Chapter Thirteen continued...
I wake up to a dimly lit room and stare up at the ceiling.
Early morning light is streaming in through panel like windows. And the rising sun's rays are reflecting shimmery patterns on to the walls and ceiling.
For a moment I'm discombobulated, and I've forgotten where I am. Then last night floods into my mind and then panic courses through me. The last time we'd fallen to sleep together she'd gone. Is she going be here next to me, or will she have left again?
I take a deep breath and turn my head. Her face is next to mine. Her dark hair is sprawled across the pillows and down her back. The white sheets are tangled around her naked body and she has a leg draped over my waist. Perhaps she'd thought I'd leave as well.
I'm afraid to move and wake her. This moment is perfect, and I want to watch her sleep. I can stare at her in peace without her intense gaze making my stomach do summersaults. And it's not weird if she doesn't know I'm doing it.
Her breath is quiet and even. She looks different when she sleeps. Expressionless, peaceful, and as beautiful as ever. Her face is flushed from sleep and her lips plump and pink. I want to kiss her.
So, I kiss her.
I press my lips to hers and gently part her mouth with my tongue. Her breathing changes and then her lips begin moving with mine. She slides her hands across my hips and hugs me close. I break this kiss and stare at her. She's smiling and I can't help but my smile back.
"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," I say.
She cringes and groans, "You're such a dork."
I roll my eyes. "Close your eyes."
She raises an eyebrow curiously but then closes them again. I lean in and kiss her again. Slower more sensual. I grab the thigh she'd thrown over me. I slide my leg between hers and pull her tight against me. Then message my leg against her. She moans in my mouth. My heart skips and the butterflies have lost their minds again. I drag my lips from hers. She's biting her lip and staring at my mouth.
"Hey," I say.
Her eyes meet mine and she smiles.
"Hey."
"Was that better?"
"Umm...?" She looks up and pretends to think hard. "The first one was you. The second was..." She releases a sultry breath and it hitches in her throat. "...also you."
I smile at her. I'd almost forgotten how smooth she is.
I can't remember the last time I woke up this happy. It's because I never have. And I shouldn't be feeling this way, because there's a girl only a deck below whose heart I have to break.
Ari touches my face. "Hey, what happened?"
I stare at her. Our conversation last night had made her upset. Can I tell her how confused I am? I'm happier, happier than I've ever been, but is it possible to be heartbroken at the same time? I don't want Ari to think I'm second-guessing us, but...Charli.
"You love her, don't you?" She asks.
Her eyes are distance and her brows are scrunched together. I've upset her again.
I don't quite know the answer to her question either. If I cared for Charli, then how could I have done this. I'm not playing the martyr. There's nothing accidental or innocent about this. I've done wrong. It's one of the worst things I've intentionally done to someone else.
I've chosen Ari over Charli and I've done it in the worse way possible. I should've waited, spoken to Charli first. In the moment, I'd only wanted not to lose another opportunity with Ari. So, I'd acted. Now I have to face the fall out of my actions.
She's watching me and waiting for my answer.
I wish I could tell her it was a summer fling. I wish I could tell Ari I haven't given away a piece of my heart. And I wish I could tell her that piece doesn't ache.
I stay silent while I decide if I should lie. I hate lying but Ari and I feel fragile. We're balanced on the cliff of disaster. I fear one push and we will fall and shatter. But if I've learned anything this summer, it's I need to stop overthinking and stop being so afraid.
"I love you more," I whisper.
She takes a sharp breath and looks down. She runs her hands along my neck and then her fingers trace the necklace hanging from a gold chain. I'd taken Ari's bracelet off.
"How could you move on so quickly?" She says.
"I..."
Did I move on? I'd found a way to begin filling the hole in my heart after she'd left. I wasn't the type of person to lay down and give up because she wasn't in my life. At least I wasn't before. After tonight, after I've had every part of her, the idea of her leaving me is terrifying.
"You moved on faster than I did," I say.
It's a defensive answer but wasn't she guilty of the same?
She narrows her eyes at me.
"Are you talking about Apollo?"
"Yes, who else would I be talking about?" I grumble.
My irritation with her is rising, it's irrational. I'm not an angry person but something about her turns my kitten into a tiger. We'd both fallen into someone else arms, but I can't stand thinking of her with Apollo.
"I saw you making out with him barely a day after breaking it off with me."
Her voice softens and she looks away.
"You saw that?"
"Yeah," I can't control the crack in my voice, and I close my eyes. All the emotions from the night are sweeping back in and I'm trying to get control of them.
