You will fully bloom after all the hardships
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Firstly, how the hell do I get to Namsan tower? firmly I stop my feet from running at the side of the road when I noticed that the traffic was jammed
So so tight that I could already play subway surf with these vehicles, I again lost direction of the place as my adrenaline took the best of me. I need to see Yoongi, it's what Jimin wants for me.
A wish to know what I truly must do, knowing that I could break someone's heart, a single persons heartbreak could bring my guilt to it's highest peak
I'm hurting Jimin
Hurting him in a way I can't feel any response coming from my own heart, I am audible for my feelings towards Yoongi, but how about the people who I'm leading to disappointment?
Tae, Jimin, Jungkook, Jin
I've been a bad liar. And because of me tragedy runs across their hearts and minds. I know that I'm a hassle and burden but nothing can be changed
Stupid destiny
Placing both hands on my knees I attempt to catch my breath while looking all over from Seoul, it's starting to get cold again these days around
I glance at my side and see an ugly bully holding a bike, she looks at me and rolls her eyes, taking out a piece of cigarette she turns her back on me
A lightbulb lits on my head as I quickly tiptoed my way towards her, I take out a long piece of ribbon from my pocket, well fortunately I bought one with me.
I tie it carefully on her legs making sure she wouldn't feel it and tie the other side on the streetlight pole beside her, I laugh evily
I then tap her shoulder, and when she does I quickly push her to the ground and snatch her bike. She stands up and tires to jump at me but she was restricted by the ties on her feet.
I laugh "see you later bitch" I then pedal my way as fast as I could away from her. And when she's away from my beautiful eyes I look around and reconnect the places where I should turn and turn to arrive at my love's location
And when I do, I quickly pedal my way towards him, I know that I'm so happy inside but there's still that feeling of guilt pulling back the joy, how can I smile when someone else is in tears now?
Yes, I'm so inconsiderate when it comes to others
Longer minutes passed and I was already sweating like a faucet, my legs started to feel numb from the intense pedals coming from me. But I see it, I see Namsan tower
The wind slaps my cold skin making me shiver intensely as I jump off the bike and run as fast as I could towards him
Through the bigness of the place I continue to run and ask everyone and describe his features but I get nothing, my body feels so tired and limp as if it was going to shut down any second now
But I need to find him
And so it must have already been an hour while walking through the place without a single clue of him
My body gave up, slowly slumping down on the floor I wipe off my sweat. He probably left already so I guess fuck my effort and energy, fuck you Yoongi
"I can't feel my feet"
I lean against the wall while catching my breath, I think it's time, time to tell him about what I feel. I can't waste Jimin's tears for nothing
It's finally time to get that scorching feeling inside of me, how can I find him? I went to all of the places here except for... "the love locks"
My adrenaline rushes in as I jolted up and once again drain my energy as I once again run as fast as I could to that place
My body was giving up on me but I have to get to him and tell him how much he's affecting my insides.
I couldn't breathe anymore, my chest was heaving up and down in a violent way, I was feeling teary so much, tears were pleading and begging to come out of my eyes
I shut my eyes violently in attempt to prevent them from stopping me, my feet was aching as I see the destination that I've sacrificed for
And when I do I place a hand on my knee while trying to catch my breath, the coldness of the air was calling out to me when my eyes set upon my main priority
Yoongi
He was there, standing there at the cold night just as Jimin said, a single man that stood there with a scene that shattered my heart into a million of shards, paining my whole body and heart
Yoongi...Together with a girl
While limping my way towards a nearby bush I hide while massaging the area by my heart, I was close, so close to be caught and heard earlier
She was beautiful unlike me,
long and wavy hair, clear skin, and beautiful eyes. She was a goddess while I was trash. She was looking at Yoongi the way I gape at him
She was more devoted to him
Yoongi, he was staring at her eyes as well. But something was off not to be boastful. But he looked blank and soul less. The way he stood in front of her was so dull and weak
Eyes dead from all the agony and guilt, I shouldn't feel all assuming but he wasn't looking at her the way he looks at me
"Yoongi.." she breathes out enough for me to hear, desperately, she takes a hold of his hand which surprisingly he doesn't reject for
He was in love with someone else all this time?
It hurts so bad to think that we had something mutual between our hearts, but sadly it was only a kalopsia
I thought I was his only princess, his only flower in a garden, oh stupid me, have you seen a garden with only one flower?
"Yoongi..I've been wanting to tell you this for so long.." she shakingly pauses, I take a peek and see him in tears. he wasn't shaking, he wasn't making any sound just tears washing down to the floor
He was hurting but why? she leans closer and smiles forcefully at him "I love you.." finally I heard it.
It stung my heart so much, there she goes confessing her feelings to Yoongi while here I am being the choosy bitch that I really was.
I slam my hand on my naughty mouth as I feel tears rushing through my eyes down to my cheeks, I look back and see her
Leaning closer and closer I see with my bare eyes that their lips were meters apart, and Yoongi wasn't even stopping her
I had no want to see his lips connect with hers, and so I leave when I felt my heart suffocate with pain, anxiety attack hits me again as I overthink about what happened
Taehyung was right overthinking kills your happiness
this destroyed my happiness, and so I decided to walk back home in tears. Winter is almost coming I know it
I always do, on the coldness of nights to my greatest fears and pain resurface. And god damn how angry is the world at me now?
Rain started to pour all over the place making me cry more, my tears coming out isn't a usual sighting for anyone
I don't waste my tears for show, but when I feel that I can't take them anymore so I don't even try to stop them.
She loves him, he didn't deny her touch so who am I to feel this way? fckshit
I wipe my tears even though no one could see it through the droplets of the rain, my heart isn't at it's best once more.
Taehyung told me to not stress my self out since it's not good for my sensitive health issues but here I am depressing my self over a man
"Why does it hurt so much Yoongi?" I mutter while crouching down on the sides of the street while being soaked by the tempting rain
Sad to say but there's actually two persons going home crying this night. I'm sorry Jimin but it's like I still can't go back to him
He's happy with someone else
*HOOONKKKKK*
I fall on the cold wet floor when I heard a loud car's horn, I feel so cold and numb at the same time. The familiar pink car makes me sigh in oddness
As expected Jin comes out with his pink umbrella, "yona sweetie, let's go home. crying won't take you anywhere" he says before picking me up gently
I wish my mom was as caring as Jin is, look at him now; giving me a towel and wiping the wetness in my head as he lets me warm up in his pink and beloved car
He smiles at me "don't worry, time cures everything"