When Tyler woke up, he was in Pierce's bed alone. It wasn't hard to figure to figure out where the man was, since the apartment smelled strongly of bacon, and he smiled as he stretched his arms over his head, back cracking and ass aching in a pleasant way that reminded him of who had been there. He felt a little guilty that he hadn't told Pierce how he felt the night before, but it didn't seem to be the right time, and he hadn't felt like he needed to.
They had connected, and he knew Pierce had felt it to. It had been a wonderful night, despite him getting punched in the face, and he felt like it was the last push he needed to confess to Pierce with complete confidence. He was no longer nervous. It would be fine.
Still, Tyler wanted to see what James thought about all of it, and wanted to make sure his best friend knew that he wasn't angry for pulling Joe out of the way since it had worked out well for him in the end.
Remembering the punch to his face, Tyler raised his hand and pressed two fingers to either side of his nose, hissing lightly when he applied a light pressure. It was worth it, he reminded himself, thinking of Pierce's mismatched eyes staring up at him, expression something like awe. It was so worth it.
To: James
So I wimped out and didn't tell him.
As he waited for a response, he pulled one of Pierce's blankets up to his nose, inhaling deeply. They smelt lightly like smoke, but more so the natural smell of Pierce. The shirt Tyler had borrowed smelled like that too. He was going to go home in it, he vowed.
From: James
Are you fucking serious.Tyler, we had this all planned out
To: James
Well then I got punched in the face, and the plan changed
From: James
Sorry about that, by the way. Why didn't you end up telling him?
To: James
It's fine. I'm not mad.
And it felt weird telling him I liked him while also telling him about how I was once in love with your dead brother. I'm planning on telling him today though
From: James
That's fair
Good luck
To: James
Thanks, but I doubt I'll need it. Yesterday worked out well. We had a good time ;)
The response he would get from James would undoubtedly consist of swearwords, complaints, and declarations of sickness, so Tyler clicked off his phone and finally climbed out of bed.
At some point after he had passed out, Pierce must have helped him into clean boxers. His shirt was the same one he had worn last night, and an inspection of the front of it told him he had somehow managed not to get cum on it. Even if he had, he'd still be stealing it.
He decided that he was decent enough to be seen by either of the Bradford's who occupied the apartment and moved towards the bedroom door. There were voices beyond it, indicating that both boys were awake, and his hand just landed on the doorknob when he heard his name spoken. He paused, listening closely.
"Shut up," Pierce snapped in response to whatever Garett has said, resulting in laughter from his older brother.
"I'm just teasing, I don't mind the cum stained sweatpants on the floor as long as you pick them up yourself," Garett claimed and Tyler felt his face get warm. "You know I'm happy for you. I like when it's Tyler and not those crazy people you bring home from the bar".
"Yeah," Pierce admitted. Tyler's hand dropped from the knob, and he took a step backwards. Still their voices reached him. "Sorry about the last one. She was kind of crazy, and I'm pretty sure she was high".
"Oh, she most definitely was". Someone was moving around the kitchen, something sizzling loudly on the stove. Pierce swore. "You know she tried to give me drugs on the way out as a thank you or whatever for the heavenly night you had given her. She left her number. You ever call her?"
"No," Pierce responded. "Why would I have called her? It was just sex. I don't get people anymore. Every time I brought someone home, regardless of gender, they'd go on talking about how we should get together for coffee or some shit like what we did meant something". Pierce continued to talk, but Tyler moved far enough away from the door that his voice was just a muffle. Shakily, he took a seat on the end of the bed, thinking about what he had just heard.
Pierce had sex with other people. While Tyler had assumed this was at one point happening, he hadn't really considered it to be a recent thing, at least, not since things had begun to change between them. Garett has referred to it as if it happened regularly, and he had said Pierce was bringing them home from the bar, and he had only been legal for a little over three months.
