A/N: My beautiful wonderful new co-owner @LiveLife_ShipCake wrote this as her submission to me and I'm posting it because it's fucking amazing and i love it so much! So if you see this DD I love you! xx
Okay continue reading!
*****
Cashton
*****
Ashton has always been there.
The first memory Calum has of Ashton is way back in the second grade. The teacher introduced the odd looking student, who had unruly curly tresses of blond, and a weird machine in his ear. He looked a lil out of it, and moved his hands in such a way that made Calum entranced.
But as cute as he was, Calum wasn't nice. He had a severe anger issue, even at a young age, and it often prevented him from making friends.
So instead of befriending the new boy (who he later discovered, was Ashton) he bullied him.
In the third grade, at lunch, Ashton and his translator took a seat by Calum where the dark haired boy sat alone. Angrily.
"You don't sit here," Calum grumbled, momentarily forgetting that Ashton was deaf. But Ashton was trained to read lips.
"I know," Ashton replied happily, his 'deaf voice' making Calum flinch a bit. The happiness lacing the Older boys voice made Calum's whole being envy furiously.
But Calum shut up after that.
â¢=â¢
In the fourth grade, Calum got after school detention for flipping off his teacher, and was more than surprised to see the dirty blond plop beside him. Why his heart started pounding, he couldn't tell you.
"What are you doing here, deaf?" Calum wonders, and Ashton stares straight ahead, that stupid smile he always wore stained on his lips. "Don't ignore me, deaf boy." Calum nudges him then, really starting to crave some attention. Ashton feels the nudge, and turns to face Calum. His toothy grin grows wider.
"Hi," Calum mutters.
"Hello, Calum. Look nice today," The dark haired nine year old tries his best to ignore the lil 'pitter patter' his heart does at the compliment.
"Yeah," he deadpans, trying to keep thoughts dark, as he always does. "Why're you in here anyway? Thought you were good." Ashton giggles then, and it's such a beautiful sound, Calum feels his breath catch in his throat, and he's wondering how he could feel this intense this young.
"I sit in the back of your class," Ashton squeaks, and his eyes are so bright you could be blinded by them. "So I knew you were getting detention. Didn't want you to be alone," he explains.
Calum is quiet after that.
+*+
In the fifth grade, everyone is assigned an exit project in order to graduate to secondary School. You had to work in pairs, and the subject could be on anything, as long it was school appropriate.
"Sara, and tristan. Dylan, and Tyler. Belle, and emma. Luke, and Michael. And then...Ashton, and Calum." Calum pretends to look pissed off. When Ashton's translator signs who he's paired with, Ashton undoubtedly grinned. "Now get to work, you have two weeks on this!"
"So, what do you want to the project on, Calum?" Ashton asked him politely.
"I uh... I don't know. I like bands??" Calum struggled To keep his words mean.
"Me too! Who are some of your favorites?" Ashton exclaims, and Calum is confused because if you're death how are you supposed to hear music?? Ashton senses this. "I can feel the beat, the rhythm," he explains. "So I might not be able to hear it, but I always know it's green day by the certain tempo, or blink by the frequency" Calum stares at him amazed.
" w-wow. I like green day, blink, Nirvana, mayday parade, so many more."
"Those are all great bands," Ashton compliments.
"Then it's settled. Pop punk bands is our topic. Come to my house after school?" Ashton nods in delight.
He was going to his crush's house.
As soon as Calum got home, he ignored his parents argument, and rushed upstairs to his room. He logged onto his lab top, and learned a few basic words in ASL. When Ashton rung the doorbell, Calum looked in the mirror one last time, before stomping downstairs to See Ashton in an awkward looking conversation with his parents.
"Mom, dad, Ashton. Ashton, mom, dad. We gotta work now." Calum tugs on Ashton's hand (and just that gesture brought so much warmth, and excitement he thought his hand would fall off) and led him to his bedroom. When they were sitting on his bed, Calum signed 'Hi, Ashton.' In ASL. Ashton's hazel eyes lit up, and Ash quickly signs back 'Hello, Calum.' Calum signs 'what' and they both laugh until their stomach hurt, and Ashton swears he could watch the crinkles by Calum's eyes for hours.
They worked all weekend, looking up research, listening to different albums. Calum hadn't felt this happy in a long time.
They ended up getting an A on the project, and a certificate to graduate primary school.
