~PORT LAGAN BEACH~
Ellie and Kim sat close together on the sand below the balcony, hugging their knees, away from the crowd. It was the only place they wouldn't be interrupted. It had taken them an hour to get outside once they'd wrapped their mini-set and Ellie had been hugged and made a fuss of by friends and family and people she kinda, sorta, didn't really know or remember.
"What are you gonna do when you get back to Melbourne?" Ellie leaned her head on her arms and looked at Kim sideways under the wavering patio lights, the cool breeze from the ocean playing across her cheeks.
Kim shrugged and pulled the collar of her denim jacket around her neck. "Check everything over with Brenin. Go over our finances. Make sure everything's in order before we start the tour again."
"Just take a break," Ellie suggested. "You don't need to do all that by yourself. Meg and me will be back in a few days."
Kim looked at her hands; stretched her fingers. "I need to keep busy."
Ellie nudged Kim with her elbow. "Why'd you shave your hair off? I mean, it looks awesome. But why? I would've done it for you."
"There's no way I'd let you anywhere near my head with a pair of scissors," Kim stated, then shifted her gaze out to the inky blackness of the sea in the distance. "When you weren't in your hotel room ... I just thought ... fuck it."
"I'm sorry."
Kim glanced at her. "You don't have to be sorry. I'd had too much to drink. Too much weed. All I wanted to do was piss my parents off. They kept going on and on at me on the phone about my hair being purple. So I thought, stuff ya. If I rock up with no hair, they've got nothing to complain about. They went psycho. Blamed it on you, actually."
Ellie shook her head, picturing Kim's dad's stern face. The whole time she'd known him, he'd whinged and moaned at her about being a bad influence on Kim. Broken record, Ellie used to say back to him under her breath. "Got a smoke?"
Kim pulled a packet of cigarettes and lighter out of her jacket pocket and offered them to Ellie. "Nothing I've ever done is good enough," she sighed.
Ellie glanced at Kim as she flicked at the lighter, cupping her hand around the flickering, glowing flame to light her cigarette. "You don't need to think about them anymore. Once you're out of here, all you need to do is create some sick drum licks for our new tunes."
"They want me to get married, you know? Have kids. 'Settle down'."
"Is that what you want?"
Kim snorted. "That's not what I want at all. The total opposite."
Ellie breathed in the acrid cigarette. It filled her with a harsh burn at the back of her throat, but it was what she needed right now. "What do you want?"
"To make music. Play drums. Hang with you and Megsy. Get shit done."
"I want that too." Ellie breathed out a satisfyingly long cloud of smoke and turned to look at Kim. "But some things have to change, Kimmie. You know that, right?"
Kim chewed on her lip; her eyes focused far down the beach on the shadowed roll of waves. When she said nothing, Ellie put her hand on her arm and didn't say anything either, just sucked on the cigarette again and watched the sparks fly away with the breeze as the faint, foamy waves sloshed across the rocks on the headland in the distance.
Hugging her knees closer to her body, Kim rested her forehead on them and Ellie wrapped her arm around her friend's shoulders, pulling her close; felt Kim shivering in her hold.
Kim turned to Ellie with tears in her eyes. "I think ... I'm kind of freaked out about ... things changing."
Ellie swallowed her own tears back. "Kimmie, me too. But we can't stay the same."
"I was seriously thinking of quitting the band, Ellie," Kim said, rubbing her palms over her eyelids. "How fucked up is that?"
"Yeah," Ellie said. "It's fucked up."
Kim sniffed. "I know."
Ellie flicked her ash away in the sand. "Please don't ever quit, Kimmie."
Kim gave Ellie a small smile. "I won't."
Taking a drag of the cigarette, Ellie gazed up into the stars. "I'm sorry I said you had no feelings. Maybe we both need to just stop a bit every now and then? Check in?"
With a nod, Kim hugged her knees tightly and pressed her forehead to them again, speaking into her chest. "I'm sorry I got bossy," she admitted.
Ellie squeezed Kim to her side. "There's no excuse for me ditching you when you needed me."
"Yeah there is."
"No, Kim—"
"I mean it, Ellie." Kim lifted her eyes to Ellie's. "I can see whatever's happening between you and Daniel. I can see it's not going away. And it scares me but I have to get used to it. And I want you to be happy. That's all. I mean ... you're my best friend and it's like you're leaving. And I'll miss you. But I've never felt the way you probably feel about Daniel, about anyone—"
"You will one day."