They weren't together, Pierce had a right to do this, but Tyler feared it meant his feelings were one sided. The entire time he'd loved Pierce, Tyler hadn't even considered having sex with another person. Even when he hadn't been acknowledging his feelings, it was unappealing to him. Sex was something he had shared with Pierce, and Pierce only.
And apparently sex meant nothing to him. He probably only allowed Tyler to continuously come around because he understood that sex was sex. Never had Tyler brought up being anything more with Pierce, and that was probably what he liked about him. When Pierce had looked up at him the night before and marveled at him, he was probably just amazed that Tyler was so good at being able to separate sex and relationships.
Tyler turned on his phone again and texted James.
To: James
I think I've made a big mistake. How soon can you come and get me?
It took him a minute to respond, but when he did the answer calmed him considerably.
From: James
I'll be there in five minutes. I'm just at the coffee shop now.
Five minutes. Tyler glanced at the time on his phone, and then crawled out of bed again, this time going to the dresser instead of the door. He opened and closed three drawers before he found Pierce's pants, and he randomly grabbed a pair and pulled them on.
Checked the time. Still four minutes. Damn.
Tyler began to wander around the room, gathering his discarded formal clothes from the night before. He got close enough to the door to hear again, but they had moved on to discussing family matters, Pierce ranting about his oldest brother.
Just as he was folding up his dress shirt it occurred to him that the conversation beyond the door had ceased. A moment later, Pierce's bedroom door cracked open and a blue and a golden eye widened in surprise upon seeing him awake. "Oh, you're up. I was just gonna grab my cell phone real quick," Pierce explained, though he leaned in the doorway instead of doing so. "How'd you sleep?"
"Uh". Tyler had slept amazingly, warm with Pierce's arms around him. This wasn't something he wanted to admit though. Not anymore. "Good, I guess". Pierce's eyebrows raised slightly and Tyler turned away, back to his folded pile of clothes on the bottom of the bed. "I'm just a little sore is all".
"Oh". There was surprise in Pierce's voice and Tyler immediately knew why. Never before had he complained about aches and pains after their nights together. At least, not to Pierce. Nervously, Tyler glanced back at the boy in the door, only to find Pierce's eyes staring at the pile of cloths. "Are you going somewhere?"
"Oh, uh, yeah," Tyler confirmed, gathering his clothes in his arms. "I need to go home. My mother called and she's upset that she didn't know I was going to be spending the night here-"
"I texted her," Pierce interrupted, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"You texted my mom?" Tyler inquired, incredibly surprised.
"Yes". There was a calculating look on Pierce's face now that made Tyler nervous. He knew there was something off with him. Under no circumstance could Tyler let him know what it was. It was far to embarrassing. "I didn't want her to be up all night worrying about you".
That was incredibly sweet, and it made Tyler love Pierce even more, but he pushed those feelings— and all other feelings really— back at the moment. "Oh, yeah, well, she's mad that I didn't let her know because I promised her I'd keep her updated with these kind of things. Oh! I also need to take my pill in the mornings so she needs me home to do that," Tyler covered, confident that his lie would work this time since it was mostly true. He had promised his mother that he'd keep her updated, and he did need to take his pill.
"Alright," Pierce accepted, nodding his head. He didn't seem pleased, and Tyler wondered why. "Well, I'll give you a ride then-"
"Oh!" Tyler checked the screen of his phone, relaxing when he saw a text from James confirming his arrival. "No need. My mom sent James because I wasn't responding to her messages and he just got here".
The frown on Pierce's face deepened but Tyler ignored it, moving forward and slipping past him into the living room, quickly moving towards the door, where his shoes from the night before were discarded. "Hey Garett," he greeted on his way, not bothering to look up as he addressed the man.
"Uh, hi?"
"Tyler," Pierce began, following behind him. "Let me at least walk you out. There's something I actually need to talk to you about".
