(This chapter contains:)
Fictional, attempted Suicide
If you don't like that or it reminds you of something, please do not read this, it's for your own good and be sure to take care of yourself.
You are not worthless and you should be loved, even with your flaws. You're still human and should be treated equally.
~~~
"Can't sleep, can't eat, can't do anything, I'm just stuck. Day in, day out, I do the same things, nothing ever changes. I just want things to go back to the way they were. I wanna go back to when I was happy. When I had.. people in my life.."
Another day comes and goes, it still stays the same. It feels the same, nothing ever changes. Does anything get better anymore? If it does, then it was very subtle.
It has been quite a while since the incident happened. Migraines do happen occasionally here and there but I'm still here which was a miracle, even Schneep wasn't sure if I was gonna make it.
After it all, I was under custody by the other egos, mostly by Schneep and Jackieboyman. If I didn't answer for a long time they grew very concerned and stayed along with me for a long time to make sure I don't do anything regretful again. I got cleaner and tried not to drink as much as I did before.
After a couple of years, they were sure I was feeling better which, to be honest, was half true but something managed to snap me out of it.
- Being evicted, losing a child forever being more hurtful than just custody being taken from you.
Constantly these words that I told myself came back, they somehow got back inside my mind and it was hard to get them out in the first place.
"A deadbeat and disappointment of a father, helpless, not a good father in general."
I didn't want to be useless, I wanted to be a better father and be there for them, my family. What happened to us? Why did it have to happen?
~~
A feeling in Chase's chest and throat, a feeling of pressure of being overwhelmed by his own feelings. Only if we were able to stop the wrongs and make it right.
Here he was, inside his car, Chase being glued to the seat and tightly gripping onto the car wheel as he tried to suppress his going on feelings, regret, guilt, anger, and sadness. The ground of the car filled with trash, crumpled paper, and plastic wrappings. He truly was living in his own mess, just like Stacy said.
The other's gave him positive support about him growing and moving on more than how he started but he couldn't shake the thought of the words the woman he once loved said to him. He needed to move on but he couldn't, he wanted to have his kids back as well.
He didn't want to fall into the same hole back then, he didn't want to worry or bother anyone again. Their attempts aren't gonna help him, he was convinced of that and he knew a way out.
He failed once, he doesn't want to fail twice.
After a while where he tried to calm himself down, still failing at that, he was searching for his gun that he took with him before he was kicked out in case any funny business was around. As he checked it if it was loaded, he saw there were two bullets still in there, almost untouched. Another chance.
He took a picture and had putten his whiskey bottle in the other pants pocket he had while putting the gun into the other left one.
It wasn't too dark outside but it surely was high noon and there was enough light outside for him to see his surroundings. Chase made his way to the forest and observed the atmosphere around him, it was quiet and peaceful beside of the birds chirping and sounds of nature.
Large steps into the forest, he came across the familiar area around him, the rocks. That's when it happened. Seeing the stones stacked on there made his lips tremble a little, additionally, he had a picture of him which made it a little worse to keep his emotions inside of him.
Chase came closer to the rocks and came down to its level, laying his hand on it for a second and then sighing. He places the picture to them, as a burial sign.
"Do it." "It's your last chance," "Freedom is on its way." "You want one way out? Here's one."
"Come on," "Don't do it, please stop."
"You'll see one of your kids soon enough."
The words kept on echoing around his head and at first, he hesitated to even touch it in the first place but what could he lose at this point? The other's seemed busy anyway and he was low on phone battery. Where would he be able to charge it after the car ran out of gas? That's why he left the phone in the car.
Slowly but surely, he took the gun in his hand and placed his index finger carefully on the trigger of the gun, placing the gun to the side of his head and giving a shaky exhale as the memories flood back in. It slightly hurt to even put it near his skin, it didn't heal properly, it did heal for the most part but pressing the side with your thumb hard would make it hurt enough to make you yelp.
With all that, he gained the courage to slightly press some more on the trigger of the gun and close his eyes before saying his apparent last words.
"I'm sorry, for everything."
But then, nothing happened other than the sound of the trigger is pushed. It made Chase flinch by expecting something to happen but it didn't so why didn't it work?
He opened his eyes and was met with another person, holding two bullets in their hand, behind the rocks and that made him jump backward, backing up a little and stand up in the end.
"Woah, Woah there! When the hell were you here and what are you doing here?!" The man was astounded by the person and tried to hide the gun to show he wasn't there to hurt anyone. Normally anyone would've pointed it at someone when they were in danger.
"Calm down, Chase." A soft and calm voice came from the person, "I am here to protect you from yourself. Let me ask you, what are you doing here?" It sounded a little harsh at first but the question was still a question and the situation is already complicated as it is.
"How, how do you know my name? What do you mean to protect me?" Chase asked back, avoiding their question. "It's not any of your business." He said, a frown covering his face as it became serious. He didn't want anyone else to get involved in his private life.
"Chase Brody, once a husband and beloved father, I know your name because I'm your Guardian Angel. Whether or not you want to believe it, I didn't want you dead." That's when they show the bullets in their hands and shake it a little to bring Chase's attention to it.
They seemed human but there was something off about them. Their eyes had a golden-baked look on them with their hair having a lighter whitish color. It could have been dyed but no one ever has naturally that much of lighter eye color.
Guardian Angel. That is sure crazy to say out loud but it explains how he wasn't already down because he made sure and the bullets were still intact, they couldn't just fall out conveniently.
"This, this is so weird.. I.." That's when he broke into tears and started to babble incoherently quietly to himself and closed his eyes as he went into a position that made him scrunch up, with his hands covering his face. The person who has claimed to be his Guardian Angel moved to him and swooped him into their arms. Chase was confused but let it happen, he didn't move because what will that do?
"It'll be okay, Chase. Everything will get better, I assure you it will." They spoke in a reassuring tone and placed a hand on his back and rubbed his back, making the man sniff and let a hiccup come from him.
To prove the fact they were his guardian, big golden-feathers started to appear from the person's back and they were sure real. It was a shock to experience it first hand but at least he could trust this Angel of his, how should he explain that otherwise?
The hug was cut short a few minutes later by the person pulling away and trying to take a good look at Chase. Eyes that have taken up a red color from crying too hard, tired rings under his eyes and a slightly red nose, this sight made the angel move their wings slightly around him, already feeling protective over his fragile self at this moment.
"We have to start working on you and please, never do anything like that, again. Your friends dearly love and care for you and would be sad of the thought of losing you." The angel spoke softly and smiled at the man. Chase while still being confused put on a sad smile, the words still touched him a little but he had issues with accepting these words, thinking they weren't true.
"Let's get to work first. I'll get you an apartment and we'll fix your body up then you should rest for the rest of the day." They spoke, the question rose in Chase's head. How will an Angel get him an apartment? How will that work? What if it'll not work as well?
He knows he does have to get himself fixed up and he took a quick glare down to the ground, where the grave was before looking back to them.
"Alright... I can't really refuse at this point." Chase chuckled lightly yet sounded a little defeated but glad that he is able to get a proper bed. "I.. thank you.." He felt bad for not asking for their name but who thinks about that right away?
"Y/N, call me Y/N if you like." - "Thank you, Y/N.. thank you."
( Request by: LuminousDark96's idea of a Guardian Angel and Chase Brody has been fullfilled, I hope you like this and I am happy about the outcome! )