Ashton's POV
I was crying harder than I thought I would be. This should be easy. I've done it so many times before that I thought I would've been used to it. But it's not easy. Not at all. I put the rest of the sharpener back into my bag and took hold of one of the blades.
I couldn't stop shaking. I was shaking so hard that I thought the sharp object would fall right out of my hand. I don't have anyone to stay strong for anyways. Not even myself.
I brought the razor up to my wrist, applying pressure and sliding it across. I bit my lip and dropped the razor. I regretted it, but I wanted more. As much as it pained me to say it, I wanted more. It hurt, but it also took the hurt away.
The blood stood out against my skin. Then there was another cut. And another. And another. And another. I decided five was enough, as they were pretty deep.
My phone buzzing brought me out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.
From: jerk
Hey sry about 2day. Goodnight
From: Ashyboo
i dont like you stop texting me
From: jerk
I know u don't but I still thought I'd say sry
From: Ashyboo
wow everything is better omg thanks so much!!12!!1!
From: jerk
U don't have 2 be mean about it Im trying 2 b nice
From: Ashyboo
sorry i have a tendency to be rude to assholes
From: jerk
Whatever. Goodnight
From: Ashyboo
goodnight, asshole.
~
I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked terrible. My eyes were red, there was dry blood on my arms, my face was red and wet from tears; I just looked terrible. I ran a hand through my hair, which was messy and knotted from sleeping. I decided to take a shower.
I was still tired after my shower. I expected that, though, since I only got an hour of sleep. I didn't show that, though. There was a smile glued onto my face when I walked downstairs in a grey hoodie and black skinny jeans with holes in the knees.
I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.
"Morning, Ashton. Sleep well?" Stephen asked as I came downstairs. I nodded, taking a seat at the table and grabbing my grey converse that were laying on the table. He was flipping through a newspaper while Laurie was making some coffee.
"Oh, morning, sweetie." Laurie greeted when she noticed I was here. I waved quickly and went back to tying my shoe.
"Would you like some coffee?" She asked.
"Yes, ma'am." I answered. I finished tying my shoes and looked up at Stephen, who was checking his watch.
"You're up awfully early." He stated.
"Went to bed early." I lied, fiddling with the sleeves of my hoodie. He nodded, going back to reading. I took out my phone and went on Pinterest.
"The coffee machine isn't working. Just run by McDonald's on your way to school and get some." Laurie said, handing me a ten dollar bill. Coffee wouldn't cost near that much, but I just went with it and decided I'd give her the change later.
I grabbed stuffed my lunchbox and books into my bag and made my way out the door. School didn't start for awhile, but I had to get some coffee soon if I wanted to survive this day. I took out my headphones and made a journey to McDonald's.
It was quite empty when I got there, so I ordered and left with my coffee quite quickly. I'd get to school really early, but I was okay with that. I had my phone charger in my bag anyways.
While I was walking to school, my phone started vibrating and I held it up, revealing a picture or Charlotte. I swiped my screen to accept the call and held the phone up to my ear.
"Sup, bitch." I greeted, smiling. It was good to have friends like this again. I may not know Ryan that well, but I feel like Charlotte could be my new Luke. I shouldn't have a problem replacing him; he did it so easily with me.
"Hey, babe. When are you getting to school because it's boring as hell here." She said. I laughed.
"Don't insult Hell like that. It's not nearly as bad as school." I said. She laughed, which ended up being a snort.
"Oh my goodness! I snorted!" She said. I giggled, and she gasped.
"Forget my snorting, you just giggled! Oh my God. You're like a kitten." She said. I blushed, and I was glad she couldn't see me. I blush a lot.
"I'm at the school, by the way." I said, taking a sip of my coffee. I hung up on her without warning, as I could see her. She got up and ran towards me.
"Hey." She greeted. I waved and smiled.
"Cutie over there is staring at you." She said, looking over my shoulder.
"How cute?" I asked.
"Pretty cute. I think his name is like Luke?" She answered.
"His name is Asshole, actually." I said, rolling my eyes and walking to our table. Charlotte looked shocked, but followed me to our table.
"Asshole, huh? What'd he do?" She asked. I was surprised that she didn't know he was my best friend, since him and I were attached at the hip.
"He was my best friend, but he met better people this year and stopped hanging out with me." I said, taking a sip of my coffee. This made me feel professional for some reason. Just that feeling of achievement. I don't know why, though.
"That jerk." She said. I nodded, looking back over to Luke, who was still staring at me. I flipped him off, then looked at Charlotte, who also flipped him off.
~
Luke's POV
I had no reason to be pissed at him. But I was. I was the one who stopped talking to him yet I blamed him for it. I was sitting next to him in math right now. We didn't chose that; it just always happened with Irwin and Hemmings.
I was really angry right now. I tried to be nice to him through texts, and what do I get? He's just a sarcastic ass. I furrowed my eyebrows, pushing down on my pencil, which caused the led to snap off. I sighed, knowing that the teacher's was broken and I lacked one. I had to talk to Ashton.
"Ash, can I borrow your pencil sharpener?" I asked. He nodded, randomly searching his bag until he found it. When he did, the bell rang and he threw it at me and left. I sighed, grabbing it and putting my pencil in. I turned it a couple of times and then pulled it out. It still looked the same. I looked at the pencil sharpener and gasped.
The blades were gone.
~
Ashton's POV
I walked out of math quickly. I felt like I was about to cry just sitting by him. I ran to my locker. When I got there, I dropped everything. My books, my notebook, my binder, everything. Spray painted across the red locker in black words was a three letter word.
Fag.
There was a crowd around me. Everyone was laughing. A couple of the boys looked proud. Luke looked sad. Charlotte and Ryan looked sad. If they looked sad, I must have looked like a wreck.
I didn't hesitate to run.
I ran right out the school. I ran out the back, of course, so no teachers would see. I was going to run home, but someone grabbed my wrist. It hurt, but I remembered not to let anyone know. I turned around to see Charlotte, along with Ryan.
"Go away." I said, wiping my eyes and turning around. She just grabbed my arm again and turned me around, this time pulling me into a hug. I just buried my face in her neck and cried, because that's one of the only things I wanted to do right now.
The other thing was kill myself.
~