ELLIE GROANED IN frustration as she attempted to shoot down the target ahead of her, only or her hands to tremble when she attempted to set her sights on the target. She threw the empty gun on the ground in frustration, and dropped down onto her knees, letting out a gentle scream as she had missed the majority of her marks on the target. She knew that Daryl had been watching her from afar, but she hadn't been in the mood to discuss her failure.
She gripped onto the gun once again, and stormed off in Shane's direction, where he had been sitting with a large map in his hands. Shane had joined Ellie and Daryl in seclusion by moving his own tent further up the farmland, only he was sure to keep his tent far from Daryl's, not wanting to know what he got up to at night. She threw the gun down on the table next to him, earning a small sigh and widened eyes from Shane. She clenched her jaw and raised her eyebrows, waiting for a response.
"Did the gun do something to offend you, Ellie?" Shane asked sarcastically as he raised his eyebrows, only dropping the map down slightly to get a small look at her.
She huffed in frustration, and furrowed her brows, "I didn't hit the target once," she gritted, folding her arms over her chest. She clenched her hands into fists at her sides, "I can't do this."
Shane let out a chuckle, and placed the map onto the table next to him, and stood to his feet, standing over Ellie with authority, "Why don't you have a go at some self defence rather than the weapons?"
"Not now," Ellie muttered, dropping her head down in shame as she spotted her daughter walking towards her in the distance, alongside Daryl. She dropped down to her knees, and welcomed her daughter into an embrace, "Did you learn anything new today?"
"Lori told me that Luke used to help people," Coda squealed, and grinned up at her father for approval. He shot her a small nod, and smiled as she continued, "He was police, and he put away bad guys. Like Rick and Shane!"
Ellie laughed at Coda's eagerness, and pinched her cheek gently, "That's right. He helped keep the bad guys away from the good guys."
"So, like a superhero," she added, folding her arms over her chest, imitating her mother as she had witnessed her do on several occasions, "because that's what superheroes do."
"I suppose it is," Ellie laughed once again, catching Daryl's eyes as the two laughed together.
Coda then suddenly pouted, and dropped herself onto the ground, burying her face in her knees as she let out a loud sob. As it had been so sudden, Ellie gasped, and reached out to Coda immediately, in attempt to get her to stand back up. Daryl kneeled down as quickly as he could, and gently reached for Coda, and began smoothing small circles on her back, which had began to calm her down immediately. Shane joined the two with the small child, and kneeled down, holding out his finger to lift her head from her knees gently, and flashed her a small smile.
"What's a princess like you doin' with her face buried like that?" Shane asked rhetorically, earning a smile through small sniffles from Coda, "What's on your mind, kid?"
Coda finally quietened her sobs, and whimpered, "Daddy doesn't talk about his mom and dad. I like knowing..."
Ellie and Daryl immediately made uncomfortable eye contact, with the two frozen in place with uncertainty. They both knew the topic of Daryl's family had been entirely difficult to talk about amongst themselves, let alone their infant daughter, who truly didn't understand much. She had been precocious for her age, but it didn't carry her that far in regards to processing advanced information.
Daryl cleared his throat, and gestured towards Shane awkwardly, who nodded, and understood the small family needed their space. Daryl then fully sat on the ground, and sat Coda down on his knee, before admitting, "My family is complicated," to which Coda tilted her head, not fully understanding, "they aren't good people."
"Are you a good people?"
Ellie and Daryl both chuckled at her question, and Ellie ran her hand through Coda's blonde locks, before whispering, "Of course he is. But your dad has been through some tough things."
"Like us?" Coda questioned, slowly crawling up towards Daryl to pull him into a tight embrace. She curled around him perfectly, and he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with adoration as she did so.
"My dad wasn't a nice guy," Daryl added, clenching his jaw as he suddenly became overwhelmingly uncomfortable with the discussion, "and my brother was... difficult."
"What is his name?" Coda asked, tilting her head to the side innocently as she listened intently as her father spoke.
