I woke up unware of my surroundings, and how I got here.
I had the most awful dream ever.
My body was sweating, and trembling because it was so vivid, so real.
But, when he burst into the room where I lay on the floor, I realised it wasn't a dream, it was very much real.
My collarbone was on fire, but I don't know why.
"You're awake." He said towering over me, with a look in his eyes. A look that says I win, I'm superior. And my body felt too weak to even try fight back.
"You sick bastard!" I spit with my words full of hatred. I couldn't fight him off, but that doesn't mean I was willing to roll over and give up completely. He wanted me broken, but he would have to do a lot more to break me. His fist tightened and his jaw clenched causing his teeth to forcefully grind, it almost looked like his jaw would snap. I knew what I said would anger him. His dad left when he was a kid, his parents weren't married, and when his dad ran off, and married another woman who he had children with, the word bastard lived with Logan forever after that.
"You know you're a dirty little whore right? Now Rome thinks it too." He composed himself, because he knew those images of having sex with Logan, in front of Rome, having to pretend I enjoyed it, was worse than any beaten he could give me.
"I'm sorry for what I've done, I am. But you, you are a evil man. I wish I knew that back then. I regret ever meeting you. I wish I had of chosen him. It should have been him. Deep down it was always him." My anger took over me. I knew I shouldn't have said that, as I did though I felt his foot forcefully kick me into the jaw, causing a cracking sound, and me to begin screaming out a cry.
"Come with me!" He says grabbing my hair, and pulling me along the ground. It hurt so bad, I tried to release his grip from me, but he was far too strong. I was pulled out into a hallway, and dragged up the stairs by my hair.
Until we reached a door, and I was dragged more roughly inside.
My eyes scanned the room, until they met his. I wasn't sure if he could see me, his face was almost completely swollen.
I crawled towards him, on my hands and knees. I felt so weak, and I couldn't understand why, why I was as weak as I was.
I heard Logan shout out a curse, causing me to freeze.
I turned to face him, trying to be brave, although I was nowhere near it.
"Did you lie about being pregnant?" He asks me full of rage. I stuttered for a moment, unsure as to why he would ask that.
"N_no I am pregnant." That's when I realised my trousers were saturated in blood. Bright red, soaked right through.
"The baby." I sobbed out. I couldn't see anything through the tears, and I knew in that moment that he had finally broke me. I had not an ounce of a fight inside me.
All I could feel was two strong arms pick me up, and cradle me like a baby. I just sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed, until I feel asleep in his arms.
***
I woke with wires attached to me everywhere. Along with a crowd filled room. Everyone panicking, and worried.
It took me a moment to realise these were doctor's, and nurses. Logan stood in the corner of the room watching, I could have sworn he almost looked like he eas guilt ridden, and filled with regret.
He even approached me, and reached his hand out for me to hold.
I turned away, I couldn't face him, but truth be told when the doctor began internally examining me, my hand grabbed his ever so tightly. I wanted Rome here, not Logan. But right now I was scared. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to face this alone, because I had been here before, I had endured the loss of two babies before, I don't think my heart could handle another.
Chlamydia. I heard the doctor say to the other. But I couldn't comprehend what they were saying. Me? Do they mean I have chlamydia? But how? That's impossible. I look at Logan in horror. It's written all over his face. It was him? It was him!
I pull my hand away, and smack him with my fist right into his mouth, causing him to spit out blood. To my suprise he doesn't say anything. He simply turns away, like a coward.
"Don't pretend like you care. You don't care. You're a heartless evil monster." I snap. "If I'm a monster, it's because you created a monster." He whispers, with his back still to me. "You can kill me, you can kill everyone, you can torture me all you want, but I'll never, and I mean never love you. You're unlovable. You're worthless." My words spit venom, but anger or not, I mean every word.
He just walks away. Leaving me to sob once again. My baby is dead. Nobody has said it, but they don't need to. I can feel it. Eventually I cry myself to sleep all over again.
...
"I'm going to let you say good-bye to her. That's the most generous thing I can do. It may not make me a great man, but considering what you've done, and who I am, it's a lot for me to allow. Everything you haven't said, say it to her, because after today this will be the last time you ever see her again."
I can't be a normal man. I'm not normal. I can't take back the things I've done. I can't stop myself doing the things I'm about to do, but I do have love for her, the only way I can show that, is by allowing her a proper good-bye. I can't allow them to be together. I won't. But, I can allow them to have their last goodbye.
As we get to the door, I gesture for him to go inside.
"15 minutes. No longer." I state as I leave two of my men guarding the door from the outside.
....
I don't want to say good-bye, but it's the only way I can keep her safe right now. He told me if I leave and never contact her again, that he will take care of her. That he will leave her unharmed. That I can take Kaida as far away from him as possible. You see he doesn't want his daughter. It's Kate he wants. Kate is all he ever wanted. But I stood in the way of that many times. This time however he knew he had lost. So like a coward, a man deeply in love, I agreed to walk away. For her. I can't stand back and be the reason for her death. I can't have her blood on my hands. How do I put into words how I feel about her? How I feel right now? How I felt back then? How I know I'll never feel that way again? Because it will always and only be her. Forever and eternity.
She looks at me confused, like she thinks she's dreaming. I wish she was dreaming. I wish this was all a dream.
"When I first met you, I was mesmerized. You stood out, your smile melted my heart. I thought at first sleeping with you would be enough. Enough to stop me picturing your perfect, innocent smile in my mind. But it didn't stop it. I wanted more. More than just sex." I take a seat on the side of the bed, and lace my fingers in hers. "I imagined our kids, us getting married, in our own house. Happy. A family. But each day my feelings grew stronger, and I was scared. I was scared that you'd realise you deserved better than me. So I ran away. I thought doing that would save my heart from breaking. But it only hurt me more, because I know it tore you apart. When I came back I could see how broken you were. That sparkle in your eyes was gone. That innocent smile, it had turned so cold. You weren't you. And that fucking tore me apart, because I was part of the reason. And when I seen those messages between you and Nate. You wanting another baby for him, I ran away because I knew I couldn't give you that. I couldn't give you another little version of Rio. Only he could. And I wanted you happy, damn I wanted that sparkle in your eyes to shine again, I wanted you to smile with happiness again, and I thought I couldn't do that. If I could go back, I would change only one thing. And it would be selfless. I would never have went to the wedding, I never would have returned home. That way I would have never hurt you, and he never would have met you. You wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for me. I said we were meant to be, but the truth is. I don't think we were. I think I wanted us to be, because you mean the world to me. This is where we must say goodbye sweetheart. This is where I'm putting you first now, since I can't go back and change the past. But I promise you will always, and I mean always have my heart." I kiss her on the forehead, as her tears flow down her cheeks. Before I walk to the door, I want to look back, but I don't allow myself, I can't look at her hurt once again because of me.
Sorry for the short chapter.
This is where I needed to leave this one off. To be fair though I've published 3 in 12 hours. So I think you can forgive me 🤣🤣
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Thanks darlings 😘