Kim chewed on her lip, shifted her eyes out to the black ocean. "I don't think I'm the same as you, Ellie. Or Meg."
Crinkling her nose, Ellie let out a laugh. "What? You mean you're not a horn-bag?"
With a shrug, Kim tucked her chin close to her chest. "I'm just not into ... it. Never have been. Don't want ever to be—"
"Don't stress, you haven't met the right person yet—"
"I've met lots of people, Ellie. I was in Ollie Glass's tour bus at Glasto—"
Ellie gasped. "You were?"
"We pashed, yeah, but I didn't want to root him. Ugh. I just wanted to talk to him about drum licks."
"Talk about keeping secrets," Ellie grinned.
"Yeah. I know. Sorry." Kim squeaked her lips together.
"It's okay," Ellie said, nudging against Kim. "Is he a good kisser—"
"If you must know, yeah, he's good. And he has red silk P.J.'s and sleeps with his Les Paul ... "
Ellie did want to know. Wow. Ollie Glass from Silent Moth slept with his Les Paul in red silk pyjamas. Ellie would have to try that one day with her Gibson. See if brought her even closer to her music—
"Don't get me wrong, Ellie," Kim continued, and Ellie stopped thinking about Ollie Glass in his red silk 'jammies and met Kim's eyes, worried Kim would think she wasn't listening to her. "I get what you and Daniel have," Kim said. "And that's not for me. But I understand."
Ellie wrapped her arm more tightly around her friend, not even sure what Kim was saying, but sure she had to support her whatever it meant. "Whatever works for you, works for me, Kimmie, whether you fall in love, or not, or get married, or not, or just want to be on your own or with a chick or a guy. Or ten chicks. I don't care. I just want you to do what makes you happy."
"That means a lot," Kim said, taking a breath in as she relaxed against Ellie. "Mostly I realised I need to do my own thing. Be on my own every now and then. I really want you to be happy too. With Daniel. Really."
"I should've told you about my horny feelings for him from the start." Ellie looked at the glowing tip of the shortening cigarette and where the smoke curled away in the wind.
"Maybe. I just hate myself for making you think you couldn't be with him."
Ellie let out a low chuckle. "I honestly don't think anyone or anything could keep us apart."
"Remember when you said you didn't want him to swoop in with his gigantic sword and rescue us?" Kim said more brightly, nudging Ellie's elbow. "How do you feel about that statement now?"
"You mean because he found the voices on the demo tape?" Ellie grinned, thinking of Daniel's pleased face when she'd told Kim and Meg it had been him who'd made the epic discovery of Jessie's confession on the demo tape.
"Yeah."
"You know, I think he just likes to help everyone. In a nice way. I think he's genuinely a decent person."
"He's pretty spesh."
"Not as spesh as you," Ellie smiled. "Let's make a rule. Tell each other if we fall in love."
"No more rules, Ellie," Kim said, her eyes on Ellie's with a new sparkle. "No more rules, pacts, lists. Let's just get shit done and enjoy it."
After taking a drag on her cigarette and pondering this new world of freedom and no rules and Daniel's philosophy of just 'enjoying it', Ellie blew the smoke into the air, knowing it was what they all needed to move on. "Done."
Kim leaned into Ellie's side. "Did you just say you were in love with Daniel?"
Ellie's cheeks pinkened, and she laughed her embarrassment away as Kim rubbed her hand roughly over Ellie's hair, messing it up.
"Holy shit, Ellie. That's huge."
Ellie pictured Daniel with his hair stuck up at the back of his head, the way he'd looked at Ellie that afternoon with his heavy eyes and flushed cheeks. She took one last drag on the cig and pressed it out on the cold sand. "You know, Kimmie, we haven't ... shagged, but I—"
"Are you serious?" Kim turned to her with bright eyes "How can you both be holding out on that?"
Ellie picked at her fingernail. "Well, I mean ... it's really only today that we got our shit sorted ..." She let out a chuckle and held her hands to her fiery cheeks and opened her eyes wide at Kim. "But Kimmie, to be honest, I'm despo. I fancy him so much. I just want to jump him all the time. He's going to think I'm sex-crazed or something."
Kim leaned into Ellie and chuckled. "Stop thinking so much. Just do what you need to do."
Ellie watched the waves suck in and out on the beach in front of them and wondered where Daniel was and what he was doing, working through in her mind how she could make it happen with him.
