WARNING: There is some graphic things in this chapter.
Katsuki's POV:
Shoto goes to his locker which is one of the ones I can't see from my locker in the back. I decide to not put my uniform back on, since the blazer didn't protect me from the chill wind. It's October, so it's going to get colder. I love the cold. The cold is sweater season and that means staying in and drinking hot chocolate. I can't do that at home, but we're supposed to move into the dorms sometime in November. I can't wait for that time. I wouldn't get random beatings throughout the week. Mother said that if I wanted to go live in the dorms, that I'd have to go home on the weekends.
She just wants me there so that she can beat me. Sundays are going to be the worst. I shudder at the thoughts already. I grab a beige/pink sweater. It's like a combination of both, and it doesn't look girly. I also take out a pair of dark gray joggers with a black line on the sides. Then I turn around so my back is to my locker, and I can see if someone is coming. Then I quickly take my costume off and slip on the hoodie. I noticed that the bruises did in fact go away.
Thank you Recovery Girl.
Only the sleeves of my costume are left, so I quickly take them off and roll down my hoodie sleeves. Then I put on the joggers, and put the costume away. Thankfully, the cuts healed too. There's only old scars. I don't think those would ever go away.
I slip on my black socks and tennis shoes and then grab the bags that I brought with me. We have to go back to class in order to put away the cases that have our costumes. I slowly make my way to Shoto's locker and stop before I remember that he could be changing. "Tch IcyHot, are you done changing?" He walks out with a maroon turtle neck, black jeans, and black vans. He looks good. I try not to drool. I've never really seen him outside of the school uniform. As I'm lost in thought, I notice that Shoto is looking at me.
His eyes travel up and down, he's looking at my clothing. My face heats up, half from being mesmerized by his outfit and half from being stared at for so long. He then looks into my eyes and says, "You look good Katsuki, let's go put away our costumes."
Ahhh did he say that I looked good? He's just being nice.
I hummed, nodded, and then waited for him to lead the way. I'm not very comfortable with people being behind me. He notices that I'm waiting for him and heads for the door.
He opens it and then goes to hold it for me. I pass him quickly, I think he notices. He makes a questioning face and runs up next to me as I wait. "What was that about?" He asks. I look at the floor before saying, "Nothing." He just nods, I guess he knew that I didn't want to talk about it. As we're walking, he slowly gets closer to me. I tense up from embarrassment. Eeee he wants to be close to me. I take a deep breath, and I was hit with the amazing smell of apples.
"Hm apples." My eyes widen. Oh no I said that out loud. He turns around and smiles. "Apples?" I turn red and then turn my face so that it's facing away from him. "Can I put my arm around your shoulder?" He asks out of nowhere. What the hell, is he being serious? He's so sweet, he asked because he knew that I didn't like sudden contact. He remembered. I can die now. Okay enough of that.
"What why?" I ask calmly.
"Because we have to bond somehow," he said casually. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye and he was grinning.
"Tch okay," I say. He immediately put his arm around me and we walked like that. He was closer and his scent was much more prominent. When we finally got to the class, he put his arm down. Hm, I didn't want him to stop that. We put the cases where they belonged and headed towards Midoriya's. It wasn't that far from the school, but it still takes a while when you're walking. As we walk out of the classroom, Shoto asks if he can put his arm around my shoulder again. "Sure," I say as casually as I can because I'm freaking out internally.
Then he asks, "What changed Katsuki?" I look at him, "What do you mean?" He looks back at me and says, "I noticed that you became less confident after the summer camp, what happened?" I quickly look away. There's a gentleness to his voice. It's so soothing it makes me want to tell him everything. Should I tell him?? I let out a shaky breath and he stops. We're still in the halls, so he walks me towards a wall and sits me down. I'm scared to tell him. "If you're not ready to tell me, it's no problem, I can wait. I just want you to confide in someone. I did want it to be me, but as long as you tell someone what happened," he says.
