"I can't believe this."
Soyoung's mouth is agape, her manicured nails wrapped around the cup of coffee Hana made for her while her cup of tea sat on the table in front of her.
Hana was all cuddled up in a blanket on her sofa, Puppy sat on her lap comfortably as she pet her soft fur.
"Yeah, I don't either."
Hana had been MIA for the past five days, after what happened all she did was go to work and come back home. She didn't stop at the coffeehouse neither did she stop anywhere else, only in and out of work. It was on the third day that Soyoung got tired of her bullshit and showed up to her house with a furious look, demanding her best friend to tell her everything and after much budging and a cup of coffee, Hana spilled the tea.
"No wonder you've been so..."
"Distant? Exactly."
Before Soyoung can open her mouth again Hana cuts her off. "Don't ask me what I'm going to do because I'm not going to do anything."
"What the fuck do you mean you won't do anything?" Soyoung's face contorts in confusion and disbelief. She gets up from where she sat on the sofa adjacent to Hana and sits next to her.
"I mean I won't do anything, I don't know what to do so my default is doing nothing."
"Okay," Soyoung scoffs, "first of all, shut the fuck up."
Hana rolls her eyes at her friend who is being way too dramatic. "Can you stop swearing in front of Puppy? I don't want her to listen to such foul language."
"Okay, number two." Soyoung completely ignores Hana and raises her fingers to hold up two. Her eyebrows raised in a chastising manner. "You will speak to Jungkook. I know you're scared and confused about how to approach this but the boy is right. It's not everyday you meet your long lost best friend slash almost lover—"
"Can you not—"
"And expect to do nothing about it! Especially when he's the biggest idol on this planet."
Hana sighs helplessly. She wishes Soyoung could see this from her position, but the fact is she didn't. "I get what you're saying So but this is just, I have so much to say to him that I don't even know where to start. I mean what do I say? 'Fuck you for what you did six years back and even though I never wanted to see you again I wouldn't mind having you around.'"
Soyoung smiles lightly at her friend knowing that her humour isn't really coming from a good place.
"It wasn't just one big thing you know?" Hana mumbles, "there were so many small things building up. It didn't help that there were..." Hana pauses, her nose scrunching as she continues the sentence, "feelings from my side too."
Hana never, ever, wanted to speak about that.
"There could have been possible feelings from—"
"Yeah okay, So," Hana rolls her eyes. She's spent the past few days moping and feeling sad and she doesn't feel like being sad in front of Soyoung so she tries her best to blow the whole thing away. "I know you like being positive but this by far one of the worst things to happen to me. I'm so lost, so lost that I can't even imagine what I'm going to say to him if I ever see him again."
As if on cue, the doorbell rings. Hana and Soyoung pause for a second, eyes wide as they stare at each other for a few seconds before Soyoung is gulping. "Should I get that?"
The sound of the passcode being punched in and the door opening makes their shoulders deflate instantly in relief. Hana turns from her seat on the sofa, Puppy jumps from her lap and bounces up to the warm appearing figure of Lucas.
"Oh hey Puppy, how are you." Lucas drops to his knees so that he can shower the little dog with affection and Hana only smiles endearingly at the sight.
Hana has a good life. She wholeheartedly believes that, but Lucas was one of the few things in her life that were so good, so pure and healthy that she can't help but think if she really deserves to be surrounded by such beautiful people. Maybe Lucas was fates way of compensating for the loss of Jeongguk?
"Hi guys," Lucas smiles charmingly at the two girls.
Hana smiles back at him happily as he walks over to where they're sitting. His hand comes out to playfully squish Hana's cheeks with a smile and the girl lets him. She knows that deep down Lucas would want to kiss her when they meet or give her a peck on the cheek but all those things would come under them being romantically involved and neither of them had entered that circle yet.
"Hey Lucas." Soyoung's smile is friendly as the girls watch him take a seat on the sofa next to Hana. There isn't any space but he squishes himself in regardless.
"What's up?"
The girls share a glance with each other before Soyoung opens her mouth, "I was just telling Hana about this guy I went out with."
Lucas accepts that as the truth, nodding lightly he asks, "Well, how is he? Planning on having more dates?"
He reaches for the remote that's placed on the small coffee table in front, he flickers through a couple of channels before settling on an entertainment news one.
"Um, maybe. That's what we were discussing."
The three then fall into easy conversation. Lucas sits close to Hana, his arm rests on the back of the sofa behind her.
Hana's eyes drift from the tv to the people around her, she's not thinking of much really. She's trying not to at least. It's easier this way; not overthinking stuff she doesn't have control over.
"There goes BTS for another award show."
