On Saturday morning the Gryffindors were all geared up for their first Quidditch game. At the breakfast table Remus could see a lot of the students had gone all out. A good two-thirds of them were wearing Gryffindor colors. Many had face paint on and there were quite a few pennants sitting around as their owners ate breakfast. Several students wore hats and there were three older students who had lion masks on their heads, resting on the top until they were ready to go to the pitch. Over at the Hufflepuff table, the students were drenched in yellow and black, badger decorations everywhere.
James, Sirius, and Peter were all dressed up too. Peter had a scarlet jumper on and his Gryffindor scarf sat on the bench next to him. But the other two were both wearing red trousers. James had a gold jumper on, while Sirius wore a red-and-gold striped one that looked like it fit James and not Sirius. James also had pots of red and gold face paint so after they finished eating they smeared their faces with the colors.
"Come on then," James said, lifting red fingers to Remus.
Remus pushed himself away. "I'm n--not going."
"Why not?" James's eyes went huge at the betrayal. "It's Quidditch!"
Exactly why I'm not going. "I have a lot of--of assignments to catch up with," Remus said, scooting a little more back in case James decided to just slather the paint on him regardless.
"Liar," Sirius said. "Have you ever even been to a game?"
"If you include the one where my brains were bashed out of my ears, then yes," Remus replied rather icily.
"That doesn't count," James said, then turned back to Peter, drawing a red line down the bridge of his nose. "You'll like Quidditch. It's really, er, educational. Peter, come on, sit still, my lion looks more like a kitten."
"That's supposed to be a lion?" Sirius laughed at the shapes on Peter's cheek. "I never knew lions were so triangular. Looks like a slice of pizza."
"Shaddup," James grumbled then made the picture worse.
"No! Wait. It's a badger, you're making him root for the other team, he's a spy!"
"Shut. Up!"
Sirius propped his elbow on the table and put his chin against his hand, smiling at Remus. "You really not coming? Even Evans is going, see?"
Remus looked down the table to see Lily, Colgate, and Inkwood were all wearing headbands with lion ears. Inkwood was the most decked out including brilliant gold lion paws that stood out against her dark skin, but Lily was wearing a Gryffindor jumper and when she waved her hand through the air Remus could see her nails were bright scarlet.
"You're the only Gryffindor not going!" Peter said as James gave up trying to draw anything and just smeared the red. It made Peter look like someone had clawed the heck out of his cheek; Remus couldn't look at him.
"Then I'll have the common room all to myself," Remus said, poking at the last of his breakfast.
They kept trying their best to convince Remus up until it was time for them to head out to the pitch if they wanted decent seats. Sirius gave one last plea that Remus pretended not to hear, and then the Great Hall emptied out. Remus went up to the tower very pleased to see he was completely alone which was really nice. He brought all his books down, took the best table and began working on the assignments which only took up about half an hour to finish them. Then he went over to the window to watch the heavy grey clouds drift across the sky. It was drizzling, threatening to really pour down. Remus gave a bit of a shudder, picturing all the red face paint streaking like blood.
Eventually he made his way down to the library where Farrow chewed him out for not being at the Quidditch game. Remus just shrugged and found a nice table to work on the research he promised his friends, making the bat-bogey hex all furry. So far the research had been fruitless however he knew it was possible, he just needed to find the right arrangement of spells. James and Sirius had been getting pretty decent at the bat-bogey hex, at least for first years who were trying a spell that should be beyond their ability. Earlier in the week Sirius had shown off by hexing Peter and a great big gross blob of snot had ripped itself from his nose, fluttered for a moment, then glooped to the floor.
To his surprise, he heard someone else shuffling around the library. A few seconds later a Slytherin came out into the area where Remus was sitting. Snape. He looked very shocked to see Remus sitting there. "Why aren't you at the game?"
"No r-r-reason to--to be," Remus got out, shrinking a little in his seat. This is Lily's friend, he reminded himself. So he can't be all bad. "W--would you l-like to sit with me?"