Daryl clenched his jaw tight as he struggled to utter his brother's name, as he felt a lump from deep in his throat. He cleared his throat, and sighed, "He's your uncle Merle."
Coda widened her eyes, almost as though she had discovered the rarest of treasures, and held her hand over her mouth in disbelief, "I have two uncles? And
an auntie? I'm so lucky..."
Ellie felt a deep stab to her heart as she realised that both of Coda's uncles had been missing, without anyone knowing their locations. Ellie froze for several moments, stumbling over her words in her head as she attempted to devise a sufficient explanation to her child — only she couldn't. There couldn't have been a sufficient explanation for her, when they didn't understand it themselves.
"Yes," Ellie nodded, and took her daughter's small hand in her own, and pulled her close, "and when we we're all together again, you can meet Merle."
Coda squealed in excitement, and held up her doll to her father, and grinned, "Dolly is excited." Ellie observed as Daryl began to play with Ellie, talking through the doll to her, and it warmed Ellie to her core. All she wanted to do was be at peace with her family, and for order to restore.
"How are you holding up about Merle?" Ellie finally asked as the two stood to their feet, once they were sure Coda had been engrossed in her playing with her dolls, "I guess we haven't really talked about it."
Daryl shrugged as he stared down at Coda, his eyes adoringly longing over her as she babbled to herself, "I miss him, man. I can't explain it."
"I'm sorry, Dixon," Ellie whispered as she placed her hand on his shoulder in reassurance, and he slowly placed his hands on her hips, and rested them there, "Merle didn't deserve—"
"We both know he did, Ellie."
A silence of grief fell over the two as they stood together in seclusion, the group seemed so far away from where Daryl had set up their camp after the barn incident. In the silence, Daryl pulled out an old carton of Marlboro cigarettes, and lit it up, inhaling deeply as he did so. Ellie observed for several moments in silence, until Daryl raised in eyebrow in suspicion.
"What, woman?" he asked, ashing the cigarette onto the ground.
Ellie scoffed, and grabbed the cigarette from his mouth roughly. She took one quick drag from the cigarette, and suddenly dropped it onto the ground, and stood on it, putting out the embers that burned. Daryl stood with his face scrunched into a scowl, while Ellie smiled continuously at him, not uttering a word.
"You want to explain why you did that?" Daryl asked, folding his arms over his chest as he watched the woman as she continued to smile.
Ellie finally gestured down towards Coda, and smiled once again at Daryl, "You can't do that in front of her. Anywhere else, but not in front of her."
"Oh, really?" Daryl mumbled sarcastically as he rolled his eyes, before pulling out another cigarette, and dangled it loosely from his lips, "Because it looks a lot like we're outside, which means I can do whatever I want."
Before Ellie could reply to Daryl's banter, the two spotted Dale trekking over quickly, his face had paled over, with the utmost of concern etched on his face. Daryl groaned aloud, and angrily sat down on his chair, ignoring Dale's presence as he lit up the cigarette for real, and took a long drag.
"The whole point of us comin' up here was to get away from you people," Daryl groaned, his irritation had been evident from the way he barely looked Dale when they exchanged conversation, "Did Carol send you?"
"Carol's not the only one concerned about you," Dale stated after sighing, whilst gesturing down towards the farmhouse, which had been filled with the other group members.
"Sorry," Ellie interrupted, and folded her arms over her chest protectively, "but does Carol have a reason to be worried about him? Do any of you?"
"Well—"
Daryl clenched his jaw, and dropped his head down in shame, before biting his lip to stifle the cry that dared to escape his throat. He then whispered, "Don't."
Dale stared down at the man with sympathy deep in his eyes, until he finally looked up at Ellie, and sighed, "You might want to check that motorcycle. It's surprising how much Merle left behind."
Ellie's eyes widened as she glanced down at Daryl, feeling every rapid heart beat against her chest. Her heart quickened as she realised what Dale had been implying, and she immediately shook her head in denial, dismissing any possibility that Daryl would have been that reckless in her absence. Could have really abused the drugs? Just like before? It wasn't even a possibility in Ellie's mind, up until that very moment Dale's integrity had greeted her.