Hana's eyes dart sharply from Lucas to the tv where the boy band is being crowded around at the airport. They're all dressed comfortably in loose t-shirts and wide pants. Their steps are hurried with their heads bent down and while some of them make no eye contact with the people around, she notices a few of the members bowing and waving. She feels sorry for them, watching as they aren't given any space to even walk. The security is tight as they push people away harshly and yet they keep coming back. Hana knows if she were their place, being crowded to the point of not being able to walk she would've ended up screaming.
"I don't understand why people can't let them just walk to their gate in peace," Lucas huffs, "it's so rude and just overall ugly behaviour."
Hana looks at the boy with a raised eyebrow. His tone is harsher than what she expected it to be while talking about BTS.
"Do you like them Lucas? Like as a band?" Soyoung asks the question for Hana. She's hiding a small smile because she knows her question might be teasing but they're both genuinely curious.
"Well, yeah. I mean their music is great and they're amazing performers so what's not to like?"
Hana laughs lightly at his response. She doesn't know what she was expecting as a reply but it definitely wasn't this.
"Don't you guys like them?"
The question makes Hana stop fumbling with the drawstring of Lucas' sweatpants.
"I do." Soyoung answers casually. "Like you said, great music and plus they're very pretty to look at so you know? What's not to like?" She copies Lucas' last line on purpose. A giggle escaping her when he playfully rolls his eyebrows at her.
"What about you ba—Hana? Do you like them?"
Hana pretends not to notice his slip with her mind preoccupied on the answer she will give. At first, she was a die-hard ARMY. She would buy all their albums and listen to all their music even after her and Jungkook stopped speaking. Regardless of where they stood, she still wanted to give him her unconditional support even if he didn't want it and even if he didn't know.
But then years passed and it got more and more painful to listen to his voice on the radio or look at his face in music videos. Every time his sweet voice would sing a lyric, Hana's heart would clench in nostalgia and eventually she stopped listening to them altogether. There were times she would still buy the album because deep down she would always support her best friend but never got around listening to it.
"I like them," she shrugs casually and doesn't say anything further. She knows Lucas is expecting more of a reply but when he doesn't get one he turns back to face the TV.
"When will they come back?" The sentence slips out of Hana's mouth. She doesn't want to admit but part of her was hoping to see Jungkook soon.
"I have no idea. Maybe a week?"
"Wait," Soyoung says while squinting at the tv, "I can only see six boys. Aren't they supposed to be seven?"
The other two follow suit in paying attention to the tv, realising that her observation is correct. "Huh," Lucas mumbles. "Maybe we missed him."
There's a beat of silence to his response.
"Well," Soyoung gets up from her seat. "I'll head out. Got, uh, a date to go and then back to the coffee shop so I need to get going."
Hana pouts from her seat, she knows she doesn't have a date, the pretence only continuing because of Lucas. "Stay for a bit, I'm sure all of that can wait."
"Yeah," Lucas says, "we were gonna go grab dinner or something."
Hana raises a brow because even she didn't know they going to grab dinner. But she doesn't refuse the offer of food. She gets up from her seat to follow Soyoung to the door.
"No you both go ahead, I'll join in later if I have time," her blonde hair is tied up in a high ponytail and it sways from side to side as she bends down to slip on her shoes. The two girls are now in the small hallway that parts the living room and the door to the apartment. They can still hear the tv playing but the living room and it's sole habitant is no longer in sight.
"You should honestly stay to eat," Hana begins in a soft voice knowing that although Lucas can't see them it's not too hard to hear. "I know you don't have a date."
Soyoung rolls her eyes playfully and smiles, her hand on the doorknob. "Yeah? What if I do?"
"Then we can call Lucas and it can be a double date." Hana grins cheerfully.
Soyoung opens the door, body still facing Hana as she leans forward to give her a hug, "I'll see you tomorrow."
Hana walks back to her small living room, plopping back down on the sofa next to Lucas who has Puppy sat on his lap. She snuggles up to him and leans her head on his shoulder. "I didn't know we were going out to eat."
He smells like Lucas; aftershave, his shampoo and a hint of cigarettes. "I don't know what is up with you and as much as I would love to know what's bothering you I won't force you to tell me. But I do care about you and the least I can do is cheer you up," his voice caresses Hana with more care than an intimate touch would. She tilts her head to look at him, chin resting on his shoulder now as she gives him a small smile.
He returns it, his face the comfort she didn't know she needed this past week.
"And also because there's this new burger place that opened and I really want to try it."
Hana snorts at his continued sentence, he smiles along with her. It's then the doorbell rings again. Hana mirrors Lucas' confused face. "It's probably So, must've forgotten something."
Lucas nods. "Makes sense. You get that, I'm gonna go to the bathroom."
Hana nods in reply and as he disappears into the bathroom, she gets up to answer the door. Her feet shuffled across the floor and Puppy let's out a small bark at the absence of people.
