Jimin was again on the verge of leaving Taehyung's house but Yoongi showed up again in the exact moment he was packing, just like the last time. Jimin dragged his gaze to stare up at him with weary glazed-over eyes and slack mouth.
His eyes were somewhat droopy too and Yoongi could see just by locking eyes with the younger that he already knew what he wanted to say and that he probably didn't want to hear it too.
“Listen, Jimin-”
“Enough, I don't wanna hear it.” Jimin interrupted, his eyebrows shotting upward and for a second, he looked really enraged, but it disappeared just as fast as it showed up, and his eyes shifted to focus on the clothes in the suitcase once again.
“I have no interest interacting with someone who could at any moment threaten me like this. The more I stay with him, the crazier he becomes. Or maybe I was just so blind. Either ways, I'm done with his shit.”
There was a definitive tone to his words, a certain peremptoriness and decisiveness and Yoongi doubted he could dissuade him at that stage at all.
“I understand how you feel but he deserves a chance too, you know? Just give him a chance. I'm sure he'll apologize soon.” Yoongi said calmly, his voice was so soft and soothing and yet Jimin refused to look up at him, not until he felt Yoongi's hand on his shoulders but he just pushed his hands away. The action didn't stop Yoongi from resuming his tentative. “I know it isn't that obvious but he cares about you, okay?”
Jimin looked up at him and there was doubt in his eyes, but nevertheless, he seemed to be thinking his words over for a second.
The action made Yoongi gain a small ray of hope but then Jimin shrugged and resumed packing his suitecase, apparently unaffected with his words, thinking they weren't true in the slightest.
Jimin started to believe that giving so many chances to people doesn't usually fix anything, rather just encourage them to keep wronging you endlessly then expecting forgiveness, just as it happened to him countless times with Jungkook. And at the thought of Jungkook, and for a short moment of time, he almost promised himself to never forgive anyone ever again.
“Jimin,” A deep voice resonated in his ears and even though he wasn't even looking in his direction, he could easily sense it was Taehyung. He grew familiar with his voice, as deep as the pacific oceon, calm and eerie, dark and myterious.
It all made his voice memorable, and Jimin didn't doubt that whoever heard it grew to never forget it again. But currently none of this mattered, and Jimin refused to look at him for he didn't know what expression he'd see on his face, not to mention he didn't feel he had the emotional strengh to face him again so soon.
Jimin expected their conversation would only result in a fight again, but Taehyung uttered words he found unpredictable, that he didn't know whether he should believe them or not. “I'm sorry for what I've said and done, it wasn't my purpose to hurt you.”
Jimin even when he was trying hard not to show any extreme reaction, couldn't help but look up at Taehyung's face, stare into his eyes as if searching for the truth in there, whether Taehyung really meant his words or not, whether it was only Yoongi convincing him or if it was upcoming from his own mind.
Either ways, Jimin couldn't conclude anything no matter how hard he stared, which wasn't a surprise for Taehyung was the real definition of a man without a soul, when you look inside his eyes, all you see is nothingness, void.
His eyes were lifeless and glossy, one could easily mistake it for expertise or wiseness, but it wouldn't feel that strange or menacing until you know what lied behind those eyes, the atrocity they saw, the cruelty they committed and the insanity they embraced under their shades of dark brown.
“I don't believe it,” Jimin muttered as he stood from the ground to walk until he was as close to Taehyung it was possible to get, and he looked up to lock eyes with him, angry irises meeting freezing cold ones, just like fire and water, so polarly opposites that one was meant to exterminate the other.
There was a certain hardness in Jimin's eyes Taehyung found hard to ignore, and to be honest, it was rare of him to ever feel but he felt Jimin's hot burning gaze pierce through his soul, melting his block ice feelings and the first thing that came to life, that he felt so distinctively was guilt.
It was a burning feeling, just like Jimin's gaze, it was scalding and he remembered why he hated to feel so much.
But then again, he didn't exactly hate it, for everything about Jimin was warm, his hands, his words, his voice, his touch, his addictive sweet smell, his smile, his lips, his laugh, his golden soft skin, the colors in his face when he was either happy or sad and the shade of his honey pot eyes.
