Thoughts of an ill mind

Delusion

     Ever since i was young ive had a strong feeling that i was meant to do something. That me, out of the billion others, was special. I convinced myself that my small insignificant existence someday may become larger then life. Im 15 now and that feeling has all but vanished. Somewhere deep down im aware i mean nothing, that my existence will contribute nothing to this world. Yet i still yearn for greatness, to become someone who means something, a unique existence all of its own. Ive often been surrounded by extraordinary people, this only aided in my delusions. My friends often being popular, or attractive asl, carefree to a dangerous extent, theyre all special. I felt to be surrounded by such outstanding people must make me special. Why else would all these people gravitate towards me? To gather the extraordinary one must be extraordinary themself, right? Thts how i thought, only recently have i realized that im a grounding presence. Im wisdom. Im logic. They come to me not because im special or extraordinary but because im quite the opposite. Theres nothing special about my existence, consistent normalcy is what these friends of mine sought. In the end im not special, nor will i ever be. Im glad to be surrounded by such special people though.
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