"I'd rather drink essence of belladonna," Snape sneered. Then his lip curled a little. "I forgot, you're an idiot at potions. Belladonna is--"
"Highly toxic," Remus snapped right back. "I m-may not be able to-to make potions b--but I'm not an idiot." Then he regretted being rude, because of Lily; then wondered why Snape was being so rude since he knew Remus was Lily's friend too. He was considering apologizing but Snape walked off, muttering to himself about the boils the Gryffindors gave him the previous day, and how unfair it was they hardly got into trouble over it.
Remus scowled, wanting to go after him, remind him what Mulciber did--that he hardly got into trouble over that, but he stayed in his seat and went back to his research.
*
Gryffindor won. When Remus returned to the tower in the afternoon he found himself walking into a party. Music was blaring from a radio that had been enchanted to be as loud as possible, there were snacks and drinks everywhere, students dancing together, the Gryffindor team doing so on various pieces of furniture... Remus swallowed and was about to turn around and leave when someone grabbed his arm. He expected it to be one of the boys, but it was Lily. Her eyes were sparkling brighter than the gold glitter smeared across her cheeks, and she began talking--well, shouting--about how exciting Quidditch was and Remus should really come to the next game. She pulled him farther into the common room, ignoring his weak protests or perhaps she just hadn't heard them. The music was really loud.
After about five minutes of being forced to stand around with Lily and her friends, his head began aching from the throbbing bass of the music. It was a rather violent sort of headache that swiftly came and went, making him dizzy. He swayed a little, sweat forming across his forehead. He gazed around until he spotted his other friends. James had tied his Gryffindor tie around his forehead and was on one of the armchairs, making sort of zoomy motions with his hands while Sirius and Peter watched from the floor, clearly recounting the Quidditch game even though his audience had been there. Next to him, Cassandra Inkwood was also talking about the game, going over various moves and tactics the team had done.
Remus bent in towards Lily and tried his best to explain he wasn't feeling too well so he was just going to go lie down. Lily frowned though didn't say anything to stop him, just said she hoped he felt better soon.
Clutching his head, Remus hurried up the stairs to his dorm, shutting the door behind him, still hearing the music. He was surprised McGonagall hadn't come and told them to not be so loud, then again maybe it wasn't so bad for normal human ears. He crawled under his bed to lay there, a pillow wrapped around his head. Finally the music and the headache ebbed to a bearable level. If this happens every time they win a game, I hope they never win again, he thought rather bitterly, and wondered how long the Gryffindors could possibly party.
The answer was: a long time. They were still going at it when suppertime rolled around with no sign of stopping. Remus had to go through the craziness to head to the Great Hall and was one of the only Gryffindors down there. Most Gryffindors substituted treats stolen from the kitchens for their dinner. The Hufflepuffs were in the room, more than a few of of them looking quite glum, several shooting looks towards the half dozen Gryffindors as if were their fault. At study group, Lily and Twycross didn't show up. Bones and Pierce did, and Remus hoped they didn't have any ill will towards him. They didn't seem to, and the forty-five minutes went about as well as it normally did. Afterwards, Remus had to talk back up to the tower by himself where the Gryffindors were still partying.
"Where've you been?" James demanded, stopping Remus when he tried to get to his dorm. James's face glistened with sweat, the face paint in horrible streaks.
"S--study group?" Remus asked, flinching slightly as a balloon gently bopped his head. Peter gave the balloon a swat, sending it back to the crowd. "I'm not really much of a party sort of p-person."
Sirius leaned against him, arm around his shoulder. "You went to study group instead of partying? Merlin. Starting to rethink being friends with you."
It took a couple of heartbeats to realize he was teasing. During that short span of time Remus felt exceedingly sick and hurt. More hurt than he thought he should be with a sharp pain in his stomach and chest that faded away at the sight of Sirius smirking. Remus did his best to manage a smirk back. "Partying instead of studying? What makes you think I want to be friends with you now?" Sirius clutched at his chest, staggering back dramatically, nearly knocking Peter over. "Look, wh-when we're celebrating James winning, then I'll party," Remus promised.
