"Nayeon! Hey! Come here." Her friend called.
"I think she wants to talk to you." Jimin said in her ear.
She sighed and turned around. "What's up?"
"Can you come with me to the bathroom?"
Nayeon looked at Jimin with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I'll be right back. I gotta go with her. It's girl code."
"It's fine. Go on." He assured.
She nodded and unwrapped her arms from his body. It felt cold and like it shouldn't be that way.
Jimin was left on the dance floor and he kept wondering where Yoongi had went. The last time he saw him, he was sitting on a stool drinking and when Jimin looked back he was gone.
People dancing and going by kept bumping into him. So, he decided to walk away too. He followed a random guy into the kitchen where there were more people drinking.
Jimin coughed at the strong smell of smoke. He always did hate it. "Psst." He heard and he turned his head to see Yoongi sitting on a counter beside the kitchen sink.
He had a lighter at hand and a cup on the other. Jimin instantly smiled and slowly made his way there without catching attention.
He started to pour himself alcohol from the mixture beside him. "Hey," Yoongi said. The music wasn't as loud here, but he was so afraid that if he spoke any louder people would notice him.
"Hi." He whispered back with a smile on his face.
"You look so hot." He said. Jimin's heart skipped a beat and he looked in his direction only to see that he was looking straight ahead, but was smiling.
"T-thank you. You-you look ni-nice."
"Just nice?"
Jimin cleared his throat and it felt like his hand got shakier by the second. "You look hot too."
Yoongi chuckled looking down at his lighter. He started playing with it while swinging his feet in the air.
"When we go to Jungkook's tonight. Are you trying to sneak out to see me?"
"Sneak out? Where?"
"The room I'll be staying in. Or shit, I'll go to your room."
"Won't we be sharing rooms with someone?"
Yoongi smirked looking up, "Holy shit. You're right. Since you're my roommate already we might as well share a room, huh?"
Jimin turned red and giggled paying his attention back to the cup in his hands. They were both too busy with themselves that they hadn't noticed Nayeon leaning on the fridge a few feet away.
She didn't know whether it was the alcohol in her veins, or the fact that she knew Yoongi was taking her place, but she felt her emotions slowly build up into bigger ones.
She sipped the last alcohol in the cup and walked out of the kitchen. Why couldn't she just put this aside? Why couldn't she just see him as a friend? Why did she have to fall for him so inevitably?
"Nayeon! Look at this..."
She kept walking by without stopping. Until, she made it out the door to the front porch. Her ears were buzzing due to the obnoxiously loud music in the background.
It was cold outside, but she didn't feel a thing at the moment. Her body was numb and she felt numb.
She frustratedly closed her eyes and started pacing back and forth. Don't cry, don't cry, please don't cry.
If she cried she knew she wouldn't stop. If she cried she knew it would hurt both Jimin and Yoongi. If she cried she would be selfishly ruining their night and she couldn't do that.
But, as hard as she tried to hold it in she just couldn't swallow her tears back down. She leaned her forehead on the wall and closed her eyes with the heavy tears falling. Then, weeped silently while banging her fists on the wall.
"What did the house ever do to you?"
She gasped looking up with red puffy eyes. Namjoon was beside her focused on her crying. She sniffled her chest heavy and she sounded like a little kid who had just been vaccinated and wanted a hug from their mom.
"It's white and I hate the color white." She told wiping her tears with her hands. Her masacrara and eyeliner ran down her cheeks and Namjoon thought she looked beautiful.
"Me too. Want one?" He offered taking out a pack of cigarettes.
"No thank you. I would like to stay cancer free and keep my lungs."
He laughed closing with his cigarette box. "Yeah, cigarettes are shit."
"Why do you smoke then?"
He shrugged sticking them back in his pocket, "Because I need something to do. It sounds stupid, but you know kids are stressed nowadays. Vague excuse to smoke my lungs away, but that's exactly why teenagers are smoking and drinking and doing drugs. We're all tired. We have so much pressure on us. It's like our parents and school want us to give them everything and they don't offer to help. We get depression, anxiety, and stress from everything that is being put on us. They don't let us be kids anymore. And, then they wonder why we're all doing stupid shit to escape this shitty reality. It just pisses me off. Some even say that we're too young to be depressed and stressed. Well I say fuck that. How would they know? Do they know that kids as young as 3 are diagnosed with depression and anxiety? Anyways, sorry for my rant. This alcohol got me feeling some type of way."
Nayeon smiled and turned around leaning on the wall. "Yeah, fuck the shitty world. There's a lot of injustice."
"Fuck them yall. Except babies because they don't know any better."
"Caring of you to say. That's the most I've ever heard you talk."
