Of course I didn't want to go back. Any reasonable person wouldn't. I wasn't even summoned this time—Jack and I seemed to silently agree that the only way to fix all of this was to deal with the devil. Whether Chernobog had been behind this or not was still up for speculation, though Vickson's comment about "planning another message" told me all I needed to know. I'd started cursing his name for every little inconvenience, every tiny trial I endured because of my blindness. I'd started calling him boss. The word held every ounce of bitterness for me as it did Jack, and I wasn't exactly wrong in calling him that; I'd been his dutiful employee for a good few months, from working alongside Nyx...
Oh, god. I wasn't ready to start thinking about her again.
The point is, we ended up going back anyway. Straight back to the realm, and straight to Jack's boss himself. As weak as I'd become over the past several days, we were both prepared to kick his ass if and when this all went downhill. At least, prepared as we could have possibly been. Jack needed to creep around in complete darkness to get to the park—some part of me wondered if he would ever get his human disguise back again—and I needed to be guided around, a fact that struck me shamefully and sent me into a tiny spiral when I realized it. I still hadn't gone outside more than two times since the "accident."
We came to another compromise; he would guide me there, and I would stay in the shadows with him.
"What if..." I mused over cold canned soup, drumming my fingers on my chin. "...I went out, bought a water gun from some nondescript store and stormed the realm myself?"
Jack snorted. "Good one." He paused. "You finished with that? You've been staring at it for, like, five minutes now—"
"No, wait a second. Hear me out. I mean, your boss would kind of have no choice but to do what we said...? Y'know, fight fire with fire. Violence is the only language people understand," I said in a dramatic moan, holding out my arms before me like a tormented Shakesperian hero. He sighed and tapped the empty Campbell's can.
"We throwing this out?"
"Uh—recycle," I answered after a moment's hesitation. "And don't try to tell me it wouldn't work. Water is like some forbidden, end-all-be-all weapon there, right? Last time I used it against him, he—"
"Escaped?" Jack pulled up a chair beside me to sit down. "I think you're forgetting he can travel through walls. Who's to say he won't just run away again?"
I muttered curses into my arm resting on the table, the words grinding up and mixing with each other in my mouth until they turned into an incoherent stew. With one final scoff, I said, "Just crush my dreams, why don't you."
He clicked his tongue, kissed me on the cheek and stood up. "Hey. We're going to be fine, okay? He might not even try anything this time." He gently lifted my chin, but didn't turn my face towards him.
"And if he does, you know what we're gonna do?"
I gave in to a tiny smirk. "Haul his ass?"
"Bingo. Ready when you are," he said with a pat on the back as he walked to the door.
All the way to the realm, naturally, I became conscious of how vulnerable I was. Very conscious. Branches grazed my arms, barely protected as they were, and I'd shrink into myself a tiny bit more each time. Jack always reached to comfort me, but words seemed to fail him at this point. There was nothing more to say; and he could tell I didn't like repeats.
We finally reached the clean circles of ash marking the realm's entrance. Hot air blasted up from around my feet and seemed to be trying to ward me off. This typical drying-off process had, ironically, never felt like the warmest welcome to me. But even now, it seemed crueler. More hostile. You're not wanted here, it said.
Like I don't know that, dipshit, I said back in my head.
As we walked further and further, out of the humans' forest and into the demons' realm, I knew Jack had started to realize with me that I was in far more danger here than before. It was just beginning to sink in, the reality coming down hard like a blanket of stinging snow as I heard a couple jeers from either side of me. We kept walking. Jack shifted his hand on my shoulder as if to reaffirm he was there.
"Don't worry. Anyone who touches you is getting their soul punched out of their body."
"Back so soon?"
I gritted my teeth and turned my head the other way as Vickson so bravely approached us. Jack didn't bother to hide the growl prying its way up his throat, and the demon giggled without a care in the world.
