(Stress is standing in Sally's empty chicken coop, which is covered in signs. She's worried and looking around for Iskall)
(Iskall enters)
Stress: Iskall!!!
Iskall: Yes, Stress? You sounded really urgent when you called me over-
Stress: Because something bad has happened in regards to Sally! Look!!
Iskall: (reading signs) 'Never touch my bush again! From, Doc.' (reading other sign) 'Return the diamonds immediately and we'll return Sally. We're hungry for some (trying to hold in laugh) Kentucky Fried Sally!!!' Hahahahaha!!!!
Stress: This isn't funny! Sally's been taken hostage!
Iskall: But you gotta admit, it's kinda funny. Like, a FREE COOKED CHICKEN PARTY!!! That's so fricken hilarious.
Stress: Why has Doc taken Grian's- I mean, Poultry Man's chicken?
Iskall: I think it may have something to do with the pranks that's been going on around the server. I've heard there's been a heist at the stock exchange and I think this may have something to do with it.
Stress: Has Grian robbed the stock exchange?
Iskall: I think it was like... Mumbo and False dressed as Grian and Tango dressed as Mumbo and False? I have no idea. This is really confusing.
Stress: So this is the retaliation for the heist. We must find Sally! We must be her heroes!
Iskall: Before Poultry Man finds out and sues your chicken service!
Stress: We need to save her!!
(They search around)
Iskall: Stress, look at this!
Stress: It's a dungeon! And there's Sally!! (runs up to Sally and talks through iron bars) Don't worry, baby, it's going to be okay!!! We're here to save you!
Iskall: Doc's really gone all out with this dungeon.
Stress: Iskall! Hurry up! There's- (pufferfish is released in Sally's cage) Ow-! (backing up) There's a pufferfish!
Iskall: (mines through cage) Don't worry, Sally, we're here-
(Sally dies)
(Pause)
(Iskall bursts into laughter)
Stress: Iskall, this isn't funny!!!
Iskall: I'm so sorry- but this is ridiculous. So... what are we gonna do? We can't just tell Poultry Man that we failed at saving his girlfriend. Do you have a nametag?
Stress: I do.
Iskall: Well, I guess we can just name a chicken 'Sally' and pass it as the original Sally. I mean, it's just a chicken. You won't be able to tell the difference.
Stress: I mean... it's the best option we got.
(They get a new chicken and place it in Sally's coop)
Iskall: I'm gonna call up Grian.
(Grian enters)
Grian: What's up?
Stress: Grian! We saved Sally!
Grian: Who's Sally?
Stress: Your chicken, silly!
Grian: I don't have a chicken. I think you're talking about Poultry Man. We're not the same person. (points to sign on Sally's coop) It says here that Sally's been liberated by Poultry Man. NOT Grian.
Iskall: (sighs) Okay... whatever you say, man. Do you want me to call up Poultry Man, then?
Grian: After I leave.
(Grian exits)
(Poultry Man enters same place Grian exited)
Iskall: Oh look, Grian's here.
Poultry Man: No! I am not Grian! I'm Poultry Man! (throws eggs) I was told there was a disturbance.
Stress: So, Poultry Man. Your chicken, Sally, was taken to a dungeon by Doc. She was being held for ransom diamonds.
Poultry Man: What?! Why?! (runs to coop) But she's right here! She's right here!
Iskall: Because we rescued her.
Stress: Yep, we rescued her.
Iskall: We were heros. Definitely NOT killed by an evil pufferfish.
Stress: Yep, Sally's brave heroes.
Poultry Man (saddened:) Are you saying I'm not a good hero?
Stress: Awww... (runs over to hug Poultry Man)
Iskall: Listen, Poultry Man. Sometimes, even heroes need other people to hero them.
Poultry Man: I..I should've been there. This is unacceptable. I'm gonna have to give up my title as the best superhero on the server...
(Stress and Iskall hug sad Poultry Man)
Iskall: Don't be silly! You're still the best superhero of all superheroness. They write headlines about you! 'POULTRY MAN STRIKES AGAIN: RESCUES A LITTLE GIRL FROM CROSSING THE STREET.' I read it this morning.
Poultry Man: (crying) I wanna be a good superhero!
Stress: No! Don't cry! Aww...(hugs Poultry Man again)
Poultry Man: Thanks, Stress. But I believe it's time to go into hiding.
Iskall: Well, let's see if Sally survives the age cycle, though.
Stress: Yeah! Let's age her!
Poultry Man: Ooo, I wanna see! I like to see redstone I can't understand.
Stress: Ready?
(Stress presses the button. Redstone lamp turns on)
Poultry Man: Yay!
Iskall: Nope! SHE DIED! (bursts into laughter)
Stress: SHE DIED?!??
Poultry Man: No! You have to be kidding me!
Iskall: She actually died!
Poultry Man: But Sally's still here! She's still here!
(Stress snaps Sally's neck and drops her body. Stress doesn't want to do it, but has to)
Stress: I'm so sorry! (hugs Poultry Man)
Poultry Man: No... Not her!
Iskall: I'm so confused!
Stress: Uh... she probably died of stress from the situation she was in!
Poultry Man: She's gone. I've only known her for 3 episodes. She's never coming back... I thank you guys for saving her, but I was supposed to save her. I was supposed to be her hero. I failed at my only job. Now she's left to decompose, all because of me. There's no use for me anymore. A war is coming. And there's no way one failed superhero can stop it all from unraveling. I must go into hiding.
(Poultry Man exits with head down)
(Grian enters the same place Poultry Man exited)
Grian: Hey guys. What's up?
Stress: Just hanging around...
(Awkward silence)
Grian: So, what's going on?
Iskall: Just here... having a good time. I mean bad time. Since you're- I mean Poultry Man's chicken is dead... Y'know.
Grian: Oh, that is sad. Ah well. So, guys. There's a pretty serious conflict on the server right now.
Stress: Yeah! Doc took Sally and held her for ransom!
Grian: He actually gave me a ransom video. He was like 'aaa Grian you have 24 hours to get this chicken' but I was like 'dude, I don't have a chicken' so I seriously didn't know what he was on about. There was nothing to respond to. Whatever. It didn't really matter. It was just a chicken.
(Stress gasps)
Grian: So, with the war going on, we have to solidify that we're allies. We also have to solidify who's on our side.
Iskall: We can arrange a meeting in my doomsday room! Let's go!
(They exit)