I take in a deep breath. "I don't know why I feel like I can trust you. We're supposed to be competition. But, you make me want to tell you my secrets. What are you doing to me?" My voice sounds so weak, I hate it. He looks at me as I talk. I don't want to look at him. I'm so embarrassed, he's seeing me in a weak state once again. "It's okay Katsuki. You can trust me. You don't have to tell me though." His voice is so smooth and welcoming.
I should tell him. I'm going to do it.
I build up all my courage and say, "Okay I'll tell you, but please don't hate me after." I don't give him a chance to answer because it's now or never. "Well when they took me in the summer camp, they tortured me. It wasn't for long, but it felt like forever. They-"
I took a deep breath.
"They did things to me. They tied me down and put me in a dark room. I was tied to this board thing, but it had wheels so it was easy to move. They took off my shirt and cut my chest. They wanted me to join them." I compose myself a little bit.
"Hey can I hold your hand? I know this is hard," he asked.
I nodded and he reached over for my hand. He intertwined his fingers with mine and I continued.
"They told me about their plans and said that I would be a perfect member in their team. I declined their offer every time, but they just cut deeper and deeper. They didn't care that I wasn't going to give in and join them. Then they left me in a room and after a while, Shigaraki came in-" I sob at the memory and let go of his hand to hide my face in my hands. He let me cry for a little bit as I try to compose myself. I clear my throat before starting again.
"Shigaraki came into the room and locked the door behind him." I grab his hand this time and don't look at him.
"He locked the door and walked towards me with this look on his face. I yelled at him to go away, I was so scared, but he just reached for my pants as I tried to kick him. I thrashed around, trying to make him get away from me. He had these gloves on and trailed his hand around my chest. He grazed the cuts which made me wince. He smiled at me and then went to unbutton my pants. At this point I was begging for him to stop. That didn't seem to do anything. When he got them off, he took me off of the board thing that I was on. I was in the floor now, too weak to move and he covered my face with this rag."
I'm still looking away from Shoto. He's probably disgusted. I steal a quick look and see that he has an angered look on his face. A tear rolls down his face. I look away again. "It didn't knock me out, it just made it to where I couldn't move. I was paralyzed on the floor." I squeeze his hand.
"H-he grabbed me. Down. Down there. And I couldn't even move my mouth to talk. I was crying so much, I wanted to die. I prayed that something would happen so that I'd die. Nothing did though. Then he undid his pants."
I'm shaking at this point. I feel him squeeze my hand. I grab his tighter, still too ashamed to face him. "He, uhm, he, put it in my- my mouth. I couldn't breathe. I tried so hard to move. He just didn't stop though. Then he-" I start crying hard. It feels like I can't stop, and I hide my face in my knees. Tears are just falling.
He whispers, "Hey Katsuki, it's okay. You don't have to continue. Really. You went through something traumatic. Does anyone else know about this?"
His voice calms me a bit, but he sounds so angry. I shake my head no. "Can I get closer to you? Can I hug you?" He asks. I nod quickly. I feel so disgusting though. How can he even touch me after that?
He scoots closer and turns my body to face him. He hugs me so warmly. I hide my face in his shoulder. I'm shaking and sobbing. I realize that I'm ruining his shirt.
"Oh I'm so sorry I'm messing up your shirt again." I pull away, but he just pulls me back.
"It's okay, don't worry about it Katsuki."
I cry harder and I feel as if though I'd never stop. I know he doesn't expect me to continue, but I do.
"He also put it in m-me. It h-hurt so much. Please don't let him take me again." I say in between sobs and hiccups.
"Oh Katsuki, I had no idea that this is what you were going through. I won't let him take you again. EVER AGAIN. That's a promise Katsuki."
My crying is so loud. "I'm so sorry, I'm being loud, " I say. I try stopping. He hugs me harder. Breathing is hard. "Hey Katsuki just follow my breaths, like last time okay?" He takes a deep breath and then exhales and I do the same. He repeats this until I finally do it on my own. I'm much better now, but I have to continue. I need to finish. I need to tell someone.