"Hold on now, young man, hold on. No need for such animosity, no, I simply wanted to say hello—"
"You've said it, now go back to the hole you crawled out of—"
"Jack! I'd expected those kinds of words from your rude little pet, but you?" Vick's voice deepened and slithered through my ears, booming in my head like a certain other invasive demon I knew.
"Now that boss is out for your little Sawyer's blood—"
Something wispy hooked around my ankle and I kicked it away with such force that for a moment I was afraid I'd trip over myself. I scowled; the voice ebbed away as if in amused reaction.
"I'm going to fucking kill you," I mumbled under my breath.
"What was that?"
"I said you'll never leave me alone, will you?"
My teeth stayed clenched for a good thirty seconds, all throughout Vick's fading laughter and Jack's hushed assurances that they would, indeed, get a proper soul-punching later. Right now, we needed to focus—even if it meant neglecting Vickson the demon's astounding need to be given what-for.
We reached a corner. The corner; the one that Jack had turned and followed Chernobog's little pests into a dark, cold, lifeless hall. More lifeless than everything else here, anyway. Though I couldn't exactly see it now, I could feel its daunting presence, that same gut-wrenching feeling I got while walking down it before. Or maybe that was just my own familiar sense of fear kicking in.
Either way, I was starting to be led again.
I held my hand out behind me for Jack to take while I listened to the distant whispers growing in my mind. There were no words, at least, not that I could make out. But there were senses. Hushed, urgent little sounds that nudged me in one direction, then another, until I was walking steadily along a line on which they evened out. Every now and then my hand would start to slip, and Jack held on tightly like I would drop into the darkness if he let go for a second. Like he would lose me for good.
Of course, I knew those little whispers were just his boss. He knew I was here. He knew when and how and why, he knew everything. He was just guiding me to the lion's den to deal with me easier, and for once, I didn't care. If it got all this over with, who was I to complain?
As Jack and I entered the empty side room and came to a stop, something hissed behind us. It was akin to a cymbal swoosh, interrupted once or twice by the sound of crumbling stone. It was like the very walls were being bent, morphed, pulled shut at the seams...
"Shit."
Jack let go of my hand but didn't move otherwise. "Of course he's sealing us in," he grumbled.
Before anything else could happen and disrupt his sense of menace, the demon spoke.
"So you've decided to come back."
I instinctively flinched away from the voice, though there really wasn't anywhere I could go since it was echoing in my mind. I mustered a glare at the empty space before me. I wanted to talk back, say something, anything. But nothing reached me. This was purely business, after all; there was nothing I had to say right now that wouldn't get me killed. An ass-kicking would only ensue, started by Jack and I, if Chernobog pulled something completely unfair like he usually did and we had no choice but to fight back. Otherwise, my eyesight...
"Good as gone, I'd say, human."
I choked on a breath, realizing I'd thought all of that on surface level and made myself susceptible to his bullshit mind-reading tricks. I clenched my teeth.
"If you could spare me a little privacy, actually, that'd be great—"
"You would do well to listen." Chernobog's voice leaked out of my mind and into the physical world, flaking and splitting off as if the thousands of voices that made up his one were now able to speak separately.
"We were under this impression of sorts—silly, we'll admit. Immature. But we happened to fall under it—that our intended message to you had come through clearly."
"And yet," said another individual voice of his, so close to my ear that I startled, "here we are. Back in the realm. Where you do not belong."
He was scolding me. Treating me like some mixed-up kid who'd acted out during recess, he was acting like he was my parent. I suddenly understood every bit of patronized rage Jack felt toward him; this was humiliating. It was frustrating. I knew that as long as he kept speaking like this he would never feel like he had to take me seriously. I knew he knew that, too, and I knew it was why he was doing this.
"Why are you so resilient? You humans treat such disrespect, such disruption as if it were a good thing. I'm sorry to be the one to inform you that it is not. You, Sawyer Rafael, as you so call yourself, are a distraction. A flaw. And you expect us to welcome—"
"Cheater."
I yelped and stumbled backward, catching myself on Jack's arm. He rested a hand on mine, confusion and concern evident in his voice.
