Chapter 3
School.
The word arose on the tip of my tongue, like it was taunting me. The curtains on my window were a bright orange, light dancing through the gaps around the edges. It was still sunny, still smiling It was welcoming me to a new day. A new day that was ruined.
It wasn't that I hated school, or that I wasn't very good at it, but why did it have to be today? Horrible dreams had invaded my sleep. My beauty sleep. My sheet was somewhere on the floor from being kicked away, and my pillow was awkwardly positioned between my face and my arm. Under the lids of my now closed eyes, flashes of memories were upon me. Not knowing where they had come from, or why they were there, I tried to shoo them away. But they stayed, they always stayed. Just waiting for me.
I sighed when the alarm clock sung, like a tone death morning bird. It was telling me it was eight, and time to get up. I hurled my pillow at it, sinking lower into my mattress and praying that someone would invent a time machine already, just so I could go back and get more sleep.
Sleep, I thought, the noise as soothing as the actual thing. All I needed was sleep. Uninterrupted, unremitted sleep.
And I knew it would never come.
"Turn that thing off!" Was the greeting words from my brother, Lucas. He couldn't even be bothered to come and yell in my room.
"Turn yourself off," I muttered, but rolled over to hit the OFF button. The room was once again filled with that peaceful silence, but now I couldn't stay in it, as much as I wanted to.
"Hey," Mum said brightly when I stumbled out into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes. Her greeting was a lot nicer than Lucas's was, who was currently watching some television show in the other room. She took one look at me, then back at making sandwiches. "Not a good sleep?"
"When do I ever get a good sleep?" I mumbled, plopping myself down on a chair and trying to get used to the light. I was never a morning person.
"Don't just sit there like a plate of eggs, get yourself some breakfast," she was still whirling around the kitchen, her steps as lithe and as beautiful as swans. The house was coming alive now that she was up, readying itself for a brand new day. Curtains were pulled back, which was why I was finding it so hard to see. Bloody sun. The refrigerator was humming in the background, and Lucas's show drifted into the kitchen. My mother's long hair was back in a low pony, and she was dressed for a brand new start to her day. As a single mother, she had to work extra hard to take care of us, of the house. It was a struggle at times, juggling so much with so little. Like building a house with only a hammer. It was a hard job. But Mum was strong, and she told us that as long as she had us kids, she was sure she could manage.
"Well," I said, hesitating at the door of the fridge. "Speaking of eggs, wanna make me some?"
She stopped what she was doing and turned around to give me that look, the look that only mothers can give. Like a oh-no-way-you-didn't-just-asked-that kind of look.
"Please?" I pleaded. She could usually make her eyes water when she did it, which I found impossible, instead I just looked up at her, my own eyes wide and beseeching.
"Morning!" Came another bright voice from behind me. My older sister Amelia took one glance at my face and scowled. "That never works, Sydney."
"Well, will you make me some eggs?" I asked hopefully, stretching out from my position to face her. Amelia, beautiful as always, was dressed her all black, which meant she was ready for her work at a local hairdresser Her hair (which was currently dyed red) was slick and straight, something only a straightener could manage. I knew she had been up since five this morning getting ready, because she had woken me up. Again.
Her head shook. "No way. But I'll make some for myself."
"You won't have time," Mum said, planting a kiss on her cheek and nodding towards the clock. "You're already late."
"Late!" She squealed. "How can I be late?!"
"Maybe if you left at five, you wouldn't have been," I said.
She ignored me, yanking a piece of toast from the two that had just popped up and shoved it in her mouth. Faster than I could imagine, her bag was on her shoulder, her shoes were on, and she was at the door.
"Love you's!" She called behind her, the sound muffled by the toast in her mouth. The door slammed behind her. The house was filled with our farewells as she lolloped down the driveway. I watched her from the window, squinting past the sun, as she sped up and around the corner.
"You'll be late too," Mum nodded towards the clock a second time, and now I finally looked at it. My expression mirrored Amelia's.
"Eggs?" I asked again, bouncing off my chair and heading straight for my bedroom.
"Alright, but don't expect it every morning! It's Fruit Loops for rest of the year!"
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Secret- The Pierces
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What are you doing on Thursday?
The letters were bold, brilliant, like the only thing interesting in the room. And it was. Children's heads were drooping towards the table tops, their eyes closed and their ears in no mood for listening. The voice running over the documentary was dull, much like the atmosphere. The only person who looked genuinely interested was the teacher, watching with enthusiasm in his eyes.
My gaze went back to the note. It was Cassie's handwriting for sure, I could tell by the way she did her a's. Elegance and pure perfection. She was staring forward, at the screen, like she didn't even notice anything around her. With an inconspicuous look to my right, where the teacher was, I scribbled on the note with my red pen, my handwriting no comparison to Cassie's.
Nothing. Why?
