine. If people passed by, they could probably think we're a couple, I only wish their thoughts would be true. These couple thoughts with him really warmed my heart, and the rest of my body just picturing a relationship with him, just like this moment. I can count this as our one sided first date, because this is just perfect, beautiful, and relaxing, where I can be myself.
"Penny for thoughts?" he questioned shifting a little bit.
"Just imagining an incredible first date," I censored, I know he doesn't date anymore, so what's the point in telling him I really like him and imagining us as a couple and this as our little date? That would definitely make him distance himself from me all over again.
We watched a couple more movies before I started to fall asleep, he moved his hands to around my waist and gently pushed his face into my neck. The sun was already gone and the majority of our snacks have vanished, we just laid there as the Beast had let Belle go back to care for her father.
"If we were a couple, would you count this as our first date?" I sleepily asked, feeling his lips lightly press to my neck as he hummed in thought.
"Most definitely," he replied causing me to smile lazily and close my eyes drifting off to sleep.
"Night bad twinky," he whispered causing me to softly smile and finally fall asleep in his arms, forgetting all about the pizza and to once again ask of his name.
*********
L×U×K×E pov
I've dug myself way too deep right now. I shouldn't have let him in, I should've pushed him away, but now that he's in I can't push him away. Twice I nearly kissed him, and I don't regret it because I want it to happen. But, I just can't. I know he'll leave, just like everyone does, my parents, my brother, Ashton, Oscar. If I can't keep them as mine like I want, then why try keeping someone else who will leave? Toby puts up this front and I know he's going to leave. I can feel it.
I don't want him to leave, there's something about him that I haven't seen before and I can't stop myself from enjoying the time in our world where I get to keep him.
It's my turn to chase, let's just hope the past doesn't ruin my plans.