"Sawyer?"
"I—w-wait, didn't you hear that...?" It took much more effort now to keep myself from stuttering. As soon as it had left, the voice came back, venomous and scathing.
"I'll have to admit, you certainly gave us a scare. But that's nothing compared with what we'll do to you as soon as the Highest—"
"Stop it, stop it!" I let go of Jack and slammed my hands over my ears in a futile attempt to block it out. To my surprise, the voice was cut off, and Jack turned back to his boss with anger trembling through his words.
"You. Whatever you're doing to her, knock it off—"
"As if I would indulge in such pettiness now," the collective Chernobog said, genuinely insulted. "In case you haven't noticed, Jack, your friend has managed to make a few enemies since she's shown herself here. How absence makes the heart grow fonder..."
"We know all about your little trick. That cheap spell, a mere shield to keep us afraid and at bay—he should have known better than to trust any human enough to—"
"That will be all," Chernobog interrupted with a dangerous growl. As soon as they'd even started to paint my "little trick" as his fault, his tone shifted from light and mocking to sharp and cold. The other demon's voice went away again, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"In that case," he continued in a lazy drawl, "why bother coming back here at all...? Oh—oh, no." Instead of worried or annoyed, he sounded amused. "You still cannot see."
"Yeah, no shit I can't!" I was finally starting to crack. My hands curled into fists, nails digging into the folds in my palm as I tried to contain myself. "You know, we kind of came here in peace. We were going to see if maybe you could help me get my sight back? And then we'd be out of your hair for good! You wouldn't have to worry about me ruining your perfect system anymore, or whatever it is I'm 'disrupting,' whatever it is you're so obsessed with."
"You'll learn to live with it," Chernobog spat. I'd already managed to strike a nerve with him, and I hadn't even gotten the one thing I needed yet. "Allow it to serve as a reminder. How differently would have things gone, had you not meddled in what did not concern you? If you hadn't tried to mix our magic with that pathetic game you call science?" I could almost see him sneering down at us as the voice lifted itself, resting once more about two feet beside me.
"Or better yet," he growled, "if you hadn't let her escape."
Jack seethed. "Oh, so this is all my fault again?! Actually..." He scoffed and snapped his fingers, cooling down dangerously fast. I knew he'd explode at some point; he was just trying to delay it. A risky practice for somebody like him.
"You know what, I should've expected this. Someway, somehow, you always manage to trace everything back to me. No, no, it's funny. It's hilarious. I-I mean, you expect me to care that I haven't gotten my kills up."
I heard him take a step forward, then another.
"You expect me to give one honest, flying fuck that I let Sawyer slip that first night. You expect me to want to finish the job, you expect me to...oh, god, you really don't get it."
"I understand perfectly well why—"
"You expect me to follow your rules! Well, guess what, pops? I'm not killing somebody I love! I thought that'd be a no-brainer to something like you, all high and mighty yourself..."
"Somebody you love?"
Chernobog sounded scandalized. Outraged. Jack scoffed again, like the fate of my life was the most casual thing in the world.
"Uh, yeah. We love each other. Did you not hear me right?" He let out a dramatic gasp, and I had the feeling he was cupping both hands over his mouth in mockery. "Is that a bad word? Love? Must be to you."
"All this time, we thought you were simply acting in insolence. Rebellion. But...this? This is a great offense, not only to us, but to—"
"Like I give a shit. I did whatever I did, for whatever reason, I don't care anymore. Just help her. Be fair. I realize that's asking a lot," he said scathingly, "but I kind of need it this time."
The room fell silent. After a moment, something whirred in the background, something small but ubiquitous. Like the locust-swarm of a laugh that Chernobog's pieces had released back in the realm's clearing. It was like different parts of him were planning. Conspiring. Boiling over.
"I ought to end your life, boy."
The whirring grew louder, as if he were winding up to strike.
"Right here, right now."
