Whatever Remus had been expecting, it wasn't what he went into. First of all, there were more adults there than he thought there would be, which made him extra nervous. The potions classroom had been overhauled completely, desks, chairs, everything had been spirited away, and it was now decorated in loads of green and gold. There were what looked to be Christmas tree baubles floating around near the ceiling, giving off twinkling lights, as well as smaller lights flickering about that Remus realized were faeries. There was tinkling Christmas playing from somewhere while house-elves scurried about carrying full platters or trays with drinks.
The six Gryffindors just sort of stood there for a minute until Slughorn came over, motioning for them to come in farther. "Mr. Potter! Miss Evans! Mr. Lupin! Excellent, excellent, so glad you could make it!" He didn't even say hello to the other three. "Help yourself to any of the snacks, and I've got a variety of drinks for my younger students; also, if you're looking for someone in specific..."
Slughorn put a meaty hand on James's shoulder, turning him so they could see a young, muscular man surrounded by a knot of female students, all of them hanging on his every word as he talked about Quidditch, boasting about some of the things he'd done. There were a few boys around as well, and James and Inkwood both joined the ranks, gaping up at the guy like he was a god. Sirius and Peter also ogled him with amazement.
Remus soon grew very bored of the sports talk so he and Lily backed away a little, planning on just talking to one another in a corner however they were interrupted by Snape making his appearance.
"Lily!" Snape's eyes glittered as he saw her. "You look... really nice..."
"Thank you, Severus," Lily replied, beaming. "You do too!"
Snape shuffled a little bit, ducking his head, brushing off his robes. They were fancy once, but were now rather old and faded and a little torn at the hem. The elbows were frayed, too. "Thanks," he muttered then glared at Remus, almost accusatory. "Least I had something else to wear besides the uniform."
Remus blushed while Lily took a step forward. "Please don't. You're both my fr--"
"HEY!" James and Sirius had finally torn their attention away from the Quidditch player to make their way over. "It's Snape! Wow, Snape, you look considerably less greasy! Finally get that shower, eh?" James said. Now Snape blushed, his sallow cheeks changing color.
"Don't be so rude!" Lily snapped.
"He can't help it, it's his nature," Snape sneered.
"Rather have a rude nature than a slimy one," James replied immediately.
"Come on Lily," Snape said, turning to go. "Let's chat where we've got breathing room; Potter's ego is taking up too much room here."
Lily hesitated then glanced at Remus who shrugged. He didn't care if she went off with Snape. She smiled, gave his arm a pat, then followed Snape to a corner of the room.
"What's he doing, calling her that?" James asked, watching them go.
"She went with him too," Sirius added.
"They sit together in Potions a lot," Peter reminded them.
"What's all that about, then?" James demanded.
"They're friends." Inkwood came over, a plate of snacks in one hand. "Didn't you know?"
James and Sirius stared at Inkwood then looked back over where Lily and Snape both looked happy to be in deep conversation with each other. "Ewww!" James finally breathed out. "Why?!"
"That makes no sense whatsoever," Sirius said, folding his arms. "A Slytherin would never be friends with a Muggleborn."
"Your cousin is," Remus couldn't help but say, very quietly so only Sirius could hear him.
"Th--that's different!" Sirius spluttered, very upset at the comparison between his beloved cousin and Snape. "Andy's neat. Snape's a git."
"Wait!" James grabbed Remus's arm rather roughly. "Did you know about this?"
"Yes," he replied coolly.
"You never told us!"
"It wasn't m-mine to tell." At that Inkwood suddenly looked sheepish, not even thinking about it possibly being a secret.
James and Sirius continued to glare until Peter tugged at James's sleeve, suggesting they get food. He managed to get them away from their brooding by taking them over to some house-elves. All four of them got some plates, and Sirius tried to snag an alcoholic beverage but the house-elf disappeared with a crack right when Sirius's fingers touched the glass, his hand remaining empty. Sirius grumbled and settled for the fruity punch another house-elf offered.
