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"I honestly can't wait to get home!" My excitement peaked to the roof when Max was finally seated in the drivers seat and was ready to go, " You took like three hours to pack!" It was a relief that he was finally done because I had thought he was going to take the whole day and I was a very impatient person.
"Sorry," he mumbles not once turning to look towards me. His mood was off since morning and I had no idea why, hopefully it wasn't because the kiss was such a turnoff. I nibble my lips at the thought, what if it actually was?
"Max whats wrong?" I needed to know. I didn't like bottling up my feelings.
"Nothing, its just castle stuff back home," his head rests on the steering wheel and he turns around to look at me. At least it wasn't because the kiss was a turnoff.
"Im sorry Hales can you please go over to John's car? Its just Im in a really bad mood and I don't want to inflict it on you," I hated that I was being moved around like some luggage instead of being involved.
"I'm not a luggage," I cross my arms in front of me and refuse to look at him.
"Thats not what I mea- Hales please just please give me some space... please?" I look at him in utter shock when his voice rises up a few notches. How dare he raise his voice at me, who the heck did he think he is?
"You can ask politely!" I place my bag back on my back and look at him one more time.
"I did, you just think the world evolves around you," he flinches and is about to apologise but I quickly get out of the car because that was inconsiderate considering I didn't even do anything and was just trying to understand what his problem was. Thats the thing with men once they kiss you or sleep with you, you are just another name crossed off the list, worthless and unvalued. I was probably just another name on his list of a path to his social acceptance.
But maybe I was too dramatic. Maybe he was actually going through something big and I was being a peach after all. People needed space, everyone did and for him to politely ask for it and me to decline it was maybe somewhat selfish. But I just wanted to be involved, I just wanted to know what was wrong there was no need for him to be a peach about it either. I stare at John as he jumps out of the car and opens the back door for me. I smile at him but decline his kind offer and instead open the passengers door, "I'll seat at the front with you if you don't mind John."
"I would be more than happy Ma'am," I smile again and it just stays plastered there, that small fake regretful smile as I kept thinking about me and Max's argument. If I acted more mature none of that would have happened, If I just respected his request. I honestly don't know what got into me, Im never one to do that. Im always so calm, what was that?
John slamming the door as he seated himself in the drivers seat made me snap back into existence, "John?" His eyes were concentrated forward and only forward as he responded.
"Do you think I made Max really mad?" He smiles a little and glances at me from the corner of his eye, "Certainly not Ma'am," I frown, certainly not?
"What do you mean 'Certainly not'," I mimic his masculine Geordie accent.
He chuckles a little, "You make him happy," I smile at that but the response still hadn't answered my question.
"What Im trying to imply here Ma'am is that he isn't one to be mad at someone at something so trivial like that. Yes he was mad and having one of his bad days, but whenever he has those bad days, he sneaks out of the castle and I just know his outside your window smiling his teeth out," My smile grows at the fact that I made him happy. I remember he told me last night that I did make him happy but I completely forgot about it after the 'interruption' not that I was complaining. Making someone happy was in fact one of the items I had on my bucket list when I had cancer.
Make someone else happy excluding sam and parents before you die.
I wonder if my mom stored that list, I wrote it but as soon as I was fine and given a second shot at life I discarded it and never thought about it ever again, until now of course.
"John do you know that your Geordie accent is quite hard to understand," he smiles but never once makes direct eye contact with me. He was good at his job.
"I know and I am surprised that you've understood every single word Ive spoken. Good Job Ma'am," he was so good at his job, the way he talked was so boring I was holding back a yawn because that would have sounded disrespectful.
"Is everyone at the castle formal?"
"Quite certainly! More formal than me actually," I hold back yet another yawn.
"Do you guys like dance when the King and Queen isn't looking?"
"Well the Queen lets us be informal whenever she is present."
"What do you mean?" I noticed his back was completely straight and wasn't touching the drivers seat at all. If that was being 'formal' that was definitely torture. It made me squirm in my seat as I felt embarrassed with how I was seated compared to John.