"Uh, I'm sure that'd be nice, but for Christ's sake just help her out. Maybe you'll make some revenue off of it." Jack chuckled to himself. "Our lord and savior, the great Chernobog, world-renowned philanthropist! All these demons come flocking—'uh, sir, could you heal my son?' 'Excuse me, sir, is it true that you're a decent person now?' God, boss, just think of the possibilities, would you?"
"Jack."
He shut up as soon as I started talking again. Both of them did; the whirring came to an abrupt halt. I held my arms and narrowed my eyes at the floor.
"Let me handle this, please."
I could almost hear boss's half-satisfied, half-impressed line of thought: Wow. She got him to stop talking. Something in me prayed that that would be enough for him to be willing to help me. Or maybe I was jinxing myself just by thinking of it; after all, out of pure spite, who was to say he wouldn't just dismiss us right then and there?
"At least you're able to talk some sense into him," he muttered begrudgingly. Another moment passed, and he sighed. "Very well. Those irritating things have had their fun. Let us see what I can do."
Something coiled around my wrist like feathery ribbon.
"Step forward, human."
My stomach churned and I jerked my hand away.
"Wait." I paused, wishing for some sort of change in the air to let me know if he was telling the truth. "You're being serious, right? This isn't some trick to get me to give you something, you...you can actually fix this?"
"Of course. There is always a way to undo what is done...for a price," he added gravely. Before I could respond, Jack muffled his laughter with a hand.
"Oh—oh, okay. I see what's happening."
"You would do well to keep quiet, sonur minn—"
"No. Hold on one second, I asked you to be fair. She's not pledging her soul to you, or giving you a lock of her hair, or whatever kind of shit you're asking, none of that. You're going to give her her sight back, and we'll just be on our way—"
"Hush, child! This does not involve you."
Despite everything Jack was saying, I stepped forward, my heart in my throat. "Okay. What do I have to give?"
One of Chernobog's demonic wisps began to speak, but Jack yelled over them.
"This isn't fair! It was one of your kind that blinded her, not some little human accident! She shouldn't have to give anything just to see again."
"Jack, really, it's okay—"
"No. It's not. These demons, all they do is take. They've taken so much from you, from me, I'm not going to stand here and do nothing while they talk about their bullshit prices, trying to reel you in!"
"Jack!"
"What? It's true. The only reason old boss hasn't incinerated me yet is because he needs me." I had a feeling one of his twisted, on-the-edge smiles was starting to cross his face right about now. I reached forward and by pure luck was able to grab his arm.
"Listen, I'm just as angry as you are. But it's either this or I don't get my sight back at all. I know how rich this is coming from me, but please don't fight him. Not now. It won't make things any better."
"If you are done with your couples' squabble, I don't have all day to fix you." Something of a greedy smile was creeping into Chernobog's voice, making me ever so wary of him. Still, I looked ahead and took one step forward.
Cold mist swirled around my ankles and at my fingertips—a strange occurrence for a dry-as-bone place like this. I furrowed my brow. Something seemed to be pulling me along, ushering me onward to Chernobog with the gentle touch of a mother. For some reason, I had the feeling it wasn't even him doing this. Maybe it was an outside spell. Maybe he'd detached parts of himself again and was using them as appendages to draw me in.
"If you try anything funny, I swear to—"
"Quiet." He cut Jack off and started pulling with more force. I stood my ground once a good few seconds had passed, because I felt something just barely start to burn my feet. I took a step back.
"Hold on. I think that's close enough, what are you trying to—"
"Perfect."
—
I couldn't guess how much time had passed when I woke up, but based on the painful ringing in my ears, Jack had been chewing his boss out for a while now.
"I knew it! I knew something would happen if I let her go ten feet from me, I told her not to trust you—"
"And what, pray tell, do you think I'm doing that's so horrible?"
"I don't think, I know. I-I know you were going to try and take her soul, you've wanted me to get rid of her for months—"
"Then I'd like to think I am doing you a favor. Isn't it exhausting, dragging this pathetic thing around like an animal...?"