They huddled at the edge of the room, nibbling on food and watching everyone else interact. The others seemed to be fairly entertained however Remus felt awful. His stomach hurt, his head hurt, somehow--he wasn't quite sure how--but his skin hurt. It was loud, crowded, smelly, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to his dorm, especially with all the adults here, some of whom could easily be working for the Ministry against werewolves, able to recognize them.
A lot of the students were older, too, although there weren't many. Most the guests were graduated. There were a couple of students probably between the second and fourth years, then several that were fifth and up. They walked about as if they had been doing this for ages which, Remus realized, was likely; they probably had been terrified first years hanging out at the edges one time.
"I think I'm g-g-going to go back to the dorm now," Remus said, the discomfort finally getting to be too much.
"What? It's not even eight-twenty!" Sirius protested.
Remus raised his eyebrows. It hadn't even been twenty minutes? It'd felt like two hours already, at the least! "Well, all we're doing is standing here, and the only th-thing to do is... is..." He surveyed the room with disgust, not able to think of a good word.
"Hobnob?" James suggested causing Remus to snort.
"Wow, you really don't like parties, do you?" Peter asked.
Remus folded his arms, hunching his shoulders. "I don't like people," he muttered without even thinking, and his friends stared openly at him. He swallowed, trying his hardest to keep his voice from shaking. His insides were all over the place, his brain felt like it was being squashed. "You know I w-was never around p-people much g-g-growing up. Makes me... a bit edgy."
"Right, forgot about that," Sirius said, brushing his hair back from his eyes. "You wanna go, then?"
"I can go by myself, you d-don't need to go too."
Sirius shrugged, twisting the stem of a goblet round in his fingers, pretending like he didn't care when he obviously did. "I'm your invite."
Ah right. "We'll st-stay a while then."
Sirius did his best to hide the brightness that leaped into his eyes. "You positive?"
"Yes," Remus lied, forcing a smile. He pushed himself against the wall and stayed there while the others dove into the crowd to mingle some more. At some point Lily came over to see how he was doing, and she was having a terrific time, really enjoying herself. Apparently one of the guests was a famous herbologist who happened to be Muggleborn, so Lily really enjoyed chatting with her.
Time stretched on, the clock barely moving. He ate more snacks, drank more punch, and tried to avoid people (older guests who were curious about the newbies). His vision began getting a bit swimmy, his skin hurt even more. It felt like something scraping against him, like nails or like he was rubbing up against stone or something. He had scraping in his brain too which didn't make sense. The voices--all far too loud--mingled together, a cacophony of pain in his ears. He teetered on the edge of something, he just wasn't sure what. He doubted it would be good if he gave in. He thought he might scream or start throwing things.
Some elegant woman came up to him, saying something. It was distant, distorted. He just stared up at her. Her red lips twisted into a frown. She said something that might be 'are you all right' but he wasn't sure, it just felt like the words weren't words but weights coming out of her mouth to sit on his shoulders. He couldn't breathe. He was dimly aware that he was shaking quite hard. Red fingernails came towards him. They looked like blood.
Someone must have put a spell on him because suddenly the edges of his vision were going dark and it felt like he was being squeezed through a tiny tube. Sweat poured down, soaking into his clothes. The bloody fingernails touched him. It was all he could do not to shout in horror. The sound froze in his throat as he fought to keep it down. He wanted to apologize but knew if he opened his mouth the scream would come out. Or vomit. So he just pushed away from her, desperate to get away, desperate to get away from the scraping, the squeezing, the dizziness, the everything.
"Why! I never! Kids these days have no manners whatsoever, why I need to speak to Horace about this, he certainly doesn't want anyone so rude ruining the Slug Club's good name...!"
