secret relationship
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If there is one thing you need to worry about it's that you are secretly dating some guy who has been your neighbour for as long as you can remember.
It was just two weeks ago that he confessed to you out of the blue but you didn't think that he would want your relationship to be a secret.
There are a few suspiscious looks that your friends gave you but it didn't bother you one bit.
"It's the clinginess that makes it obvious," you growled to your boyfriend who keeps following wherever you go.
You were actually at library to give back the books you were borrowing and you happen to see him there looking for something to read.
Of course you tried to leave as quickly as possible but the librarian was really slow that Yoarashi spotted you then decided to follow you.
And he wants the relationship to be a secret. (smh)
"Everybody knows we're close," he argued, "You sure you didn't tell anyone."
You sighed while facepalming yourself at the accusation your own boyfriend is throwing at you. You were just leaving the library together and school ended fifteen minutes ago so now you are on your way to leave.
"Oh god, say that one more time I am totally going to tell everybody," you shot him a glare which he raises his hand up in defeat.
You turn your head back to the front as you reach the front porch of the school building.
None of you said anything after the small argument. You were pretty upset with the doubts he's having. It's like as if he never trusted you. You actually thought that having a secret relationship will be pretty cool so you never asked him the reason and just agreed but it got difficult and people are starting to notice.
So what's the point of keeping it a secret now?
You inhaled and exhaled to calm your nerves. You were starting to get panicky with all these thoughts and the more you think the harder it gets to breathe.
Yoarashi is sharp when it comes to these things so you tend to do the routine your mom tells you to do. Keep a low profile and just breathe before it gets worse.
After the breathing routine, you take in his hand and lock your fingers together making the latter grin. You ignore the redness of your cheeks andㅡ once againㅡ keep a low profile.
"I'm still mad at you," you say but he was still grinning.
"I'm sorry I just don't want to make our relationship a big deal," he said nervously.
Your chest tightens with the way he'd spoken those words. A big deal. Not important? You squeeze his hand a little and stopped walking.
Confused. He stopped walking as well and turns to you.
"Why?" you asked, "Why did you say it like that?" you bite your lip trying to suppress the urge of crying. You don't want to make a scene in front of him so you were trying your best to fight back the unwanted emotion.
"Y/N? Are you crying?" he asked.
"No. Just answer," your eyes welled up with tears as your mind was starting to drown with thoughts. Thoughts that you've been trying to erase. All the negatives. All the what ifs.
But again, you bite your lips each time you talk. Because you don't want to let the tears fall. Not in front of him at least.
Yoarashi felt the shakiness from your hand and also the sweat that were forming. He knew that it was the start of something again. So he took you to somewhere private. Some place secluded so you could release it.
You couldn't care less anymore because it was getting harder to keep it in so you followed him and patiently wait for him to answer your question.
You got the hint that he noticed your starting point and you hate yourself for failing all the time. Yoarashi took you to a nearby playground. Both of you sit on the bench right beside each other.
Tears spill your eyes as you try your best to keep yourself calm and to stop the trembling in your hands as well as the sweat. Yoarashi was rubbing your back soothingly,something your mother told him to do if it happens.
"It's okay, it'll go away," he whispers.
But you don't believe anything he said. Not when he didn't want to make a big deal of your relationship.
"I-I'm just scared," you felt your voice cracked when you told him. "This secret thing is getting hard."
"I'm sorry," his voice softens while he reaches his hand around you.
Your breathing calmed down a bit but your mind was still screaming with chaos. You want it to go away. The hug itself didn't help you just need an explanation from him. You just want to know why he wanted it to be a secret.
You know you should've asked from the start but you thought you could handle at the time.
"I'm really sorry, I justㅡ I didn't think it bothers you this much," he said.
"You know I get pessimistic with everything."
But it's kind of my fault too. You wanted to say that but it wouldn't come out.
He stroke your hair gently and you close your eyes taking in the gentleness and comfort that it was giving you. Your breathing steadied and your body stopped trembling. The thoughts were there but it didn't bother you as much anymore.
You felt him peck the top of your head.
"I don't want you to get bullied," he finally say. There was sincerity in his voice. You didn't get mad at the reason. Yoarashi has too many fans so you understand but that reason shouldn't be in the way of your relationship.
You hold him closer and let out a calm sigh.
"That shouldn't be the reason," you inched away from the hug a little so you could face him.
Yoarashi's eyes locks with yours. You try not to blush but you blushed anyway. You couldn't get used to the closeness of your faces.
"I trust you," you said, "I know I can always count on you to protect me."
His hand on your back clenched your shirt. He looks the other way feeling ashamed of himself but your hands turn his face to look at you again.
"It's sweet of you for protecting me that way but I want to be proud of the person I love openly," you smile assuringly to make him feel better, "I want to hold your hand and school and show them that I appreciate you. That I love you as much as your fans."
"Gosh," he sighed then moved his hands towards your cheeks as well, "Why do you always make me look dumb?"
"Because you are"
He blushed.
"But that's alright, everybody makes mistakes and I'm like, what, your first girlfriend?"
He grumbles under his breath in annoyance and you were satisfied with how things are now. So while he busies himself cursing some words you couldn't hear, you leaned in.
Having the taste of his lips making his eyes wide at the sudden attack. You pulled away from a brief moment to catch your breath and smirked.
His face red.
"Your first kiss," you said while leaning in once again.
You had your hands wrapped around his neck and this time, he kissed you back despite the redness of his cheeks. Both of you were having the moment and you thought what a good kisser he was.
You pulled back and your boyfriend buries his face on the crook of your neck so you couldn't see his face.
"Now that we're clear. We should tell everyone," you said.
"Okay," he replied.
"Are you being shy right now?"
"..."
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wrote this in class and i take back what i said. i'm slacking off and nobody can stop me. class was boringㅡ everybody were silent even when the lecturer left and i haven't made a single friend. lmao. i'm so anti-social.
i'm also planning to publish an original story but i'm not sure if i should. consider that i'm slow at updating and all but idk. i'll think about it.
and once again, thank you for reading! i'll try to edit this chapter. i know the writing is crap.