Something lifted my hand and uncurled my fist, batting it around in the air as if trying to make me look alive. My palms were greeted by cool, refreshing air, and I numbly realized how long I'd kept them closed. Chernobog's voice was gentle but loud, collected but booming in my ears. I had a feeling when the pounding in my head stopped, I would hear them both regularly again.
What happened?
"You are one sick motherfucker, you know that?" Jack was almost laughing, his voice now clear as day. "I—okay. Okay, I'm done. The second she wakes up, I'm taking her out of here and we're never coming back. You're gonna leave us alone, you won't look at her again or so help me—"
"Then I wish you luck in leaving, my dear boy. In case you've forgotten..."
"What just happened?"
I took his pause as a chance to speak. My voice was weak and husky. I lifted, with difficulty, one hand to my chest and managed to find a rip in the fabric of my shirt.
There was a cleanly punctured hole through there. My heart felt like it was burning, the patch of skin exposed was soft and stung when I touched it.
"Sawyer!"
Jack rushed over to help me up. I winced as he lifted me by the arms—that tiny spot on my chest seemed to rip me in half when I moved. I tore myself away and collapsed on the floor again.
"Stop. It—it hurts."
"I'm sorry, you have to get up." His voice was on the verge of breaking, and he frantically gathered me in his arms when it became clear I wasn't moving. "We're leaving. Now."
"But wh-what about my—"
"Now. He tricked you again, Sawyer. It's all he does. We shouldn't have come here." He sucked in a breath between his teeth as he tried to hoist me up, but I found his hands and pried them off.
"N-no. I still need to—Jack, please. If we never come back, I can't—"
"She's right, Jack," Chernobog singsonged. "If you never come back, I can never undo the damage done by—"
"Oh, shut up," Jack snarled. "By you? Is that what you were going to say? Might as well spit out one truthful thing a day, you could make it into a hobby."
"And I don't need you to help me argue with him," I added. "You're still a cheating asshole. I know you're not going to help me. I'll just find someone who will."
The room remained silent as I shakily got to my feet, biting the inside of my cheek and struggling to ignore the sharp jabs of pain beside my heart.
My soul.
He tried to take it.
"It's always the same with you," Jack said disbelievingly. He drew in one slow breath. "When it's not killing her, it's using her. You try every chance you get, like you think it'll be so easy to swindle her, like you think she belongs with—with your kind!"
"My kind?" The question was plain and impartial, like he was simply waiting for Jack to stop talking.
"Yeah! Y'know, the embodiment of evil? Demons? Maybe some poor asshole in the same town would belong to you, but not Sawyer. If she died right now, you still wouldn't get her. Because she's a good person."
Chernobog laughed. "And you think that matters?"
"I do now! You know, someday you'll get your comeuppance for manipulating all those people, owning them, thinking maybe if I just get my body count up you'll have all these brand-new slaves to do your bidding. You think everybody in the world is evil. You're the reason I kept hiding my face after..."
He seemed to choke on his own words, but picked up quicker than I expected him to. His anger was carrying him over.
"You told me nobody would love me because of what I'd become. You—you said it was because of my face, the tar, my eyes. But people aren't really that cruel."
"And so you think if you revealed your true face to those...friends of hers, that they would not be frightened?"
"They would be! Because they'd know me by that stupid name, 'Eyeless,' they'd know what I do to survive because of that dumb story. They'd be scared because I'm a murderer!"
That word rang in a perpetual echo throughout the room, forcing all three of us to acknowledge its presence. There was a beat of silence before Jack's hand found mine, grabbing on tight.
"And Sawyer's never been scared of me," he said in a dangerously soft voice. "You were wrong about my story. I told her everything, everything that you said would scare her away, and she didn't even blink. She tried to help me. If she was ever scared, it's because of the idea you planted in her head that I would hurt her someday. And I can promise you, boss, that's not going to happen. Not now. Not anytime soon."