She softly presses her lips to my forehead, then my closed eyes, and then my lips. My heart is hurting all over again, but I kiss her back. She maneuvers herself on top of me.
"Open your eyes."
I open them. She is smiling and her face is hovering above mine.
"I don't love Apollo. I wasn't completely myself that night, I was a bit manic. We were only making out because it was something to do in the moment."
I stare up at her. I hate to say it, but I don't know if I believe her. I love her, but she's by far the most manipulative person I've ever met. And she doesn't have the cleanest track record for being honest with me. Oh, and I have major trust issues.
"You don't believe me...again," She sits up and frowns at me.
Ugh, I've made another mistake.
Then she smiles, "I'll let it go this time, but only because you're adorable when you're jealous."
I relax. She's straddling my hips and the sheets have fallen from her body. She's also the sexiest and most seductive person I've ever met. My eyes roam over her bare skin. Why was I upset again? I can't remember what we were talking about. Our eyes meet. The heat from her stare is burning me up inside again. Then she smiles and begins to gyrate her hips.
She is dangerous. So so dangerous. Someone save me.
She brings her face down to mine but whispers above my lips.
"Believe me when I say..." She slides her hands between us and I gasp. "You have nothing to worry about."
"Okay," I breath out.
Ari could tell me the sky is purple and pigs could fly. I'd believe her then tweet about it and update my story.
Then she leans down and kisses me.
Just kidding, by the way.... I don't want to be saved.
There's a knock on the door.
I sit up and bringAri with me.
"Who is it?" I say but Ari says it at the same time.
We share a panicked look and I cover my mouth. Is there a chance whoever knocked didn't notice? I'm praying to all is good and holy guacamole it's not Charli.
"Apollo." A voice calls from behind the door. "On arrive au port une heure. Veux-tu prendre ton petit déjeuner au lit?" (We arrive at port in an hour. Do you want breakfast in bed?)
I only catch a few words, mainly bed. I don't want him anywhere near her bed.
"No!" I shout, but we both say it again at the same time. Me a bit more enthusiastically.
Ari snickers then covers my mouth with her hands.
"Non, merci!" Ari calls out. Then smiles slyly and stares pointedly at me. "Cinq minutes!" (Five minutes!)
"D'accord," He says.
We listen for his footsteps to fade. Then before I can say anything, she pushes me on to my back. Her lips and hands are already moving down my body.
As much as I want another five minutes as she'd cockily shouted at the door, I can't. Last night was one thing, but I'd like to be able to sleep tonight. We've been playing with fire. And it wasn't us about to get burned.
"I need time to figure things out with Charli first." I rush out.
Ari stops and abruptly sits up.
"Why?"
"Because Charli and I are seeing each other?"
Ari is brilliant but then she says something like that. She's not cruel, I think she honestly doesn't know why. I slide out from underneath her and place my feet on the solid floor.
"I want to end things properly before we continue..." I point at the bed and her naked on it. "...this."
I look around the small room for my clothes, but then remember I don't have any. The ones I have are covered in guacamole. We'd showered before bed but hadn't bothered getting dressed.
"But we already banged several times. What does one more time make a difference?"
I stare at her. She kind of has a point and logically she's correct. Not so much emotionally. And I finally understand the blind spots in her logic. It's interesting. She's a little too logical in her thinking.
"I have to face her in the next ten or fifteen minutes," I sigh. "Can I borrow some clothes?"
"Umm..." Her eyes graze over my body and she tilts her head. "I don't know..."
She is messing with me again and it's working. Blood is already rushing to my cheeks.
"Please," I whine.
"Okay, fine." She sighs.
Then she saunters over to her bag. She's purposely swaying her hips as she walks. I look up at the ceiling and resist the urge to watch her bending over her bag. Clothes hit my face and they smell like her. I grab the clothes she'd thrown at me and hurriedly put them on.
"Don't have sex with her, okay?"
"What?" I ask in disbelief. "I would never do that."
I glance at her as I dress. She's watching me and has her arms crossed in front of her chest. She doesn't look convinced.
I'm offended but then I remember...I'm untrustworthy. It sucks she even questions I'd do such a thing. I'd always considered myself a reliable and honest person. I wonder how long it will take to get back my credibility, even in her eyes.
I'm drowning in guilt, but I force my eyes to meet hers.
"I promise, I will not have sex with Charli."
TBC...chapter 13 continued.
So...Charli. I'm an evil author who made you feel things, but she has not been forgotten.