I woke up the next morning holding Stacy in my arms, tears stains on my cheek from the night before, she had them too. I couldn't believe she was moving back in with that bitch and there was nothing I could do. She couldn't stay here unless she was adopted and I had a problem with being in love with my adopted sibling.
She looked so content sleeping in my arms, I didn't want to wake her, I didn't want her to move a muscle, I didn't want her to leave. They say all good things come to an end, but not my Stacy, no, she would be mine forever. I took a quick look at my phone to see what today was. It was Saturday, we had all day together until the pig came to pick her up. I hated that bitch with an intense passion. I closed my eyes and pulled her in tighter hoping I would never have to let her go.
We slept for another half an hour before I couldn't sleep anymore, I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and kissed her on the top of her head lightly. I loved her so much and now she's slipping out of my grasp. She woke up slowly smiling weakly at me.
“Morning.” She mumbled into my shirt.
“Good morning angel.” I mumbled into the top of her head.
She turned onto her back and rubbed her eyes and ran her fingers thought her hair in distress, I could tell that she didn't want to leave as much as I didn't want her to leave. She turned her head slowly so that she was facing me and let out a small sigh.
“I should pack…” She said, her voice cracking.
“Hey, I’ll come over everyday, I’ll drop you home from school, if you take a day off I’ll come see you right after school. Just because you live in another house doesn't mean you’re slipping away from me, it wont change a single thing.” I reassured her.
“Promise?”
“I promise Stacy.”
She cuddled up to me again, I felt her slow sad breaths on my chest. I started humming the chorus of ‘Roger Rabbit’ by ‘Sleeping with Sirens’ I knew it was one of her favourites. She giggled and started to trace patterns on my chest with her finger as I continued humming. Shortly after she decided to have a shower and get ready.
I went into her room and started putting things in suitcases, this was one of the hardest things Ive ever had to do, that hardest was packing up my dads stuff when he died. Stacy wasn't dead so it was less painful, but the thought of her being away from me in an environment that once made her try and kill herself was driving me mad.
After I had packed up most of Stacy’s stuff I went down stairs and made myself a cup of coffee. I sat at the bench and wondered what would happen to my poor angel when she got back into the house, I was hoping that her mum was telling the truth, I don’t want Stacy going somewhere where I don’t know if she’s okay or not. Its killing me from the inside out.
“Tony love?” My mum came up behind me and put her hand on my shoulder.
I quickly flinched before realising it was just her.
“Oh, hey mum.” I said dryly.
“Are you okay dear?”
“No I am not okay. She cant leave with that bitch! What if she.. What if she gets bad again and I wont be there to save her? Her mum wont care like I do!”
“Hunny, all we can do is pray that our Stacy will be okay. She always has you, and she knows that.”
I nodded and went back to drinking my coffee before making Stacy a tea and bringing it upstairs to her. She was sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed with her head tilted back in frustration. She heard me coming in as I sat beside her and held out the cup of tea. She gladly took it and gave me a small smile.
“This isn't fair.” She said looking into her tea.
I put my arm around her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. I wrapped my arms around tighter giving her a few gentle squeezes letting her know that it would be okay and that I was always there.
“It’ll be okay, I promise. Just you wait. You and your mum will form a stronger bond and you’ll be just like a family. Mark seems like a nice enough guy, maybe you can open up to him.”
“And watch him walk out of our lives just like my dad and get the blame for it again? I don’t think so.”
The words were so sharp that I think they hurt her more then they hurt me. I saw the tears inside her eyes waiting to burst. I hated seeing her like this, so venerable and scared. I still couldn't rack my brain as to why her mother chose now to take her daughter back.
We sat there for a few moments looking around the now empty room. We didn't come in here much. It was mainly just for Stacy to store all her stuff, but even still, it felt weird. As my eyes wondered around the room I pictured where all her stuff would have still been. I heard a small sniffle beside me. I turned my head around to Stacy burring her head into her legs. She was silently crying, trying to stop me from realising. I put my arm around her and pulled her in close, she moved so that she was sitting on my lap while I was cradling her. My beautiful girl, why did all these sad thing happen to you? Its not fair.
“Hey, look at me.” I cupped her chin and tilted her head back so she was looking at me. “Everything is going to be okay, it’ll take some getting used to but soon it'll seem like normal.”
She nodded and rested her head on my chest. We sat like that for a little while and just talked.
“What do you think happens when we die Tony?”
“I think that when you die, you wake up in the most comfortable bed in the world, you walk over to the mirror and see yourself as you where when you were the happiest. Then you walk out of the room and you’re reunited with everyone you love the most. Thats why I think people say that they’ll see each other again.”
“Wanna know what I think?”
“What do you think Stace?”
“I think that you relive your life over and over again. Like a continuous thing you know? Like when people say that just before you die you relive your whole life in seven seconds, I dont think it stops. Because what happens after that seven seconds? It would just be a cycle.”
“Deep.” I joked
She playfully nudged me and let out a small giggle.
Before we new it her mum was here. My mum said she wasn't going to be the one to open the door for her because she would probably end up putting her in hospital. I didn't blame her. There was a loud knock on the door. We collected Stacy’s things and walked downstairs to the front door. Her mum was waiting at the door smiling at Stacy with open arms.
“Darling! Are you ready?” Debra said a little to enthusiastic for my liking.
“Lets just get in the fucking car.” Stacy spat.
Her mum was shocked for a seconds before offering to take her bags o the car which Stacy declined. We stood in the door way for a a moment before she leaped into my arms and started crying. I immediately wrapped my arms around her and geld her in my warm embrace. After all the things that happened to the precious girl now this happens. I wished I never had to let her go and she could sleep next me me every night and I could make sure she was happy and okay. But no, her mum happens to walk back and take full claim for her actions and steal her away from me. I know she didn't live far away and I could always get to her, but what if she finds a place where no one can see scars and she covers them up. What if she goes back into her room and finds a syringe that she hid away and cant resist the temptation.
I still remember that day like it was yesterday.
The first thing my eyes met was a high Stacy lying on her bed staring at the roof giggling every five seconds. I looked on the floor to see an empty syringe lying on the ground. My eyes suddenly widened at this sight and I went rushing to Stacy’s side.
“Stacy what did you take!?” I asked yelling hoping she could hear me let alone understand me.
“Hehe, oh Tony you’re so sweet and cute! Lay down on the bed with me.”
“No Stace, Im taking you to a fricken hospital.”
As the memories flooded back to me of that day and how I had found her the tighter my trip was.
“Please dont leave.” I whispered.
“I dont want to.” She whispered back, her voice cracking.
“Stacy come on! We have to get going, I want to show you your room!” Her mum yelled out from the car.
I loosened my grip on her and watched as she slowly walked to the car, tears running down her cheeks. She opened the car door and sat in the back, staring out of the window straight at me. I tried to hold back the tears but it was so hard. As the car pulled out of the driveway I turned around and slammed the door shut.