They didn't talk much after that.
~^~
Calum spent all summer learning ASL, and actually got pretty decent at it. All the built up anger he had inside of him was slowly fading away. He couldn't wait to show Ashton.
But when he shows up at school his first day of Secondary to hear that Ashton is trying out homeschooling for a year, Calum runs straight home and cries his room for a week.
That's when Calum finally decided, okay, maybe Ashton isn't half bad.
*_*
In the seventh grade, Ashton went through puberty, and returned to northwest. Calum's hormones were all over the place, and when he and the curly headed boy were reunited, all he could think was.
'Dang he got hot'
What he didn't know was That Ashton was thinking the same.
'Thanks for leaving me' Calum signed, his ASL a bit rusty, but understandable. Ashton grins at Calum's attempt to communicate.
'Sorry, bro. I missed you though. Homeschooling sucks balls' Calum laughs, and pulls the boy into a hug, breathing in his scent.
'We can be friends now' Calum signed warily. 'But just remember, I'm an angry person, I might blow up on you.' Ashton nods.
'And I'm an happy person. If you get mad, I'll just shit glitter and rainbows on your head' they laugh, and laugh, that day signifying the first day of true friendship.
It's too bad that's the last time Calum sees Ashton grin, and hears his giggle For a while.
()()
In the eighth grade, Ashton's parents die in a car accident, and Ashton's forced to move in with his grandmother. When he shows up to school a month after it began, he doesn't smile, or run up to Calum, or even blink. He's lost, and determined that nothing can help find him.
Calum notices how Ashton begins wearing long sleeves every single day. Calum notices how Ashton's grades are slipping. Because Calum notices everything about the short boy, Ashton practically the only thing keeping Calum same.
'Let me see your wrists' Calum signs to him at lunch.
'No' he replied simply. Everyone knew better then to say no to Calum.
He grips Ashton's arms, and rolls his sleeves up. He gasps when he sees a straight row of deep, red cuts on each arm. Calum begins to cry then- and Calum never cries, Calum yells- and sobs into Ashton's shirt.
"Why are you doing this to me!? I care about you, dammit!" Calum speaks aloud, unable to sign. Ashton's been numb for a while, but defiantly feels his heart shatter at his Calum looking so broken. "Cut me," Calum demands seriously. Ashton shakes his head. " I said, cut me! Cut me so you know how bad you're hurting me right now!"
"I can't hurt you Calum." Ashton squeaks. "I can't, I care about you too much."
"Then stop cutting yourself if you care about me," Calum challenges.
Ashton never cut again.
<><>
All that anger that left Calum a long time ago returned in year 8, when his parents split up. He tried to be positive, at least he wouldn't hear his dad beating his mum in the early hours of the night. Ashton's parents are dead,he should be grateful. But all he was is mad, suddenly feeling the desire to inflict pain upon himself like Ashton had done last year. His parents were making him chose, move to Scotland with his dad, or stay in oz with his mum.
Ashton was in oz, therefor Calum chose to stay.
And tonight, they laid on the floor with sleeping bags, with their other best mates, Michael and Luke.
"Let's do something," Michael whines annoyingly. "I'm bored."
"Same." Luke agrees. But of course Luke agrees with Michael.
"Let play truth or dare" Ashton suggests shyly. They all nod in agreement.
"I'll go first," Michael offers. "Ashton, truth or dare?"
"Truth," He says quickly.
"Hmmm...who's the hottest girl in our class?" Ashton racks his brain for a lie. He didn't think any girls were hot in general.
"I uh...wow you guys are my brothers in just gonna say it. I'm gay."
There's silence.
Calum's heart is beating so fast in his chest, and he felt so much joy knowing he wasn't the only one.
"Me too," Calum says, saving Ashton.
"I'm bi?" Luke questions himself. They all turn to Michael.
"Hey, don't look at me," he says, putting his hands up in defense. "I'm LukeSexual."
They laugh Til there's no air left.
An hour later, the game is growing darker.
"Calum, I dare you to make out with the hottest guy here. Tongue, hands, everything." Calum eyes immediately flash to Ashton's, and his stomach burns with nerves.
"Okay," Calum says, trying to sound brave. Now Ash would know that he likes him. He scoots over to Ashton, and pats his lap. Ashton complies and just sits there. Calum wraps his arms around his waist, and tilts his head. They both close their eyes, and lean in. Ashton can't hear, but he could defiantly feel the pounding of their hearts. Their lips are about to touch when;
"PENIS!!" Michael shouts, causing the boys to break apart in fright. Luke laughs til he pisses himself.