I shoved it in her direction, and following her lead, looked straight ahead at the documentary. Flashes of colour filled my vision. Greens and reds and blues, all natural and wonderful. But boring, always boring. Who knew cowboys and Indians could be so boring?
"Buffalo were the main source of food for the Indians," The man was saying in monotone. "They used everything, even the tail, the nose. They used the ribs as sledges for the children and the bladder as bags for carrying water back to-"
There was a rustle and a cough. A sharp cough. The paper touched my elbow.
Wanna come late night with me? It read
I stiffened. Late night. Just the thought of shopping made me flinch. Shopping, like yesterday.
I felt something drop inside me, my stomach, my self confidence. I felt myself slip away, lower and lower into my seat.
Hell no, I wrote angrily.
She didn't write back, or ask any questions, so I guessed that Gemma must have told her about yesterdays, incident, already. I didn't even have time to mull over it, because Gemma, on the other side of me, whispered into my ear.
"You know what today is, don't you?" She said.
It was strange that she was asking me, I was the one who could never keep track of days, even time. I would always think that Thursday was Tuesday and Wednesday was Friday. But today, surprisingly, I did know. The first of December.
"First day of summer?" I whispered back with an excited smile on my face. Summer, just the word alone got the adrenaline running through my limbs. Finally, after a year of rain, even rain in spring, we would see some real sunshine. No more gloomy moods and hot chocolates. No more staring at clouds. Summer meant beaches, picnics, sleeping in, pools, hot chips, hot sun, hot boys. It meant hello bikini, goodbye sweatpants.
Gemma beamed down at me, nodding. "What else? Think, stupid."
"Stupid?" I mumbled, still trying to think. Who was she calling stupid?
"No, no answer? Do we have an answer?"
"I'm thinking, stupid. Shut up." I spat.
First of December did ring a bell, like somewhere deep inside my brain was telling me that something important was going on today, that something was happening. December, summer, holidays, beach, Christmas.
Christmas.
Christmas Dance.
"How could I forget?" I hissed, hanging my head in shame. Gemma chuckled under her breath.
Christmas Dance. Christmas Dance.The one night of the year that always managed to bring a smile to my face. Christmas Dance at school was like Prom, or Homecoming. It was the highlight of everyone's school experience. And why wouldn't it be? It was the hottest social event of the year. Everyone was there, in pretty dresses and sharp suits. Music and dancing, food, smiles, and the Christmas Queen. Th Christmas Queen. Only the prettiest girls were crowned Christmas Queen. Girls with raw beauty, with infinate smiles and the goddess in their eyes. Girls who could spend each day in Heaven, social Heaven. Beautiful, perfect girls.
"The Christmas Queen is open for business," Gemma grinned. "And you know what that means?"
My heart stammered then, like someone had given it an electric shock. I closed my eyes and sighed. Of course I knew what that meant, every year Gemma said it. Every December First, like she was on repeat.
"That we're all doomed to weeks of cat fights?" I muttered.
She sneered. "Yes, and no. It means that you are finally going to do it."
Finally. Now that was a word she hadn't used before. Did that mean I no longer had a choice? That it was out of my hands now?
"Gemma," I stared straight into her eyes, making sure she saw the pure truth in them. "I can't."
"No such word as can't."
"But there is," I smiled and looked away. "Page 309 of the dictionary."
"Nerd," she growled, glaring at me.
I stayed silent and watched the screen again. It was the horrible part, when the Indians were being invaded. How could we possibly know what they were feeling? Their homes, their land, even their children, being taken away from them? How can I be sitting here, feeling sorry for myself, when there are people out there that that is happening to?
"You can," Gemma said eventually, making me tear my eyes away from the screen. "I know you can, you can do anything if you put your mind to it."
"Thank-you, Guru, but I think I can handle things from here." I replied.
"Why not? Just tell me why not."
"I have told you," I said.
"No, you've avoided the subject. ," she was giving me that look again, the look that only a person like her could pull off. The kind of physco, determined glare.
It was no use fighting it, I melted when she gave me that look. I sighed again. "Because, it'll just embarrass me. You know I can't compete with her."
"It's not about winning, it's about having fun." She said almost sympathetically.
"And how can I have fun when she walks all over me?"
"Stop making up excuses. I know how much you want this. I know how long you've wanted it for. And I'm not going to let you throw away this dream, again and again."
"Well, how kind of you," I said bitterly.
"Kind is my middle name."
"I'm not going in it."
"We'll see about that."
"It's illegal to make people do things."
"You're really going to call the police on me? Puh-lease." The glare was back, and an evil smirk that also made my teeth snap together. "Oh, and Sydney?"
"Yes, Gemma?"
Abruptly. she reached over and pinched the skin on my arm. Then before I could react, balled her hand into a fist and punched it in the same spot. Pain trickled coldly in my arm.
"Ow! What was that for?" I exclaimed, rubbing the sore spot.
