Home, I was home again. But why do I feel this agonizing guilt?! Now thousand questions were playing in my mind
With what money will I be wed?
When will I be wed?
Did I do the right thing?
What now?
Events of yesterday were still fresh in my memory. The pain I saw in my mothers eyes the moment her eyes landed on me was unexplainable. I had no explanation for my actions except that it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t stay in town anymore. I think they believed I could not bear to stay away from Mudi that’s why I came back.
My mother called Hajiya earlier today, she asked her to overlook the actions of a young girl like me who was trying to find herself. She assured Hajiya I did not take her money for transport fare, which is a total lie. Because I took her money. She gave me the phone and I apologized to Hajiya. Hajiya non the less refused to take me back although she said she forgives me. Who would have thought hajiya is that unforgiving?
I have to face the fact that I have no job and no way to finance my long longed wedding to my beloved. But I will find a way.
My mother decided to find a loan so she can buy the necessary stuff. She will ask her friends and family. Those she trust. And she will sell what is left of her samira. It’s harvest season. So my mother will pressure my father to buy some things.
Unfortunately, the harvest was poor.
It was decided the sooner the wedding the lesser the humiliation.
We pressured Mudi, like there was no tomorrow. We went to a Malam for Devine intervention so that Mudi will have no peace until we were wed. Finally Mudi’s Uncle, who came for the introduction said that it was better to get us wed and get it done with. He set the date and preparations were started.
I was finally getting my long awaited desire. In a month time i shall be wed to The man i cannot say his name without a smile. Lord, i cannot even call his name upfront. I don’t call Him ‘Mudi’ directly out of shyness. Shyness, the side effect of love i guess. In my village, it is believed that shyness comes with love.
Preparations began. I was given herbs after herbs to take and also use in my lady parts. They were all enhancers. So that I may discharge my marital obligations smoothly and to the optimal level. All women have bodily assets, but she who nurtures it stands out. I’m nurturing mine.
I apologized to Shatu and we were back to normal. Shatu was leaving to go to a distant town in two months. There, she will work. They pay handsomely. But the last set of 15 girls that came back from the town were all pregnant. It was said a madam take the girls and they became escorts to men. The men also give them tips. The moment they were taken to the town they were given injection shots of birth control. Yet, in the last batch it all failed. After the recent incident, the village head was opposed to taking girls to that distant town. But the parents protested vehemently. They decided to take the girls in secret. Halimatu will say she is taking them to town, while in-fact she will be taking them to the distant town. Shatu was excited to go, there will be money, plenty of it, it was enough reason for any girl to want to go. Deep down I feel like she is compensating for lack of a suitor, I don’t blame her one bit. She promised to buy stuff for me whenever she will be coming back.
We started planning the wedding. Choosing a nice fabric for bridesmaid.
We informed all our friends. I made sure i personally take a tiny piece of the clothing to Maryam the girl with the evil omen, if she choses she may buy the full fabric. She did not insult me, but she did not say she would come either. It was a good sign.
Hajara was pregnant and almost due. She was excited for me.
Zakiyya was already married in town. So I know she would not make it.
Rabi has gotten herself a man who loved her and wanted to marry her. He sells watermelon in the market. She will be going to the distant town also for 6months after which she will be married.
There were celebrations a day before the actual wedding ceremony, the nikkah. My friends were all present, even the girl with an evil omen. It was a good sign. A good omen for me. We danced to calabash music and we ate and drank.
The grooms men gave money to the brides maids to cook for them. It was customary. They did.
Donations started coming in. People giving me gifts or money to my mother as a sign of goodwill.
It was my wedding day. The men went for the nikkah(the actual wedding).
We waited eagerly and i prayed in silence against any unforeseen obstacle.
We were still waiting when we heard the sound of women cheering. a signal that the wedding had taken place. I am now the wife of Mudi, the future mother of his children. I now can devote my self to him: heart, body and soul. My prayer was answered and my heart can finally rest, i am in-fact married to my beloved.
I was married to Mudi without all the expected things I am suppose to take to my husband’s house. But, I did not care, the most important thing is that I am married to him. The whole village can backbite if they want, I couldn’t care less.
I will be taken to Mudi’s house that night. It was customary for brides to cry when being taken to their husband’s house. But i couldn’t bring myself to it. I was too excited. It will be shameful if i did not cry. Shatu took matters in her hands, she cut an onion and brought it close to my eyes. It worked. I had tears, not the tears that were expected but they will do.
I was taken to my grandmother, my parents and my aunts who gave me a firm lecture about marriage and duty.
Face shrouded with a thick wrapper, i was escorted to my husbands house. When i was about to enter, the elder women cautioned that i should enter with the right foot for good luck and to ward off the devils promptings, i complied.
I was taken to Mudi’s parents, while my aunt gave the speech
“We have brought to you a daughter. We are bonded by marriage, the sunnah of our prophet. We are confident you will take care of her as a daughter. Please, correct her when she errs, admonish her if needed. We hand her over to you...” I zoned out. I just wanted her to cut the speech short so I can rest in my room, in my matrimonial house and left alone with my husband.
It felt like all those years of my life I wasn’t living, it was like I was floating in existence, until today it felt like I was searching for my purpose in life.
Today it feels like my feet are grounded on earth, today I start living, my life’s journey begin today. Let this chatty woman shut up so if can finally start living. I thought. After about 10minutes of talking she finally shut up. Then mudi’s relatives started talking. Thankfully, it was short.
Then i was taken to Hafsat’s room. My aunt said to her,
“we have brought your sister to you, you are closer now, she is not only a sister by blood but also a sister in marriage. I will like to entrust her to you, As God is my witness”
Hafsat was composed and gave a half smile. Then she spoke
“Baaba Ma’u, there is no need for formalities. You are my mother and Ladi my sister. There is no ill will between us. She is my sister in marriage just like she has always been a sister to me. Gods willing, you will find me the most accommodating sister. She had always have a place in my heart, today i give her a place in my home, to share in my joy and my future. I shall share my husband, who is now her husband without scuffle. What kind of a sister will i be if i deny her the joys of marriage or the joys of having a husband? You will not have a problem on my part. I will not harm her, even in secret because i know the Almighty is always watching. Put your hearts at ease, i will take care of her”
With that i was finally taken to my room. I was tired of all the formalities. I just wanted them to leave so i can start my new life. They left and shatu left with them after giving me a hug and a mischievous wink.