Remus staggered through the crowd, his vision getting worse. He banged into someone. They held onto him. He jerked, then relaxed. It was Peter. Saying something. His voice came from some great depths that lost its sense when they reached Remus's ears. "Loo," Remus managed to gasp out then took off. Once in the cold hallway he took in several gulps of air, shakily crashing into a wall, a tear dripping down his cheek as he clutched his stomach. He still felt hot, crawly, scraping, itchy, sick, dizzy, squeezed, and terrified but it wasn't quite as bad--
The music got louder as someone came out of the room, and Remus turned to see Lily. She wanted to know if he was leaving the party. He nodded, telling her the same thing he had said to the others: it made him edgy being around people. His fingers were twitching against the fabric of his sleeves. He knew if he could touch his skin he'd be scratching, digging in, trying to stop the scraping feeling. Probably tearing up his own flesh. As a human.
The worst part was part of him wanted to.
"I understand," she said. "Thanks for coming anyway. Sorry we didn't get to spend much time together... I was hoping it was the sort of party with dancing, honestly."
"D...ancing?" He didn't want to talk, he just wanted to escape.
"Yes. You know. Like, boys and girls dancing to the music? That's really why I wanted you to be there."
Remus gulped. "You... wanted... to d-dance with me?" That just strengthened all the horrible feelings, especially the scraping one.
Lily gave a slight shrug. "Severus would never annnd I didn't want to be a wallflower." A light blush rose in her cheeks. "But since it wasn't that sort of party, I guess I was worried for nothing. I'll see you on the train tomorrow? I'll give you this here, so I don't embarrass you in front of your friends." She took the few steps towards him, putting her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He did nearly scream then, the touch against his skin feeling worse than knives. He wanted to shove her away. It took all his ability to keep himself from doing so. "I know they tease you when I hug you cause they're idiots." She let go, stepping back. "See you tomorrow." She turned, disappearing back into the classroom while he fled to the dorms, going first to the toilets to throw up then under his bed to cry
He couldn't even be normal for one hour...
*
It was nearly two hours after Remus returned to his dorm when the others showed up. Spinnet and Struthers were asleep when James, Sirius, and Peter came in. They were in high spirits, very giddy, giggling, tripping over themselves to tell Remus (who remained hidden under his bed) about what all he missed (apparently Slughorn did question Sirius's right to be at the party however all of them kept saying things like 'Remus just popped off to the loo' and 'he was right over there a moment ago'). It didn't sound like he missed much but he listened to their stories until nearly midnight when finally even James was too tired to stay up, since he was having to wake up extra early to pack (Remus had already packed the bag he was taking home, none of his friends had).
He had nightmares that night. Thank MERLIN he didn't wake up screaming however he did wake up crying quietly at one point, soaked with sweat. His nightmares were the same: a crowded room, pressing in, so many people, then him transforming right there in front of everyone. Of course it always ended with him being slaughtered.
It came to no surprise to Remus once morning finally came, when all three of them slept in and had to rush around to throw things in their bags. Remus just sat cross-legged on his bed, watching in amusement (he still didn't feel too keen from the party but at least was able to act like he was fine which was the most important thing and at least soon he'd be home to be under his covers with nobody to force him to pretend to be human--which would be absolute bliss), until finally they had to go or risk not having any breakfast. The four dragged their bags down with them to the Great Hall just in time to stuff their faces with food. Sirius and Peter both pocketed some things for the trip, then they headed outside.
Remus wasn't sure how they were getting to the train station. He knew it wasn't via boats. Were they walking to Hogsmeade? He followed his friends down the main stairs, to the area where loads of students were milling about or else getting into carriages. He looked up at one of the carriages then his eyes traveled along to the front.
He screamed.
He screamed, dropped his bags, backing up so quickly that he tripped over his too-long cloak and slammed down onto the ground. There he began pushing himself back, panting heavily, eyes huge.
The creatures looked like someone decided to cross breed a horse with a dragon, without any meat or flesh on them. They were bony... with huge leathery wings and pure white eyes. The one Remus was staring tossed its head back and then twisted its neck to look at him. Remus began quaking.