Soon.
"I can't wait to get in the studio." Kim let out a long breath of air, breaking Ellie's thoughts. "I reckon you're holding out on us. That song you showed us was epic. I reckon you're writing other stuff that's gonna blow our minds."
Ellie shrugged. "Maybe they're all crud. Who cares? All that matters is you're okay."
Sand flicked into Ellie's arm, and she turned to see Meg and Coral sauntering past them.
"Hey—" she raised her hand, about to call out to them, when Kim hushed her down.
They both watched as Coral and Meg wandered lazily across the sand in their bare feet. Meg, clearly a little past her best, zigzagged along next to Coral, bumping into her occasionally while Coral, also a little sluggish, had her hands shoved deep into the pockets of her skirt as she made her way down the beach, laughing across at Meg.
"Do you reckon they're ... " Kim whispered with a glint in her eye.
Ellie watched the silhouettes dance their way towards the water. "Coral and Meg?"
Kim nodded. "You do know Coral's had a thing for Meg for yonks, don't you?"
Ellie stared at Kim, then back and Coral and Meg who were jumping over the tiny waves breaking right on the beach. "Are you serious?"
Kim frowned. "Don't tell me you didn't know. Coral thinks she's the best thing since slap bands were invented."
"But ... they're just friends. They've been friends forever." Ellie turned and squinted across the beach as Meg's laughter peeled back towards them in the wind.
"Sometimes you're as clueless as Megsy is," Kim gave a smooth snort. "I think your sister is hoping at some point Meg will grow out of shacking up with everyone else and come home to her."
Ellie had no words. Her own sister, sick in love with Meg, the sweetest, sometimes-not-so-clever girl Coral had known for years. Coral taught Megsy to surf. Watched her evolve from a gawky kid into a rock chick. Watched as she'd draped herself over various men and women along the way. Coral was the calmest, coolest person Ellie knew. The surf-chick who always did things her own way. Strong and driven and grounded. Ellie watched Coral splash water at Meg with her foot as Meg squealed and giggled around her and it all fell into place.
"Does Meg know?" Ellie tucked her heels closer to her haunches and held them in place, trying to compute it all.
"I dunno," Kim pondered. "I keep thinking that maybe because Coral's been there the whole time Megsy can't see it."
Ellie scratched up her hair. "This tour has been insane and we've only just started. London will be a holiday after all this shit."
Kim chuckled. "I'd better go. I'm getting a bus at nine a.m."
"There's no way you're getting on a bus," Ellie frowned. "You don't need to slum it anymore. We're number one, remember? Get Brenin to call his pilot. Oh, but you might have to fly with James. He got grumpy 'cos Coral had a go at him about Meg, so he said he was going back to Melbourne too—" Ellie paused. "Oh fuck, there it is. Coral was looking out for Meg—"
Kim stood and brushed the sand off her jeans. "Look at them."
Ellie turned back to see Meg pushing Coral from behind, trying to shift her strong, toned body forward into the water while Coral stood stiff with her hands on her hips.
"It's too cute. Let's leave them alone." Ellie stretched her legs out in front of her and pushed herself off the sand and Kim linked her arm in Ellie's as they wandered back towards the steps to the surf club.
"Devine!"
Ellie and Kim looked up to the balcony, where Daniel waved down at them.
"Fancy a musical threesome?" Daniel called with a laugh, his hair shimmering in the moonlight as it rippled in the breeze. "I know of a rather pleasant tune that's number two on the charts right now. It's got a brilliant drum lick for you, Kim."
Kim laughed up to him, then pulled in Ellie for a hug. "I'll leave you to it. Don't think so much."
Ellie scrunched her nose as Kim scooted back up the stairs, giving Daniel a pat on the arm as she passed him. "She's all yours," she grinned at him.
Daniel held his hand out to Ellie from the top of the stairs, waggling his fingers at her to hurry.
"Devine," he whispered as they stepped under the fairy lights. His voice returned to his usual upbeat chirp now the weed had worn off. "Would you do the honour of accompanying me somewhere rather special?"
Ellie's heart surged as he curled his arms around her. "The pub closed at midnight—"
"Just say yes, Ellie," Daniel murmured into her ear as he turned her around, leading her back down the steps and onto the beach.
"But what about—"
"No questions," he said, tugging on her hand to speed her up as they waded across the sand. "Come with me. I think you're going to enjoy it."