"Pinch and a punch for the first day of the month!" She giggled childishly, then we were told to shut up.
Not long after that the bell rung, and it was lunch time. Echoed shrieks,laughs and babble erupted in the corridors. The space was filled with a sea of uniforms, a sea of teal and black. Like a parade they all marched up and towards the sunlight, where just an hour of freedom was in their reach, just right in front of their eyes. Gemma, Cassie and I both agreed that it would be best to wait until the flurry had decreased, and then we made our way out and into the quadrangle. The quadrangle was the heart of the school, and when I looked around I saw many memories. The silver tables, where we sat to eat, right now the sun was bouncing off the surface and into our eyes. The huge tree, the office steps, the seats where all the 'cool' kids sat. Already children were starting to settle down for the hour, embracing friends and sharing stories. There was already a crowd forming in the canteen too. But not for food, I knew this for a fact. They were all clumping around one tiny table, all muttering and nodding in agreement. Above the table was a banner, a banner with print so large it leapt out at me.
'SIGN UP FOR CHRISTMAS QUEEN HERE.'
My stomach lurched as I tried to turn around and make a run for it, but Gemma was there, holding my arm with strength I didn't know she had.
"Oh no you don't," she snickered, pushing me back around to face it again. Nerves were on fire inside my veins, the tiniest butterflies rummaging in my blood. Making my knees weak, making my palms almost sweaty. The sign was the only thing I could see, boring and burning into my brain. Sign ups, sign ups.Oh god, sign ups.
Alyse was already walking forward, eagerness in her expression. Her light brown hair was quavering in the light breeze when she moved, and it caught my attention. The back of her head caught my attention. Because Gemma was already pulling me after it.
"No, no no no no no," I said, planting my feet in the ground like a spoilt two year old.
"Why are you being like this? You know you want to, and I know that you want to. Stop being a baby." She said, her words ringing with finality. I knew when that happened, there was no use trying to convince her otherwise, her decision was set in stone. Hard as a rock and a immobile as all hell. My shoulders slumped and I let her drag me with a satisfied, triumphant look.
We spotted had spotted a dark-brown head of hair amongst the many. I was as stiff as a board, refusing to move through the crowd enclosing around us. Jasmine's gaze met ours, and her face lit up.
"Hi!" She said loudly when she had made her way through everyone. Jasmine was at almost a head taller than me, but I couldn't even lift my head to look at her face, I was frozen.
"Hi," Gemma said, then spotted the piece of paper in her hands. "You're entering!"
Jasmine's grin seemed to get wider. "Sure am, with not much of a chance though." I knew she was picturing the girls just as I was, the girls that were running the thing.
"You'll be fine." She then turned to me, then back to Jasmine. "You'll both be fine."
"Oh, are you entering too Sydney?" She asked.
"No," I mumbled.
"Yes, she is," Gemma said.
Jasmine laughed, stepping around so she was on my other side, and took my arm. "I'll take it from here, Gem."
Gemma shrugged. "I guess, make sure she actually does it, please?"
"You can count on me."
When she left us there, I found my limbs again and snatched the paper from Jasmine's hands. "Jasmine King ." I read aloud.
She nodded proudly. "Yep, and extravigant friend, amazing coworker."
"You? A coworker?"
She shrugged. "Let's get you one."
"But it's opposite day!" I protested, a pout forming on my lips.
"No, it's not, I already checked."
A line was forming and we quickly jumped on the end. It was a slow line, way too slow to build up excitement. Not that I was excited anyway, I was scared.
"You look like you're with the Grim Reaper," Naomi snorted.
"If the Grim Reaper is brown haired and blue eyed, then yeah, I'm with the Grim Reaper" I sneered.
When we crept closer, I noticed the pictures stuck on the wall behind the table, all of previous Christmas Queens. Most of them, I noticed, were blonde. And all were impossibly beautiful, too beautiful for just school girls, more like pageant queens then Christmas Queens. More like shining lights then students.
This was why I didn't want to do it, I thought grimly.
All the girls who auditioned, who campagned, for Christmas Queen were walking angels. And how could I compare to that? To their shell-shocking beauty. Or was I just being modest again?
With another look at the photos, I shook my head. No not modest, not just me, but no one could compare to these girls. My hope, that was dwindling inside the nerves, flicked out as quick as turning out a light switch. Hope was gone, lost, off with the wind, run away with the spoon. Just gone.
"I said , excuse me! Ugh! Just get out of the way!"
Something turned to ice inside me. Nerves I was feeling flew away.
Because I knew that vice, everyone knew that voice.
Jasmine and I simultaneously turned, dread on both of our faces, because she was standing there, just standing, but that was enough to send people running. The Christmas Queen for two years running, as lovely as she was in the photos, was there.
"Oh god," i heard Jasmine whisper. "Save us all."
It was Heather Donovan.