Katniss POV
That night I dream of my family, I see my mother, Prim and my father in the distance, I continue to run towards them but they continue to movie farther away, without moving their feet. I wake up feeling exhausted.
Peeta POV
The weather the next day seems to match our mood. The rain pounds on the windows and the winds push tree branches against the house.
Katniss and I find Effie sipping hot cocoa on the couch. "Morning Effie." I say softly.
"Morning you two," Effie says, standing up. "I packed some things for you."
"How'd you know we were going?" I ask.
"Plutarch visited me last night." Effie responds. "He said you might be heading out for a few days, for an interview."
"Are you okay with us going?" Katniss asks nervously. "We can stay if you want."
"Do you two want to go?" Effie asks.
"Not really." I say.
"Then why are you going?" Effie questions. "It can't be because you miss the limelight."
"Maybe we just miss our friends," Katniss suggests.
Effie shakes her head. "Katniss please, I may not be Haymitch, but I know you well enough. You're not going to meet up with friends."
"I want to them that I'm okay." Katniss says, her voice muted. "I want to show them that I'm still me, I'm not broken."
"Your not broken!" I say angrily. Katniss simply turns away from me.
"And you Peeta?" Effie asks, ignoring my outburst. "Why are you going?"
I shrug. "I dunno." I mutter.
"That's not good enough Peeta." Effie says. "Answer me."
"You sound like our teachers from school." I say, rubbing my brow. "I guess I just..."
"Just what?" Effie prods.
"I want to get over my fear" I mumble. "I don't want to let the capital own me anymore."
"They don't own you Peeta." Katniss says fiercely.
"Last time I needed your help to walk up stares, because I was so scared." I say sadly.
"And I still need you to calm me after nightmares." I reply
"I want to get over my fear." I say angrily. "I don't need a reason, I'm going, end of story."
"Okay." Katniss says, raising her hands. "I'm sorry Peeta, you're right. I'm glad we're doing this together."
I smile softly at her.
"Come,"Effie says. "I'll walk you to the station."
We walk quietly towards the station, I notice people staring at us as we walk with our bags. Probably wondering if we're leaving for good.
Effie hugs us tightly when we arrive. "Stay together." She instructs, her face hidden from us.
"Promise us that you'll if anything happens, you'll call us right away." Katniss says urgently, gripping Effie's shoulders.
"Of course." Effie says, hugging Katniss again.
Effie comes and hugs me again, "Be there for her." Effie whispers quietly. "She'll want to be strong for you, but she'll be hurting too."
"You be strong too," I say. She nods tightly at this.
Once inside the train, we stay at the windows, waving as the train pulls out.
After district twelve has finally vanished from view. I guide Katniss into the sitting room. A dull flat expression has taken the place of her light smile.
"Want some cocoa?" I offer.
"Its weird." She says, either ignoring me, or to busy thinking to hear, "Not having Effie and Haymitch on the train."
I nod, without Haymitch, Effie or the Avoxes. The train has assumed a cold lifeless demeanour. "You're right." I say.
"Its funny." She says, her eyes meeting mine. "Our train rides were never happy occasions. But now...now I just want those train rides back."
Tears start to come to my eyes.
"We'll go on another train ride together." I say as confidently as I can. "Only this time, we won't have death hanging over us, we could visit another district one day, that could be interesting."
She smiles at me. "Thats why I fell in love with you."
A jolt goes through my body, that was an admittance of love. For me!
"The ability to make bad moments good." She adds.
"And i..." I reach over, holding her chin up. "Fell in love..."
Hers eyes glisten, with strength and love, something the capitals never managed to steal from her completely.
"With a girl who drops beehives on me!" I say, pulling back.
"Oh ha ha." Katniss says, smiling in spite of herself. "I made up for it, didnt I? Finding you at the river, risking my life to get you medicine..."
"Drugging me to do so," I add, "Nearly killing yourself in the process..."