"Uh". Tyler picked up his shoes instead of putting them on. "No, I'm fine. I'll talk to you later, bye!"
The door was closing between then before Pierce could say anything more and Tyler breathed out a heavy sigh of relief, dropping his head softly back against the door. "Fuck," he breathed. "Fuck fuck fuck-"
Garett's voice reached him through the door. "I don't know man, he's pretty strange".
"Shut up," Pierce said in response, and something about his voice made Tyler feel guilty. For a split second, he considered going back inside, but then he recalled Pierce's words and began to move away from the apartment, down the hall towards the elevator, wondering if he would ever go back and if this meant things were actually going to be over.
***
"Okay, talk," James demanded, pouring coffee into the upturned mug in front of Tyler. When James had said he was at the coffee shop, what he had failed to mention was that he was in line when Tyler had texted and hadn't gotten coffee and breakfast like he had planned before rushing over. Because they clearly needed to talk and we're both hungry— smelling Pierce's breakfast had done that to Tyler— they went to get breakfast at a diner they frequently occupied to discuss Tyler's morning. "What possibly could have gone wrong in five minutes? Did you tell him how you felt?"
"Didn't get a chance to," Tyler answered, blowing some steam away from his drink to cool it. "I was about to leave his bedroom since he was making breakfast and it smelled amazing but I overheard him and Garett talking about him bringing people home from the bar". It was quiet and James just looked at him, expression blank. "What?"
"Why does that matter?" James inquired.
"What do you mean why does that matter?" Tyler demanded, leaning back as the waitress put his plate of pancakes in front of him. "He's been sleeping with other people!" The girl delivering their food looked incredibly uncomfortable then, her cheeks flushed scarlet, so Tyler waited for her to give James his food as well before addressing him. "He's been having sex with other people".
"So what?" James asked, pouring syrup over his plate. "He can he have sex with whoever he wants right now. You're not together, and as far as he knows, you don't even like him".
"He has to have some idea," Tyler grumbled, thinking about how clingy he had been with Pierce in the couch, crawling onto him and holding on tight. "I don't know. I understand that he's allowed to sleep with other people, but I feel like if he had feelings for me he wouldn't".
"You don't know that".
"I've never even considered having sex with someone else. Not since the end of sophomore year, after your brother died and I started liking Pierce. Even when I wasn't letting myself accept that I loved him," Tyler explained. "Not even once".
"Okay, well. It wasn't like the opportunity was arising often for you," James pointed out. He still hadn't touched his food. Tyler felt himself glaring at his best friend. "Tyler—"
"Would you have had sex with someone when you were interested in Kalen? Before you were together? Did you ever even think about it?" Tyler pointed out. Averting his eyes, James sighed.
"No, I wouldn't," he answered. "But you should still talk to him about it before you make any decisions".
As he began to cut his pancakes, Tyler shook his head. "No. I also heard him talking to Garett about how sex is just sex and how he doesn't get why people these days can't just understand that. I can't tell him how I feel now. That would just be embarrassing since I know he doesn't feel the same way".
"You don't know that," James protested, but Tyler waved him off, distracting himself with his food.
He didn't want to talk about it anymore, didn't want to think about it. It hurt, if he was being honest, realizing that Pierce truly didn't like him. While he had known this was a possibility, he didn't like knowing that it was the truth.
"Tyler, please just talk to him," James pleaded, going as far to reach out and grab his wrist, halting his fork. "Please".
"Why are you being so insistent?" Tyler asked, pulling his hand free but setting his fork down.
"Because I'm positive that Pierce has feelings for you. Please. You don't have to tell him that you love him, just ask him about what you heard. I'm sure he'll be able to explain it".
"I thought he liked me too," Tyler admitted, looking down. "He doesn't, James. Just let it go. I already feel super stupid about the whole thing".
"Stop running away from-"
"God James," Tyler snapped, cutting his friend off. "Just let it go. I'm a little upset and I don't want to talk about this".
