this song is by an AMAZING band, but it also encapsulates how i feel about you pretty well (this is a stripped version but lmk if you want the original version)
hi baby i love love love you
so it's your birthday,,, another year closer to death!
i don't think i've written a full-blown birthday essay. in the past, it's kind of just been short n cute birthday paragraphs, but just bear with me here. if it's bad, peas forgive me.
just a quick notif: i have revised & edited this a bunch, and i can confirm that there is NO romanticization whatsoeverrrrrr. everything here is 100% true (:
okay lettuce begin (:
ok so typically i'd also start with a brief history of our friendship. we met july 4, 2017. you were talking about dicks, and jesus, and jesus's dick, and your dick—which i think is a pretty accurate representation of how your personality was. no shade, lmao. maybe a little shade.
you kind of summed up the beginnings of our friendship. i never really thought it would escalate past the occasional "hello" and "omg ily" (it has escalated MUCH further than that). um, we entered into a convoluted friend group, where we kind of got closer (??), but stuff happened and we don't talk about the period of our relationship from august 2017 to june 2018. our relationship definitely had its ups and downs over the past two years, but i think it's made us stronger + i feel closer to you than ever before.
but all in all, you....are great? perfect? wondrous? insert many, many positive superlatives. you honestly feel like home to me. i've never met a person who makes me feel so much at ease and happy. you're one of the very few people who don't make me feel like i need to consciously pick and choose what i have to say, or create a half-true persona when i'm around them.
you're insanely smart. i have so much respect for the effort that you put into your school, your work, your writing. you constantly say that i put my all into what i do, but you work your ass just as hard. your future will be amazing—whatever you do, i know it will be, because you're so insanely determined and resourceful. you're gonna accomplish absolutely anything you want to. you're supportive, and funny, and caring towards the people that you love. you look out for me, and i honestly can't tell you how much it means to me when you check in on how i'm doing.
i know your friends have said some shit about you, but none of it is true. if anyone thinks it is, then they're just not as fortunate to know you as well as i do. i'd like to think i know you inside out (i'm lucky that i do), and you know what? i think you're a damn amazing girl. i've never met someone as beautiful, strong, and willful as you. i'm in awe of everything you do. thank god i have you in my life, because you have no idea how happy you've made me.
okay, cue the part where i talk about how gay i am for you
we're dating. like, DATING, man. i carrot believe we got to this point. holy. i don't know how i got so lucky with you. i'm literally whipped. back when we were just friends, and you would come online like once every three months, my heart would stop every time i saw you come online because i was so happy to talk to you. now that we're more than platonic and you come online every weekend, i figured i'd get more used to seeing your messages pop up on my phone. i guess not. my heart still stops every time i talk to you. i adore talking to you for five, six, seven hours. like i've said, being with you is easy for me. i don't get mentally drained talking to you (maybe a little physically drained when you keep me up till 4am, but i'd take time spent with you over sleep deprivation any day of the week).
you're earth-shatteringly stunning, and cute, and funny. i like your name. i like your eyes. i like your height (5'6 is the ideal height for my girlfriend). i like your mouth. i want to **** **** ***** ** ***. i like your hair, even when you got those frizzy ass bangs. i like your voice, and the small laugh you do. i like your strange obsession with the vampire diaries and takis and snickers ice cream. i like how you're so close with your mom, it's cute. i like your messy, judgy ass. i like your infatuation with blackbear (you're the one that got me into his music, actually). i like how you know so many people. i like when you think about me. i like every little thing about you.
i'm such a nerd—i sing christmas carols in a van that i've nicknamed "the mathmobile", and algebra puns make me fall out of my chair, and i make stupid vlogs that are 90% just to show you my life—and you're not a nerd at all, but somehow we work really well. one of these days, i'm gonna turnip in florida with chapstick on and a bouquet of flowers.
i can't think of a better person for me to be with. i love that i get to call you mine.
there's only a few downsides to dating you.
1) i hate that you live so far away, especially because i really want to kiss you. and do other things with you. wink wonk, babydoll.
2) you don't like the office. honestly, this is one of the biggest downsides to this whole thing. i'm not sure how i managed to date someone who doesn't appreciate the dynamics of dwight schrute and michael scott. this could legitimately become a problem in our future. we'll see where it takes us. i'd be a little concerned if i were you.
3) you monopolize my thoughts. ik you're quite fond of the fact, but it's a little hard to pay attention when i'm doing homework, or sitting in class, or taking the SATs, or trying to sleep, or in dance class, or like....anywhere.
not gonna romanticize and say that you're 'it' for me. i don't want to be naive or unrealistic. but now, honestly, i can't see anybody besides you being it for me. you're not only my girlfriend, but my best friend, and someone i feel like i've known for nearly my entire life.
i'm falling in love with you. i want us together for as many years as possible. maybe you are it for me, maybe you're not, i guess we'll see. but as of right now, i can honestly say that you're perfect for me.
this year is gonna bring so much happiness and great things for you, like every other year. happy birthday, baby. i love you so bad.
i hope this wasn't too sappy, lmfaooo. being corny doesn't come naturally to me. thanks for being the top in this relationship, babygirl (:
ICONIC QUOTES FROM VAL:
"gluten-free dick, bitch."
"i love you and the day you believe that is the day that no one can harm you in any way." (bruh this still makes me cry, i might get that tattooed on me).
"i like your face though, 10/10 on yelp."
"i'll make you yale tonight."
"pickle bash, let's smash." (actually that might have been me).
"i'd rather suck on other things."
omfg i literally can't think of anything else to say. i loooOOOOooOove you. i liiiIIIIiiIike you. i'm gaaaAAAAaaAay for you. this essay doesn't come close to expressing what i feel about you, but tbh i don't think anything can ever properly convey just how important you are to me or how strongly i feel about you. hopefully this comes somewhat close though.