"Fuck you Michael!" Calum groans. "Fucking cockblock."
'Hey' Ashton signs to Calum. 'Don't fucking swear'
Calum is fine after that.
/\/\
Nothing relevant happens in the ninth grade, unless Calum quitting soccer counts. Also, 'muke' started dating, but everyone expected that.
(Ash and Cal may or may not have fangirled for hours after that announcement)
|||
But in the tenth grade, Calum finally came in conclusion that he was falling for Ashton, and falling for him hard. Everything the blond did, Calum fell in love with. The giggle. The arms of humor. His hugs. And Calum wanted more, so much more. So when at a typical high school party, and Calum finds Ashton making out with some dude, Calum grabs the back of his shirt, and pulls him up the stairs to a random bedroom.
'What the hell man' Ashton signs angrily.
'Be mine.' Calum signed.
'What?'
'Be mine' he signs again. 'I love you, Irwin. I always have.' Tears of joy fall down Ashton's cheeks, and he accepts happily. They pull in for their very first kiss, and it's filled with so much love, and passion it hurt. That night, they cuddled together, signing 'I love you' til their fingers ached.
And Calum knew when he felt like leaving this world, all he had to do was look at his world, Ashton, and all was right again.
###
In the Eleventh grade, Ashton heard of a Cochlear implant, a device in surgery that could improve his hearing, and ultimately give his sound back.
That's where their first argument occurred, Ashton saying he was fine the way he was, and Calum saying that he'd be happier if he could hear.
It ended up in much yelling, and They split up for a week.
Until they got tired of not being able to breathe at night, because they were not holding eachother.
"I'm so, so sorry baby. You are perfect just the way you are, you don't have to get that machine. I love you, even if you can hear or not."
"No," Ashton insisted, crying of course. "I'm sorry, Kitten. I should've listened to you, you were just trying to help me. I'm getting the implant. For you. For us,"
"No, I"
'End of story' Ashton signed.
'I love you, dumbass'
'I know'
-/-/-
The night before graduation day, Ashton and Calum sat up cuddled together in bed. After tomorrow,their lives would begin. Ashton could hear a bit now, and he loved it. Calum knew he would. They still signed though, because that was their thing.
'Let me make love to you'
'Okay'
Calum's moans were the prettiest sounds he's heard yet, Ashton decides later, when His lover is pushing in and out of him, slowly, lovingly.
"Come on, let me here you princess." Calum says.
"Mmmm. I-I-i Calum!!" He screams out, throwing his head back, blinded by pleasure.
"So pretty"
Then the next day, after handed their diploma and throwing their caps into the air they did it over again.
(School, that decided together, was something they will miss, because it's what brought them together in the first place.)
===
Their first year of college, Ashton is diagnosed with terminal Lung cancer, because life can only stay so sweet so long.
Calum knows he can't physically, or mentally live without Ashton, but he lies saying he'll try to move on.
He knows he won't.
When He and Ashton are laying on s bunk together in their dorm, Calum gets up on one knee, and signs.
'Marry me'
'No. You're doing this so then you won't move on'
'So be it. Marry me'
And Ashton has never had it in him to say no to Calum.
'Yes. Yes I'll marry you.'
Ashton dies before the reception. Just listen to Mayday parade, life can do terrible things.
Calum is this close from killing himself too, before he finds a tape in Ashton's old room.
'Calum' it said, in Ashton's usual scratchy voice. 'I've never heard before, and they say when you lose a sense, your others are strengthened. So I guess my sense of love was extra strong when I met you. I've loved you even as a little seven year old. Even when you were mean. I always knew I wasn't meant to be on this earth, I was always different. So if something ever happens to me, I hope you know how much I love you, and how much I need you to be okay without me. I'll always be here in your heart. Thank you for making life worth living. When you're done with this shit world, listen to this tape. I've left hundreds of everyday messages for you to keep you going. You can't see me, but I'm forever signing 'I love you' because I do Calum.
Calum stops the tape, and puts the bottles of pills down.
For Ashton, he had to stay.
For Ashton, he had to move on.
'I'll listen' he signed to the sky, to heaven.
'I'll listen'