"Remy? Whoa, what's up?" Sirius, James, and Peter were crowding around him, trying to help him up. He allowed himself to be lifted but didn't take his eyes off the skeleton thing.
James followed his stare. "What's wrong?"
Slowly Remus held up a shaky finger but none of his friends reacted. Had they seen these things before?! Nobody else was reacting either. Did the entire wizarding world know about these things besides Remus? Was it some sort of conspiracy his parents had?! Except... Lily was in the area too, laughing with Inkwood and Colgate, walking very close to one of them and she wasn't reacting. Did Muggle knows about them, then?
"Buddy, what's wrong?" James asked again.
"They... sc--scared me," Remus whispered.
"What? The carriages?" Sirius inquired.
Remus dropped his hand. "No! Those... things!"
"What things?" Peter asked, stuffing a muffin into his mouth, squinting in the general area of where Remus was pointing. "The Slytherins?"
"They'd scare me too!" James exclaimed, and the three of them laughed, Peter spraying crumbs everywhere.
Remus finally tore his gaze away to stare at his friends now. Did... they not... see them?! He stepped back again then ran over to Lily. "Lily, what--what's hooked up to the carriages?" he asked.
Lily jumped in surprise at how freaked out he sounded. "Nothing," she said. "Which is weird--"
"They're magicked to run in their own," Inkwood said. "My older sister told me."
Remus blinked then rubbed his eyes. Was he seeing things? He opened his eyes again but no they were there. He could smell them, too. The one nearest to him took a step towards him, the carriage rocking a little bit. The thing let out a cry that sounded like some sort of huge, nightmarish bird.
"Remus, what's wrong?" Lily asked gently when Remus cringed back.
He clamped his mouth shut and then shook his head. "N-n-n-nothing. Nothing. I'll s-s-see you on the train." He returned to James, Sirius, and Peter, his entire body shaking hard. Could... were... were they invisible? To humans? Was that why he could see them, because he was an animal? Can't react, can't say anything. His friends were concerned so he mumbled that he thought he saw something but it was just his imagination. Peter gave him a wary look at that which made Remus figure this would mean they'd think again he was a lunatic, however a lunatic was better than a monster. Or maybe he was going crazy. Maybe the scraping in his brain and blackness in his vision the night before made him snap.
Just then the Head Boy who was helping supervise everything came over, asking about the screams. He looked rather concerned. Remus quickly fobbed it off as a joke about Slytherins 'scaring' him. The seventh year Ravenclaw scowled and stormed off, grumbling to himself about Gryffindors.
Once in the carriage, Remus made himself as small as as he could in the back seat to be as far from the creature as possible. He could hear it snort and give its weird bird cry before clopping off. Remus clutched at his backpack, concentrating on breathing as steadily as possible. Maybe Dad will know what they are. Or I can ask McGonagall when I get back. He considered writing her over the holidays but thought it might be weird to do so, sending letters to your teacher... Of course, at the same time, if he really had gone crazy he didn't want anyone to know or suspect. He finally settled on keeping this completely to himself. Just in case.
At the station Hagrid was making sure everyone got on the train safely. James and Sirius both went over to wish him a happy Christmas before they climbed on board. The good thing with the holidays meant a few stayed behind, leaving more empty compartments. The four of them easily found one for themselves, settling in quickly. As soon as Remus sat by the window it was if his eyes moved on their own, looking out towards the carriages, to see the creatures again. Suddenly he jumped up and pulled his school satchel down. It was stuffed with all his text books (as well as homework) and he began going through until he found Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them.
"What the hell? You're doing schoolwork already?!" James demanded as Remus opened the book on his lap.
"No. I want to look something up specifically," he said, carefully flipping through the pages. He didn't recall reading anything about them but perhaps he just didn't remember. He was barely aware of the train starting or time passing. At one point his friends tried to get him to join a card game but he just kept carefully skimming through until finally he got to the last pages. With a disgusted sound, he snapped his book shut.
"Problem?" Sirius asked.
