It actually blows me away the amount of love and time you all give me by reading my stories, I love it so much! It encourages me to keep on writing!
Enjoy x
*Jamie's POV*
My minds been too occupied all day. I can't stop thinking or worrying about Dakota. I know she text me earlier but it wasn't very convincing. I didn't sleep at all last night so I'm glad to be finished with filming for the day! As I park my car I check my phone. Nothing from her.
Maybe I did something wrong? i shake that thought from my head immediately. I unlock the door and then shut it behind me, kicking off my shoes and hanging my coat on the hooks by the door.
"Anybody home?" I call but I'm met with silence. "I guess not." I sigh, heading through to the kitchen. I stop in my tracks. Dakota is sat at the breakfast bar. Her chair turned so she's facing me at the doorway.
"Hi.." she smiles shyly, standing up. "Is this even real?" I whisper and she walks to me, wrapping herself around me. "Yes.. I'm actually here" she whispers and I pull her to me, latching her lips to mine. Fuck I've missed her so much.
"I was so worried about you" I speak in between kisses, her hands move to each side of my face, holding my head in place. "I know I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry" she pulls away and her voice is hoarse. I hold her close to me, inhaling her scent and closing my eyes.
She's got her head buried between my arm and chest, clutching my top at the back. "I've missed you so much" I say after a few minutes of silence, kissing her head. "I missed you too" she lifts her face and her beautiful, tear-filled eyes meet mine. I frown.
"Hey why're you crying?" I say and she looks down as I take her head in my hands, stroking the tears from her cheeks as they fall. "Because I missed you.. but I have to tell you something, and I'm scared you won't want me here" she cries and my heart sinks, thinking the worse.
My heads assuming she did something with someone else, though I abandon that thought straight away. She wouldn't. Maybe Chris tried something again. I tense and she gazes her teary eyes at me. "We need to sit down.." she takes my hand and leads me to the sofa in the sitting room. We sit on the edge so we're facing.
"I'm worried.. tell me what's going on" I say and she reaches Into her hoodie pocket, passing me a piece of paper. I turn it and notice it's a scan photo. I look to her and she's shaking like a leaf, her face red and eyes full of tears.
"You're pregnant?" I whisper, looking back to it. The scan date is from yesterday, I know she had an appointment. The white dot on the ultrasound is small... 9 weeks 2 days it says in the corner. Her head falls into her hands and she sobs. I pull her to me, stroking her back.
"I really didn't want to be like this.. you'll hate me." She cries and I continue to rub her back for comfort. "I could never!" I frown. "There's no heart..beat" she struggles out and my heart sinks.
She's miscarried? I pull her to me, into my lap. Holding her as close and tight as I can. Tears in my eyes, on my cheeks. Once her crying calms she curls into me into a ball. I rock her in my arms, trying to hold her closer though it's not possible.
"I've got you.. I'm right here" my voice is hoarse as I kiss her head repeatedly. "I'm so sorry" she whispers. "I promise you, you have nothing to be sorry for.. nothing at all" I whisper, kissing her head.
"I understand.. if you want me to go.. I let you down" she lifts her head and her eyes are so red and swollen. She looks tired, but utterly beautiful. "Don't.. don't you ever say that" I frown, my voice breaking. How can she blame herself?
"You could never ever let me down.. you amaze me" I place a tender kiss on her forehead and she closes her eyes. "I love you so so much." I whisper and she smiles a bit. "I love you" she looks to me, tears still falling from her eyes. I wipe them gently with my thumbs.
"You don't need to cry anymore.. I've got you baby" I say and she tucks herself into my side, curling up as small as she can as I gaze at the scan photo. My eyes become hazy with tears as I think about the fact we made another baby. A baby we'll never get to see.
My heart breaks and I quickly wipe my tears. She turns to me and frowns a bit. "You don't have to hold it in or hide it from me" she sits up, wiping my cheeks before kissing me gently on the lips. "It's weird.. I don't know how I should feel?" I say quietly and she nods.
"Me too.. part of you is confused and the other part heartbroken right?" She asks and I nod, looking away from her slightly as I hate showing her my emotions. "It's like.. we didn't know about them? But it's sad.. because we managed to make another baby" I say and she turns my head to her. "Don't hide it from me.. I haven't hid my emotions from you" she giggles a bit and I chuckle.
"Part of me was worried at first, because Charlotte is only nearly five months.. it would've been too soon" she says, taking my hand and knotting our fingers together. "But, when she told me there wasn't a heartbeat, I literally felt my heart sink.. I wished it to be a nightmare" she whispers and I stroke her cheek. "Did she know how far you was?" I whisper. "She said around eight weeks.."
"Did anybody go with you?" I say and she shakes her head. "I'm so sorry you had to find out on your own" I cry, the dam bursting, and she gasps, pulling me to her. "Don't apologise, it's okay.. it's okay" she repeats, crying too. We both hold each other close and comfort each other as we cry.. until we're all cried out.
"I'm glad that you're here.. I can look after you now" I say, kissing her gently. "I hate when you cry but your lips are so soft" I whisper against her lips and she smiles. "I've missed you.. I'm sorry I'm not here on good circumstances" she smiles sadly and I shake my head. "Main thing is you're here" I kiss her and we wipe each other's cheeks dry.
We hear the door unlock and Dakota stands from off my lap, standing up by me with her hand on my shoulder. I hear footsteps and before I know it I'm being jumped on by Dulcie. "Daddy!!! I missed you" she tightens her arms around my neck and I hold her close to me, kissing her head repeatedly.