"I told you not to," Daryl snapped at Dale, his head still remaining low from the shame and the guilt he had been feeling.
Dale shook his head at his comment, understanding Daryl's shame in regards to what happened, but he knew that if there was any hope at keeping the group alive, there had to be honesty and loyalty. He turned to face Ellie, and placed his arm on her hand in reassurance, "You were struggling for a long time, which meant we all struggled. We all struggle in our own way."
"I-I—" Ellie stuttered, her head tilted slightly as she glanced down at Daryl, who had buried his face in his hands sheepishly.
Dale leaned down towards Coda, and carefully picked her up into his arms, and spoke gently to her. He then nodded towards Ellie, and gestured towards the farmhouse, "We'll leave you to it. Check the motorcycle, Ellie," he then turned back slowly, and sighed, "Live or die, you don't care about the kid's life?"
"The only kid I care about is my own," Daryl snapped, not once lifting his head to make any sincere eye contact with anybody.
Ellie let out a sigh, and turned to face Dale with the sweetest, sugary smile she could muster, and admitted, "I don't think he should die, I don't think anybody should die but he was an accessory to rape, Dale. I can't have it on my conscience to keep him around here."
Dale nodded at her response, somewhat satisfied with her humanity, although he was heavily disgusted with Daryl's attitude. He cuddled Coda closer to him, and waved goodbye to Ellie, which Coda immediately copied, "When you're done, join us down at the farmhouse. You're important here, Ellie."
As Dale left the two, the earth stood still as Ellie stared unnervingly down at the wretched motorcycle, with Daryl remaining with his face buried deep in his hands. Ellie hadn't wanted to believe that Daryl would lie to her, she knew that he was better than that — but why were Dale's words so hauntingly true? She sunk down onto her knees near Daryl, and involuntarily formed her hands into tight fists; her knuckles became glazed over with whiteness, like a thick layer of snow.
"Tell me the truth," Ellie simply stated, her voice was completely void of any emotion as she attempted to process the information she'd received from Dale. She couldn't accept it. "Tell me the damn truth."
Daryl remained silent. His silence was hauntingly evident of his betrayal, and that's all Ellie needed to conclude that he had betrayed her. She let out a soft whisper, and quickly stood to her feet, and darted down towards the motorcycle. Daryl immediately ran after her, hot on her heels like he was her shadow, and called out to her repeatedly in effort to stop her. She ignored his calls, and finally reached the motorcycle, and began to rigorously search through the metal contraption, until she finally reluctantly pulled out a small plastic bag, containing blue crystals — Blue Sky. The Dixon brothers favourite strain of crystal meth.
Ellie shakily held it in her palm, and gestured it out to Daryl as hot tears quickly formed in her sapphire eyes. She hesitated, before she threw the bag square in Daryl's shocked face, and screamed, "How dare you?
"Ellie—"
"I was the one grieving! You had a duty to look after our daughter, but instead you were methed up?" Ellie hissed, rubbing at her temples as she attempted to regain composure, only to fail.
"It wasn't like that," Daryl argued, picking the small bag of crystals up from the ground, and stuffed it in his pocket, to which Ellie scoffed.
She froze for several moments, her heartache glueing her to the ground as she struggled to devise a sufficient explanation for his betrayal. She couldn't. There wasn't one. She stared over at Daryl, her once happy eyes drifting across from his face, and down to the motorcycle once again. With vigour, Ellie suddenly lifted her leg into the air, and kicked the large motorcycle with her foot, letting out a scream as she did so. The motorcycle bounced, but it hadn't been a powerful enough blow to knock it over, which Daryl had been pleased about.
"It was because of Merle," Daryl muttered, his voice barely audible as he fought back the tears that dared fall from his ocean eyes, "Without him, all I have is you. And with you gone, I have nothin'."
"You have Coda!" Ellie screamed, and launched herself forward in attempt to shove Daryl in his chest, but he merely caught her in his arms, "You put her first, not yourself!"