"Hush." Katniss says, hitting me softly with a pillow.
I laugh as she pulls back, to hit me again, my hands covering my face dramatically. But the memory transforms, suddenly I'm back in my cell, a peacekeeper getting ready for the next punch, and so I scream. I scream so loud I have to cover my ears as I cry out.
Eventually, I come to, on the floor my head in Katniss's lap, like during the rebellion.
She hasn't realized I'm awake, she continues to brush my messy hair with her nimble fingers.
"You know that day in the jungle arena?" She asks, "Finnick and I were running from the jabber- jays, and we saw you, I was angry, that you stayed there, that you didn't run to find me, then I hit the divider, I should of known, you would of come if you could."
"And the day of the victory tour?" She continues. "We kissed, you told me you almost thought that kiss was real. Then you walked away, I felt hurt, but I knew I had no right to feel that way, after hurting you."
I think of speaking up, but before I can, I hear footsteps in the hall, and Katniss tenses as they grow closer.
"Miss Everdeen?" The voice says. "We'll be arriving in about an hour."
"Thank you." Katniss says, holding my shirt collar tightly.
"Miss..." The voice says hesitantly, "Is he alright?"
"Peeta's fine." Katniss replies, her voice light. "Just fine."
The footsteps fade away, and Katniss relaxes her grip on my collar.
"You can stop faking Peeta." She says. "I know you're awake."
I struggle to sit up, my muscles sore. Katniss has to put her hand around my back to keep me upright.
"How long was I out?" I ask weakly.
She frowns, the lightness in her voice gone. "You were screaming Peeta, for two whole hours, you wouldn't let me get close to you,"
Her voice falters. "I just had to sit there, while you stood there, cowering, screaming for help, for... someone to stop. After that you slept pretty soundly"
She reached over, shyly brushing the hair out of my eyes, like she did when I was asleep. "We'll be in the capital soon." She says. "You were out for a long time."
"Oh." I say. "And you stayed with me?"
"Of course," she says. "I wasn't just going to leave you like this."
"Thanks." I say squeezing her hand.
We stay there for awhile, simply holding hands, our heads leaning against each others, staring at the ground, and not at the capital buildings springing up around us.
When we arrive Katniss and I stand together, her hand in mine.
"There's car here for you two." The attendant says. "Security made sure there is no photographers."
"Okay, thank you." Katniss says. "Has anyone else arrived?"
"Yes ma'am. Almost everyone." He responds.
"Please no ma'am." Katniss says awkwardly. "It's Katniss."
"Yes m- Katniss, everyone has arrived, except for your mother."
I feel Katniss tense up beside me.
"Oh alright, thank you." She says sadly.
"Mrs. Everdeen will not be arriving until tomorrow." He says. "She had to stay longer due to work."
He was right, the train platform was deserted, giving off an unfamiliar feeling. Theres no citizens screaming our names or snapping pictures of us.
The car ride is filled with silence. My eyes are downcast, to avoid the empty seats in the car, but I can't avoid the silence, the silence that should be filled with Effies chatter and Haymitch's grumbles.
"We should be excited." Katniss says, her voice breaking through the silence like a rock breaking through a window. "A little bit excited, I mean."
"Oh yeah?" I ask.
"Some of the people we're meeting are our friends, they care about us." She says.
I smile, inspired by her sudden positivity. "Your right, it'll be nice seeing our friends."
Silence falls upon us again as the car starts to slow and a building begins to loom over us.
My heart starts pounding, reminding me of an important lesson.
Your past is always there. You can't escape from it.
It will always haunt you, no matter how many times you face it.
You can never escape fear.
Jeez I haven't uploaded in awhile.
Im sorry, I was focusing on a story that I was writing for my elective writing class, but that's finished now!!!
Hopefully I'll be able to upload a lot more now (fingers crossed, but I make no promises.)
Hope everyones staying safe from coronavirus.