Namjoon laughed, "Holy shit. You really don't pay attention to me then. I talk my larynx away. My friends will confirm that if you doubt it."
"You smoke your lungs away and then talk your larynx away?" She grinned. She could feel the cold air dry her tears.
She had been so emotional and heated, but talking to Namjoon had sort of made her forget it all. At least for a second.
"Pretty much," he said as he took off his jacket. Then, he handed it to her and she looked at him confused.
"What for?"
"So you can wear or wipe your mascara on it. Whatever you want to do with it."
She smiled with tears in her eyes once again. "Yeah, fucking white wall." She laughed.
"Yeah, fuck it. We can stay out here and beat the shit out of it. Or go inside since it's cold as shit."
She put on his jacket which was slightly bigger and smelled just like him. She stared at the darkness in front of them.
"I want to stay here just a little longer."
And so they did.
•••
"Where are you going?" Yoongi asked coming next to Jimin who was drinking fruit punch. "Umm, I need to pee." He mumbled giggling.
"You know that fruit punch has alcohol, right?" He smirked.
"Really? I've only had two!" He said a bit too hyper.
"Oh yeah, I can tell. Let's go I'll take you."
"Okay. Thank you." He said hoping off the stool.
He followed Yoongi down the hallway to a door. He leaned on the door to hear what was going on.
"I think whoever is in there is finishing up. Shit, I really have to pee." Yoongi cursed.
"You can go next. I have no problem waiting." Jimin said with the sweetest smile.
Yoongi sighed caressing his face, "Fuck, you're too sweet. But, no you go next. There's another bathroom upstairs. I'll be right back, okay? When you're done using it just wait for me here."
"Okay. Will do." He responded.
Yoongi quickly looked around and planted a quick peck on his lips before running up the stairs.
Jimin kept smiling looking at his shoes. He covered his mouth and tapped closed his eyes daydreaming about Yoongi.
"Are you stalking me now?" Jin blurted.
Jimin gasped and opened his eyes to see him leaning on the bathroom door. "N-no. I-I was waiting for the bathroom."
Jin hiccuped and pointed his finger at him. "You're just trying to stalk me and catch me doing something. You won't though!"
"I'm-I'm just here literally to pee. My bladder is so full it hurts. I promise it's just that."
He looked at how scared Jimin was and softened his tone. "Hey, sorry," he mumbled quietly.
"What?"
"I'm sorry." He mumbled again.
Jimin leaned closer turning a shade of red, "What? I'm really sorry. I can't hear the music is too loud and—"
"I'm sorry!" He screamed.
He flinched and stepped back again. Once again Jin softened his tone. "I'm sorry for screaming and for being rude to you before. I just don't appreciate you making assumptions of me."
"It's okay. I didn't mean to. I just didn't want you to feel alone and sad."
"I'm fine." He lied. His whole life was a lie. Why was he trying so hard to pretend what he wasn't?
"O-okay."
"Alright, just because I apologized doesn't mean you can go run your mouth about those fake rumors."
Jimin laughed, "Really? You're telling me this? I talk to like three people. Literally."
"Still." He replied crossing his arms over his chest.
"Okay. I won't tell. I know my opinion doesn't really matter to you, but you shouldn't care about your sexual preference. You're still you and no matter what."
He scoffed, "Yeah. Easy to say."
"Who was your first love?" Jimin wondered.
"What? What does that have to do with anything?"
"I'm just wondering."
"This girl named Wendy. She was in my third grade class and I was infatuated with her. Because she had this cute little nose and...wait, why?"
He smiled sadly, "I was hoping you would've said yourself."
"Huh?"
"I wanted you to say you were your first love. How beautiful would that be? To love yourself enough?"
Jin blinked several times trying to process what he had just said. "Do you love yourself?"
Jimin smiled yet again and looked down at his shoes. "I'm working on it. It's okay. You can rest tonight and try again tomorrow."
They heard footsteps coming down the steps and Jin got a little paranoid. "Just don't tell anyone." He said before walking away.
"Good job! You stayed here." Yoongi chuckled approaching him.
"Actually, I haven't even peed." He admitted.
"What? I even took a shit. Why haven't you used the bathroom yet?"
"I...uhh...wanted to wait for you. Now that you're back I can go."
Yoongi shrugged and waited for him to finish. Minutes later, Jimin walked out wiping his hands on his pants.
"They're out of paper towels."
"You ready? Let's go. We're going to Jungkook's house."
"Alright."
They walked one behind the other each smiling at the ground. At one point, they caught eyes and for the first time in a long time Jimin felt alive.
There was no denying how crazy they were for each other. No matter how hard they tried to deny it and even if they were twenty feet away from each other.
Their eyes spoke louder than words.