Daryl nodded, and clenched his jaw as Ellie's words sunk into his darkened heart. He knew that she was right — he failed as a father, something he vowed to never do. He nodded once again, and whispered, "It was only once."
As an unnerving silence settled over the two once again, Ellie brought her eyes up to the darkening sky; the clouds danced happily amongst the river of red that began to settle around it as the sun sunk further down. She wished upon every star and every cloud for her brother and sister to return; without them, a small cog in her machine had been missing, and she had been running on standby for too long. She wished with every fibre in her body to be reunited with her siblings, in hopes that the fire that once raged deeply in her soul would be reignited.
Disrupting them from their domestic, an earth shattering scream echoed throughout the farmland, leaving a layer of uncertainty to settle over their skin. The two immediately turned in the direction the scream had come from, and jumped in fear as the scream rung out once again, identifying the scream — Dale. Ellie immediately launched forward, with Daryl hot on her heels as they speedily approached the man, who had been toppled over on the ground, a walker on top of him.
Although her hands trembled, Ellie managed to grip onto her knife with enough vigour to slice it through the walker's head, and finally kicked the body out of the way. She shakily dropped to her knees, and couldn't keep her eyes off the guts that had protruded through his stomach after the walker had so grotesquely tore from inside him.
"Hang in there, buddy!" Daryl yelled to Dale in reassurance, and then signalled to other members as they, too, had heard the scream and had made their way down to him.
Ellie stumbled forwards, and shakily tore the sleeves of her shirt, and had attempted to dab at the fatal wound that Dale had suffered; she wasn't allowing herself to abandon the belief that he would be fine. Although her words failed her, she still continued to apply pressure to the wound, despite Dale's groans as she did so.
"Y-y-you'll—" Ellie stuttered, her eyes wide as she had spotted the internal organs begin to seep from inside him, and out onto the grass beside him, "...be-be okay." The shock had finally overwhelmed Ellie, and involuntary tears began to stream down her face as she continued to apply pressure to the wound. Through gulps and struggled breath, Ellie finally managed to whisper, "We will fix you," to Dale, as Rick and a few other members speedily arrived at the scene.
From beside her, Ellie could feel Andrea dropped to her knees in disbelief as she watched Dale's hurt eyes meet hers, silently begging her not to worry. Dale knew he had met his end, and he knew that Andrea would have to find a way to go on without him — she had to.
"Save him!" Ellie screamed out as the Greene's arrived at the scene, with Beth carrying Coda in her arms. Ellie dove forward, and gestured for Beth to leave, "Beth, she can't be here!" Beth nervously agreed with several nods, and left the scene in a hurry, with Coda sobbing loudly in her arms.
Ellie swiftly turned on her heels and gripped onto Hershel's arm, flashing her pleading eyes at him, "You once told me that I needed some hope and faith that I would find my brother again," his teary eyes met hers, and she squeezed his arm softly, "I'm hopeful now, because of you. You can fix this, Hershel."
Time was of the essence, and Hershel knew that time was against them in that moment. There was truly no way that Hershel would be able to operate on Dale in time; the entirety of his equipment had been in the sterilised room in the farmhouse, and Dale was in need of urgent medical attention. He knew he wouldn't survive the trip. They were all in awe, a thick denial washing over them as they were determined to rescue Dale from his death. He was their beacon of hope; the catalyst for all good in their barely breathing group, and without him, they didn't know how to go on.
"Hershel, please!" Ellie screamed, her voice becoming hoarse as she pleaded with the man from where she was stood, her hands rubbing at her aching temples.
She wasn't even sure why she had been screaming to begin with. Dale's fate appeared perfectly sealed by the Fates themselves. Why couldn't she stop screaming? Just needing people to stop dying was enough for her lungs to keep going. Every breath Dale took on the ground served as a reminder he could live, right? He had to. Ellie couldn't bare the concept of losing Dale Horvath of all people. Not Dale.
"Can we move him?" Rick finally asked, his voice wavering as he attempted to hold back the tears that were forming in his electric eyes.