James held up his hand at Remus who stared in confusion. "High five, little buddy," he explained. Remus hesitantly gave him a high five. "Yeahhh!"
Remus returned to his dorm and, after changing into pajamas, remained under his bed for a good long while. The party seemed to end sometime around nine, or at least the music faded away. Shortly after the other boys came up, chatting about the game and the party. After a few minutes Sirius looked under Remus's bed, smiling at him; when Spinnet asked what he was doing, Sirius said he dropped his wand. It wasn't until everyone went to sleep well after midnight that Remus slithered back out and went to bed properly.
*
The last days of November were cold, grey, drizzly, sleety, and a little bit of snow occasionally in the nights. With the only two Quidditch games of pre-Christmas-Holidays now over and done with, the students turned their attention to other things. School, mostly. Pranks, in the case of James and Sirius. As best they could. With the Holidays now three weeks away, their stores were very low, mostly nonexistent. They had to turn to other ideas of playing tricks on the other students. Sunday found Remus copying down a jinx after nearly an hour of trying to find it in the library books, and delivering it to his friends for them to practice, which they spent the entire day doing so. A tripping jinx. Really, a little advanced for a first year however James and Sirius both managed to get it within forty-eight hours.
Tuesday afternoon at lunch they tried it out on some Slytherins on their way to lunch, snickering as the Slytherins stumbled and tripped over their own feet, no idea what caused it. No one looked over at the four first years watching from across the entrance hall.
"It's mean to do," Remus said as Urswick nearly fell into the Great Hall's doorway.
Sirius elbowed him. "Then you shouldn't have helped us."
"Besides, you're sitting here watching," added James as he aimed carefully at Snape coming down the stairs. James couldn't have time it better: Snape stumbled down the steps, nearly falling, having to grab at the banister to keep himself from wrecking into the floor. When he righted himself, Remus could see some blood on his palms from where his hands had scraped down the stone railing. Snape looked at the blood then suspiciously at the Gryffindors. Not a wand was in sight, and in fact James and Peter were very busy looking at a comic book in Peter's lap, while Sirius was tossing a ball high into the air and catching it.
Snape's eyes locked with Remus's, the only one looking. Remus finally looked away.
"Nearly gave us away," James hissed into Remus's ear once Snape disappeared into the Great Hall. "Why'd you stare like that?"
"He was bleeding..."
"So? He deserves it."
That night as he headed to Occlumency, Remus realized Fawley would be seeing all of this, everything he was doing with his friends. That he was the one responsible for the sudden outbreak of clumsiness among the students. Indeed, one of the first memories that surfaced was of him handing the spell over to Sirius, the lot of them amused over this new prank. Another was that afternoon, them in the entrance hall. Sirius and James getting into trouble over the boils thing.
When they emerged from his head, Remus had a faint headache while Fawley had a frown on her face. He could feel the disappointment radiating off of her. She didn't have to say it. She agreed with his parents that having friends was dangerous, and each week she briefly mentioned how risky it was. "You're getting closer to them," she said, her words sliding over him like ice.
"Mmm."
Then to his surprise she asked, "Do you know much about the Black family?"
Remus just sat on the couch, no idea what to say in response. "N... not really. I th-think they're usually S-Slytherins, right?"
"I... have wanted to bring this up with you, debating whether I should or not. You need to be extra careful around him. A Black. They've all been in Slytherin, and they are all dark witches or wizards."
"Obviously n-not," he retorted immediately. Fawley's face tensed as she began smoothing her silky trousers down. "Sirius isn't in--in Slytherin. Plus he's not a dark wizard."
"He will be." Her tone jabbed through the air into him. "All of them are. There isn't a single good member of the Black family. They all believe in absolute blood purity and you can bet that doesn't end with just Muggleborns and half-bloods--just ask your 'friend' what his family motto is. They'd just consider you a half-breed. You know, I'm not even sure he'd out you to the Ministry. A Black would use the information for something else. Use you."
