(trigger warning: suicide (not brett or eddy))
eddy woke early in the morning to find himself still in brett's arms. sunlight streamed in through the blinds and it almost felt as if they were in a home together, not a prison. the warden looked at brett's sleeping face and sighed deeply, focusing on his lips in particular. he wondered what they felt like.
stop, he told himself.
this was illegal. eddy knew that. if the two of them got caught together, he would be fired and possibly sent to jail. but, god, brett was irresistible. staring at him in the pale sunlight, eddy could not find a single detail about him he did not like. everything about his face was perfect and the warden wanted nothing else but to close the gap between their mouths forever.
having a crush on an inmate was a new thing for eddy and he had no idea how to navigate it. he'd been in complete and utter denial of his feelings for brett for the entire duration of the smaller boy's stay, but there was no way he could continue. he had it bad for brett yang.
the warden did not want to get up. brett's embrace was so gentle and warm and eddy feared that he may never get to feel it again if he left now. he decided to give himself at least five more minutes in the prisoner's arms, closing his eyes once more.
three hours later, eddy was awakened by a loud knock on his door. brett's arms fell onto his chest as the warden raised up suddenly, checking the time. he hadn't meant to fall back asleep.
"sir?" a voice came from outside the door. eddy scrambled to his feet and adjusted his suit jacket before replying.
"what?" he barked, pushing his hair out of his face and trying to get himself together. brett was still asleep.
"we've got a situation in c dorm bathroom, sir. they're calling for you."
eddy took one last
"i'll be there in a minute."
;
eddy locked brett in his office and began the walk to the dorms, praying it wasn't obvious that he was barely half awake. his nap in brett's arms had only made him feel more tired and disoriented than before. he ignored the sideways glances from the inmates as he walked past them and focused on his destination.
something felt wrong as soon as eddy walked into the dorm. all of the inmates looked troubled—even more so than usual. a strange quietness hung in the air. eddy tried to ignore it and made his way to the bathroom.
the strange feeling in the room made sense as soon as eddy stepped foot into the bathroom. an inmate laid on the floor in one of the stalls, an empty bag that eddy assumed had once held pills lying on his chest. pale skin, unmoving chest, glassy eyes—all signs of death eddy knew too well. but he hadn't seen a suicide since the man he'd told brett about. it hurt.
"what happened?" eddy breathed, clenching his fists to keep himself calm. the guards glanced around at each other before the one who'd retrieved eddy from his office answered.
"it appears that he overdosed, sir."
"i know that. but what i don't know is why there are pills circulating in my prison. did we not just discuss you all doing your jobs? do a drug sweep. every dorm. now. and call the fucking police. don't just leave him laying there. he's a god damn person."
as the guards scrambled to follow eddy's orders, he focused on walking back to his office without bursting into tears. his tough exterior was cracking and it felt like soon he'd deteriorate into nothing. not only was he constantly exhausted, he was just so sad. but showing weakness was not an option in that place, especially when you were in charge. the past few days had not been good for eddy's tough reputation and losing it in front of other employees was the last thing he wanted. but he was hurting.
the second his office door shut, relief washed over eddy's tired body and he plopped down in his chair. brett stirred at the sound of the door closing. he sat up and rubbed his eyes confusedly, noticing immediately that eddy seemed upset.
"what's the matter, sir?" he asked. the sound of his voice startled the taller man and he flinched hard, his hands shaking.
"uh.. nothing, brett. i'm fine," the warden shook his head. brett squinted at him.
"it's obvious you're not, eddy."
eddy looked up at the sound of his name escaping brett's lips. the way brett's lips formed the syllables made eddy want to kiss them even more than he already did. he clenched his teeth and turned away from brett to keep himself from breaking the law, typing away on his computer. he needed to make an accident report, anyways.
"talk to me," brett's voice was soft, concern outlining each one of his words. eddy shook his head.
"no," he said simply. the inmate took a deep breath and stood up, walking to behind eddy's desk. neither of them spoke as the older boy's arms snaked around eddy's shoulders and he hugged him gently from behind, closing his eyes and laying his head on the other man's shoulder.
"please."
exhaling shakily, eddy put his hands on brett's and intertwined their fingers. he tried to focus on the softness of brett's skin rather than the trouble he would get into if anyone walked in at that moment.
"now, what's wrong?" brett said softly. eddy sighed.
"there was a suicide," he mumbled. brett winced.
"i'm sorry," he replied, resisting the urge to kiss the tan skin on eddy's neck. it was nearly impossible not to. the muscles of his neck protruded slightly and just looking at them gave brett wildly inappropriate thoughts. he closed his eyes to distract himself and pressed his face to eddy's shoulder.
"brett?" said the warden. brett raised his head.
"yes?"
"what are we doing?"
an answer to that question was not something brett had. he shrugged.
"i dunno," he said quietly, laying his chin on eddy's shoulder and leaning his head against the other man's.
"i don't either," the warden sighed.
"i don't think we need to know. probably best not to put a label on this."
"yeah.. we're sort of playing with fire, im afraid," eddy chuckled nervously. brett took a deep breath and planted a soft kiss on his cheek.
"i like it. well, i like you, sir."
eddy's heart skipped a beat and he turned to face the inmate, surprise evident on his face. those were the last words he'd expected to come from brett's mouth.
"what?" he asked, even though he knew exactly what brett said. the inmate sighed deeply.
"i think you heard me, sir."
"i think you're right," eddy countered, turning around in his chair suddenly. brett recoiled back from their embrace and crossed his arms, staring at the man below him. eddy looked terrifyingly handsome as he sat still in his desk chair, staring up at brett with that signature gaze.
"and?" brett asked. the warden thought for a moment and grabbed brett's hands, stroking the back of them with either of his thumbs.
"i don't know what this is, brett."
"scary is what it is," the smaller boy scoffed. he stood in between eddy's legs, holding tightly onto his calloused hands.
"illegal," eddy mumbled. brett cringed at the sound of the word.
"i don't want to get you in trouble, sir," he shook his head. eddy rolled his eyes playfully.
"stop calling me that."
"no, sir."
the warden sighed deeply and twirled brett around before pulling him into his lap, his legs on either side of eddy's waist. brett gasped softly as he sat down, his heart pounding.
"this really has to stop, doesn't it?" eddy mumbled, twisting a piece of the smaller man's hair between his fingertips. brett nodded shakily. eddy was so close.
"i guess so," he mumbled, his skin tingling everywhere the warden's fingers landed.
"but i really don't want it to," eddy pulled brett into a hug and closed his eyes. they could feel their heartbeats against one another's chest and both of them were dumbfounded by the entire series of events that had led them there.
"me either, sir," brett muttered. eddy ran his long fingers down brett's spine and to his waist, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. he knew what he wanted, but he had no idea if brett felt the same or not.
"maybe it doesn't have to stop just yet," the warden whispered, leaning in so close that his breath fanned brett's cheek.
"maybe not," brett said breathlessly, licking his lips. he'd never been so terrified and enticed by someone at the same time.
brett watched eddy's eyelids flutter shut and could hardly focus as his did the same. it couldn't be said which of them leaned forward first, but the gap between their lips soon closed as if it had never existed.