Hershel hesitated, unsure of how to break the news to the group without shattering their hearts. He finally mustered up the courage, and gently stated, "He won't survive the trip."
"We have to do the operation here, Glenn get back to the house!" Rick ordered, only to be stopped by Hershel, who shook his head with the utmost of sincerity. Rick's determined demeanour fell, and out came Rick the defeated, whose face scrunched up as tears formed in his eyes.
Rick let out a scream of complete defeat, his heart aching as the world around them has bested them yet again, taking another life from them long before their time was due. The loud sobs surrounding them echoed through Rick's tormented mind, and all he could feel was the burden of guilt — he didn't do enough.
From beside him, Shane spotted Ellie trembling like a leaf in the wind, and immediately engulfed her into the tightest embrace he was capable of, cupping her head in his hands. He felt her tremble his hands, and whispered soothing words to the woman, in effort to ease her shock, although it was evident that the shock had left a mark on each of the members of the group.
"Dale is too good for a world like this," Shane whispered, stroking Ellie's hair reassuringly as she sobbed into his chest. "You always said the good ones go first. He'll be with his wife now. He doesn't deserve to be here."
Ellie clocked how Shane's last words had meant something to him given the hoarseness that built up in his voice as he uttered the words. She didn't know whether to question him, or to remain silent. But what she did know, was that Shane had been battling inner demons for the entirety of their stay at the farm, and she was going to help him — even if it was the last thing she did.
Rick glanced over at an inconsolable Andrea, who slowly turned to face Rick, hot tears streaming down her face continuously. She shot the man a quick nod, to which he clenched his eyes, a sudden hesitation washing over him. He connected his electric eyes with the dying man's, and felt the readiness he radiated deep from within him. Through his immense pain, Dale flashed his eyes at Rick — he was truly ready to leave the cruelty of the world behind.
Rick's hand trembled as he held his python up, and aimed directly at Dale's head, which in turn caused Dale's whimpers to quieten as he prepared himself. Rick held the gun in place for several seconds of silence, but he eventually scrunched his face up, letting out a small cry as he lowered the gun from Dale's head, a gust of guilt washing over him. He felt responsible for Dale's accident, he couldn't be responsible for his death.
Ellie observed as Daryl took the gun from Rick's trembling hand, and placed a reassuring hand on his arm, to show him he wasn't alone in his grief. He then spun on his heels slowly, and reluctantly aimed the gun down at Dale's head once again. Daryl felt an overwhelming guilt begin to creep deep within him, and fully allowed the guilt to surface.
He scrunched his own face up, and let out a shaky breath, before whispering, "I'm sorry for earlier, old man," he blinked a few times, and let out another shaky breath, "You were right—you were right about everything." Daryl's mind entered a vivid memory of a discussion Dale had approached to Daryl while Ellie had been grieving, where he had discussed his true feelings for Ellie. Daryl had been in denial at that point, but Dale always knew how to ground him, "You have been right about everythin'."
"The reason we got this far was because of you, Dale," Ellie whispered, moving the damp hair out of her face as she made eye contact with the dying man for the final time. She stepped aside once the silence fell over the group once again, and buried her face deep in Shane's chest.
Daryl hesitantly ensured the safety of the gun had been off, and trailed his finger down towards the trigger, absorbing every second he had left with the man. He clenched his jaw, to withhold the cry that dared escape his throat, and finally found the courage in him to whisper, "Sorry, brother," before releasing the bullet from the gun.
The gunshot was the only thing to be heard.
Over Andrea and Lori's loud sobs, Rick called out to everybody, standing up tall, despite the tears in his electric eyes, "Dale was everything right with this world. We will honour him in every way that we can. We hold a service for him."
It all came down to one final moment — the moment of hesitation, or the moment of determination. Rick had allowed himself to succumb to the hesitation, for he knew that life is sacrosanct. The world had been meddled with too much by encounters of all evil; all good that turned evil; all good that hid the evil. Evil lurked in every dusty corner; in every city; wherever anybody were to go, evil would be waiting. Rick knew that evil had been far closer to home than he had earlier anticipated, and his hesitancy was going to haunt him until that evil had been disposed of.