"I missed you so much!" i tickle her sides and she giggles in my arms. "You didn't tell me you had Dulcie?" I grin at Dakota and she smiles shyly "surprise" she does a cute shrug and giggles a bit, giving Dulcie a high five. "My two cheeky girls" I kiss her head again and stand, kissing Dakota softly. I soon hear Charlotte's loud coo and my face must light up like Christmas.
"My baby!" I turn and she's sat on Sam's hip. I take her and lift her high above my head. "Daddy missed his baby girl" I say in my baby voice and she squeals, reaching down to me as she giggles. I rest her on my chest and she clutches my top, cooing loudly to me.
"I hope you've been a good girl for your mommy" I kiss her head and she grins, looking to Dakota. "Look! She's looking at me as if to say 'look who's here mommy!' " Dakota giggles a bit, kissing her head before she sits back down. I watch her slightly, She's being so brave right now.. we both are. I'm so proud of her.
I sit next to her and Dulcie climbs into my knee. "Are you both okay?" Sam frowns as she sits on the others sofa. She must be able to tell by our eyes we've been crying. "Fine" Dakota smiles sadly taking my hand and squeezing it gently. "We'll be fine" I nod, kissing her cheek.
"If you say so.." she smiles a bit at us both. "I'm hungry" Dulcie whines from my knee, getting down and wandering to Sam "well grandpa is sorting your chips as we speak missy" she sits Dulcie on her knee.
My dad and Sam picked up chips from a local fish and chip bar for dinner. Once it's dished out we go through to the dining area and sit at the table. Dulcie sits facing me, Dakota next to me, Sam and my dad sit the opposite ends of the table. Charlotte is sleeping in her travel bassinet upstairs and we have the baby monitor with us here.
We eat with animated talk. Dulcie tells us about seeing my sister again and she mentions how much they love Charlotte already, I smile slightly and listen whilst I eat. I hold Dakota's hand with one of mine. We both have battered fish and chips, but she's not eating. She's just playing with her food on the plate.
"Not eating?" I look to her, not really wanting to cause a scene in front of everyone at the dinner table. "I'm not hungry.. sorry" she looks to me before glancing at everyone at the table. "Kota what's wrong?" Dulcie frowns, her face concerned.
"I'm okay sweetheart, promise.. I just feel a little bit poorly." She says to her and Dulcie pouts. "You need lots of cuddles" she giggles making everyone chuckle. "I think I do".
"How about you go for a lie down, I'll bring you up a warm drink and we'll see if this will save for later" Sam says softly to Dakota, her hand on her arm gently before she takes Dakota's plate and her empty plate.
"Thank you.. I'm sorry" she whispers, taking one last look at us before getting up, making her way upstairs. I let out a long sigh, at a loss of what to do. I've never been in this situation before. I rub my head with my hands.
"Dulcie how about you go find a nice film for us to watch?" Sam smiles at her, taking Dulcie's empty plate from her. I pass her my half empty plate and she smiles sadly. "Okay!" Dulcie grins, running off into the sitting room and looking through the DVDs.
"What's going on son?" My dad sighs and I sigh too. "Don't tell her I mentioned it.." I start and they both nod a bit, Sam takes a seat beside me. "She's losing the baby.." I whisper, looking down to my hands on the table. "Oh Jamie.." my dad rests his hand on my back.
"She's pregnant?" Sam gasps a bit, rubbing my arm. "We didn't know.. when she had her appointment yesterday she found out.. there's no heartbeat." I sigh, rubbing my eye to stop myself crying again. "I don't know how to help her" I carry on, my voice hoarse with unshed tears.
Sam hugs me and my dad rubs my back gently. "Be there for her, that's all you can do" Sam kisses my head. "She's blaming herself, that's killing me. It's not her fault." I wipe my eyes. "Let me talk to her?" Sam asks and I smile slightly "would you?" I ask and she nods, wiping away my tears on my cheeks before getting up. "You wash up, I'll be back down soon" she smirks to me and I chuckle a bit, shaking my head.
I do the dishes and then head to the sitting room to Dulcie. "Daddy.. why are you and kota so sad?" Her bottom lip trembles as she climbs onto my lap. "Dakota isn't very well baby, that's all.." I whisper, holding her close to me. "Does she want cuddles?" Dulcie frowns and I nod. "I'm sure she'd love them baby" I kiss her head.
---
Dakota and Sam come back down, she eats a little bit of her dinner which I'm glad about, then she curls into me. Dulcie sits herself on Dakota's lap and they cuddle, I wrap my arm around Dakota so I can hold her too.
We watch a film that Dulcie picked and after it's done we decide to head to bed. Dulcie is already asleep so I lay her in her bed, covering her up and kissing her head. Once I know she's settled I head to my room, Dakota is just resting Charlotte in the bassinet.
"Okay baby?" I whisper, stripping to my boxers and getting into bed as she does. She nods a bit and curls into me, her head on my shoulder. "Thank you for getting Sam to speak with me.." she whispers and I kiss her head tenderly. "Did it help?" I ask and she nods a bit.
"I'm sorry I didn't eat.." she says and I shake my head. "You don't have to be, Sam understands.. we all do. You're the bravest person I know.. I'm so so proud of you" I say, kissing her head tenderly again. "You keep me strong" she smiles sadly up at me, kissing my lips gently.
"You know, I really hoped our reunion night would've been more special than this" she giggles a bit and my heart warms. "Oh yeah?" I smirk and she giggles again, nodding. "Me too baby.." I kiss her gently again and again.
She closes her eyes and within minutes she's asleep, I hold her in my arms, watching her. She's been through so much, I'm in awe of her. I kiss her head and she snuggles in closer to me.
Comments appreciated as always ♥️