All in all, it melted the ice meteors in his soul, combined his galaxies in well ordered constellations, it melded his glacier islands onto the sea and interfused with his freezing cold nature to perfection. It made him feel complete. Jimin seemed to fill all of the gaping holes in his heart, his mind and his soul with his sunshine heavely warmth.
Jimin was the only one to cure him out of his paralysis in the feelings department and even if he hated to admit it, him able to feel for Jimin only resulted in him caring about him, he cared for him so much he could almost name it love but he didn't know what love was.
No one had ever loved him, not even his own parents and he grew to love the hatred he received from people, he grew to even cause it and look for it. He despised everyone and he wanted everyone to despise him just the same.
Except for Jimin, he couldn't imagine the latter hating him no matter the reason, for it meant the sun would again eclipse forever from his world, that warmth would be something he'd barely even recall how it feels. But Jimin getting mad made it all get too hot that the warmth turned destructive, damaging and deleterious. One should never get too close to the sun.
“You just denied having done anything wrong at all to me so how come you apologize so suddenly, huh? If you don't really feel it then I don't want it.” Jimin said and his words sounded just as hard and severe as his eyes.
Taehyung found it hard to react as well, for he felt guilty but it didn't mean he could deal with this type of questions. He just wanted Jimin to forgive him but he didn't know what he was supposed to say to make it happen.
“I was just being an asshole. I knew what I did was wrong but I didn't know how much it did hurt you. I'm really sorry.” Taehyung apologized again and Jimin squinted his eyes.
It could be confusion, doubt or surprise, Jimin himslef couldn't tell how he felt but it was still something hard to believe anyways. Taehyung apologizing was something he thought he wouldn't live to see but it happened too soon. It also seemed honest but he was still a bit doubtful.
“And why would you be an asshole if you know you're wrong? Like, when did you fucking realize it actually did hurt me, just now?” Jimin asked sarcastically as he shifted his gaze to cast a look at Yoongi, who sat on the chair and seemed to just watch them with worried eyes.
He nodded to him when they locked eyes and Jimin wasn't sure what he meant but he assumed it was a sign that he was doing the right thing, or maybe not. “Or do you apologize based on the degree of damage? Like if he's not too upset then I'll just act as if nothing happened.”
“I usually don't apologize at all,” Taehyung replied bluntly and somehow the words stung disgustingly to Jimin's ears. Well, he wanted honesty so here it was, as honest as one could get.
It gave him enough certainty to think Taehyung was honest and he seemed to subconsciously believe him but he still wanted to push him to the limits. He wished to see how far Taehyung would get to prove to him that he was honest, a sort of revenge for how shitty Taehyung had made him feel. “it's like the first time in ages so I don't know the answer to your quest-”
“I don't fucking care about that,” Jimin interrupted with a shrug, his eyes still just as harsh and Taehyung started to believe he won't forgive him at all. Something he didn't expect for Jimin was about to forgive him out of his own will just a few minutes before, but a few words could flip everything upside down seemingly.
Taehyung scoffed under his breaths, feelings made everything tenfolds more complicated. “I asked a question, answer it. If you can't, I'm sorry to tell you I have more important things to do.”
Jimin held his bag on his back and stood still in front of Taehyung, he counted ten in his head and when Taehyung didn't say anything, he proceeded to stroll towards the exit door.
Taehyung's eyes widened at the action, for he didn't even for a second believe Jimin would actually try to leave. He seemed to only realize at that moment that it was more serious than he initially perceived it to be. In his few moments of thoughts, Jimin was already in the act of opening the door.
Taehyung didn't even think for half a second before he hastened to the exit and grabbed Jimin's arm in a firm grip. Jimin gave him a look of ‘what the fuck you think you're doing’ but Taehyung ignored it as he got closer to his face, until his eyes were eye level with Jimin who was still looking just as confused.
“You remember what I said?” Taehyung muttered and Jimin shook his head. But he could feel Taehyung's breaths against his face, hot and minty. And his eyes stared deep into his own that he suddenly couldn't focus on anything but on them, but on the perfectly handsome face just a few inches away of his own.
He was so close that he could even smell him, and even when he wouldn't admit it, the position made him feel weak. “I'd never let you go.”
Jimin didn't even resist when he felt Taehyung's soft lips press against his own.
13.07.20