The girl ignores it, she doesn't bother asking who it is or checking the peephole either. She opens the door, a reply ready on her tongue expecting it to be Soyoung but staggers when she comes face to face wore Jungkook.
He's dressed in black, head to toe and even the mask that bunches on his chin is black. He's wearing a bucket hat, making his eyes hooded. His lips twitch in an awkward smile before they purse awkwardly and he reaches to take off his hat with his free hand.
Hana supposes it should be somewhat normal to see Jungkook standing in front of him now. I mean, she saw him just last week right? How bizarre could it be seeing him again?
But still. The sight of Jungkook standing on her doorstep looking as homely as ever makes her heart clench and legs run cold. She thinks she might wobble on her own two feet if it wasn't for her holding on to the doorknob and while there's nothing she can physically do to stop the fast beat of her heart and the heating of her face, she tries her best to overcome the stutter on her lips and the wideness of her eyes.
It's then she notices a box in his hand. It's the size of a shoebox and Hana is sure it is one. It makes her confused, more than she already is and she makes sure her sentences are in line with her brain.
"Wh-what are you doing here?" She stumbles over her words, mouth dry from how it refuses to close.
"Um, hi. How are you?" Jungkook sheepishly answers and it's then Hana realises how rude it is of her to not even say a greeting to him. Maybe Soyoung is right; opportunities like these don't come often and she should be able to grasp them when they do.
"I'm a little confused and a little freaked out but overall I'm good." Her voice is just a little high in pitch. Her eyes can't stop his figure as a means of avoiding his eyes. She faintly notices the whiteness of his nails from holding on to the box with too much pressure, the almost unnoticeable tremble to his fingers when he reaches up to flick his hair out of his face. A normal person wouldn't notice these things but Hana has spent so much time with the boy that it isn't hard to pick up on his tiny quirks still.
"Wo-would you like to come in?" She clears her throat, forgetting about the company she already has inside.
"Uh no, thank you. I'm in a rush, I have a flight to catch and my members are already at the airport," he says softly, feet shuffling.
It now becomes clear to Hana why there were six members at the airport.
"I-I didn't want our second meeting to be like this and I know you probably don't want to see me so soon but I—" he hesitates for a second, "I couldn't not see you for another week. Honestly I don't know what I was thinking but I'm serious about wanting to be in your life again. I don't have much time or words to tell you what I feel but—" he extends the box to her, motioning for her to take it which she does, "I hope this helps."
Hana is silent. She doesn't say anything as her eyes glance up from the box to him. Her brain has yet to process his presence let alone what he is saying.
"I just want to make things okay. I don't know how, I'm just as lost as you are but I knew I couldn't leave without seeing you," he purses his lips and Hana notices the small dimpled indents that appear on his face. "I didn't want you thinking I had forgotten and I had to beg management to let me come here but I knew I had to."
"I'm—okay." She's a bit at a loss for words, "Thank you for coming even though I'm sure it must have caused trouble. I'll look at the, um, box."
Jungkook nods politely and Hana hears some cluttering around her house. At the back of her mind she knows Lucas could show up any second but her feet feel too heavy to move.
"I'll get going. I don't want to miss my flight," he takes a small step backwards, expression still awkward yet polite.
"Okay. I hope you have a good journey and you come back safely," Hana says to him. It's her hands that now tremble as she waves at him pathetically even though he's only a few steps away.
"Ah, thank you," Jungkook bows and it makes Hana awkwardly bows back. "Bye."
"It was good to see you," Hana can't stop the words from leaving her mouth softly. She realises that her mind has given up on her and her heart is controlling the words that leave her.
But Hana doesn't regret it when Jungkook smiles. It's a half grin, his eyes twinkle momentarily and his lips stretch back only for a moment before he's smiling at her. She feels her breath leave her in a whoosh and her eyes blink rapidly to push back her emotions because she missed him. She feels her heart clench again at the sight because it's one that used to bring her so much comfort and she longs for it again.
"I'll see you soon." And with that Jungkook disappears, she only hears the thudding of his shoes before she's closing the door. She feels as if her soul is disconnected and her movements are routine when she places the box on the coffee table in her living room.
"Was it Soyoung?" Hana's shoulders jump lightly at the sound of Lucas. He has a glass of water in his hand. "What took you both so long? I didn't want to interrupt."
She shakes her head lightly as if to shake away any stray thoughts. "Oh, she had my shoes and she dropped them off."
Lucas nods. "Well, should we get going?"
Although Hana's hands still trembled from Jungkook's presence and her fingers itched to open the box she knew now was not the time to do it. She had to push everything at the back of her mind like she's used to doing and focus on what was in front of her rather than what's behind her.
"Yeah, let me just get my phone."
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hi <3 whoever is still around u are the real MVP and I love and thank u for being so patient with my dumb ass.