"Well we get to slouch sometimes," he winks at me and my cheeks overheat at the embarrassment of him knowing I was rudely staring.
"Well you can slouch with me you know, it's not like Im going to snitch," He laughs and I notice his back relaxing just a little bit.
"Thats better," I smile at him and turn to look out at the window and my smile grows even bigger when I see the sunflowers we were dashing past.
"Beautiful," I whisper and lay back in my seat when a yawn indicated that I was in need of yet more sleep.
.
"Sunflower," I smile.
"You haven't called me that in so long Mama," I turn in my seat when she places a kiss on my cheek.
"Mama let me sleep please!" I whine.
"Wake up its time to go to school," wait dad?
"Dad! Let me be, Sam will come pick me up," I hear a laugh which was most certainly not my dads. My eyes immediately snap open and I found myself staring at blue orbs that lingered above me.
"Max?" I jolt from my seat and look at my surroundings, I was in a car and it was dark and Max was here.
"We've reached already?" I ask.
"No we haven't even left," I roll my eyes and gently nudge his chest so that he left some room for me to drop out of the car.
"Are you still mad?" I put my hands around him and lay my head on his chest. I liked hugging him because he was way taller than me and I could always hear his heartbeat when I placed my head on his chest and I liked it.
"Are you trying to convince me to forgive you by hugging me?" I look up towards him and smile, "maybe..."
He chuckles and places another small kiss on my forehead, "You are forgiven peasant now shu shu," he waves his arms around in a gesture to tell me to move but I still stood there in his arms laughing at his attempt of being authoritative.
"Is this how king Max is going to talk with 'shu shu'," I copy his hand gesture but he doesn't see it because my hands were behind him.
"Wheres John?"
"I King Maximus has dismissed him." I laugh and roll my eyes at how snobby that sounded.
"Lets get you in your bed," he starts walking backwards with me still hugging him which was difficult for him but I don't budge because I was enjoying walking like a penguin with my feet on top of his.
"Ah get off me you twat," I laugh and without a goodbye I run off into my apartment building. I hear him yell something and I turn around, stick my tongue out at him before continuing with my quest towards my majestic room.
"Flash, flash,flash!" I repeat over and over as I repeatedly press the elevator button.
They finally open and Im greeted with a smiling Logan, "guess Im going up again," He laughs, "why how nice of you to escort a lady like me," when the elevator doors close I realize I forgot my belongings in Max's car but I shrug knowing that he'll deliver them at my window anytime any day.
"So where have you been?"
"Out and about surfing the world," I was being a little too extra.
"Well you look more beautiful actually, you have a new glow on your face," I look at myself at my reflection and smile, I did have a somewhat new glow.
"Thank you, but I mean hasn't it always been there?" I flip my hair and as if on que the elevator door dings open and I jump out. I was feeling a new burst of energy that was somewhat unidentifiable, maybe it was because I was finally back home.
"Im coming to help you, you know dust around cause it must be super dusty in there," I kneel down and flip the welcome rug to take out the extra key I hid there when I went out for a few minutes. Totally convenient but unsafe.
"Aww thats sweet Logan but I can handl-" I gasp when I look back at the door.
"Whats- Oh my God," I wanted to cry at the sight before me.
Someone had broke in. Breaking the door by the lock as he tried to enter and leaving a small hole where the doorknob once was. I was frozen not knowing what to do, bursts of emotions consuming me. I didn't want to open the door because I was afraid of what I'd find. If he or she went to the extent of dislodging the doorknob and breaking the door by the side, they must have been desperate and I didn't want to know what they took or did.
"You are telling me no one in this whole hallway heard anyone breaking into their neighbors house?" Logan yells at the passerby who was minding his own business as he went over to his apartment.
"Y'all suck!" I hold Logans arm and shake my head, "It's okay! I don't even have anything valuable for anyone to steal lol," I was holding back the tears because it was just a small break in and it wasn't like I had gold or anything. I slowly open the door and breath in. Its okay Hales.