"It's nothing." He put the book away, and joined the game.
At one point Remus went to find Lily to tell her a proper goodbye and wish her a Happy Christmas. Other than that, he stayed in the compartment with the other boys. When the sweet trolley came around, James pulled out handfuls of coins to buy half the cart, putting a huge pile of candy on the seat between him and Sirius... making it very clear they were all to eat candy. Remus was hesitated but James threw a licorice wand at him and then he gave in, helping himself to some of the sweets.
Soon it grew dark outside. The closer to London they got the more Remus worried. He wasn't sure how he was going to get to his parents with his friends around... He stared blankly at the cards in his hand, easily picturing getting off the train and Sirius and James and Peter just crowding around him and introducing themselves as his friends. How was he going to do this?
He was very sick by the time the train slowed. Peter knelt on the seat, face pressed against the window. "I see my mum!" he yelped happily. "And my dad!"
James joined him. "Hey there's my parents! How about you two?"
"They're there," Sirius said. He was slumped down in his seat, picking at the knee of his trousers, a rather frighteningly dark look on his face.
Remus peered out the window. It was snowing lightly and there were loads of parents waiting around on the platform as well as students starting to get off making it more crowded. "I can't see them yet."
James grabbed his suitcase from the overhead. "Come on!"
Peter seemed super excited too, but Sirius definitely wasn't. Actually, Remus thought he looked a little ill too. He got his suitcase then paused in the door. "Um, it's probably better if my parents don't see me with you," he said, avoiding looking at them. "I--er, I'll see you guys on the train ride back. Have a good Christmas...!"
James gave him a hug which made Sirius go even whiter, but then he hugged him back. "Have a good Christmas, Sirius!" James said brightly.
Sirius gave a rather wane smile at the others. "Happy Christmas Remus, Peter."
They wished him a happy Christmas back and gave him some time to get off the train before following suit. Immediately Remus scanned the platform till he saw his friend slowly approaching a woman dressed in very expensive looking robes and furs. Her glossy black curls were piled high underneath a pointed hat set at an angle, with fur trim. Her face looked like she was watching a troll approach her instead of her own son. Sirius gave her a smile. She just sneered at him, twitching her robes back like she didn't even want them accidentally touching him. She snapped her fingers and a house-elf lurched forward to take Sirius's suitcase then disappeared. The woman reached out with a gloved hand, wrapping her fingers around Sirius's upper arm, digging into his flesh. She yanked him close, hissed something in his ear, and then she dragged him to the area where you could apparate and disapparate. They both disappeared with a loud crack.
Remus couldn't help but think this was probably one of the Blacks who had been demanding Fawley's sister's execution...
During this time, his friends' parents also came over and Peter was being smothered with hugs and kisses from a plump, lovely woman who had the same mousy colored hair as Peter. An older Indian woman was sweeping James into her arms while an older white man with slicked back grey hair and thick glasses beamed at them. Remus thought James had said his parents were there, but they must have been his grandparents.
"Remus...! REMUS!"
His mother tore from the crowd, throwing herself at her son. Since Peter was being overly loved, Remus wasn't quite as embarrassed as she held onto him. He could hardly breathe as she squeezed, her tears falling on him as she practically pulled him to the ground. "Remus, baby, oh my baby, look at you, you're okay! You're okay." She smoothed down his hair, stroked his cheek, and covered his face with kisses. "You're okay."
"Of c-c-course I am," he said, blushing as he was aware James was now watching. He had to get away. "Let's get home, before it snows harder." But his mother was hugging him again. "Mum, p--please!" he whispered urgently. James had taken his grandparents over to Peter where everyone was shaking hands. "We sh-should go. Please. I want to get home."
"Yes, of course," she said, straightening up, wiping her face off. "Let's go, darling." She took his hand, pulling him towards the entrance. Remus glanced over his shoulder at James watching him go with a frown. Remus gave a shrug as if to say, 'Guess she wants to leave, sorry!' and then plunged through the barrier with relief.