Katsuki's POV:
We're walking out of the restaurant when some man with light blue-ish hair walks by. I freeze. It looks like Shigaraki. We don't see his face, and he has a hoodie on. I mean it is October, so it is kind of cold, but I start freaking out. Should I attack? Do I wait for him to turn around? Do I run? If he gets me again, I don't think I'd be able to handle it.
He did things to me. I don't want to think about them. Shoto notices and stares at the guy too. Waiting for him to turn around. He yells "HEY!" The guy turns around and Todoroki lets out a sigh of relief. I'm shaking at this point. I need to get out of here. What if he finds me?
I start running. Just running. Away from the restaurant, the guy, Todoroki, everything. My breathing is heavy and shaky. I feel like I'm about to pass out. When I start seeing my house, I stop. I hear running behind me and I start freaking out. I turn around quickly, only to be met with a tired Todoroki.
"Hey what's wrong? I tried calling your name, but I don't think you heard me." I'm still breathing hard and shaky. He notices. "Hey hey, calm down. It's okay, it wasn't Shigaraki. He's not here. You're okay," he says. He goes to touch my shoulder, but I flinch at the sudden contact. Don't touch me. Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me. That's all I can think.
His words didn't help me. He could find me. He could easily take me again. It's only a matter of time. He wouldn't just let me walk around. Knowing what he did. I start hyperventilating. It's a full-on panic attack. I can't breathe. My chest feels tight. I don't have time to worry about Shoto seeing me like this. I fall to the floor, trying to get away from him. I don't want him to touch me.
"Don't touch me, get away from me. Don't touch me, get away from me. Don't touch me, get away from me." I whisper over and over. At this point I'm only dragging my butt on the floor pushing myself away from Shoto. I can't deal with this right now.
Today wasn't supposed to go like this. It was supposed to be like every other day. A day where no one knew anything about my problems. Shoto stays still, but he's trying to calm me down. He's whispering, "Hey, Katsuki, it's okay. I promise. Nothing is going to happen right now. I'm here."
I stop trying to get away from him, but I'm still breathing hard. I start crying. Tears are streaming down my face. My chest feels like it's burning. He crouches down. "Hey is it okay if I hug you?" I look at him, still breathing hard. I nod. He pulls me into his lap and puts my head in his chest. "Take deep breaths, I got you. It's okay. I got you," he says. I start listening to him. "Here breathe with me," he says.
He takes one deep breath, and exhales deeply. He does it a few times and I start following his actions. I haven't had a panic attack like that in a couple of weeks. They're more spread out now. I have small ones often, but not as big as this. He smells really good. My face is in his chest, and his is in my hair. When I calm down, I pull away. Looking away from him. Embarrassment. Cry baby. Attention-seeker. Loser. Weak.
My eyes are probably redder than a tomato. When I look back at him, I see that his shirt is dirty. Fuck, the damn make-up. "I'm so sorry, here I can help, I have wipes in my backpack," I say. I rush to him and take the wipes out. I go to clean the smudges when he grabs my arm. My right arm.
I look at him and he looks shocked but worried. Crap, he's going to ask a lot of questions. More questions. I pull my hand back. "I'm sorry, I just dirtied your shirt and blazer. Let me help you clean it." He looks speechless from the panic attack before.
I look away and he says, "Katsuki, it's okay. But you're not. What happened just now, don't act like it was nothing. That wasn't just a small thing. You were freaking out. What happened when they took you?" I freeze. I swallow hard and focus my breathing. He notices so he quickly adds, "Hey, no, it's okay. You don't have to tell me what happened with Shigaraki. Just tell me how you're doing."
I think he actually cares. Maybe he's just being nice. I don't have the energy to fake anything right now. That panic attack really drained me. "I'm doing okay I guess. I'm alive still. So it's not bad." How do I even answer that question without telling him about anything? He can't find out that I'm cutting, or that I don't eat, or that I get beat by my mom everyday. I gasp. My mom! "What time is it?" I ask quickly. He takes out his phone. "Wow it's already 7:49." Crap I'm supposed to clean the house after school! She always leaves a mess, so it takes long.
"Crap, I have to get home!" I rush to pick up my bag. "I'm really sorry about your shirt. Here are some wipes," I say, handing him some wipes. "Hey calm down, I'm pretty sure it's okay if you stay a little longer." I really can't. It's not okay. If I don't do this, I won't be able to go to the sleepover tomorrow and I'll get a beating. "I really can't, Shoto." He smiles at the use of his name. "Okay but we'll be talking tomorrow." I run to my house when he turns around.
When I get home, which is not that far, I turn on the lights and start cleaning. All this fast movement, is causing my blazer to rub against my fresh cuts. It burns. I quickly take my stuff up to my room and change my shirt only because that's all I have time for. I run back downstairs and continue cleaning. I'm done with the hallways, living room, and the rooms. I just need the kitchen. It's 9:00. Crap. Just hurry. The kitchen is the hardest. There are bottles and vomit on the floor. The vomit is dried and there are beer puddles dried up on the hardwood.
I finish and look at the time. It's 10:08. I try to run upstairs before my mother gets here.
It doesn't go well.
She opens the door angrily as I'm halfway up the stairs. She spots me and starts yelling. "You just finished?! What took you so long? Did you get lazy?!" I turn around. "Get down here right now!" I start walking down the stairs slowly.
She punches me in the face. Crap I'm going to have a bruise. She continues by pushing me to the floor. Once I'm down, she starts kicking me. She kicks me so hard, but I don't make any noise. Well that is until I feel a sharp pain and I hear a crack. I let out a loud shriek. My chest is on fire. I'm coughing blood now and she stops. I remember about the sleepover tomorrow. And as she's walking away I speak up. "Hey mother. Izuku is having a sleepover tomorrow. If I go, no one will suspect anything. Can I go?" It hurts to even breathe, let alone talk.
She turns around angrily and yells, "Yes but don't screw anything up you dumbass! If anyone finds out, I will kill you." She goes upstairs into her room, the furthest from mine, and slams her door. I'm in too much pain to move, so I fall asleep there.
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Word Count: 1,340
Omg I'm so happy. It's crazy how many reads I have. This is a special update because I don't have school today. I will still update tomorrow and Thursday. Thank you so much for reading. Ahhhhhhhhh!!! <3