But it wasn't, my apartment was a complete disaster. My hand slips from Logans arm and my mind went blank. I drop to my knees and feels tears stream down my cheeks. I feel Logans hands around me as they pull my limp body into his chest and whispers something. I feel completely nothing, I couldn't do anything, I was frozen.
Every posters and every comic was ripped into pieces. The comics Maximus gave me were laying on the floor, my posters ripped from the wall and scattered on the ground, everything...everything.
They held a special place in my heart. Each poster had its significance, everything I put held memories and it might seem childish that a 24 year old was crying over some posters and some comics but they were one of the things I cherished most. They were what made me have some sense of happiness when I was laying in the hospital bed all hope lost and my dreams snatched from me. The comics made me smile and I never let go of them when I was recovering from post-cancer. When I vowed to change for my parents I wanted to be a completely different person and I busied myself reading comics in effort to dismiss my broken dreams and eventually after some time, the comics, the posters, everything became a part of me I did not want to lose or grow out of. And now seeing them all laying down on the floor, shredded to pieces felt like I lost a part of me. I knew eventually I had to grow up but I didn't know it would have to be so soon.
Some people draw, paint, listen to music or whatever comforts them to be able to just feel fine again when they are having a hard time, to just feel a peace subside in their hearts as they did what they loved and comforted them. That was the comics for me. They were my comfort zone, reading a comic would just completely erase my bad mood and I'd suddenly be so occupied loving a comic that I'd forget about what I was so moody about.
I know I could buy new ones and start over again but each poster held a memory that was now ruined by God knows who. It was like ripping an artists masterpiece and telling them, 'you can do other ones anyways,' when they spent hours and hours growing attached to their masterpiece as they created it.
"This poster was given to me by Sam just after I got out of the hospital," I smile down at a poster and watch three little teardrops splash on it.
"Hidden behind our fears are second chances waiting to be seized," He was trying to tell me that there was a reason I was given a second shot at life. Typical Sam.
"And this one, this one's my favorite, I bought it myself actually," I chuckle when I remember the memory of me hauling Sam into the mall at midnight because I had saved enough money to buy an A2 flash poster. He was grumpy because he wanted to sleep but I insisted anyways and he grumpily stole his dads car keys and drove us to the mall murmuring curses the whole way.
.
"Sam please! I beg you!" I was hovering on top of him, slapping him a few times to keep him awake.
"Do you know how hard it is for a disabled girl to jump from her window, run 100kms, climb a tree and jump into another window Sam?"
"Fuck you Hales Adams! Fuck you!" He pushes me away and sits up glaring holes into my smiling face.
"I love you!"
"Blah blah blah, you didn't even do half of those things, I know you stole the front doors extra key yesterday," I smile wider to annoy him so that he stops talking.
"Less talking more working biatch!"
"Fuck you."
.
I had so many posters, three from my parents, two from Miss Tatu and like a hundred from sam and literally only one that I bought for my self.
"Hales, I know the importance each poster..." I had forgotten Logan was still here, he was so quiet. I guess he was giving me the space I needed while still being here for me.
"Shhh...hear that?" Someone was mumbling, I stand up and slowly follow the source of the sound fury boiling in me at knowing the culprit was still lounging in my house. Had they no shame? Had they not have done enough? I was going to report him for this.
"Hales?"
"Shh Logan, there's something," I halt in my steps when I hear my laugh.
"No," I whisper, feeling yet more tears fill up my eyes. I didn't want anyone to ever see that video, I kept it hidden in my USB thinking I had hid it enough.
I should have deleted it but something inside me had always stopped me.
I should have deleted it.
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Earlier and longer updates anhaa😂😂 Im soo sorry this book is soo sloww But Im getting there and I like every moment of it😭😭
Thanks for anyone who is still reading this:
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Pssst I Made this and Im proud:
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