Without a word, Ellie peeled herself from Shane's grip, and emotionlessly strolled down to the farmhouse, where Beth had taken Coda to shield her from the chaos. Once she had approached Beth, she took a sobbing Coda into her arms, and pulled her as close to her heart as she could, for she knew that's where she'd be safe. She felt her daughter's tears trail down her neck as she'd buried her face deep in her neck, but made no comment.
She paced towards the small campsite that Daryl had moved far out from the others, and immediately entered the tent, without uttering any words to anybody else. They were fearful that Ellie would be unable to cope with the loss of another - that she would close herself off from everybody like she had previously done, but she knew better than to waste time with that. She knew that something had to change in order to preserve Dale's memory.
"Ellie," she heard Daryl's quiet voice call out as he entered the tent, crawling inside with worry etched on his face, "you scared us."
"I just wanted to be alone with my daughter," Ellie whispered as she felt Coda's sobs transform into soft snores on her chest, indicating she had fallen asleep after crying. She then sunk onto her back, and stared directly up at the ceiling, stroking small circles on Coda's back, "She was traumatised after Beth brought her over."
"That damn kid," Daryl hissed, before crawling over to Ellie and sinking his body next to hers. His eyes trailed over the ceiling, and he, too, felt as though he wanted the world to shut off. "Ya doin' okay?"
Ellie simply shrugged, unsure of how to define her current emotion. She then turned to Daryl, and connected their eyes, "We need to get off this farm, Daryl."
"And leave everyone behind?" Daryl weakly questioned, stunned by her desire to abandon the entire group.
Ellie let out a sigh, and clenched her eyes shut, avoiding his harsh stare. She then whispered, "If they won't join us, then maybe."
Daryl froze, and felt his entire body succumb to stiffness as Ellie's words replayed in his mind. She was truly prepared to abandon their family to escape the farm, without even a moment's hesitation. It was a dangerous bet, and Daryl wasn't sure if he was prepared to make it.
"That ain't the way," Daryl responded, holding his hand up to cup Ellie's warm face in his hand. He wiped away the tears that remained on her cheeks, and sighed, "We have to fix this group, like Dale wanted."
"My little sister is alone in this world, somewhere," Ellie stated through gritted teeth, and kept her eyes shut, to avoid Daryl's glare, "My brother is still out there, and so is yours. We could leave and really look for them."
Daryl sighed, and slowly lifted Ellie's hand up to his warm lips, and planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand, "We will one day, but not yet. We can't leave without the rest of us."
In defeat, Ellie slowly opened her sapphire eyes, and connected them with Daryl's, the two signalling to one another that they were truly lost. Neither of them knew what do from that point — they were supposed to be parents to Coda; to know the right decision each time. But they didn't. They didn't know how to go on from there.
"Were you happy before this shit happened?" Ellie finally asked, her voice barely audible as she asked the question she had been dreading to ask since their reunion.
Daryl remained silent for several moments, his own memories of his life tormenting him in his mind, and finally whispered, "No."
"I wasn't either," Ellie admitted, trailing her index finger gently over Daryl's small freckles on his face. She was suddenly brought back to the moment that she realised the world had succumbed to the chaos - how she had dreaded waking up that day from lack of stimulation in her life. "I was miserable. I was always miserable without you."
"You were miserable with me," Daryl scoffed, and then clenched his jaw to hold in the deep whimper that dared escape his lips, "Admit it, Eleanor."
Ellie scoffed at Daryl's absurdity, and gently slapped his cheek playfully, "My life was always better with you in it."
Daryl's entire world paused around him, and he suddenly became filled with delirium. Ellie's love had a hold over Daryl like no other — his heart burned with a desire he was unaccustomed to; a desire he had longed for the entirety of his lifetime. She had filled the half empty cup that he carried with him, and she was everything that was right with the world. She was his saviour, and she was his reason for breathing.
Ellie hadn't wanted to admit it to herself, but everything she had missing over the years; everything she felt unattached to in life had been Daryl all along.