"Fine," James grumbled, looking down. "I'm done. For now. You're going to need to talk to him eventually".
***
Since James was angry at him their breakfast didn't last for very long. His friend had finished eating before him and then sat there, glaring at him silently as Tyler worked on finishing his food, so he had requested a box for the rest so they could leave.
The ride to Tyler's house was silent, but he was just thankful that they were no longer talking about Pierce, and James wasn't pestering him to go back and talk to the man. He knew that he probably should, and eventually would, he just wanted a little time, and it would have been nice if he could talk to his friend about how he was feeling without James immediately telling him what to do.
Maybe Tyler was upset as well.
"Thanks for coming to get me," Tyler said once James pulled into his driveway.
"Tyler-"
Before James could finish what he was saying, Tyler was out of the car, shutting the car door a little harder than necessary between them. He was having a shit day, and his nose really hurt, and he really just wanted to be alone.
His mother was waiting for him inside, and she immediately pulled him into a tight hug, causing him to drop his folded clothes onto the ground. "Hi sweetie, how did everything go?" She pulled back and smiled up at him, but it fell quickly when she saw his expression. "What happened?"
"I don't think it's gonna work out," he answered, shrugging his shoulders. The action made her hands slip off his shoulders.
"What? Why?"
"I don't want to talk about," Tyler admitted, shaking his head. "I just want to go lay down for a while if that's alright. My face hurts and I haven't really had the best day".
He moved back, pausing to pick up his fallen cloths before retreating towards the stairs. The sound of her voice stopped him. "Tyler... did he hurt you?"
"Not on purpose," he answered after a moment of silence. "Actually, I kind of ended up hurting myself. I shouldn't have allowed myself to believe he could actually-" Breaking off, he laughed, because the alternative was crying. "Stupid".
She didn't say anything more to him, letting him climb the stairs in peace. He went straight to his room and laid down in bed. His medication was on his nightstand and he sighed, taking a pill before closing the bottle and curling in on himself.
He couldn't stop thinking about it. Why couldn't he stop thinking about it?
It wasn't a difficult question to answer, because his feelings weren't exactly new. There was something familiar about them, something that reminded him of a day long ago, sitting in his bedroom and holding his phone to his ear as Ace said, "no, Tyler. I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way. I wish I could, but..."
At the time, he had been hurt, but his love for Ace has persisted. It was the same now.
It would be easy if he didn't love Pierce, if hearing the man admit those things had managed to break Tyler's feelings for him, but they hadn't. He still wanted Pierce, still wished he was with him. Love had always made Tyler weak, had made him throw away any regard he had for himself. If he confronted Pierce, and the man asked him to keep things exactly the same, asked if Tyler would still have sex with him while he had sex with others, Tyler was sure he would agree, just so he would be able to see Pierce, even if it would tear him up on the inside. He'd be willing to break his own heart further because he loved him and would do anything for him.
But then he was also scared that maybe Pierce wouldn't even allow him this. Maybe Pierce would be so turned off by Tyler's feelings that he wouldn't want to see him anymore.
No matter how he looked at it, talking to Pierce before he had his head on straight and his emotions in check wasn't an option. He needed to stop being so weak. So easily controlled. So...
Pathetic.
Why had he allowed himself to think someone like Pierce could possibly have feelings for him? For years he had been thinking of Pierce negatively to trick himself into believing he wasn't in love with him that he had kind of begun to see Pierce as someone who was obtainable to him, as someone he could be equal with. He had stopped looking at it objectively, stopped looking at Pierce as the smart, independent, attractive, well-dressed, quick witted, and surprisingly thoughtful man that he was, and started just looking at him as Pierce.
It was his own fault for being hurt like this. He had been reaching to high, it was no wonder it hurt when he fell back down to reality.
A/n I've never wanted to shake one of my characters so badly, and I really wanted to shake Carter. Let the frustration commence