Each word was like poison, like acid. He began shivering and fighting off the urge to throw up, fighting off the urge to scream at her. He saw Sirius, saw his smile, heard his laughter, remembered the gentle way he inspected the back of Remus's head in the hospital wing after the first years' Quidditch game, the way Sirius wanted revenge against the person who had hurt him. Sure, it'd be bad if he knew the truth and Remus intended for that to never happen, but Sirius wasn't evil.
"He's a Gryffindor," Remus finally said, not even realizing how haughty he sounded.
"His blood is Black," Fawley said flatly, fingers twitching towards her scars.
Remus drew his feet up onto the couch, realizing something. "A Black attacked you."
Fawley's hand fluttered back to her lap then she slowly nodded. "Her name was Elara Black. A cousin, I believe; perhaps an aunt. I'm not too well versed in their family tree. The Black family certainly clamored for my sister's blood to spill for what happened. Your friend's parents were probably at her execution, pleased to see a werewolf's head roll."
Remus couldn't hold it in anymore. He darted off the couch towards a nearby trashcan, grabbing the edges to tilt it close so he could vomit up his supper. All he could see now was Sirius at Fawley's sister's execution, though he doubted he would have been taken. Or would he? If his parents hated half-breeds so much, would they have dragged their young child to watch her head roll?
He vomited again, and a few tears splattered into the mess. Why did she have to tell him this?!
YOU HAVE BROUGHT ABSOLUTE SHAME ON THE BLACK FAMILY NAME! he could hear the Howler from the first morning echoing in his head. James saying 'that Black family', Sirius replying with 'unfortunately'.
He heard Fawley walk over. She knelt down pressing a hand gently against his back. "I didn't mean to upset you that much," she whispered then pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket, using a spell to dampen the cloth. "Here." He pressed the cool, damp cloth against his eyes for a few seconds then wiped his face off. Fawley rubbed his back as he did so. "Perhaps your friend is different from his family however... I just... wanted you to know. Before your friendship and bond with him developed even more."
I'm not going to stop being friends with him, he thought stubbornly. "What sh-should I do with the handkerchief?"
She tapped it with her wand, and the splotches disappeared. "You can keep it. Come on, let's get you some water."
She didn't want to pursue the lesson anymore but Remus was determined. They spent ten minutes trying to calm him down which didn't work. When Fawley went into his head, it was full of Sirius, memories of his smile, his laughter, his teasing flooding through Remus's head, into Fawley's.
"Again," Remus said a minute or so after the link was broken, the headache fading.
"Tomorrow's the full moon. You're tired, distracted, and distressed."
"Again." Then a tentative, "Please?"
He returned to his dorm twenty minutes before their lessons was slotted to end. He was still very shaky, and paler than he was before (and with the full moon coming the next day, he was already rather sickly looking). In the dorm his friends were playing a rowdy game of exploding snaps which they invited Remus to join but he just pawed in the wardrobe for his pajamas, trying not to cry again, not wanting to even look at Sirius.
Part of him wanted to ask, have you seen a werewolf execution? Your parents were probably there, were you? He knew at this point Fawley-the-werewolf had been executed in 1965. Sirius would have been five years old. Had he been dragged there, forced to watch? Or would he have been spared the bloodshed?
"You feeling okay?" Sirius's voice just made Remus feel even worse.
"N--not really," Remus said, hugging his pajamas and bathroom toiletries to his body. "My m-mother's not doing well again... I'm really worried."
"Are you going to go see her?" James asked.
"Maybe," Remus said, still looking at the floor, still avoiding looking at Sirius. "I'll d--decide in the morning." He went to get a shower, a very hot shower, trying to scrub away the dirty feeling all over his body from everything that had been said that night. Then he sat on the floor, hugged his knees, and cried as he kept seeing a silver ax flashing, and a young Sirius watching.