"I'm not finished though. He, uh, didn't stop. He did it inside o-of me. I'm sorry you're probably disgusted. I'm so sorry." I pull away from him, get up, and start walking away from him. "I'm so sorry, but please don't tell anyone else," I say. He's shocked. "No Katsuki, I'm not disgusted. Don't think that. Get over here, it's okay. Please don't say that. I won't tell anyone else yet. When you're ready, I'll go with you to tell someone. I'll be here okay?"
"But I've been thrown around and played with like a toy. The things that he did to me are disgusting. How could you even be in the same room as me now that you know? I'm so gross, I hate myself. Don't touch me, I'll get you dirty."
At this point I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm just breaking down in front of Shoto, yet again. He gets up and walks towards me. I back up slowly. Maybe he's gonna hurt me because I'm so gross. He knows, and now he's going to beat me up. As I'm walking backwards, I trip and now I'm on my butt.
He gasps. "Katsuki." He runs towards me and I flinch, putting my arms in front of me. "Please don't hit me in the face, please anywhere but my face," I plead. If I have bruises on my face, it'll be more noticeable and it's hard to hide.
"No Katsuki, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm sorry for scaring you. I would never hurt you. Please believe me. You are not disgusting, so don't you ever say that. Shigaraki is a disgusting person who did disgusting things to you, but you, you're an amazing person and I want to get to know you better. Would you let me do that? Please Katsuki?"
I nod and he comes to sit with me. I can't believe I'm letting this happen. "Sorry about your shirt again," I say. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry, water will fix it."
I nod. Then I whisper, "When he finished, I was still unable to move, but I could feel everything. I wanted to die. I had never wanted something so bad in my life. They continued to torture me with knives and stuff like that. They burned me too. Recovery Girl was able to heal all of the wounds. It took a couple of visits, but they finally healed. All the pros know about is the cutting and burning." I'm still scared to see his face.
He lifted up my chin so that I'd face him. "Hey Katsuki, you're so brave. I can't believe you went through all that. And look at you, you're still here. Sure you aren't 100%, but I can help you get back up there. I'll be with you every step of the way. We do have to tell someone eventually though. I'll be with you, but it will have to happen," he says softly.
When it's a little more calm, he stands up and takes out his hand for me. I grab it and he pulls me up. He hugs me and I smile slightly. "Thank you Shoto. Really. Thank you," I say.
It feels like a small weight off my chest really. No more hiding, even if it's only with one person.
He grabs my hand and starts walking. He grabbed our bags and I offered to take mine, but he refused. We walk to the restroom to fix ourselves up. Mostly me. I just put more make-up under my eyes, and make sure that it doesn't look like I've been crying. I turn around and see Shoto successfully taking off the make-up that I put on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Shoto," I say.
"I told you not to worry about it Katsuki," he replies sincerely.
I nod a bit. "Does it look fine?" I ask him, referring to the make-up under my eyes. He just nods and walks towards me. He smiles before kissing my forehead. My face heats up.
"It's almost 7, we should head to the sleepover," I say. He just nods, takes my hand, and walks towards the doors. He has my bags of course. We head to the exit doors and towards Midoriya's.
"Thank you Shoto," I say again.
He looks at me fondly and says, "I just wanted to help you. No need to thank me Katsuki."
I like the way he says my name. I wonder if he likes me. Probably not, he's just being a good friend. We finally get to the sleepover, and me and Shoto look at each other and then our intertwined hands. We both decide to let go and we walk in. I sigh, this is going to be one long weekend.
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Word Count: 2,663
Omg the word count is at 2,000. Crazy. Would you guys like longer chapters like this one? Thank you guys so much for reading. I'm so hyped up. Lol I don't think people say "hyped up" anymore. This chapter was a dark one. Thank you guys for the comments and votes. This fanfic already has over 1 thousand reads!!!! Ahhhh love you all. <3